On Monday's Heroes, Ellen Greene was Sylar's mom. She's a Broadway vet, and probably most recognized as Audrey from the big screen Little Shop of Horrors. John Badham, of Wargames and Saturday Night Fever fame, was the director of the episode.
Michael Shanks, Dr. Daniel Jackson on Stargate SG-1, has been the spy collaborating with the Russians and banging the VP's girlfriend on recent eps of 24.
On last Tuesday's House, Shonda Farr played the chick in for a breast exam when Wilson was hysterically freaked out on uppers House had dosed his coffee with. I recognize her most as April, the fuckbot Warren built in Buffy's "I Was Made to Love You." Coyote Ugly's Piper Perabo was the vegan House is attempting to get jiggy with.
On last week's wacky CSI (and really, hasn't this been the best season of this show?) about alien conspiracy nuts, Ally Sheedy (Breakfast Club!) was "true believer" who bit Greg and beheaded the "serpent queen." Enrico Colantoni (Papa Mars, Galaxy Quest and Just Shoot Me) was the sleazy perp. Julie Hagerty (Airplane!) was his con victim who really, really wanted to believe the serpentine aliens were here on earth, who needed to be beheaded (Paris Hilton's head is still attached, so no "mission accomplished").
On Tuesday's superb return to form for Veronica Mars (why didn't they come back from hiatus with this ep, instead of the PSA about tolerance?), Paul Rudd was the snarkalicious former rock star, Desmond Fellows. Paul, of course, you would recognize from Clueless, Friends and all the Apatow comedies. Also on VM that night was Suzanne Cryer as the Chinese teacher who had a thing for Desmond. I've had a crush on her since she was Ashley on Two Guys and a Girl, and most recently she popped up on Desperate Housewives.
On last night's Bones, Emily Deschanel's father, noted cinematographer Caleb Deschanel, was the ep's director.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
American Idol Final Four: How Can You Mend a Broken Ear?
First things first: I love the Bee Gees, okay? I love disco. Yes, I appreciate artsy, acoustic singer-songwriters and "challenging" songs about world peace and political issues. And sure, virtually every other genre of music, from punk and electronica to country and rap basks in the glow of critical adoration, while disco is a form of music banished to the kids' table during Thanksgiving dinner like the strange cousin who eats paste. But ya know what? Disco is virtually the only type of music that actually makes me "feel good." Brings back memories of happier times in my life, doesn't try to teach me a ham-handed "lesson" and just makes makes me want to move.
So you can imagine how happy I was to see Idol get around to "disco night," or more appropriately, Bee Gees/Barry Gibb night. Little did I know that once it was over, I would have probably would have enjoyed "Idols sing Thom Yorke" or "50 Cent Night" more.
No one said anything about it, but what the hell was up with Barry Gibb's face? I don't think it was the typical case of overbotoxed/face-lifted aging star. Something was going on with his jaw, like he had just gotten it reset and couldn't enunciate more clearly than Logan Echolls or Sylvester the cat. In fact, he sounded like the Sean Connery caricature on "Celebrity Jeopardy." Still, he could bring the falsetto and gave the Idol wannabees solid advice (which Lakisha would ignore, as usual) and had a vast songbook from which the final four could choose.
Melinda, the "resident pro," led us off with "Love You Inside and Out," and did her usual resident pro thing. Solid vocals, great technique, but nothing spectacular. Later, for her second song, she performed "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart." Once again, solid, but unspectacular. And I'm not a doctor or anything (but I do watch House), but every time Melinda ran across a lyric about "heart," she grabbed her tummy. Does she need to play "Operation" and learn where these parts are? Did anyone else notice this? Not great, but compared to some of what was to follow, it was stellar.
Blake was up next, to bring us the high energy romp that is "You Should Be Dancing." Except that it wasn't a high energy romp. As much as I loved the god-forsaken beatboxing last week against my better judgment, he overdid it tonight. Maybe it was like when someone thought it was funny when Jack Tripper fell over the couch, and then he spent the next five years falling over the couch on every episode of Three's Company. I think Blake was reading his press clippings all week, about 90% positive, on taking Bon Jovi to beatboxland, and decided that no song, no matter the context, would be complete without it. Or maybe he realized that his falsetto lacked any projection or power, and was determined to distract us all from it. Whatever the reason, this song was a mess. Ironically, it did not convince me I should be dancing. Maybe "You Should Be Drinking More Heavily and Listening to Your Saturday Night Fever CD" would have been more apt. For his second tune, Blake came back with "This is Where I Came In." Of all the songs in the catalog, he chose this? That's like saying "Spock's Brain" is your favorite episode of Star Trek. Or "Black Market" is your favorite Battlestar Galactica. Or "Beer Bad" is your favorite Buffy. Okay, you get the point. Even Barry Gibb, who wrote the fucking thing, was surprised. Again, the beatboxing distracted from the poor song choice, and Blake actually hit more notes with power this time, but his inexplicable decision to choose a tuneless tune might just kill him, unless the "Blaker Girls" come out in force. Wow. There's "taking chances," and then there's just pissing all over the litterbox of goodwill. I can't believe Blake didn't pick "Jive Talking" or "Nights on Broadway" or something that would combine fun and energy with a recognizable song.
Last week's fortunate survivor, Lakisha, comes out to belt "Stayin' Alive." Should be a slam dunk, right? Except....not. Typically, she shouts all over it, and bizarrely slows down the tempo to an anthemic and touchstone up tempo song from the era. After scowling her way through what should have been a fun hoot, she comes back for her second at bat with "Run to Me" and hits a few more notes this time amidst the hollering, but cracks a note at the end and puts a fitting capper on a disastrous week for her. And of course, she ignored all the advice given her, despite nodding enthusiastically when hearing it. Is her hubris greater than Blake's?
Jordin bats clean up, and should be happy to have survived Bon Jovi week. She plays it relatively safe, and chooses (both times) more "diva-appropriate" songs. Barry Gibb touches himself during the coaching session, and while I love Jordin and she's my "hope" to win, I think the gushing is a little much. Still, she does "To Love Somebody" and it kicks a little ass and is even a bit soulful. She comes back for her second tune with a song made famous by Barbra Striesand, "Woman in Love." Say what you want about her narcissism and hysterical political rantings, but Babs has one of the finest vocal instruments ever recorded. Jordin suffers in comparison to James Brolin's wife, but hell, who wouldn't? I enjoyed it, the judges didn't, but Jordin comes out of tonight's clusterfuck at least a solid number two, if not tied with Melinda.
This hour was almost as painful to get through as a results show, yet I couldn't fast forward through the bad parts. It was even more crushing since I had high hopes for the theme and most of the Idols had performed strongly with Jon Bon Jovi. I'm simply aghast.
TNRLM's Top 2: Jordin and Melinda, by a mile.
TNRLM's Bottom 2: Blake and Lakisha.
Lakisha should go home tonight, unless haters of beatboxing rise up with torches and pitchforks and storm the castle.
So you can imagine how happy I was to see Idol get around to "disco night," or more appropriately, Bee Gees/Barry Gibb night. Little did I know that once it was over, I would have probably would have enjoyed "Idols sing Thom Yorke" or "50 Cent Night" more.
No one said anything about it, but what the hell was up with Barry Gibb's face? I don't think it was the typical case of overbotoxed/face-lifted aging star. Something was going on with his jaw, like he had just gotten it reset and couldn't enunciate more clearly than Logan Echolls or Sylvester the cat. In fact, he sounded like the Sean Connery caricature on "Celebrity Jeopardy." Still, he could bring the falsetto and gave the Idol wannabees solid advice (which Lakisha would ignore, as usual) and had a vast songbook from which the final four could choose.
Melinda, the "resident pro," led us off with "Love You Inside and Out," and did her usual resident pro thing. Solid vocals, great technique, but nothing spectacular. Later, for her second song, she performed "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart." Once again, solid, but unspectacular. And I'm not a doctor or anything (but I do watch House), but every time Melinda ran across a lyric about "heart," she grabbed her tummy. Does she need to play "Operation" and learn where these parts are? Did anyone else notice this? Not great, but compared to some of what was to follow, it was stellar.
Blake was up next, to bring us the high energy romp that is "You Should Be Dancing." Except that it wasn't a high energy romp. As much as I loved the god-forsaken beatboxing last week against my better judgment, he overdid it tonight. Maybe it was like when someone thought it was funny when Jack Tripper fell over the couch, and then he spent the next five years falling over the couch on every episode of Three's Company. I think Blake was reading his press clippings all week, about 90% positive, on taking Bon Jovi to beatboxland, and decided that no song, no matter the context, would be complete without it. Or maybe he realized that his falsetto lacked any projection or power, and was determined to distract us all from it. Whatever the reason, this song was a mess. Ironically, it did not convince me I should be dancing. Maybe "You Should Be Drinking More Heavily and Listening to Your Saturday Night Fever CD" would have been more apt. For his second tune, Blake came back with "This is Where I Came In." Of all the songs in the catalog, he chose this? That's like saying "Spock's Brain" is your favorite episode of Star Trek. Or "Black Market" is your favorite Battlestar Galactica. Or "Beer Bad" is your favorite Buffy. Okay, you get the point. Even Barry Gibb, who wrote the fucking thing, was surprised. Again, the beatboxing distracted from the poor song choice, and Blake actually hit more notes with power this time, but his inexplicable decision to choose a tuneless tune might just kill him, unless the "Blaker Girls" come out in force. Wow. There's "taking chances," and then there's just pissing all over the litterbox of goodwill. I can't believe Blake didn't pick "Jive Talking" or "Nights on Broadway" or something that would combine fun and energy with a recognizable song.
Last week's fortunate survivor, Lakisha, comes out to belt "Stayin' Alive." Should be a slam dunk, right? Except....not. Typically, she shouts all over it, and bizarrely slows down the tempo to an anthemic and touchstone up tempo song from the era. After scowling her way through what should have been a fun hoot, she comes back for her second at bat with "Run to Me" and hits a few more notes this time amidst the hollering, but cracks a note at the end and puts a fitting capper on a disastrous week for her. And of course, she ignored all the advice given her, despite nodding enthusiastically when hearing it. Is her hubris greater than Blake's?
Jordin bats clean up, and should be happy to have survived Bon Jovi week. She plays it relatively safe, and chooses (both times) more "diva-appropriate" songs. Barry Gibb touches himself during the coaching session, and while I love Jordin and she's my "hope" to win, I think the gushing is a little much. Still, she does "To Love Somebody" and it kicks a little ass and is even a bit soulful. She comes back for her second tune with a song made famous by Barbra Striesand, "Woman in Love." Say what you want about her narcissism and hysterical political rantings, but Babs has one of the finest vocal instruments ever recorded. Jordin suffers in comparison to James Brolin's wife, but hell, who wouldn't? I enjoyed it, the judges didn't, but Jordin comes out of tonight's clusterfuck at least a solid number two, if not tied with Melinda.
This hour was almost as painful to get through as a results show, yet I couldn't fast forward through the bad parts. It was even more crushing since I had high hopes for the theme and most of the Idols had performed strongly with Jon Bon Jovi. I'm simply aghast.
TNRLM's Top 2: Jordin and Melinda, by a mile.
TNRLM's Bottom 2: Blake and Lakisha.
Lakisha should go home tonight, unless haters of beatboxing rise up with torches and pitchforks and storm the castle.
Monday, May 7, 2007
EW's Sci-Fi 25
Okay, if you haven't read Entertainment Weekly's "Sci-Fi 25" article in the latest issue, then you should. Or, just click here and read it online.
All caught up? Good.
A fun premise and one that lends itself to debate. And except for a few minor quibbles, I won't argue with the editors' choices. Starting at 25, I'll add my comments on a few of the entries, and then tell you the two painful omissions from the list.
25: V: The Miniseries. I recall being riveted to the television as a teenager when this came out. Between the rodent snacking and the reptilian baby, it was the high point of the miniseries craze on network TV for those of us not fascinated with Richard Chamberlain, and long drawn out weepy love stories.
24: Galaxy Quest. An unbelievably pitch perfect straddling of the fence between gentle mocking of sci-fi geeks (of which I am one) and honoring their devotion and the "conventions" (in every sense of the word) of Trekkian lore. Terrifically cast, sharply written and spot on.
23: Doctor Who. I must admit, I never watched the old BBC versions, but after great critical buzz, I tuned into Skiffy for the updated revival, and was glad I did. A show with cheek, heart and wit.
22: Quantum Leap. As surprisingly awful as Scott Bakula was as Captain Archer on Enterprise (and I was a Trek fan initially thrilled with his casting), he was fantastic as time traveling scientist Sam Beckett. The show had a nice mixture of Sam leaping into "everyday" situations in various timelines along with encounters (and inhabitations) of more famous people in history (Elvis, Lee Harvey Oswald, Marilyn Monroe to name a few). One of the shows on this list (along with V, X-Files, Blade Runner, Khan) that I recall watching with my father, who showed me you could be "cool" and also embrace your inner geek. Intelligently written, sincerely acted and usually compassionate, it also frequently sent me running to the World Book (before the days of the Interwebs) to read up on the time periods represented in its humanistic storylines.
19: Starship Troopers. Really, one of the great misunderstood sci-fi spectacles of all time. I read the books as a kid, and even played the wargames complete with alien bug "counters." People who just didn't "get it" complained that the acting (from noted thespians Casper Van Dien and Denise Richards) was as cardboard as the counters used in the games just referenced, and took the fascist slant as straight on propaganda rather than the brilliant satire it was. Besides, where else can you see Doogie Howser (and Barney Stinson) dressed in Nazi regalia talking telepathically to giant insects?
18: Heroes. As close as we'll ever see to a straight up comic book on TV, without the spandex. It's too soon to say whether or not it will collapse under its own weight and mythic intentions, or if it will engender too much ill will from hewing too closely to previous comic iconography (cough*Watchmen*cough), but right now it's a thrilling and "page turning" must see every Monday.
17: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yes, you can loosely classify this as "sci-fi" because of the premise, but at its heart it's a fascinating, moving and heartbreaking meditation on love and the questions all of us ponder in our minds and souls while trying (and ultimately failing) to make a connection. While I wouldn't put this on a classic, "critical" list of the top 10 movies ever made, it would certainly deserve consideration for inclusion on my "personal favorite" and "most thought provoking" lists. And what I wouldn't fucking pay to be able to use that technology for real.
15: Firefly/Serenity. If you're not already a "Browncoat," you should be. If you value characters, dialogue and entertainment at its best, you owe it to yourself to sit down and watch this killed before its time series (and follow up movie). I guarantee you'll watch the first couple of episodes and suddenly find yourself in a weekend DVD marathon, and then feel indescribably sad that there are no more stories being told in this beautiful, dramatic, funny and richly drawn 'verse. But forever grateful that we got what we did.
14: Children of Men. I recently saw this, and was astounded that it wasn't even nominated for Best Picture. Everything is perfectly realized and executed; the performances, the characters, the writing, the concept, the direction. Dark and hopeful at the same time, this is sci-fi storytelling at its best, and accessible enough for folks who don't want to see bumpy-headed aliens and spaceships.
13: The Terminator/Terminator 2. Sci-fi is one of those rare genres where going back to the well for a sequel or reconceptualization often produces superlative work (Wrath of Khan, Star Trek: TNG, Aliens, Empire Strikes Back, BSG) and T2 is no exception. Strangely, there's one moment that has always bugged me about the amped up sequel, and it has nothing to do with time loop causality, paradoxes or the "rules" of the "mimetic alloy." When the T-1000 (one of the best villains ever created) corners Sarah Conner at the climax in the factory, and pierces her shoulder and needs her to "call out" to her son John in order to lure him closer -- why does it do this? After all, it has been well demonstrated that it can take any form and mimic any voice. Why not kill her there, assume her voice and identity, and lure John that way? Does this bug anyone else?
11: Lost. While I passionately love this show, I question whether or not it belongs on a list of "sci-fi." If you do, how far do you open up the definition? Still, this is breathtaking storytelling which doesn't diminish -- and in fact, greatly enhances -- characterization.
10: The Thing. If Kurt Russell wasn't already a geek god for his portrayals of Jack Burton and Snake Plissken, then R.J. MacReady would have put him on the throne anyway. Cutting edge effects for the time and unrelenting tension in a setting of absolute isolation made this sci-fi horror at its best. I defy anyone to relax (or hell, breathe) during the petrie dish testing scene.
9: Aliens. There was no way to improve on the "haunted house" perfection of the original Alien, so James Cameron didn't even try. Instead, he wisely took the story in a completely different direction and produced one of the most quotable, thrilling, empowering yet still creepy epics ever to grace the screen. Of all the DVD movies in my collection, I may have watched this one the most. Not a false moment in two plus hours of thrills, chills and gasps.
8: Star Trek: The Next Generation. Despite an awkward and at times clunky first season, TNG quickly found its voice and continued the Trekkian legacy of compelling allegories and thought-provoking metaphors, told from a perspective that was as hopeful as it was "human," and anchored by the stellar work of Patrick Stewart. "The Best of Both Worlds" was the best season ending cliffhanger in television history (and this geek was actually around to wonder who shot JR, too).
5: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Delivers on every aspect of the original Trek that the moody and slower first big screen adventure just missed. Kirk and Khan's game of "Ahab" is a thing to behold, and it's a wonder there was a set left in which to film, given all the scenery being (delightfully and entertainingly) chewed. Also, one of the few times I can recall my father and I weeping openly during the same movie (geeks know when), while my mom rolled her eyes, but secretly choked up a little too.
4: The X-Files. I love this show (hell, one of my cats is named "Mulder") and frequently find myself rewatching episodes. Though the whole "mythology" never quite paid off as coherently as fans hoped, the classic "funny," "drama" and "horror" standalone episodes (like "Bad Blood," "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" and "Home" respectively, for example) still rank as some of the best single hours of television ever produced.
3: Blade Runner. A perfectly realized vision of a dystopian future that set the standard for sci-fi on screen, and like many, based on a work by Phillip K. Dick. Unjustly ignored upon its release and now considered a classic, it poses the ultimate question of what exactly does it mean to be "human?" And a movie that still leaves fans with the nagging question: Rick Deckard, yes or no?
2: Battlestar Galactica (new). Quite simply, the BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION. A fascinating, dark and morally complex tale that draws deep, grey and rich characters and tells stories that always keep you coming back for more. If you're not watching this, you're missing television history.
1: The Matrix. Another movie, that if DVDs actually showed wear and tear, would be in tatters. The number of times I've seen this borders on the embarrassing, yet each and every time I find it breathtaking and addictive. A perfect blend of superhero action, Gibsonian cyberpunk, epic storytelling, unrelenting violence, iconic imagery and cutting edge film making techniques.
As I said, I didn't have many arguments with their list. However, there are two titles I would add:
Stargate SG-1. Yep, the movie, despite the presence of Kurt Russell and James Spader, was pretty bad. And for the longest time, I avoided the series, thinking it was just a hokey action adventure show. But I started catching repeats on Skiffy, and found myself drawn to it at first for tight plots and interesting explorations of earth mythology (actually created long ago by visiting aliens). But the heart of the show has always been about the "teamy goodness" of the central characters, and the humanistic and passionate attributes they bring to their weekly exploits. At the end of the day, you continue to watch because you care about these folks as well defined and well acted characters, and even though SG-1 will soon end after establishing itself as the longest running sci-fi series ever, I'll miss them.
Farscape. On its surface, the concept is ludicrous. A modern day astronaut gets sent through a wormhole into a distant universe populated by bizarre aliens (typically realized by Henson Company puppets and extravagant make up) and borderline fascist humanoids called "Peacekeepers." But the show, which was canceled way before its time, was unbelievably nimble in its storytelling, psychotically bouncing through long story arcs with heartbreaking drama, laugh out loud wit, pop-culture references galore, edge of your seat action, sheer popcorn entertainment, darkly fascinating characters, and the most compelling love story I've ever seen on TV. Yes, that last part is true. If you don't care about the romance and relationship travails of John Crichton and Aeryn Sun, then you just don't have a soul or a heart. The spectacle of the show was always there, but as with all great stories in any genre, it's the characters that keep you coming back for more.
All caught up? Good.
A fun premise and one that lends itself to debate. And except for a few minor quibbles, I won't argue with the editors' choices. Starting at 25, I'll add my comments on a few of the entries, and then tell you the two painful omissions from the list.
25: V: The Miniseries. I recall being riveted to the television as a teenager when this came out. Between the rodent snacking and the reptilian baby, it was the high point of the miniseries craze on network TV for those of us not fascinated with Richard Chamberlain, and long drawn out weepy love stories.
24: Galaxy Quest. An unbelievably pitch perfect straddling of the fence between gentle mocking of sci-fi geeks (of which I am one) and honoring their devotion and the "conventions" (in every sense of the word) of Trekkian lore. Terrifically cast, sharply written and spot on.
23: Doctor Who. I must admit, I never watched the old BBC versions, but after great critical buzz, I tuned into Skiffy for the updated revival, and was glad I did. A show with cheek, heart and wit.
22: Quantum Leap. As surprisingly awful as Scott Bakula was as Captain Archer on Enterprise (and I was a Trek fan initially thrilled with his casting), he was fantastic as time traveling scientist Sam Beckett. The show had a nice mixture of Sam leaping into "everyday" situations in various timelines along with encounters (and inhabitations) of more famous people in history (Elvis, Lee Harvey Oswald, Marilyn Monroe to name a few). One of the shows on this list (along with V, X-Files, Blade Runner, Khan) that I recall watching with my father, who showed me you could be "cool" and also embrace your inner geek. Intelligently written, sincerely acted and usually compassionate, it also frequently sent me running to the World Book (before the days of the Interwebs) to read up on the time periods represented in its humanistic storylines.
19: Starship Troopers. Really, one of the great misunderstood sci-fi spectacles of all time. I read the books as a kid, and even played the wargames complete with alien bug "counters." People who just didn't "get it" complained that the acting (from noted thespians Casper Van Dien and Denise Richards) was as cardboard as the counters used in the games just referenced, and took the fascist slant as straight on propaganda rather than the brilliant satire it was. Besides, where else can you see Doogie Howser (and Barney Stinson) dressed in Nazi regalia talking telepathically to giant insects?
18: Heroes. As close as we'll ever see to a straight up comic book on TV, without the spandex. It's too soon to say whether or not it will collapse under its own weight and mythic intentions, or if it will engender too much ill will from hewing too closely to previous comic iconography (cough*Watchmen*cough), but right now it's a thrilling and "page turning" must see every Monday.
17: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Yes, you can loosely classify this as "sci-fi" because of the premise, but at its heart it's a fascinating, moving and heartbreaking meditation on love and the questions all of us ponder in our minds and souls while trying (and ultimately failing) to make a connection. While I wouldn't put this on a classic, "critical" list of the top 10 movies ever made, it would certainly deserve consideration for inclusion on my "personal favorite" and "most thought provoking" lists. And what I wouldn't fucking pay to be able to use that technology for real.
15: Firefly/Serenity. If you're not already a "Browncoat," you should be. If you value characters, dialogue and entertainment at its best, you owe it to yourself to sit down and watch this killed before its time series (and follow up movie). I guarantee you'll watch the first couple of episodes and suddenly find yourself in a weekend DVD marathon, and then feel indescribably sad that there are no more stories being told in this beautiful, dramatic, funny and richly drawn 'verse. But forever grateful that we got what we did.
14: Children of Men. I recently saw this, and was astounded that it wasn't even nominated for Best Picture. Everything is perfectly realized and executed; the performances, the characters, the writing, the concept, the direction. Dark and hopeful at the same time, this is sci-fi storytelling at its best, and accessible enough for folks who don't want to see bumpy-headed aliens and spaceships.
13: The Terminator/Terminator 2. Sci-fi is one of those rare genres where going back to the well for a sequel or reconceptualization often produces superlative work (Wrath of Khan, Star Trek: TNG, Aliens, Empire Strikes Back, BSG) and T2 is no exception. Strangely, there's one moment that has always bugged me about the amped up sequel, and it has nothing to do with time loop causality, paradoxes or the "rules" of the "mimetic alloy." When the T-1000 (one of the best villains ever created) corners Sarah Conner at the climax in the factory, and pierces her shoulder and needs her to "call out" to her son John in order to lure him closer -- why does it do this? After all, it has been well demonstrated that it can take any form and mimic any voice. Why not kill her there, assume her voice and identity, and lure John that way? Does this bug anyone else?
11: Lost. While I passionately love this show, I question whether or not it belongs on a list of "sci-fi." If you do, how far do you open up the definition? Still, this is breathtaking storytelling which doesn't diminish -- and in fact, greatly enhances -- characterization.
10: The Thing. If Kurt Russell wasn't already a geek god for his portrayals of Jack Burton and Snake Plissken, then R.J. MacReady would have put him on the throne anyway. Cutting edge effects for the time and unrelenting tension in a setting of absolute isolation made this sci-fi horror at its best. I defy anyone to relax (or hell, breathe) during the petrie dish testing scene.
9: Aliens. There was no way to improve on the "haunted house" perfection of the original Alien, so James Cameron didn't even try. Instead, he wisely took the story in a completely different direction and produced one of the most quotable, thrilling, empowering yet still creepy epics ever to grace the screen. Of all the DVD movies in my collection, I may have watched this one the most. Not a false moment in two plus hours of thrills, chills and gasps.
8: Star Trek: The Next Generation. Despite an awkward and at times clunky first season, TNG quickly found its voice and continued the Trekkian legacy of compelling allegories and thought-provoking metaphors, told from a perspective that was as hopeful as it was "human," and anchored by the stellar work of Patrick Stewart. "The Best of Both Worlds" was the best season ending cliffhanger in television history (and this geek was actually around to wonder who shot JR, too).
5: Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Delivers on every aspect of the original Trek that the moody and slower first big screen adventure just missed. Kirk and Khan's game of "Ahab" is a thing to behold, and it's a wonder there was a set left in which to film, given all the scenery being (delightfully and entertainingly) chewed. Also, one of the few times I can recall my father and I weeping openly during the same movie (geeks know when), while my mom rolled her eyes, but secretly choked up a little too.
4: The X-Files. I love this show (hell, one of my cats is named "Mulder") and frequently find myself rewatching episodes. Though the whole "mythology" never quite paid off as coherently as fans hoped, the classic "funny," "drama" and "horror" standalone episodes (like "Bad Blood," "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose" and "Home" respectively, for example) still rank as some of the best single hours of television ever produced.
3: Blade Runner. A perfectly realized vision of a dystopian future that set the standard for sci-fi on screen, and like many, based on a work by Phillip K. Dick. Unjustly ignored upon its release and now considered a classic, it poses the ultimate question of what exactly does it mean to be "human?" And a movie that still leaves fans with the nagging question: Rick Deckard, yes or no?
2: Battlestar Galactica (new). Quite simply, the BEST SHOW ON TELEVISION. A fascinating, dark and morally complex tale that draws deep, grey and rich characters and tells stories that always keep you coming back for more. If you're not watching this, you're missing television history.
1: The Matrix. Another movie, that if DVDs actually showed wear and tear, would be in tatters. The number of times I've seen this borders on the embarrassing, yet each and every time I find it breathtaking and addictive. A perfect blend of superhero action, Gibsonian cyberpunk, epic storytelling, unrelenting violence, iconic imagery and cutting edge film making techniques.
As I said, I didn't have many arguments with their list. However, there are two titles I would add:
Stargate SG-1. Yep, the movie, despite the presence of Kurt Russell and James Spader, was pretty bad. And for the longest time, I avoided the series, thinking it was just a hokey action adventure show. But I started catching repeats on Skiffy, and found myself drawn to it at first for tight plots and interesting explorations of earth mythology (actually created long ago by visiting aliens). But the heart of the show has always been about the "teamy goodness" of the central characters, and the humanistic and passionate attributes they bring to their weekly exploits. At the end of the day, you continue to watch because you care about these folks as well defined and well acted characters, and even though SG-1 will soon end after establishing itself as the longest running sci-fi series ever, I'll miss them.
Farscape. On its surface, the concept is ludicrous. A modern day astronaut gets sent through a wormhole into a distant universe populated by bizarre aliens (typically realized by Henson Company puppets and extravagant make up) and borderline fascist humanoids called "Peacekeepers." But the show, which was canceled way before its time, was unbelievably nimble in its storytelling, psychotically bouncing through long story arcs with heartbreaking drama, laugh out loud wit, pop-culture references galore, edge of your seat action, sheer popcorn entertainment, darkly fascinating characters, and the most compelling love story I've ever seen on TV. Yes, that last part is true. If you don't care about the romance and relationship travails of John Crichton and Aeryn Sun, then you just don't have a soul or a heart. The spectacle of the show was always there, but as with all great stories in any genre, it's the characters that keep you coming back for more.
Saturday, May 5, 2007
From the personal file: a bizarre dream
On the counter in my kitchen, I have a retro-looking, shiny toaster. Which I've personally used, uh, never. Beside it is the knife block, where I keep all my exquisite culinary instruments. Which I use, basically, to cut lemons and limes for drinks, sadly. (Or, would be handy if I happen to be in the kitchen when some dude breaks into my house wearing a black robe and a mask inspired by Edvard Munch).
Anyway, I had this ultra-realistic dream last night where I wander downstairs to grab a bottled water, and hear a muffled voice talking to me. I flip on a lamp, only to find that my shiny toaster is talking to me. The words are coming out of the slots on top, which are moving like lips. The toaster is suggesting that I grab one of the knives from the block. Because I always follow the advice of anthropomorphic household appliances, I pull the knife and out wander into the living room, where I find my two cats sitting on the top of an armchair looking at me like I'm crazy. Then I wake up. (And by the term "ultra-realistic," I meant that the dream seemed very real as I was dreaming it. Not that I find talking toasters to be realistic. But people have organized large scale economic and religious ponzi schemes around far less believable things, mind you).
After I woke up, I was still craving that bottled water, so I went downstairs and got one, and actually stared at my toaster for a while. Not surprisingly, no conversation ensued.
So have I been watching too much Battlestar Galactica? Was I coerced by toast as a child? Have I finally gone over the fucking edge? Did I have one whiskey too many last night? Am I a lunatic for actually sharing this on a blog? Uh, I'm not sure of the answers to any of those questions. If my toaster tells me tonight, I'll let you know.
Anyway, I had this ultra-realistic dream last night where I wander downstairs to grab a bottled water, and hear a muffled voice talking to me. I flip on a lamp, only to find that my shiny toaster is talking to me. The words are coming out of the slots on top, which are moving like lips. The toaster is suggesting that I grab one of the knives from the block. Because I always follow the advice of anthropomorphic household appliances, I pull the knife and out wander into the living room, where I find my two cats sitting on the top of an armchair looking at me like I'm crazy. Then I wake up. (And by the term "ultra-realistic," I meant that the dream seemed very real as I was dreaming it. Not that I find talking toasters to be realistic. But people have organized large scale economic and religious ponzi schemes around far less believable things, mind you).
After I woke up, I was still craving that bottled water, so I went downstairs and got one, and actually stared at my toaster for a while. Not surprisingly, no conversation ensued.
So have I been watching too much Battlestar Galactica? Was I coerced by toast as a child? Have I finally gone over the fucking edge? Did I have one whiskey too many last night? Am I a lunatic for actually sharing this on a blog? Uh, I'm not sure of the answers to any of those questions. If my toaster tells me tonight, I'll let you know.
Making it rain
Whereby we throw up a bunch of $1 entertainment nuggets onto the stage and see which STDs take them home.
Speaking of STDs, could there be any better news this morning than this? Go Fug Yourself has a funny take on Paris's impending incarceration. Sometimes, it really does appear that Karma works when wonky-eyed manholes get taken down a notch. One down, one to go.
So Lost is (maybe) ending in two years? On one hand, I like that there's a plan in place for an endgame and completion to the story (a la BSG). While the show started slowly in the "pod" of 6 episodes earlier this year, the back end of the season (with the exception of the Jack's tattoos ep) has been superlative. On the other, I hate to see quality scripted television go away for any reason, and probably be replaced by a cheaper alternative like "Macrame with the C-List Stars!" It will be interesting to see how this unfolds.
I thought Thursday's My Name is Earl was typically funny and sweet, though I didn't realize it contained an homage to Rudy. (Oddly, I've seen just about every sports movie under the sun, but somehow missed Rudy). I didn't do the "laugh and sniff" audience participation part of the show, but it was nice to see Billy Gardell, who I've missed since the wonderful Lucky was cancelled before its time.
How great was Shark's season finale? Sebastian's nemesis Wayne Collison returned, only to get put away at the end for a crime he didn't commit. That Shark executed an intricate plan to frame him was spectacular and completely out of left field. And I love that the character of Shark has kept his dark side, working outside the law to get what he knows is justice. More morally ambiguous characterization, a la Dexter. And it appears my worries about DA 7 of 9 going away were unfounded, if Jessica takes Shark's offer to work for him. Personally, I think this will add the drama and conflict within the show, now the roles have been reversed. Whodat: Frequent Guest Star Tracy Middendorf (24, Alias, House, X-Files, one of the three Ziyals on DS9) was Wendy, Wayne's supposed girlfriend. I'll always remember her from the pilot of Angel.
Although I'm sticking to my vow to be spoiler free, I actually read about this potential keffuffle before getting on the wagon. (Don't click the link or swipe the following text if you don't want possible CSI spoilers): Personally, I could care less if Jorja Fox leaves CSI. I've never really cared for the character of Sara (or thought the actress was all that talented or hot), and this will make the second time Fox thinks she's bigger than the rest of the cast and pulls a prima-donna stunt to haggle over salary. I say kill her off and hook Gil up with Lady Heather.
Speaking of STDs, could there be any better news this morning than this? Go Fug Yourself has a funny take on Paris's impending incarceration. Sometimes, it really does appear that Karma works when wonky-eyed manholes get taken down a notch. One down, one to go.
So Lost is (maybe) ending in two years? On one hand, I like that there's a plan in place for an endgame and completion to the story (a la BSG). While the show started slowly in the "pod" of 6 episodes earlier this year, the back end of the season (with the exception of the Jack's tattoos ep) has been superlative. On the other, I hate to see quality scripted television go away for any reason, and probably be replaced by a cheaper alternative like "Macrame with the C-List Stars!" It will be interesting to see how this unfolds.
I thought Thursday's My Name is Earl was typically funny and sweet, though I didn't realize it contained an homage to Rudy. (Oddly, I've seen just about every sports movie under the sun, but somehow missed Rudy). I didn't do the "laugh and sniff" audience participation part of the show, but it was nice to see Billy Gardell, who I've missed since the wonderful Lucky was cancelled before its time.
How great was Shark's season finale? Sebastian's nemesis Wayne Collison returned, only to get put away at the end for a crime he didn't commit. That Shark executed an intricate plan to frame him was spectacular and completely out of left field. And I love that the character of Shark has kept his dark side, working outside the law to get what he knows is justice. More morally ambiguous characterization, a la Dexter. And it appears my worries about DA 7 of 9 going away were unfounded, if Jessica takes Shark's offer to work for him. Personally, I think this will add the drama and conflict within the show, now the roles have been reversed. Whodat: Frequent Guest Star Tracy Middendorf (24, Alias, House, X-Files, one of the three Ziyals on DS9) was Wendy, Wayne's supposed girlfriend. I'll always remember her from the pilot of Angel.
Although I'm sticking to my vow to be spoiler free, I actually read about this potential keffuffle before getting on the wagon. (Don't click the link or swipe the following text if you don't want possible CSI spoilers): Personally, I could care less if Jorja Fox leaves CSI. I've never really cared for the character of Sara (or thought the actress was all that talented or hot), and this will make the second time Fox thinks she's bigger than the rest of the cast and pulls a prima-donna stunt to haggle over salary. I say kill her off and hook Gil up with Lady Heather.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Sports Shorts
Ryan Langerhans' stay in Oakland was a short, and unbelievably unproductive, one. He hit .000 in two games, and last night, dropped a fly ball in center field leading to a run. Ouch. (I recall drunkenly mocking him with two of my buddies during spring training a few years ago. Of course, I almost got run over by a taxi during that same trip). Not that we're missing him, though.
And has anyone heard anything from Willy Aybar?
Rich Eisen apparently doesn't need to resort to "you're with me, Leather" to get some play. Wow. Perhaps I should have done more with my journalism degree.
Just when you thought you already had enough reasons to hate Stuart Scott, he ups the ante. You've got to be kidding me. I'm sure the Rutgers basketball team would rather be paralyzed versus insulted, right?
How are my baseball predictions looking? Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.
National League: all my division winners are in first place (even the Brewers!). I had the Phils for the WC, and they're playing better of late, but right now, it would be the Mets.
American League: Angels and Red Sox are in first, but the Tigers trail the Tribe by a game and a half. My WC pick, the Yankees, are imploding. Right now, the Tigers hold the WC spot.
NL Individual Awards: Eeek. None of my picks are looking particularly good right now.
AL Individual Awards: Not quite as shaky. All three, especially Vlad, still seem like solid choices.
How long before there's a reality show on Spike TV called "Ron Mexico's Kennel," featuring Lassie, Benji, Rin Tin Tin, Beethoven, Eddie from Frasier and a Korean chef?
After years disappointing UGA fans during the draft (Hines Ward? Reggie Brown? Among many others) , it appears the Falcons are wising up, and at least throwing a bone to the Bulldog faithful (in addition to getting quality players).
Speaking of Bulldogs, sad story about Terreal Bierria here.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was bothered by this. At least they weren't wearing the sub-XFL unis from Any Given Sunday. And if betting on JP Losman doesn't indicate that Tony has a gambling problem, I don't know what does.
And has anyone heard anything from Willy Aybar?
Rich Eisen apparently doesn't need to resort to "you're with me, Leather" to get some play. Wow. Perhaps I should have done more with my journalism degree.
Just when you thought you already had enough reasons to hate Stuart Scott, he ups the ante. You've got to be kidding me. I'm sure the Rutgers basketball team would rather be paralyzed versus insulted, right?
How are my baseball predictions looking? Part 1 here, and Part 2 here.
National League: all my division winners are in first place (even the Brewers!). I had the Phils for the WC, and they're playing better of late, but right now, it would be the Mets.
American League: Angels and Red Sox are in first, but the Tigers trail the Tribe by a game and a half. My WC pick, the Yankees, are imploding. Right now, the Tigers hold the WC spot.
NL Individual Awards: Eeek. None of my picks are looking particularly good right now.
AL Individual Awards: Not quite as shaky. All three, especially Vlad, still seem like solid choices.
How long before there's a reality show on Spike TV called "Ron Mexico's Kennel," featuring Lassie, Benji, Rin Tin Tin, Beethoven, Eddie from Frasier and a Korean chef?
After years disappointing UGA fans during the draft (Hines Ward? Reggie Brown? Among many others) , it appears the Falcons are wising up, and at least throwing a bone to the Bulldog faithful (in addition to getting quality players).
Speaking of Bulldogs, sad story about Terreal Bierria here.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was bothered by this. At least they weren't wearing the sub-XFL unis from Any Given Sunday. And if betting on JP Losman doesn't indicate that Tony has a gambling problem, I don't know what does.
Sawyer strangles Chris Richardson because he was a grey alien who fell from the sky
That headline is kind of a "mash up" of Wednesday night TV viewing. Perhaps I could have come up with a less clunky headline using the "mash up" software (Ableton Live) pimped by Blake Lewis on Idol last night. And I thought he just came up with these beatboxed versions while having a seizure.
American Idol
Chris? Bye. Not sorry to see you go, Timberfake. Perhaps a nice career endorsing Afrin awaits. Phil? I can understand that Phil left, and it's probably for the best. Gaining even more notoriety would mean he might have to appear during the daylight, which we all know is anethma for those afflicted with vampirism. I thought Phil improved solidly since I started watching (I only tune in at the "top 12" stage) and that Lakisha would have been a much better choice to beat it. But hopefully, we'll get rid of her next week, and the world will be as it should for the final 3. And since I never watched all the early crap, packed with backstories and personal life nonsense, I missed out on Phil's unctuous affection for his kid. As TNRLMs readers know, that's not my cup of tea. If I had been subjected to that more during the top 12, I probably wouldn't have appreciated Phil's performances as much.
Other moments of interest:
Bones
Definitely one of the better outings for Bones last night. The only thing missing was a reference to David Bowie's "Man Who Fell to Earth." I think this is one of my favorite procedurals because I simply love all the characters, particularly conspiracy nut Hodgins. His whole "that we know of" bit was priceless, as were several other of his lines:
"Aliens don't wear loafers, people."
"This is harassment. It is illegal to mock people for their fundamental beliefs."
"They are gray, not green. Being that you are half alien yourself, you should know that."
Although, I felt awfully sorry for his proposal to Angela getting shot down again. My kneejerk reaction to this is that Ang is being such a bitch. Why put him through all the machinations? However, after further contemplation, I think she really does love him, and there's some secret she's hiding from Hodgins and us. Maybe she had a secret kid she's trying to figure out how tell him about? (God, I hope not. Please keep my shows as kid-free as possible). Perhaps she had some quickie Vegas marriage long ago to a boyfriend that she never got around to divorcing? I think there's more here than meets the eye.
Other good lines:
"You mean like a death ray, or a space baby?"
"I guess to me right now it looks to me like marriage is having someone that will slap your enemies and then toss their dead bodies out of airplanes."
Plus, there was Zack's expertise on the nature and efficacy of lightsabers. Hee.
Also, Whodats: Agent Pierce! Everyone's favorite Secret Service agent from 24, Glenn Morshower, showed up as one of the former astronauts. (and whatever happened with him and Martha Logan after she stabbed her weaselly ex with a fruit knife? Huh?) And the bitchy space program director was played by Andrea Thompson, best known for NYPD Blue, who also tried to be a CNN Anchor a few years ago.
Lost
Wow. The back part of this season just rocks. Even though I'm going spoiler free, I had deduced that Locke's dad/the "real" Sawyer would meet an untimely end here. Sawyer choking the bastard out with pirate ship chains was fantastic, and former UGA attendee Josh Holloway was mesmerizing throughout. Terry O'Quinn was spectacular as usual. Other notes:
American Idol
Chris? Bye. Not sorry to see you go, Timberfake. Perhaps a nice career endorsing Afrin awaits. Phil? I can understand that Phil left, and it's probably for the best. Gaining even more notoriety would mean he might have to appear during the daylight, which we all know is anethma for those afflicted with vampirism. I thought Phil improved solidly since I started watching (I only tune in at the "top 12" stage) and that Lakisha would have been a much better choice to beat it. But hopefully, we'll get rid of her next week, and the world will be as it should for the final 3. And since I never watched all the early crap, packed with backstories and personal life nonsense, I missed out on Phil's unctuous affection for his kid. As TNRLMs readers know, that's not my cup of tea. If I had been subjected to that more during the top 12, I probably wouldn't have appreciated Phil's performances as much.
Other moments of interest:
- I'm starting to appreciate Seacrest more. His Johnny Carson-esque deadpan eyeroll about the lack of "filler" in the show was well done.
- It was also nice to have him sit Jordin down quickly, after last week's two hour torture.
- Bon Jovi's new song was kinda lame. THAT's the song they want to showcase to 30 million people?
- Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son. Alan was the dad on Growing Pains and had an awful late night talk show, when they were giving them out to everyone (Chevy Chase? Magic Johnson?). Robin's mom is Gloria Loring, who composed and sang the theme song to The Facts of Life and played Liz on Days of Our Lives. That's all I can say about Robin's performance, which I fast-forwarded through after hearing about 10 seconds.
- Worries about the "weighting" of votes appear to be unfounded. After 70 million or so on the telethon, it appeared that Tuesday's votes would not have as much impact statistically, somewhat skewing the results. However, Seacrest said they had 135 million total for the two week period, so that seems fair.
- Are those "Idol Challenge" questions for the developmentally disabled?
Bones
Definitely one of the better outings for Bones last night. The only thing missing was a reference to David Bowie's "Man Who Fell to Earth." I think this is one of my favorite procedurals because I simply love all the characters, particularly conspiracy nut Hodgins. His whole "that we know of" bit was priceless, as were several other of his lines:
"Aliens don't wear loafers, people."
"This is harassment. It is illegal to mock people for their fundamental beliefs."
"They are gray, not green. Being that you are half alien yourself, you should know that."
Although, I felt awfully sorry for his proposal to Angela getting shot down again. My kneejerk reaction to this is that Ang is being such a bitch. Why put him through all the machinations? However, after further contemplation, I think she really does love him, and there's some secret she's hiding from Hodgins and us. Maybe she had a secret kid she's trying to figure out how tell him about? (God, I hope not. Please keep my shows as kid-free as possible). Perhaps she had some quickie Vegas marriage long ago to a boyfriend that she never got around to divorcing? I think there's more here than meets the eye.
Other good lines:
"You mean like a death ray, or a space baby?"
"I guess to me right now it looks to me like marriage is having someone that will slap your enemies and then toss their dead bodies out of airplanes."
Plus, there was Zack's expertise on the nature and efficacy of lightsabers. Hee.
Also, Whodats: Agent Pierce! Everyone's favorite Secret Service agent from 24, Glenn Morshower, showed up as one of the former astronauts. (and whatever happened with him and Martha Logan after she stabbed her weaselly ex with a fruit knife? Huh?) And the bitchy space program director was played by Andrea Thompson, best known for NYPD Blue, who also tried to be a CNN Anchor a few years ago.
Lost
Wow. The back part of this season just rocks. Even though I'm going spoiler free, I had deduced that Locke's dad/the "real" Sawyer would meet an untimely end here. Sawyer choking the bastard out with pirate ship chains was fantastic, and former UGA attendee Josh Holloway was mesmerizing throughout. Terry O'Quinn was spectacular as usual. Other notes:
- What is Rousseau going to do with that dynamite? I think we haven't seen the last of it. And how awesome was the whole non-chalance of that scene with Locke and Rosseau?
- Did Locke's presence help Ben heal more quickly? And vice-versa? Or is it just the island in general?
- Remind me never to trust Kate with a secret. What the fuck? Why did she run immediately to tattle to Jack? And did Sayid know she was going to do this when he "trusted" her?
- I can't wait to see the beach confrontation when Sawyer returns with the tape recorder.
- What is the secret "we should tell her" that Jack and Juliet are keeping? Is Juliet a double-agent mole, who is actually working against Ben? And Jack knows this?
- Was Sayid digging something specific when Hurley came up to him?
- Is Richard Alpert sowing seeds of dissent within the Others camp?
- Does the big column that Locke's dad was chained to have anything to do with the four toed statue?
- Glad to see that Sawyer is still pissed about the "bunny trick."
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Welcome back, V!
After weeks of broadcasting single moms whoring up it (no thanks, CW. Had enough of that last year), the last place network finally returns quality to the tube with Veronica Mars. Though the plot and themes were a little heavy handed (not all Middle Eastern restaurateurs are terrorists! Underage drinking is bad!), Veronica is consistently one of the most quote-worthy shows this side of House.
First up, some Whodats?
Anthony Azizi, who played the dad/proprietor of Babylon Gardens, has played potential terrorists on two separate days of 24. He was also the history teacher Bree's daughter was banging on Desperate Housewives.
Jack McGee was the bar owner who bought enough raffle tickets to keep Sheriff Lamb off his case (RIP, Lamb). He's best known recently as the Chief on Rescue Me. (And did anyone catch the name of the police department softball team in that photo? "Excessive Force." Hee).
Finally, the graffiti victim who hired V, Carole (Raphaelle) Davis I instantly recognized from the final season Angel episode, "The Girl in Question." She played the head of Wolfram and Hart's Rome branch, with a notorious dislike for gypsies. ("Dirty tricks for dirty people. Like gypsies. (spit!) We will speak of them no more!")
As for the mysteries on this Very Special Episode (cue starburst and "more you know" rainbow), they were decent enough. Basically, the terrorism graffiti was not done by typical redneck bigots, but by the bigoted and undocumented cook who had a hankering for the owner's daughter (who loved a jewish boy! Montagues and Capulets, y'all!). Also, there was underage drinking going on near a college campus (Shock!). Keith writes some citations, and fires most of the deputies when they choose to let boys be boys and get their drink on with fake IDs.
On the interpersonal front, Logan seems to really like Parker and throws her a birthday party. Logan is much, much funnier when he's bitter or organizing bumfights. Parker is still annoying. Adorable Mac is still dating the animal rights nutbag, but gets cozy on the couch (the "social foxhole") with Max, who had his heart broken by a hooker. Dick goes to myspace to find dates (note the plural) for the party, "both eager to meet the Dickster." Even though he quotes The Big Lebowski ("the dude abides"), the gals team up to lock him in the ice machine alcove and ruin his dreams of a threesome. Finally, Wallace scolds V for leading poor Piz on and after she tells him the dreaded "I'm confused, and let's be friends." He finally mans up, plants one on her and makes a dramatic exit. Only to be stopped by the elevator. V catches him, and it would appear that "Pizonica" is on. Except for the fact that VM hasn't yet gotten a fourth season pick up, and even if it does, Chris Lowell is heading over to Grey's Anatomy 2.0: Whining, Betraying and Fucking in a Fertility Clinic.
But despite the civics lesson, the episode brought the quotage:
"He hates hate crimes."
"Keep up, Towelie."
A fantastic Pulp Fiction riff, featuring "say what again" and "check out the big brain on Brett!"
Mac and Logan taking an amusing stroll down teen movie plots.
"It's like I'm dating a young Omar Sharif. Desert Fever."
Fun with bad fake IDs: "This picture is Jon Bon Jovi." "Biggie Smalls? We don't really all look alike, Mr. Mars."
Good luck in the ratings, Veronica!
First up, some Whodats?
Anthony Azizi, who played the dad/proprietor of Babylon Gardens, has played potential terrorists on two separate days of 24. He was also the history teacher Bree's daughter was banging on Desperate Housewives.
Jack McGee was the bar owner who bought enough raffle tickets to keep Sheriff Lamb off his case (RIP, Lamb). He's best known recently as the Chief on Rescue Me. (And did anyone catch the name of the police department softball team in that photo? "Excessive Force." Hee).
Finally, the graffiti victim who hired V, Carole (Raphaelle) Davis I instantly recognized from the final season Angel episode, "The Girl in Question." She played the head of Wolfram and Hart's Rome branch, with a notorious dislike for gypsies. ("Dirty tricks for dirty people. Like gypsies. (spit!) We will speak of them no more!")
As for the mysteries on this Very Special Episode (cue starburst and "more you know" rainbow), they were decent enough. Basically, the terrorism graffiti was not done by typical redneck bigots, but by the bigoted and undocumented cook who had a hankering for the owner's daughter (who loved a jewish boy! Montagues and Capulets, y'all!). Also, there was underage drinking going on near a college campus (Shock!). Keith writes some citations, and fires most of the deputies when they choose to let boys be boys and get their drink on with fake IDs.
On the interpersonal front, Logan seems to really like Parker and throws her a birthday party. Logan is much, much funnier when he's bitter or organizing bumfights. Parker is still annoying. Adorable Mac is still dating the animal rights nutbag, but gets cozy on the couch (the "social foxhole") with Max, who had his heart broken by a hooker. Dick goes to myspace to find dates (note the plural) for the party, "both eager to meet the Dickster." Even though he quotes The Big Lebowski ("the dude abides"), the gals team up to lock him in the ice machine alcove and ruin his dreams of a threesome. Finally, Wallace scolds V for leading poor Piz on and after she tells him the dreaded "I'm confused, and let's be friends." He finally mans up, plants one on her and makes a dramatic exit. Only to be stopped by the elevator. V catches him, and it would appear that "Pizonica" is on. Except for the fact that VM hasn't yet gotten a fourth season pick up, and even if it does, Chris Lowell is heading over to Grey's Anatomy 2.0: Whining, Betraying and Fucking in a Fertility Clinic.
But despite the civics lesson, the episode brought the quotage:
"He hates hate crimes."
"Keep up, Towelie."
A fantastic Pulp Fiction riff, featuring "say what again" and "check out the big brain on Brett!"
Mac and Logan taking an amusing stroll down teen movie plots.
"It's like I'm dating a young Omar Sharif. Desert Fever."
Fun with bad fake IDs: "This picture is Jon Bon Jovi." "Biggie Smalls? We don't really all look alike, Mr. Mars."
Good luck in the ratings, Veronica!
"I've never listened to his music, but I seen him on Oprah"
Well, if that doesn't sum up the musical legacy of Bon Jovi, I'm not sure what does. (Thanks for the headline, Lakisha). Last night's Idol was "rock night" with Jon Bon Jovi and his keyboard player. Where was erstwhile guitarist Richie Sambora? Probably somewhere discussing nuclear physics with homewrecker Denise Richards. (Though I can't bag too much on Denise Richards. After all, she did give us "Wild Things" with Neve Campbell, particularly a scene that worked out the rewind, pause and slow mo buttons).
Congrats, America! After Idol's "telethon" last week, you completely wiped out poverty, disease and starvation. Now we can get back to more pressing matters, like televised karaoke.
Interesting note: last week there were a lot more votes than usual, because people care, y'all. And since last week's vote totals will be added to this week's, and two will go home, it would seem that good and bad performances from last week would count "more" towards staying or going than this week's. Probably good news for Jordin, bad news for Lakisha.
JBJ's top of the show advice was unique: "make it your own," said the star of Moonlight and Valentino, and Vampires: Los Muertos. Unbelievably, one of the Idols took that straight to heart.
Phil starts us off with "Blaze of Glory," a song from a movie where Kiefer Sutherland killed people much less efficiently than he does these days. JBJ said he had a "big voice for a big song." I don't know what it is with Phil. I seem to like him much more than most Idol pundits, and certainly more than Simon (with whom I usually agree). Maybe it's because I'm a fan of Buffy, Angel and other vampire lore, so I'm not disturbed by his Nosferatu appearance. Phil rocks the song out, hits the big notes and is really good.
One of my frontrunners (along with Melinda), Jordin, takes on stadium rock staple "Livin' on a Prayer." Not sure I buy Jordin's knowledge of "Tommy and Gina" and their union travails working on the dock. Not sure I buy her version of this song, either. Actually, it's a big hot mess. Jordin, who has been pretty unflappable crossing different genres, shits the bed here. Her vocals seem underpowered and the song just swallows her whole. I like her hair, though.
Lakisha finds a Bon Jovi song that isn't necessarily a "rocker," the soul-tinged "This Ain't a Love Song," and belts it out (she probably looked to see if Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard or any other Idols had recorded a Bon Jovi tune, but came up empty). She even appeared less than ornery in her moments with Seacrest before the shrieking begins. Sorry, I'm just not a Lakisha fan, and even though the judges fall all over themselves to praise her for this, it really did nothing for me. I start eagerly anticipating the return of Veronica Mars at this point. Lakisha, blessed with a big, bold voice, sings every song with the subtlety of a William Shatner Shakespeare festival and the personality of Sean Penn at a paparazzi convention. She's better this week than in previous weeks, but I don't know if that is gonna help her (I can only hope).
Every week Blake comes on, I dread the return of the goofy beatboxing. Spitting and trying to imitate Michael Winslow in the Police Academy movies isn't necessarily my idea of music. But you know what? Holy shit. Blake gives beatboxing a good name. Blake takes the anthemic "You Give Love a Bad Name" and really, truly "makes it his own." I don't think I've ever in all my Idol watching time, seen someone take a song and rework it so completely and do something so original with it. And it's not like "Bad Name" is something by Sinatra or The Beatles, so sacred and perfect as is that it shouldn't be tampered with. Against all better judgment and previous conceptions, I absolutely love this. He also manages to work in some straightforward "singing" through the middle of the song, to throw us non-beatboxers a bone and show us that he can carry a tune as well. I rewound it three times to watch it again. I'm astonished that I found this adventurous and bizarre take so compelling. Bravo, Blake. Bravo.
Chris Richardson comes out with "Wanted Dead or Alive." I watched Chris Daughtry. I listened to Chris Daughtry. And Chris Richardson, you're no Chris Daughtry. While Chris Richardson is not quite as nasal as usual (though he still tries to rock through his nose somewhat), this is about as "rock" as Vanilla Ice is "rap."
Melinda, who is nervous about performing a rock song, completely charms JBJ, who tells her to take "Have a Nice Day" to "church." In about 3 seconds flat, Melinda completely dismisses any concerns we might have had about her taking on a rock song. She growls, belts and sings her way through the the newer Bon Jovi song, and even has fun with it. She cozies up to the guitarist, hits every single note (as usual), and fiercely prowls the stage like Tina Turner with shorter legs and no neck. Outstanding (as usual).
Wow, Top 2 is tough to judge. It's definitely a choice between Melinda's and Phil's straightforward rock versions, and Blake's just beamed in from Alpha Centauri version. As much as I'm a (lonely) fan of Phil, I'll go with:
TNRLM's Top 2: Melinda, Blake
TNRLM's Bottom 2: Jordin, Chris
That's just for this week, of course. Cumulatively, I'd say the bottom 2 should be Lakisha and Chris, and if all is right with the world, that's who should be going home tonight (though I'm betting the teenyboppers who like ersatz Timberlake will keep nasal boy, and send Phil and Lakisha home).
Oh, and George W. Bush? Your thank you to America (and Bono!) for our charity was a little pitchy there, dawg. Laura had some yo factor, but in the end, you brought it home and made it your own.
Congrats, America! After Idol's "telethon" last week, you completely wiped out poverty, disease and starvation. Now we can get back to more pressing matters, like televised karaoke.
Interesting note: last week there were a lot more votes than usual, because people care, y'all. And since last week's vote totals will be added to this week's, and two will go home, it would seem that good and bad performances from last week would count "more" towards staying or going than this week's. Probably good news for Jordin, bad news for Lakisha.
JBJ's top of the show advice was unique: "make it your own," said the star of Moonlight and Valentino, and Vampires: Los Muertos. Unbelievably, one of the Idols took that straight to heart.
Phil starts us off with "Blaze of Glory," a song from a movie where Kiefer Sutherland killed people much less efficiently than he does these days. JBJ said he had a "big voice for a big song." I don't know what it is with Phil. I seem to like him much more than most Idol pundits, and certainly more than Simon (with whom I usually agree). Maybe it's because I'm a fan of Buffy, Angel and other vampire lore, so I'm not disturbed by his Nosferatu appearance. Phil rocks the song out, hits the big notes and is really good.
One of my frontrunners (along with Melinda), Jordin, takes on stadium rock staple "Livin' on a Prayer." Not sure I buy Jordin's knowledge of "Tommy and Gina" and their union travails working on the dock. Not sure I buy her version of this song, either. Actually, it's a big hot mess. Jordin, who has been pretty unflappable crossing different genres, shits the bed here. Her vocals seem underpowered and the song just swallows her whole. I like her hair, though.
Lakisha finds a Bon Jovi song that isn't necessarily a "rocker," the soul-tinged "This Ain't a Love Song," and belts it out (she probably looked to see if Kelly Clarkson, Ruben Studdard or any other Idols had recorded a Bon Jovi tune, but came up empty). She even appeared less than ornery in her moments with Seacrest before the shrieking begins. Sorry, I'm just not a Lakisha fan, and even though the judges fall all over themselves to praise her for this, it really did nothing for me. I start eagerly anticipating the return of Veronica Mars at this point. Lakisha, blessed with a big, bold voice, sings every song with the subtlety of a William Shatner Shakespeare festival and the personality of Sean Penn at a paparazzi convention. She's better this week than in previous weeks, but I don't know if that is gonna help her (I can only hope).
Every week Blake comes on, I dread the return of the goofy beatboxing. Spitting and trying to imitate Michael Winslow in the Police Academy movies isn't necessarily my idea of music. But you know what? Holy shit. Blake gives beatboxing a good name. Blake takes the anthemic "You Give Love a Bad Name" and really, truly "makes it his own." I don't think I've ever in all my Idol watching time, seen someone take a song and rework it so completely and do something so original with it. And it's not like "Bad Name" is something by Sinatra or The Beatles, so sacred and perfect as is that it shouldn't be tampered with. Against all better judgment and previous conceptions, I absolutely love this. He also manages to work in some straightforward "singing" through the middle of the song, to throw us non-beatboxers a bone and show us that he can carry a tune as well. I rewound it three times to watch it again. I'm astonished that I found this adventurous and bizarre take so compelling. Bravo, Blake. Bravo.
Chris Richardson comes out with "Wanted Dead or Alive." I watched Chris Daughtry. I listened to Chris Daughtry. And Chris Richardson, you're no Chris Daughtry. While Chris Richardson is not quite as nasal as usual (though he still tries to rock through his nose somewhat), this is about as "rock" as Vanilla Ice is "rap."
Melinda, who is nervous about performing a rock song, completely charms JBJ, who tells her to take "Have a Nice Day" to "church." In about 3 seconds flat, Melinda completely dismisses any concerns we might have had about her taking on a rock song. She growls, belts and sings her way through the the newer Bon Jovi song, and even has fun with it. She cozies up to the guitarist, hits every single note (as usual), and fiercely prowls the stage like Tina Turner with shorter legs and no neck. Outstanding (as usual).
Wow, Top 2 is tough to judge. It's definitely a choice between Melinda's and Phil's straightforward rock versions, and Blake's just beamed in from Alpha Centauri version. As much as I'm a (lonely) fan of Phil, I'll go with:
TNRLM's Top 2: Melinda, Blake
TNRLM's Bottom 2: Jordin, Chris
That's just for this week, of course. Cumulatively, I'd say the bottom 2 should be Lakisha and Chris, and if all is right with the world, that's who should be going home tonight (though I'm betting the teenyboppers who like ersatz Timberlake will keep nasal boy, and send Phil and Lakisha home).
Oh, and George W. Bush? Your thank you to America (and Bono!) for our charity was a little pitchy there, dawg. Laura had some yo factor, but in the end, you brought it home and made it your own.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
On The Wagon
No, not what you think. I've made a decision. For May sweeps, I'm turning over a new leaf. I'm giving up SPOILERS.
For as long as I've watched television and been connected to the interwebs, I've been a spoiler whore. (thankfully, that's the kind of whore rep you can magically shake). I can't tell you how many things I found out ahead of time. Buffy would die saving Dawn. Wes would die and Angel would fight a dragon. Darla would return from the dead. President Palmer would be shot. Michael would kill Ana-Lucia and Libby. The Ice Truck Killer would be Dexter's brother. Rose would leave The Doctor. President Petrelli in the future would really be Sylar. Johnny Gavin would get shot. Boomer would shoot Adama. Starbuck would return.
It's virtually impossible to keep spoilers off the net. How The Sopranos does it is simply amazing. (And how tense was that scene on the boat with Tony and Paulie, not knowing what would happen?) I've always told myself that even if I know what's coming, it doesn't diminish my enjoyment of the story because I still get to see HOW the surprise unfolds. And many times, I have a good idea of what's coming anyway, just because I've watched so much television and rarely are writers subtle about foreshadowing their "surprises." (in fact, one of the last times I can remember being truly, truly surprised was when Nina Myers killed Terri Bauer at the end of Season 1 of 24).
But I'm going to conduct an experiment for the last month of the 2007 TV season and go completely spoiler free. The only advance notice I'll expose myself to on upcoming shows will be the blurbs in the daily paper and the episode descriptions on the "to do list" for Tivo.
Occasionally, if I have a theory, I'll post it under the "speculation" tag, but I'm going to go cold turkey and see if the producers of some of my favorite shows can surprise me. This should be particularly interesting, given that Heroes and Lost, among other shows, seem primed to deliver some major shockers before the month is out.
For as long as I've watched television and been connected to the interwebs, I've been a spoiler whore. (thankfully, that's the kind of whore rep you can magically shake). I can't tell you how many things I found out ahead of time. Buffy would die saving Dawn. Wes would die and Angel would fight a dragon. Darla would return from the dead. President Palmer would be shot. Michael would kill Ana-Lucia and Libby. The Ice Truck Killer would be Dexter's brother. Rose would leave The Doctor. President Petrelli in the future would really be Sylar. Johnny Gavin would get shot. Boomer would shoot Adama. Starbuck would return.
It's virtually impossible to keep spoilers off the net. How The Sopranos does it is simply amazing. (And how tense was that scene on the boat with Tony and Paulie, not knowing what would happen?) I've always told myself that even if I know what's coming, it doesn't diminish my enjoyment of the story because I still get to see HOW the surprise unfolds. And many times, I have a good idea of what's coming anyway, just because I've watched so much television and rarely are writers subtle about foreshadowing their "surprises." (in fact, one of the last times I can remember being truly, truly surprised was when Nina Myers killed Terri Bauer at the end of Season 1 of 24).
But I'm going to conduct an experiment for the last month of the 2007 TV season and go completely spoiler free. The only advance notice I'll expose myself to on upcoming shows will be the blurbs in the daily paper and the episode descriptions on the "to do list" for Tivo.
Occasionally, if I have a theory, I'll post it under the "speculation" tag, but I'm going to go cold turkey and see if the producers of some of my favorite shows can surprise me. This should be particularly interesting, given that Heroes and Lost, among other shows, seem primed to deliver some major shockers before the month is out.
Failure to launch
Good article over on the always entertaining Onion AV Club about "failed attempts to start a franchise."
Some comments:
Buckaroo Banzai. I love this movie and even have it on DVD. It falls in with Big Trouble in Little China as a bizarro, comedic fusion of genres that is endlessly entertaining. There's much to love here, including the first time I remember the use of the phrase "no matter where you go, there you are," and the non-sequiter about the oddly placed watermelon. Peter Weller makes for a great lead as the rock star/neurosurgeon/presidential adviser/crime fighter of the title, and it's too bad the rights have been tied up in messy litigation, as this would make a spectacularly enjoyable cult television series.
The Rocketeer. Great pulp fun, and a throwback to the serials of yore.
Daredevil. I agree that Affleck wasn't a bad choice, and in the hands of another writer/director, it might not have been such a mess.
Dick Tracy. Beautifully done production values, mining the comic palette for a unique visual look, and a great score and music. Also, Madonna's high point as a actress.
Wing Commander. I'm embarrassed to say I actually watched this on HBO. Simply awful, but I tuned in for the always sexy Saffron Burrows.
The Phantom and The Shadow. Two movies that deserved a wider audience than they got. I love the pulp origins of both franchises, and both movies were respectfully handled and entertaining. The Phantom was the first time I saw Catherine Zeta Jones and went "wow! Who the hell is that?" and Alec Baldwin was a great choice as The Shadow. (And Johnathon Winters as the police chief? How cool is that?) Interesting tidbit: Sam Raimi loved The Shadow and tried diligently to get the rights. However, they turned the movie over to Russell Mulcahey (best known for directing Duran Duran videos) and Sam made do with his own creation, Darkman. Creating the ambiance and mood of a 30s/40s setting is probably difficult and cost-prohibitive, but I would love to see The Shadow as a regular TV show. Another similar property that I loved as a kid that would lend itself to a miniseries/TV show revival is Doc Savage.
Wild, Wild West. Another "wink/wink" high concept that should have been better executed. I'm a fan of Will Smith's talent, but he totally smugged and phoned his way through this one (probably understandable, given the mess of the plot and direction). And what was with the all the racist bullshit given to Dr. Loveless? A complete and total misfire. If you've ever watched An Evening with Kevin Smith, then you know about producer Jon Peters' fascination with "giant spiders" (he wanted to have Superman fight one. Smith's telling of this story is a classic) and he finally got his wish here. Not that it helped.
Some comments:
Buckaroo Banzai. I love this movie and even have it on DVD. It falls in with Big Trouble in Little China as a bizarro, comedic fusion of genres that is endlessly entertaining. There's much to love here, including the first time I remember the use of the phrase "no matter where you go, there you are," and the non-sequiter about the oddly placed watermelon. Peter Weller makes for a great lead as the rock star/neurosurgeon/presidential adviser/crime fighter of the title, and it's too bad the rights have been tied up in messy litigation, as this would make a spectacularly enjoyable cult television series.
The Rocketeer. Great pulp fun, and a throwback to the serials of yore.
Daredevil. I agree that Affleck wasn't a bad choice, and in the hands of another writer/director, it might not have been such a mess.
Dick Tracy. Beautifully done production values, mining the comic palette for a unique visual look, and a great score and music. Also, Madonna's high point as a actress.
Wing Commander. I'm embarrassed to say I actually watched this on HBO. Simply awful, but I tuned in for the always sexy Saffron Burrows.
The Phantom and The Shadow. Two movies that deserved a wider audience than they got. I love the pulp origins of both franchises, and both movies were respectfully handled and entertaining. The Phantom was the first time I saw Catherine Zeta Jones and went "wow! Who the hell is that?" and Alec Baldwin was a great choice as The Shadow. (And Johnathon Winters as the police chief? How cool is that?) Interesting tidbit: Sam Raimi loved The Shadow and tried diligently to get the rights. However, they turned the movie over to Russell Mulcahey (best known for directing Duran Duran videos) and Sam made do with his own creation, Darkman. Creating the ambiance and mood of a 30s/40s setting is probably difficult and cost-prohibitive, but I would love to see The Shadow as a regular TV show. Another similar property that I loved as a kid that would lend itself to a miniseries/TV show revival is Doc Savage.
Wild, Wild West. Another "wink/wink" high concept that should have been better executed. I'm a fan of Will Smith's talent, but he totally smugged and phoned his way through this one (probably understandable, given the mess of the plot and direction). And what was with the all the racist bullshit given to Dr. Loveless? A complete and total misfire. If you've ever watched An Evening with Kevin Smith, then you know about producer Jon Peters' fascination with "giant spiders" (he wanted to have Superman fight one. Smith's telling of this story is a classic) and he finally got his wish here. Not that it helped.
Monday, April 30, 2007
"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster at your side, kid."
Fun Star Wars personality Test here.
"Wonderful girl. Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her."
"Look, Your Worshipfulness, let's get one thing straight. I take orders from just one person: me!"
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Childhood crush tangentially responsible for blight on humanity
Remember Kim Richards? She's the blond, adorable, raspy-voiced actress who charmed kids everywhere (including me) playing "Tia" in the childhood classic Disney movie Escape to Witch Mountain. That the first real celebrity crush I remember having, and I was completely smitten. Richards later went on to roles in Diff'rent Strokes, Hello Larry and even tarted up to star opposite James Spader in Tuff Turf.
I was flipping channels today, and caught an old Magnum PI where she played a spoiled, self-absorbed tennis brat that Magnum had to protect in Robin Masters' pro-am tournament. So I googled her and discovered a horrifying fact. She is the aunt of vapid, worthless, wonky-eyed, morally bankrupt, talent and charisma-free walking STD Paris Hilton. Kim's older sister, Kathy Richards, married into the Hilton family and became Kathy Hilton, mother, who spawned Paris in Rosemary's Baby fashion.
Somehow, this knowledge forever taints a childhood memory.
I was flipping channels today, and caught an old Magnum PI where she played a spoiled, self-absorbed tennis brat that Magnum had to protect in Robin Masters' pro-am tournament. So I googled her and discovered a horrifying fact. She is the aunt of vapid, worthless, wonky-eyed, morally bankrupt, talent and charisma-free walking STD Paris Hilton. Kim's older sister, Kathy Richards, married into the Hilton family and became Kathy Hilton, mother, who spawned Paris in Rosemary's Baby fashion.
Somehow, this knowledge forever taints a childhood memory.
Whodat? (Shark)
Thursday's Shark had several recognizable faces.
Stacy Edwards played the abducted kid's mom. She's a frequent guest star, but I remember her most for her turn as the "victimized" deaf secretary in Neil LaBute's harrowing In the Company of Men.
Sherri Stringfield of ER fame was the opposing counsel.
Michelle Hurd was the shrink, and she was originally on Law and Order: SVU.
David Zayas was the PI the parents hired to find their missing kid. David is regularly seen as Angel on one of TV's best shows, Dexter.
As for the show itself, it was another enjoyable hour of scenery chewing from the estimable James Woods. But what was up with the daughter's b-plot? Huh? On one hand, I like the daughter because she's a good actress and serves to occasionally humanize the main character, but all this jell-o shooting and hidden weed seems out of character and her explanation for her behavior was just lame.
Even worse, DA Seven of Nine lost her campaign? Does this mean Jeri Ryan is leaving the show? Yikes, I hope not. Maybe the new incoming DA will be killed. Or Jessica will run for mayor.
Stacy Edwards played the abducted kid's mom. She's a frequent guest star, but I remember her most for her turn as the "victimized" deaf secretary in Neil LaBute's harrowing In the Company of Men.
Sherri Stringfield of ER fame was the opposing counsel.
Michelle Hurd was the shrink, and she was originally on Law and Order: SVU.
David Zayas was the PI the parents hired to find their missing kid. David is regularly seen as Angel on one of TV's best shows, Dexter.
As for the show itself, it was another enjoyable hour of scenery chewing from the estimable James Woods. But what was up with the daughter's b-plot? Huh? On one hand, I like the daughter because she's a good actress and serves to occasionally humanize the main character, but all this jell-o shooting and hidden weed seems out of character and her explanation for her behavior was just lame.
Even worse, DA Seven of Nine lost her campaign? Does this mean Jeri Ryan is leaving the show? Yikes, I hope not. Maybe the new incoming DA will be killed. Or Jessica will run for mayor.
The Canon: BSG Episode Rating-Palooza
Just like I did last week with Buffy, I'm offering up an episode ranking of TV's best current show, Battlestar Galactica. I used the same methodology and spreadsheets, so if you want to know more about that, revisit the Buffy post.
This is difficult, seeing as how I haven't seen the BSG eps nearly as many times as I have the Buffy eps, and don't yet have them on DVD (hey, birthday coming up. Hint, hint). And the series hasn't ended yet (thank the gods) so I'm sure at some point after the series is wrapped up, and I've seen them all mulitple times on a rewatch, I'll revisit these ratings and rankings.
A few notes:
Okay, on with the rankings.
Top 10 Episodes of Battlestar Galactica:
Due to ties, there are actually 11 here. First number is season/ep number, second number is my rating, third number is the ranking.
Seven of the eps are components two-parters. Not surprising, given the marvelous serialized storytelling. Three eps from S1, six from S2 and two from S3. The last one from S3, "Unfinished Business" is a controversial choice, as fans either loved or hated the episode centered around a shipboard boxing tournament, with plenty of angst devoted to the Starbuck/Apollo relationship. I wasn't a huge fan of that relationship either, but loved how that ep, despite its contrivances, examined the characters.
Just "missing the cut" rated with 9.5s were "Water," "You Can't Go Home Again," "Exodus Part 2" and "Crossroads Part 1."
Bottom 10 Episodes of Battlestar Galactica:
The bottom three should come as no surprise. "Black Market" is notable for it's incoherent "noir" plot involving Lee, who has an out of frakkin' nowhere "relationship" with a hooker named Shevon. And it wastes good performances by Jamie Bamber, Bill Duke and Richard Hatch. I was seriously worried about the direction of Season 3 after watching the back to back misfires of "The Woman King" and "A Day in the Life," but fortunately, the series rebounded in a major way to close strong. The eps above these in the ranking are not really "bad" per se (how is an 8.anything "bad?"), but simply not as strong as others in the series. With the exceptions of "Scattered" and "Fragged" the lower rated eps have typically come in the middle of S2 and S3, when the writers seemed to struggle telling stories after starting strong, and before planning to wrap up the season.
Season 1 is notable for its consistent quality, having produced only 13 episodes. Still, I'd rather suffer through the occasional "Black Market" and get 20 episodes in a season, rather than have less of this Emmy worthy (and Peabody winning) show to brighten (and darken) my world.
As always, if anyone wants to see the entire list or use the spreadsheets for their own evaluations, let me know.
This is difficult, seeing as how I haven't seen the BSG eps nearly as many times as I have the Buffy eps, and don't yet have them on DVD (hey, birthday coming up. Hint, hint). And the series hasn't ended yet (thank the gods) so I'm sure at some point after the series is wrapped up, and I've seen them all mulitple times on a rewatch, I'll revisit these ratings and rankings.
A few notes:
- Out of 54 produced eps (counting the miniseries as one), I've ranked 36 as a 9.0 or higher.
- There are only three -- three! -- that I would call "clunkers" and rated below 8.0. Faithful BSG watchers probably know before reading any further exactly which ones those are. As I've said before, I would rather watch "Black Market" over and over again for the rest of my life before subjecting myself to one hour of Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy or October Road.
- When there are only 54 episodes produced, the "bottom" rankings are kind of silly, especially considering the fact that there are only three I would consider subpar. And even in those, there is much to love.
Okay, on with the rankings.
Top 10 Episodes of Battlestar Galactica:
Due to ties, there are actually 11 here. First number is season/ep number, second number is my rating, third number is the ranking.
| 1.1 | 33 | 10.0 | 1 |
| 2.10 | Pegasus | 10.0 | 1 |
| 2.11 | Resurrection Ship, Part 1 | 10.0 | 1 |
| 2.20 | Lay Down Your Burdens, Part 2 | 9.9 | 4 |
| 1.13 | Kobol's Last Gleaming, Part 2 | 9.8 | 5 |
| 3.20 | Crossroads, Part 2 | 9.7 | 6 |
| 1.12 | Kobol's Last Gleaming, Part 1 | 9.6 | 7 |
| 2.7 | Home, Part 2 | 9.6 | 7 |
| 2.12 | Resurrection Ship, Part 2 | 9.6 | 7 |
| 2.18 | Downloaded | 9.6 | 7 |
| 3.9 | Unfinished Business | 9.6 | 7 |
Seven of the eps are components two-parters. Not surprising, given the marvelous serialized storytelling. Three eps from S1, six from S2 and two from S3. The last one from S3, "Unfinished Business" is a controversial choice, as fans either loved or hated the episode centered around a shipboard boxing tournament, with plenty of angst devoted to the Starbuck/Apollo relationship. I wasn't a huge fan of that relationship either, but loved how that ep, despite its contrivances, examined the characters.
Just "missing the cut" rated with 9.5s were "Water," "You Can't Go Home Again," "Exodus Part 2" and "Crossroads Part 1."
Bottom 10 Episodes of Battlestar Galactica:
| 2.3 | Fragged | 8.6 | 45 |
| 2.1 | Scattered | 8.5 | 46 |
| 2.16 | Sacrifice | 8.5 | 46 |
| 3.10 | The Passage | 8.5 | 46 |
| 3.16 | Dirty Hands | 8.4 | 49 |
| 2.13 | Epiphanies | 8.3 | 50 |
| 3.8 | Hero | 8.2 | 51 |
| 3.14 | The Woman King | 6.2 | 52 |
| 3.15 | A Day in the Life | 6.1 | 53 |
| 2.14 | Black Market | 6.0 | 54 |
The bottom three should come as no surprise. "Black Market" is notable for it's incoherent "noir" plot involving Lee, who has an out of frakkin' nowhere "relationship" with a hooker named Shevon. And it wastes good performances by Jamie Bamber, Bill Duke and Richard Hatch. I was seriously worried about the direction of Season 3 after watching the back to back misfires of "The Woman King" and "A Day in the Life," but fortunately, the series rebounded in a major way to close strong. The eps above these in the ranking are not really "bad" per se (how is an 8.anything "bad?"), but simply not as strong as others in the series. With the exceptions of "Scattered" and "Fragged" the lower rated eps have typically come in the middle of S2 and S3, when the writers seemed to struggle telling stories after starting strong, and before planning to wrap up the season.
Season 1 is notable for its consistent quality, having produced only 13 episodes. Still, I'd rather suffer through the occasional "Black Market" and get 20 episodes in a season, rather than have less of this Emmy worthy (and Peabody winning) show to brighten (and darken) my world.
As always, if anyone wants to see the entire list or use the spreadsheets for their own evaluations, let me know.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Whodat, Geekiness and Happy Endings
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Just Brilliant
An excerpt from Christopher Hitchens' new book can be found here. Should be required reading. And he says what I've tried to say many times, though with far more erudition and eloquence, and more philosophical references.
Drive Post Mortem
Another Tim Minear show on on FOX, another cancellation. For those keeping score at home, Drive follows on the heels of Firefly, Wonderfalls and The Inside. Wonderful shows all, with a rich tapestry of characters, outstanding performances and delicious scripts. But the bottom line is this: they're "cult" shows.
Here's what I don't understand. Supposedly, FOX signed Minear to a large holding deal to have him develop and run shows for them. What exactly in Minear's past led them to believe that he would develop anything other than a cult show? I'm a huge Minear fan -- a member of the "cult" as it were -- but there's nothing about the four shows mentioned above that says "huge mainstream breakout hit" to me. Lost and Heroes (and previously, The X-Files after airing consistently for several years) are the exception rather than the rule for intricately plotted, exceptionally crafted shows achieving some semblance of mainstream ratings success. FOX has shown no desire to put up with low ratings to achieve some measure of critical acclaim. FOX is in the business to make money and garner viewers (and more quickly than ever), and Minear's shows, no matter how beloved and well done, simply don't do that for them on a large enough scale.
You could legitimately complain that shows before Drive got the shaft from promotion or network meddling. Firefly famously was aired out of order, pushed to create a "simple action story" instead of the richly created two hour pilot, and was a tough sell anyway (fusion of reconstructionist western and sci-fi?). Wonderfalls and The Inside received little to no promotion and got yanked quickly. But I will say this for Drive: FOX did their damndest to promote it, with a few caveats. Personally, here's what I would have done:
But all that is hindsight, and Drive is still garaged. We'll see the two episodes produced burned off this summer, hopefully. Which brings us back to Minear and his deal with FOX. I can't imagine them collaborating on another enterprise to be scuttled on the rocks of middling ratings on the FOX mothership network. Why don't they have him develop a show for FX? FX is home to superlative dramas like Rescue Me, The Shield and Nip/Tuck (and interesting experiments like Over There and Dirt) that don't require 10 million viewers to sustain life. 2 to 3 million viewers on FX is easily doable, with a devoted fanbase and critical praise. At the very least, even if it's a "one season and done" situation airing between 6 to 13 episodes (like Thief, and probably Dirt) at least you'll air all the episodes and give it a fair chance to attract attention and build an audience. In a fairly low risk environment. With all the location shooting and expensive SFX, Drive was probably too costly to follow this route, but The Inside and Wonderfalls would have been a perfect fit. I could have even deeply appreciated a "scaled back" Drive, with fewer nifty camera tricks and highway racing shots, and more low cost character development.
Time will tell what's next for Minear and FOX, but I hope they use what's left of their partnership to craft solid "singles" and "doubles" with lowered expectations, rather than looking for the "home run" on a huge stage that's all or nothing -- and frequently "nothing" for viewers who appreciate quality TV only to have it yanked out from under them.
EDITED TO ADD:
Apparently, FX just renewed Dirt and The Riches (which I've Tivod, but not yet watched). This article makes clear what I was suggesting above: success in an environment with lower expectations, and there will probably be an opening in the schedule when The Shield retires -- perfect fit for Minear crafted show.
Here's what I don't understand. Supposedly, FOX signed Minear to a large holding deal to have him develop and run shows for them. What exactly in Minear's past led them to believe that he would develop anything other than a cult show? I'm a huge Minear fan -- a member of the "cult" as it were -- but there's nothing about the four shows mentioned above that says "huge mainstream breakout hit" to me. Lost and Heroes (and previously, The X-Files after airing consistently for several years) are the exception rather than the rule for intricately plotted, exceptionally crafted shows achieving some semblance of mainstream ratings success. FOX has shown no desire to put up with low ratings to achieve some measure of critical acclaim. FOX is in the business to make money and garner viewers (and more quickly than ever), and Minear's shows, no matter how beloved and well done, simply don't do that for them on a large enough scale.
You could legitimately complain that shows before Drive got the shaft from promotion or network meddling. Firefly famously was aired out of order, pushed to create a "simple action story" instead of the richly created two hour pilot, and was a tough sell anyway (fusion of reconstructionist western and sci-fi?). Wonderfalls and The Inside received little to no promotion and got yanked quickly. But I will say this for Drive: FOX did their damndest to promote it, with a few caveats. Personally, here's what I would have done:
- In addition to the high energy promos, I would have sprinkled in lots of blurbs from prominent critics. There are plenty of noteworthy print and online critics who adored the show, and showing their acceptance and praise before the show even aired couldn't have hurt.
- I would have aired the pilot -- in one hour form -- immediately after American Idol. Idol is the only true ratings juggernaut that FOX has, along with House, with already airs after Idol. (And if you'll recall, House languished in the ratings for many episodes before they used an Idol lead in to encourage sampling and build it into the top 10 show that it is currently). Maybe air the first 3 or 4 episodes behind Idol, THEN move it to the pre-24 slot on Mondays.
- By making the pilot one hour, post-Idol, you would have encouraged more people to view it. With serialized shows, folks have the tendency to think "oh shit, this is complicated. I've already missed too much to jump in." By airing three hours of the show over two nights, by the time it gets any critical reception, watercooler chat, word of mouth or buzz, viewers feel like the ship has sailed and they can't catch up.
But all that is hindsight, and Drive is still garaged. We'll see the two episodes produced burned off this summer, hopefully. Which brings us back to Minear and his deal with FOX. I can't imagine them collaborating on another enterprise to be scuttled on the rocks of middling ratings on the FOX mothership network. Why don't they have him develop a show for FX? FX is home to superlative dramas like Rescue Me, The Shield and Nip/Tuck (and interesting experiments like Over There and Dirt) that don't require 10 million viewers to sustain life. 2 to 3 million viewers on FX is easily doable, with a devoted fanbase and critical praise. At the very least, even if it's a "one season and done" situation airing between 6 to 13 episodes (like Thief, and probably Dirt) at least you'll air all the episodes and give it a fair chance to attract attention and build an audience. In a fairly low risk environment. With all the location shooting and expensive SFX, Drive was probably too costly to follow this route, but The Inside and Wonderfalls would have been a perfect fit. I could have even deeply appreciated a "scaled back" Drive, with fewer nifty camera tricks and highway racing shots, and more low cost character development.
Time will tell what's next for Minear and FOX, but I hope they use what's left of their partnership to craft solid "singles" and "doubles" with lowered expectations, rather than looking for the "home run" on a huge stage that's all or nothing -- and frequently "nothing" for viewers who appreciate quality TV only to have it yanked out from under them.
EDITED TO ADD:
Apparently, FX just renewed Dirt and The Riches (which I've Tivod, but not yet watched). This article makes clear what I was suggesting above: success in an environment with lower expectations, and there will probably be an opening in the schedule when The Shield retires -- perfect fit for Minear crafted show.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Breaking News: the viewing public sucks again.
The well-crafted, intriguing, fantastically acted and thrilling Drive has been cancelled by FOX.
You can't say that FOX didn't promote it. (though I would have preferred a one hour premiere after American Idol). You can't say that it didn't deliver the goods. Sad news for everyone working on the show, and sad news for viewers who appreciate quality television.
Fuck.
You can't say that FOX didn't promote it. (though I would have preferred a one hour premiere after American Idol). You can't say that it didn't deliver the goods. Sad news for everyone working on the show, and sad news for viewers who appreciate quality television.
Fuck.
Making it rain, entertainment style
Whereby we throw up a bunch of $1 entertainment nuggets onto the stage and see which STDs take them home.
Rosie O'Donnell is leaving The View. Now, they'll have to rely on Elisabeth Hasselbeck for cogent political commentary. And Donald Trump can focus on the dwindling ratings for his reality train wreck. An Rosie can work with Michael Moore and Oliver Stone on a movie about how the Illuminati, the Shriners, George Bush and David Stern (and his frozen envelope) were responsible for 9/11, Sanjaya and a faked moon landing.
Heather Mills and her leg got "booted" from Dancing with the Stars. Poor thing. Now she'll just have to worry about scraping by on the royalties from Sgt. Pepper. Which I've heard that she didn't write or sing on, either. Weird how that works.
The unevenly hysterical Robot Chicken is taking on Star Wars. With the blessing of the big kahuna himself.
Some 18 year old single mother named "Asia" will now take her place of honor alongside the other role models for for today's young women as the next "Pussycat Doll." That's just fantastic. I'm sure her kid will be so proud, and use her as a reference when she takes the pole in a few years. The silver lining to this whoreathon being over? Veronica Mars returns next week!
Is there something on the Lifetime network that I would watch? Possibly so.
Rosie O'Donnell is leaving The View. Now, they'll have to rely on Elisabeth Hasselbeck for cogent political commentary. And Donald Trump can focus on the dwindling ratings for his reality train wreck. An Rosie can work with Michael Moore and Oliver Stone on a movie about how the Illuminati, the Shriners, George Bush and David Stern (and his frozen envelope) were responsible for 9/11, Sanjaya and a faked moon landing.
Heather Mills and her leg got "booted" from Dancing with the Stars. Poor thing. Now she'll just have to worry about scraping by on the royalties from Sgt. Pepper. Which I've heard that she didn't write or sing on, either. Weird how that works.
The unevenly hysterical Robot Chicken is taking on Star Wars. With the blessing of the big kahuna himself.
Some 18 year old single mother named "Asia" will now take her place of honor alongside the other role models for for today's young women as the next "Pussycat Doll." That's just fantastic. I'm sure her kid will be so proud, and use her as a reference when she takes the pole in a few years. The silver lining to this whoreathon being over? Veronica Mars returns next week!
Is there something on the Lifetime network that I would watch? Possibly so.
Charity doesn't have to hurt. If you have a Tivo.
Okay, blah, blah, blah, charity. Yes, the corporate monolith that is American Idol is either A. raising awareness and money for very good causes, or B. cynically wrapping themselves in a noble pursuit and extorting money from their sponsors to give the show and cultural phenomon a patina of relevance and selflessness. You decide. I know there are problems in the world. I also know there's a fast forward button on my Tivo, so we'll be skipping right past the heartstring tugging vignettes and moving right on to the performances.
When I first heard we were going do hear "life anthems" or "songs of inspiration," my head immediately began to hurt, as I thought we would be subjected to treacly nonsense about "hope" and "dreams." There was some of that, but mercifully, the song choices (and oddly, performances) weren't that bad, and consistently showcased some talent. I don't know if it's because the anchor that was Sanjaya is gone from the show, but all the vocalists came to play tonight. Some, more successfully than others. (And didn't Ryan mention Bono as a mentor in the opening? Was he supposed to help the singers deliver these life anthems? Or perhaps he was just going to give a tutorial on how to live like a rock start while criticizing the government?) Anyway, on with the show.
Chris started us off with Eric Clapton's "You Can Change the World." Definitely one of my least favorite Clapton songs, but certainly less maudlin than "Tears in Heaven." And I don't think this was the "nasally" Eric was talking about in one of his better songs, "Cocaine." But I'm surprised that Mr. Proboscis Vocal doesn't completely butcher the song, and I find myself tapping my foot along with his uptempo rendition. Definitely the most I've enjoyed a Chris song.
Melinda followed with another of her "master classes" on a Faith Hill number, "There Will Come a Day." What can we say at this point? She's clearly the best overall vocalist on the show (followed closely by a surging Jordin) and is more comfortable performing and taking deserved praise. She even looks better and should skate clearly to the finals. The only complaint I have with this version is that it begged to have a gospel spin on it, and of all people, I thought Mindy Doo would go that way. I felt a little like I was in church, but not in a good way, as in the James Brown as preacher scene in The Blues Brothers. Still, fantastic job from Melinda (again).
Blake thankfully left the beatboxing backstage again to tackle John Lennon's "Imagine." Now, don't get me wrong. I love, love, love the Beatles and much of Lennon's solo output. He's one of the best songwriters of all time (with his parnter, now known for being the gold-digging target of a legless dancer), and his vocals are often clear and sublime. But though "Imagine" is a hopeful song with a clear, simple medoly, it's a bit, well, simple. And superciliously saccharine, if you really think about it. Blake gives a poker faced performance, and leaves all his "isms" behind. The best thing about the vocal is that he (finally) projects sincerity, which Paula pointed out. (And is it just me, or is Paula bewilderingly lucid and observant this year?). Decent, but just not enough game raising to matter much or stand out from the rest of the performers tonight.
Lakisha comes out and screeches, belts and yells her way through Fantasia's "I Believe." Didn't she learn last week when slaughtering a former Idol? It's a typical Lakisha performance. She scowls. She screams. She hits big notes. She completely eschews all subtlety. Simon tells the audience "will you just shut up?" when trying to offer a critique, but he could have just as well been talking to Lakisha.
Phil takes last week's reprieve from the gallows to heart, and tackles a country song, Garth Brooks' "The Change." On one hand, it's a confident and personal vocal and much more in his wheelhouse, but oddly, he doesn't give it the "twang" it needs. He's okay, but I've liked him much better in previous weeks.
Jordin closes out the show with a showstopping "You'll Never Walk Alone." It's an old Rogers and Hammerstein tune, I think, and lyrically a bit simple and obvious. But Jordin's vocals and sincerity delivering the tune were simply outstanding. The only critique I could give was with her breathing technique, as we heard several "inhales" over the mic that sounded like me smoking while working the elliptical machine. Still, Jordin has proven herself the most versatile and appealing of the contestants, if a close second only to Melinda in vocal prowess. She's great, and, barring some huge mistake, should track to the finals with Melinda.
From here on out, I'll go to a "top 2 and bottom 2" for my evaluations, since there are only 6 performers left.
TNRLM's Top 2: Melinda, Jordin
TNRLM's Bottom 2: Blake, Lakisha
Tomorrow, the ridiculously bloated one hour results show expands to TWO FUCKING HOURS so various celebs can perform and make us all feel special that we have chicken nuggets, air conditioning and satellite TV. I'll liberally use the "skip" button on the Tivo, but still try to find a gold lining in that no matter how ham-handed and shamelessly self serving this "Idol Gives Back" pap is, there will actually be millions of dollars going to folks who may need it. And at the end of the day, that isn't so bad, is it?
When I first heard we were going do hear "life anthems" or "songs of inspiration," my head immediately began to hurt, as I thought we would be subjected to treacly nonsense about "hope" and "dreams." There was some of that, but mercifully, the song choices (and oddly, performances) weren't that bad, and consistently showcased some talent. I don't know if it's because the anchor that was Sanjaya is gone from the show, but all the vocalists came to play tonight. Some, more successfully than others. (And didn't Ryan mention Bono as a mentor in the opening? Was he supposed to help the singers deliver these life anthems? Or perhaps he was just going to give a tutorial on how to live like a rock start while criticizing the government?) Anyway, on with the show.
Chris started us off with Eric Clapton's "You Can Change the World." Definitely one of my least favorite Clapton songs, but certainly less maudlin than "Tears in Heaven." And I don't think this was the "nasally" Eric was talking about in one of his better songs, "Cocaine." But I'm surprised that Mr. Proboscis Vocal doesn't completely butcher the song, and I find myself tapping my foot along with his uptempo rendition. Definitely the most I've enjoyed a Chris song.
Melinda followed with another of her "master classes" on a Faith Hill number, "There Will Come a Day." What can we say at this point? She's clearly the best overall vocalist on the show (followed closely by a surging Jordin) and is more comfortable performing and taking deserved praise. She even looks better and should skate clearly to the finals. The only complaint I have with this version is that it begged to have a gospel spin on it, and of all people, I thought Mindy Doo would go that way. I felt a little like I was in church, but not in a good way, as in the James Brown as preacher scene in The Blues Brothers. Still, fantastic job from Melinda (again).
Blake thankfully left the beatboxing backstage again to tackle John Lennon's "Imagine." Now, don't get me wrong. I love, love, love the Beatles and much of Lennon's solo output. He's one of the best songwriters of all time (with his parnter, now known for being the gold-digging target of a legless dancer), and his vocals are often clear and sublime. But though "Imagine" is a hopeful song with a clear, simple medoly, it's a bit, well, simple. And superciliously saccharine, if you really think about it. Blake gives a poker faced performance, and leaves all his "isms" behind. The best thing about the vocal is that he (finally) projects sincerity, which Paula pointed out. (And is it just me, or is Paula bewilderingly lucid and observant this year?). Decent, but just not enough game raising to matter much or stand out from the rest of the performers tonight.
Lakisha comes out and screeches, belts and yells her way through Fantasia's "I Believe." Didn't she learn last week when slaughtering a former Idol? It's a typical Lakisha performance. She scowls. She screams. She hits big notes. She completely eschews all subtlety. Simon tells the audience "will you just shut up?" when trying to offer a critique, but he could have just as well been talking to Lakisha.
Phil takes last week's reprieve from the gallows to heart, and tackles a country song, Garth Brooks' "The Change." On one hand, it's a confident and personal vocal and much more in his wheelhouse, but oddly, he doesn't give it the "twang" it needs. He's okay, but I've liked him much better in previous weeks.
Jordin closes out the show with a showstopping "You'll Never Walk Alone." It's an old Rogers and Hammerstein tune, I think, and lyrically a bit simple and obvious. But Jordin's vocals and sincerity delivering the tune were simply outstanding. The only critique I could give was with her breathing technique, as we heard several "inhales" over the mic that sounded like me smoking while working the elliptical machine. Still, Jordin has proven herself the most versatile and appealing of the contestants, if a close second only to Melinda in vocal prowess. She's great, and, barring some huge mistake, should track to the finals with Melinda.
From here on out, I'll go to a "top 2 and bottom 2" for my evaluations, since there are only 6 performers left.
TNRLM's Top 2: Melinda, Jordin
TNRLM's Bottom 2: Blake, Lakisha
Tomorrow, the ridiculously bloated one hour results show expands to TWO FUCKING HOURS so various celebs can perform and make us all feel special that we have chicken nuggets, air conditioning and satellite TV. I'll liberally use the "skip" button on the Tivo, but still try to find a gold lining in that no matter how ham-handed and shamelessly self serving this "Idol Gives Back" pap is, there will actually be millions of dollars going to folks who may need it. And at the end of the day, that isn't so bad, is it?
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Letting Jack Bauer and Tony Soprano raise your kids
Here's a fun and thought-provoking article I found on CHUD, regarding yet another possible governmental intrusion into our lives.
I've long gotten my hackles raised by the government attempting to "regulate" what is and isn't "good for you." A perfect example of this is the seatbelt law. Ever since I started driving, I've always worn a seatbelt. Why? Because it's common sense. If you get in an accident, you don't want to go flying through the windshield. However, if I choose not to wear a seatbelt, then don't I deserve what I get? And wouldn't this just be a Darwinian thinning of the heard, anyway, and benefit society? Has anyone ever been harmed by a body flying out of another car, through their own windshield, through my windshield, and into me? Wouldn't they be julienned by the time they got through both windshields and into my car? Other than the mess, who the hell would care?
So here we have a potential situation where some holier than thou politician will probably take this up as a "cause," and seek to eliminate "violence" from TV during main viewing hours. Will Jack Bauer (assuming he shows up regularly on his own show again, BTW) just use harsh language and mild discomfort to extract the location of the nukes? Will Tony Soprano just "ground" a capo who is disloyal? Will Sayid's backstory really have him being simply a sous chef? Will the gang on CSI or at the Jeffersonian just look at computer screens for 44 minutes? Was Aaron Sorkin really on to something (other than the devil's nose candy) when he offered us a ridiculous storyline about the nightly news being fined millions because a soldier blurted out a "bad word" when dodging missiles? If this potential censorship didn't seem like something some asshat in Washington might latch onto and champion, with a big "booyah!" from the snake-handling and carelessly breeding masses, then I would probably just let it pass with a chuckle, and go back to reading Orwell.
But the sad part is, many "parents" want the government and the producers of entertainment to wipe their ass, and their kids' asses, for them. If you're concerned about the corrupting influence of television violence on your kids, here are a few tips:
The writer of the CHUD article sums it up nicely for parents: do your fucking job.
Granted, I don't know a lot about this whole "parenting" thing, as I only did it for less than a year, in the "special guest star" role of gold-digging target in a surrealistic nightmare. And the kids were handicapped from the beginning, given the genetic material they were working from (tax-evading, college drop out, criminal dirtbag and drugged out, college flunk out, town whore). But really, isn't a lot of this pure common sense? Watch what the kids do. Keep tabs on what they watch and who they hang around with. Monitor where they go on the interwebs. Talk to them. Have a conversation. Understand what "message" they're taking from the media they're exposed to. Clearly draw the division between "life" and "art." (Though in my case, it probably took more time to explain that the denizens of the Bada Bing weren't actually their parents and extended family). But it seems pretty simple, doesn't it? Still, it's difficult when the actual parents define responsible child-rearing to include:
So some parents have a more difficult mission ahead of them than others. But is limiting the number of bodies that Gil Grissom can find or that Sylar can leave in his wake really going to matter in the big picture? If you choose to put yourself in this situation, or even if you find yourself in this situation, the solution to the "corrupting influence of television" is crystal clear. Do Your Fucking Job.
I've long gotten my hackles raised by the government attempting to "regulate" what is and isn't "good for you." A perfect example of this is the seatbelt law. Ever since I started driving, I've always worn a seatbelt. Why? Because it's common sense. If you get in an accident, you don't want to go flying through the windshield. However, if I choose not to wear a seatbelt, then don't I deserve what I get? And wouldn't this just be a Darwinian thinning of the heard, anyway, and benefit society? Has anyone ever been harmed by a body flying out of another car, through their own windshield, through my windshield, and into me? Wouldn't they be julienned by the time they got through both windshields and into my car? Other than the mess, who the hell would care?
So here we have a potential situation where some holier than thou politician will probably take this up as a "cause," and seek to eliminate "violence" from TV during main viewing hours. Will Jack Bauer (assuming he shows up regularly on his own show again, BTW) just use harsh language and mild discomfort to extract the location of the nukes? Will Tony Soprano just "ground" a capo who is disloyal? Will Sayid's backstory really have him being simply a sous chef? Will the gang on CSI or at the Jeffersonian just look at computer screens for 44 minutes? Was Aaron Sorkin really on to something (other than the devil's nose candy) when he offered us a ridiculous storyline about the nightly news being fined millions because a soldier blurted out a "bad word" when dodging missiles? If this potential censorship didn't seem like something some asshat in Washington might latch onto and champion, with a big "booyah!" from the snake-handling and carelessly breeding masses, then I would probably just let it pass with a chuckle, and go back to reading Orwell.
But the sad part is, many "parents" want the government and the producers of entertainment to wipe their ass, and their kids' asses, for them. If you're concerned about the corrupting influence of television violence on your kids, here are a few tips:
- Don't fuck. Don't have kids in the first place if you don't want the responsibility.
- If you do choose to breed, how about monitoring what your kids watch? Virtually every set top box from DirecTV or cable allows you to block channels or password protect them. Or, go a step further, and actually get involved in their lives. If you don't have the time for this, remember step 1, and the words from the theme song to Baretta: "don't do the crime if you can't do the time."
- If your IQ is so low that you might be influenced by what you see on TV, don't breed with someone of similar intellectual deficiencies. Your kids will have a better chance of developing the cognitive abilities to realize what happens on the screen or in the pages of a comic book is just entertainment.
- If you must watch violent TV shows with your urchins, have a conversation with them and explain the "context." I was very young when I watched "High Plains Drifter" and "The Dirty Dozen" with my dad, but didn't go out and gun down local townspeople or Germans. Nor did I run out into the street and decide to behead ugly kids that looked like Orcs because I read the Lord of the Rings.
The writer of the CHUD article sums it up nicely for parents: do your fucking job.
Granted, I don't know a lot about this whole "parenting" thing, as I only did it for less than a year, in the "special guest star" role of gold-digging target in a surrealistic nightmare. And the kids were handicapped from the beginning, given the genetic material they were working from (tax-evading, college drop out, criminal dirtbag and drugged out, college flunk out, town whore). But really, isn't a lot of this pure common sense? Watch what the kids do. Keep tabs on what they watch and who they hang around with. Monitor where they go on the interwebs. Talk to them. Have a conversation. Understand what "message" they're taking from the media they're exposed to. Clearly draw the division between "life" and "art." (Though in my case, it probably took more time to explain that the denizens of the Bada Bing weren't actually their parents and extended family). But it seems pretty simple, doesn't it? Still, it's difficult when the actual parents define responsible child-rearing to include:
- Buying drop from the kids' grandmother.
- Have the kids watch DVDs or go play in the yard so you can fire up a spleef in the bathroom.
- Send the kids off for a weekend with a jailbird and his parents, who also happen to be harboring a fugitive from the law (their uncle!)
- Point the kids to the pop-tarts and bus stop so you don't have to be bothered waking up from your drug and booze addled state until close to lunchtime.
- Teaching the children the best method for conflict resolution: lying, cheating and running away.
- Showing them fiscal responsibility by living off the government teet, stiffing legitimate creditors, always moving one step ahead of the bill collectors and fucking your way to a better lifestyle.
- Making sure they learn to love the mistress as "mom."
- Viewing self-sufficiency, cleaning up after yourself, making good grades and personal responsibility as onerous anchors that drag you down.
- Letting somebody else take care of the kids, because you'd rather be chasing hippy stoner bands all around town, squeezing into outfits that would make Paris Hilton blush, smoking dope in the parking lot and dancing, er, grinding on strangers until they feel compelled to slip you a sawbuck. Or another in a long line of random cocks.
So some parents have a more difficult mission ahead of them than others. But is limiting the number of bodies that Gil Grissom can find or that Sylar can leave in his wake really going to matter in the big picture? If you choose to put yourself in this situation, or even if you find yourself in this situation, the solution to the "corrupting influence of television" is crystal clear. Do Your Fucking Job.
The .07% Solution
Heroes was back last night after a long, long hiatus, and delivered a very good episode.
Linderman wants to let someone (are we sure it's Peter?) blow up New York, to unite the world behind a strong President. After all, it's only .07% of the population, and since it would include the Mets, Isaiah Thomas and Jeremy Shockey, I'm all for the idea. Peter seems to warm to the idea after, after watching Linderman heal a plant. (Maybe he thinks Linderman can make his wife walk again, and stop pining after Jack Bauer?). Oh, and Alan Moore and "Watchmen" called, and want their plot back.
HRG mentally guides Matt and Unabomber lookalike Ted in an escape from Primatech paper and to a diner, where Matt finally realizes that HG is "middle management." Hee.
Sylar and Peter have a mini-throwdown, complete with great special effects on glass projectiles. Sylar is awesome when he realizes Peter can turn invisible and decides he wants that power, too. Peter evidences questionable strategic skills after being invisible, by simply standing in the same spot he was in before, and TURNING HIS BACK to the psychotic, loony killer and getting a large shard in the back of his head. Somehow, Sylar escapes, Mohinder recovers (and neither one killed the other while one or both were incapacitated) and finds a cabbie who doesn't mind dragging corpses all over New York.
Claire gets some fuzzy exposition from her grandmother, who doesn't explain why her earlobes are so large. Maybe that's her superpower. Claire also remembers that sharp objects stuck into the brain limit the regeneration process and pulls the glass out of Peter's head, leading to a bizarre Petrelli family reunion. Best line: Nathan, to Claire, about Mama Petrelli: "She warms up. Sort of."
Candace imitates Claire and Jessica, but still looks best dressed in her own threads like a horny catholic schoolgirl.
Isaac gets crucified by paintbrushes and has his brains absorbed, but not before cartooning the way to kill Sylar and sending it the comics. Sylar doesn't draw as well as Isaac, though, and paints Nathan looking green in the oval office. (Maybe like Bush the elder at one of those Japanese state dinners?)
Hiro and Ando go into the future and meet "another" Hiro, and my head hurts when I contemplate time travel stories.
Welcome back Heroes! B+
Linderman wants to let someone (are we sure it's Peter?) blow up New York, to unite the world behind a strong President. After all, it's only .07% of the population, and since it would include the Mets, Isaiah Thomas and Jeremy Shockey, I'm all for the idea. Peter seems to warm to the idea after, after watching Linderman heal a plant. (Maybe he thinks Linderman can make his wife walk again, and stop pining after Jack Bauer?). Oh, and Alan Moore and "Watchmen" called, and want their plot back.
HRG mentally guides Matt and Unabomber lookalike Ted in an escape from Primatech paper and to a diner, where Matt finally realizes that HG is "middle management." Hee.
Sylar and Peter have a mini-throwdown, complete with great special effects on glass projectiles. Sylar is awesome when he realizes Peter can turn invisible and decides he wants that power, too. Peter evidences questionable strategic skills after being invisible, by simply standing in the same spot he was in before, and TURNING HIS BACK to the psychotic, loony killer and getting a large shard in the back of his head. Somehow, Sylar escapes, Mohinder recovers (and neither one killed the other while one or both were incapacitated) and finds a cabbie who doesn't mind dragging corpses all over New York.
Claire gets some fuzzy exposition from her grandmother, who doesn't explain why her earlobes are so large. Maybe that's her superpower. Claire also remembers that sharp objects stuck into the brain limit the regeneration process and pulls the glass out of Peter's head, leading to a bizarre Petrelli family reunion. Best line: Nathan, to Claire, about Mama Petrelli: "She warms up. Sort of."
Candace imitates Claire and Jessica, but still looks best dressed in her own threads like a horny catholic schoolgirl.
Isaac gets crucified by paintbrushes and has his brains absorbed, but not before cartooning the way to kill Sylar and sending it the comics. Sylar doesn't draw as well as Isaac, though, and paints Nathan looking green in the oval office. (Maybe like Bush the elder at one of those Japanese state dinners?)
Hiro and Ando go into the future and meet "another" Hiro, and my head hurts when I contemplate time travel stories.
Welcome back Heroes! B+
Blown the transmission
Bad news. The American viewing public continues to demonstrate their idiocy. From Media Week:
Second in the 8 p.m. hour behind Dancing With the Stars was NBC’s Deal or No Deal at a 7.1/11 in the overnights. Next were CBS comedies How I Met Your Mother (4.3/ 7), which was a repeat, and The New Adventures of Old Christine (5.1/ 8), followed by Fox’s struggling Drive (3.3/ 5), and CW comedies Everybody Hates Chris (2.1/ 3) and All of Us (1.8/ 3). One week earlier, Drive debuted in the time period with a 3.7/ 6. See you in the loser’s circle, Drive.
Sigh. Deal or No Deal? Doubling the audience for Drive? You're kidding right? As Liz Lemon would say: "Blurgh!!!"
We'll probably (hopefully!) see the remaining two episodes filmed and produced, before Drive joins the long, lamented list of "brilliant but cancelled." Fuck you, lowbrow Nielsen families, and just for good measure, fuck you Howie Mandel.
Second in the 8 p.m. hour behind Dancing With the Stars was NBC’s Deal or No Deal at a 7.1/11 in the overnights. Next were CBS comedies How I Met Your Mother (4.3/ 7), which was a repeat, and The New Adventures of Old Christine (5.1/ 8), followed by Fox’s struggling Drive (3.3/ 5), and CW comedies Everybody Hates Chris (2.1/ 3) and All of Us (1.8/ 3). One week earlier, Drive debuted in the time period with a 3.7/ 6. See you in the loser’s circle, Drive.
Sigh. Deal or No Deal? Doubling the audience for Drive? You're kidding right? As Liz Lemon would say: "Blurgh!!!"
We'll probably (hopefully!) see the remaining two episodes filmed and produced, before Drive joins the long, lamented list of "brilliant but cancelled." Fuck you, lowbrow Nielsen families, and just for good measure, fuck you Howie Mandel.
Pimp slap? Really?
On last night's Drive:
By showing the "most improvement," Tully gets a chance to "jump ahead." All he has to do is rob a bank and steal a safe deposit box, from a new, state of the art vault. That only has one 6 digit code, and can be hacked by anyone wearing Ralph Lauren. But Tully and Corrinna partner up with Los Hermanos, homes (I keep seeing this written as both "holmes" and "homes," but I think it has more to do with "homeboy" than it does "Sherlock," so I'll go with the "homes"), so that makes it easier (for now) and more fun. For example, we get this exchange:
Winston, being a badass: "Someone even looks like they want to play hero I'll personally pimp slap that twinkle right out of their eye."
Waitress: "Wintergreen chai latte, no foam."
Winston: "That's me."
Priceless.
We also learn that Tully's 1972 Challenger (which has some characteristics of a 1970) also has the upgraded engine, a 426 hemi.
Ivy is still annoying, and strangely hot. And oh, she can't drive, either. And here's one more tidbit for ya: the actress playing Ivy is Peyton Manning's cousin. Seriously.
Speaking of Peyton, the almighty turned his attention from delivering a Super Bowl title to Peyton's bigoted coach to tell Susan that she was gonna win the race. "Mysterious ways" indeed, as she got smashed to pieces in a well shot and harrowing t-bone. Guess she shouldn't have complained about giving her phone back to Mr. Bright. Or maybe it was complaining about her hamburger. ("Doublemeat!" Has to be a Buffy shout-out!)
In other race developments, Wendy is still a little crazy. Rob is a little more sympathetic. And despite her wonderful ass, Ellie still bugs in a major way.
The clue? Figured that one out right off the bat, too.
Whodat? The bank manager was played by actor and stand up comic Rick Overton, who has played small roles in Lost and Alias, and was also "The Drake" on Seinfeld.
Finally, no ratings info yet today, but there's this tidbit from Kristin at E!:
"When I recently interviewed Tim Minear, even he told me, "I'm a little bit like the characters in the race. The powers that be don't tell me anything, but they make me do things against my will." Jokes aside, he noted that Drive has gotten a huge marketing push from the network, and Peter Liguori has been very supportive, so I think there's a good chance Fox will give Drive a chance to shift into a higher gear!"
By showing the "most improvement," Tully gets a chance to "jump ahead." All he has to do is rob a bank and steal a safe deposit box, from a new, state of the art vault. That only has one 6 digit code, and can be hacked by anyone wearing Ralph Lauren. But Tully and Corrinna partner up with Los Hermanos, homes (I keep seeing this written as both "holmes" and "homes," but I think it has more to do with "homeboy" than it does "Sherlock," so I'll go with the "homes"), so that makes it easier (for now) and more fun. For example, we get this exchange:
Winston, being a badass: "Someone even looks like they want to play hero I'll personally pimp slap that twinkle right out of their eye."
Waitress: "Wintergreen chai latte, no foam."
Winston: "That's me."
Priceless.
We also learn that Tully's 1972 Challenger (which has some characteristics of a 1970) also has the upgraded engine, a 426 hemi.
Ivy is still annoying, and strangely hot. And oh, she can't drive, either. And here's one more tidbit for ya: the actress playing Ivy is Peyton Manning's cousin. Seriously.
Speaking of Peyton, the almighty turned his attention from delivering a Super Bowl title to Peyton's bigoted coach to tell Susan that she was gonna win the race. "Mysterious ways" indeed, as she got smashed to pieces in a well shot and harrowing t-bone. Guess she shouldn't have complained about giving her phone back to Mr. Bright. Or maybe it was complaining about her hamburger. ("Doublemeat!" Has to be a Buffy shout-out!)
In other race developments, Wendy is still a little crazy. Rob is a little more sympathetic. And despite her wonderful ass, Ellie still bugs in a major way.
The clue? Figured that one out right off the bat, too.
Whodat? The bank manager was played by actor and stand up comic Rick Overton, who has played small roles in Lost and Alias, and was also "The Drake" on Seinfeld.
Finally, no ratings info yet today, but there's this tidbit from Kristin at E!:
"When I recently interviewed Tim Minear, even he told me, "I'm a little bit like the characters in the race. The powers that be don't tell me anything, but they make me do things against my will." Jokes aside, he noted that Drive has gotten a huge marketing push from the network, and Peter Liguori has been very supportive, so I think there's a good chance Fox will give Drive a chance to shift into a higher gear!"
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