I'll take potpourri for $6,000, Alex

The Lost finale is still cooking my noodle, and I'll have more on that next week. However, here's an overstuffed basket of potpourri for your Saturday morning enjoyment:

Need a quick way to identify which Trek movie you're watching? Here's a handy chart.

How does Spock's mom stay so young looking? Big gulps of water, apparently. (Plus, any chance to indulge my lifelong crush on Winona Ryder is always welcome).

How big is the new Enterprise? Pretty fucking big.

i09's 5 favorite Trek ripoffs (and you really have to click the video for the "Phoenix 5.")

Here's a great podcast about movie scores. You'll find at the top of the list a episode about the music of Trek. Good stuff.

More Trek! Here's the wallpaper on my CrackBerry:

io9 has compiled a great collection of Trek Top 10 lists.

More Trek goodies, including a trivia quiz administered by "Q." (Yeah, I scored 20 out of 20).

Great set of annotations to the new Trek movie.

Can you tell that I FLOVED the new Trek film? Okay, on to other things...

This is AWESOME. The "world's three best visual illusions."

Flat screen TV's are now an apparent danger to children. Here's a solution: keep your fucking kids away from the TV. Here's another: get your priorities in line. TVs are much more important; don't spawn in the first place.

One man's take on why Fringe is attracting more viewers than Dollhouse.

Speaking of Fringe, how about that fantastic finale? Here's a closeup of a newspaper from the other dimension. JFK is still alive! (Does Oliver Stone have no career in this other dimension?) Len Bias still alive, and leading the Celts to a title! Stock market closed! White House rebuilt!

Michael Emerson chats with the AV Club.

Joss Whedon's "7 Things I Love About Sci-Fi."

io9 posits that Dollhouse is Joss's "greatest work." (I don't agree, but it's an interesting read nonetheless).

The gorgeous Juliet Landau talks about writing Drusilla for the Buffy comics.

Nathan Fillion Q&A with EW about Castle (which also got renewed, along with Better Off Ted. Yippee!). More Nathan here.

An oldie but a goodie from PJ O'Rourke, "I agree with me."

This cracks me up: the "history of everything" in timeline form. Which option makes more sense?

Asteroids couldn't have killed the dinosaurs. Wait, all this happened in 6,000 years?

Oh yeah. Marriage equality leads to bestiality, pedophilia and polygamy. Keep talking, Pat. It makes everyone else look smarter.

Thoughts on Joss's script for Alien Resurrection, and what happened as it was translated by the director.

Nice Interview with Jim Beaver, from Supernatural. (And damn, was I glad Bobby lived through that kickass finale).

Wizard Universe lists the "TV Greatest Sci-Fi Shows Ever."

How cool is this? The Tarantino Mixtape:

The Tarantino Mixtape from Eclectic Method on Vimeo.

Today in Idiocy: I watch the Weather Channel occasionally, but didn't realize there was a type of "wind" that would only blow in the direction of nipples, while leaving the hair unmoved.

Passing out grades for the summer TV season

The fall television season is upon us, so it's time to take a quick look back at the boys of summer, television-style.

First and foremost, I'm sure you're probably sick of reading about my undying love affair with The Middleman. Unless, of course, you're a fellow fan of the Middledude and Dub-Dub. I watch a LOT of TV, and this was by far the most inventive, original and entertaining show I've seen in ages. Though not a clone of a Whedon program, it still has the same sensibility, in that it wholly creates its own universe, style and patter, and completely immerses you. It wasn't a perfect fit for ABC Family, and didn't pull the ratings it could (and should) have, so who knows if we'll be treated to another season of one of the most brilliant concoctions to grace the boob tube. If you've ever trusted my recommendations, please treat yourself to a viewing of The Middleman. A+

In Plain Sight was okay. In a summer without much going on, it made for a passable procedural with an intriguing concept, a solid lead performance and a star character in the making (Marshall!). I was bored with the family drama, though the whole "box of letters" bit at the end was a bit heartwarming. And for some bizarre reason, I was mesmerized by Mary's dimwitted, skank of a sister. (Evidently, I just have a soft spot for that type). On a related note, said sister will soon be showing up on Bones as a love interest for Angela. B-

Despite the interesting premise and setting, I still have all the eppies of Swingtown TiVod. Unwatched. Incomplete.

Secret Diary of a Call Girl coasted by entirely on the charms of star Billie Piper. If you're a fan of her Rose Tyler, it made for a mildly diverting 20 minutes. It wasn't sexy enough to be erotic, funny enough to make you laugh or dramatic enough to move you. But if you like saucy chicks with an overbite who once rode in the Tardis, it'll do. C

I'm still halfway through the latest season of Weeds. I enjoy this show when I watch it, yet I don't rush home to fire up the TiVo to make sure I catch the latest ep. Maybe my TiVo is telling me something. Incomplete.

At this stage of the game, I really don't expect that much from Monk. I smile at the fully realized central character, and enjoy his "here's what happened" as much as Columbo's "one more question." However, I think the summer season showed an uptick in the quality of the show, despite the mysteries being even easier to figure out. I was dreading the "Monk is hypnotized into thinking he's a child" finale, which actually surprised me by making me laugh out loud. And the 100th episode, where they revisited his 100 cases solved via a tabloid TV show conceit was particularly inspired. B

Psych strayed from the formula a bit this season, offering more insight into Shawn's background and childhood, and actually became a richer show while still offering the requisite silliness and pop culture riffs. Juliet is an underrated hottie and my only complaint was the lack of screen time for Lassiter. B+

I haven't yet watched the season finale of Burn Notice, so I'm not sure exactly how they wrapped up the season long arc with Six, er Carla, and her machinations of Michael. But the second season built on everything that we liked about the show in the first place (action, droll voice-overs, spycraft 101, deadpan humor, plenty of Bruce Campbell's Sam Axe) and delivered an even better showing. A

Law & Order: CI had an uneven summer. Some of the plot twists were patently ridiculous and it was clear that the departing Chris Noth was phoning it in. D'onfrio is always interesting, however, and I welcomed the return of the eminently adorable Megan Wheeler as Logan's partner. Next season, she'll be paired with Jeff Goldblum (of the underwatched and underappreciated Raines) who should bring an extra level of quirk to the show. I like the acerbic Eric Bogosian as the captain, and the season finale, featuring the return of Bobby's brilliant mentor and his longtime nemesis Nicole Wallace, was spectacular. B

Eureka, thus far, has been hit and miss. Many have objected to the blatant product placement from Degree, but working in the marketing field, I certainly understand the advantages of having some extra cabbage to support the show, and it doesn't bother me. I adore Ever Carradine, but don't really see what she adds to the show and I've found the whole "corporate conspiracy" with Eva a bit tedious. They also said goodbye to one of my favorite Eureka characters (and his dry, withering wit) Nathan Stark. Still, Colin Ferguson's anchoring performance keeps me tuned in, but I was hoping for more. C+

I gave up on Saving Grace. I appreciate the skill, fearlessness and ferocity of Holly Hunter's performance, but the whole show just kind of loses me. A bunch of rednecks getting drunk and solving crimes, infused with a bit of the supernatural? Damn, it sounds good, but it just doesn't work for me. D

We're still in the middle of Mad Men's run, but Holy Shit! is this show good. Easily among the top five shows on television, Mad Men continues to be a hallmark of stellar and subtle acting, writing, storytelling, directing and production values. A trenchant commentary on social mores, gender relations and commerce, Mad Men is a classic for the ages and absolutely must watch television every single week. A+

The Closer was all over the map this season, and in a good way. (Yes, as a southerner, I'm still bugged by Brenda Leigh's accent). We've had harrowing, heart-wrenching episodes and frothy, funny episodes (like the one with Provenza being hired as an undercover hit man) and they all pretty much delivered a solid, well-crafted hour of procedural entertainment. The ensemble is among TV's best, and I can never get enough JK Simmons on my tube. A

I've always watched the Stargate shows, though I've never been as passionate about them as I am with other genre fare, like Firefly, Trek, BSG, Farscape and the like. Still, it saddened me a little when Stargate Atlantis got cancelled, even though I understand the economics behind it. For an hour of sci-fi escape, you could do worse (Painkiller Jane, anyone? Or Flash Gordon? Arrrrggh). McKay (especially), Keller, Zelenka, Beckett, Ronin and the newly added Woolsey are all entertaining characters, even if Sheppard's hair bugs me (could Footloose's Ren have been in the military? Don't think so. Get thee to an interstellar Flowbee). But the replicator-redux storylines, along with the totally boring villains (how could you make "space-vampires" less interesting?) made this less than appointment viewing. C+

I'll take potpourri for $2,800, Alex

Welcome back, y'all. Not much activity on the old blog front for the past week or so, as I've been slammed at work (wait -- I don't do this for a living? I'm up to $1.47 on my adsense account!) and traveling back and forth to the motherland to follow the alma mater. However, I'm back for a couple of weeks, and can now bring you up to speed on the some of the interesting things around the interwebs:

"Have a baby for love. Not German engineering." Brooke Shields is perfect in these VW ads. Funny stuff.

10 unfinished sci-fi/fantasy series that need to be finished. Though it's not listed in the numbers (but in the opening 'graph), I actually enjoyed Threshold. Carla Gugino, Data and the Dinklage? I watched. I'm not sure about being "finished," but I would enjoy checking in again with Quantum Leap, The 4400, Firefly (yeah, I enjoyed Serenity, too, but really, really wanted these folks on my TV every single week) and V. We were a very "mini-series" watching family when I was young (Roots, Thorn Birds, Winds of War, Shogun, etc.), but V was the first one to hit right in the geek wheelhouse that Sam and I loved.

Thoughts on the new season of Bones. I thought the London season opener was a bit too silly for my tastes, though I did dig the British cop. The whole Angela/Hodgins breakup seemed shoehorned in and out of nowhere, and I'm not sure where they're going with that. And I'm not entirely happy with the "Zack situation," though I never really liked Zack and think that Sweets is a much better and more entertaining character to get airtime. Plus, the "He can hold his breath for three minutes down there!"quote made me laugh. Tempy, I have the lung capacity of a tubercular hamster, but I'd be happy to spend more than three minutes.

Herbstreit predicts the Dawgs/Poultry game. I hope he's right.

A nugget of proof for the existence of a deity.

A recent Mandel column, in which he discusses SEC fans chanting "S...E...C" at the end of games. Have we been doing this? I'm not sure. It's been awfully quiet at the bottom of my flask. (BTW, I finished his book on the recent trip home. Good reading, and recommended for college football fans).

Uh-oh. Dollhouse shuts down production for a couple of weeks. Signs of trouble with the scripts? Lack of faith by the FOX suits? Normal development? I'd love to play Kevin Bacon and scream "Remain calm! All is well!" But visions of Firefly dance through my head. Shit. I can't take another early cancellation.

As if the Big 10 wasn't humiliated enough by the SEC lately, a Gator skank comments on the viability of Big 10 chicks to grace the cover of Playboy:

In addition to showing up on tonight's summer finale of Psych, Gary Cole will be appearing on Chuck as Sarah's dad. Awesome.

Did Texas and UTEP play a neutral site game in Columbus, GA?

The Vandy juggernaut pwns Darth Visor.

A laugh out loud South Park license plate.

The obvious mistake -- offering a sandwich. I would have gone with Zaxby's chicken fingers or maybe a Bourbon Street steak.

AJ Green is talented. And humble.

The season -- and let's hope not the series -- finale of The Middleman was a geektastic Oreo double-stuffed with awesome. Here's a list of the numerous references for that ep.

Glen Larson seems like a douchebag for not worshipping at the feet of the revived BSG, but hey, he gave us "frak."

The Zack and Miri redband trailer. Yep, I'm there.

9 things you shouldn't buy new. I don't know if I agree with all of those, but I'll never forget the words of a former mentor: "If it flies, floats or fucks....rent, don't buy."

I'll take potpourri for $2,500, Alex

Science proves that "beer goggles" are real. Everyone who went to college goes "duh."

It seems like every week, I find some reference to a retro toy and say, "yeah, I had that one too." Here's an Enterprise bridge playset from 1975. What's odd, is that this would have never happened in today's marketing climate. Can you see some guy sitting a board room, and saying "Let's introduce a line of action figures for kids based on a TV show that got canceled 3 years ago!" When I was a kid, my dad was indifferent to the gazillions of action figures I had (except maybe the early, militarily "accurate" GI Joes), but he took a noted interest in all the Trek toys. I definitely credit Sam for inspiring and encouraging my Trek fandom.

This sounds like a winner. Alien abduction story by underpraised director Whit Stillman? Cool.

I never realized this. Longtime character actor Matt Winston (Enterprise, John From Cincinnati) is the son of recently departed special effects pioneer and guru Stan Winston.

Sadly, this would attract me, too. As would the t-shirt they reference.

TRON's lightcycle race Sweded. Astonishingly effective.

For those who haven't yet become part of the Lost cult, here's your chance. Skiffy will begin airing the show from the beginning in Monday night 4 hour blocks, starting September 15.

CBS wants all the SEC it can get.

How many of the most common 100 English language words can you guess in 5 minutes? (I only got 35).

The Woodman talks about 12 of his previous flicks.

Awesome movie quiz. Guess the flick by poster font. (I got 38).

Awwww. Loyal dog story. (I'll fill up the feeder and fountain, and empty the litterbox and send out a twitter message before I decide to end it all).

So Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip didn't work because of post 9/11 anger? And I always thought it was because we had kidnapping and hostage stories in a show about TV sketch comedy show. And because it wasn't funny. Here was my take on the initial pitch meeting with the NBC execs. Despite all of Sorkin's misguided pomposity, I still have an undying love for SportsNight.

Robert Downey Jr. is a Marvel "company man." Fuck DC Comics.

This makes me sport wood.

A guide to all the pop-culture references from last Monday's episode of the best show you're not watching. (and I mean "you're" as in Nielsen families, apparently. Not brilliant readers of TNRLM, who I'm sure have taken my exhortations to heart and regularly tune in). And a critic makes the case for this unique, wonderful show.

Sadly, I've known vapid, hypocritical skanks like this, too.

And people say that West Virginia is full of backwards, uneducated hicks. Yeah, the DMV is a circle of Hell, but this is just stupefyingly asinine.

Sigh. Why can't the government let you keep more of you own money, regardless of whether or not you subject the world to a mewling infant?

Any chance this won't suck?

Play Star Trek, 20 Questions.

An awesome Fred / Illyria image.

A very good analysis of Mad Men's "The Benefactor."

Darth Vader and stormtroopers do "Thriller." And Boba Fett does Flashdance.

I'll take potpourri for $2,100, Alex

Wanna fight WWII with alien technology? Try this.

Original Recipe Star Trek catchphrases (including a "He's dead, Jim" montage"). And a list of all the "I'm a doctor, not a......" utterances.

Ichiro's teammates have taught him well. ("August in Kansas City, is hotter than two rats in a fucking wool sock.")

Fringe sounds like it's shaping up very nicely. This will be on the TiVo for fall.

I didn't realize they had subways, other than the sandwich shops, in Columbus, GA. Speaking of which, I wonder if they make these with 4 digits?

Eliza talks about Dollhouse. Good lord, she's so hot I think my monitor just melted.


Hey, I thought it was a proven fact that "he" was unique?!

More proof that the apocalypse is nigh.

Cheesy music aside, if this doesn't make you sniffle, you don't have a heart. Even better? It's true.

The evolution of the Batsuit. And could Batman really exist?

Geeks not exactly in situ.

Damn, I miss home. (h/t Lee).

I've been listening to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince audiobook on the iPod. This is the first fiction audiobook I've actually tried. Holy shit, is Jim Dale the most awesome narrator ever? Question: will any other fiction audiobooks be a step down, where the narrator doesn't do a gazillion unique character voices?

Fictional presidents make better decisions, TV notes and the earth is just a wee bit older than some believe

Gearing up for the second season of Mad Men, here's a great look back at Season One. (If you haven't seen it yet, first, shame on you, and second, SPOILERS ahoy).

Despite getting some horrific reviews, I'm still eager to see Hancock. Probably because the stars are all so damned likable, and yeah, I'm a sucker for genre fare like this. If you want to see them all amuse each other, and us, check out the latest in MovieFone's "Unscripted" series.

What's up with FOX and the interesting TV shows? First, they actually made Sarah Connor fly and actually renewed it, then they gave greenlights to Fringe and Dollhouse. Now they put Tim Roth in a TV show about a "human lie detector?" Awesome. (And damn, I could have used his services a couple of years ago).

Let me get this straight. The "tax 'em all" liberal wants to further blur the line between church and state and have the government fund more supernatural-based shenanigans -- even more than the current presidential zealot? Blergh. I have nowhere to vote. (Too bad a fictional character like this isn't running. Although I did like what I saw of Jeff Bridges' food-obsessed POTUS. But he couldn't shoot down alien spaceships, which might come in handy sometime). More on the waste of "our" money here.

Speaking of which, I don't think Shaun's flat-earth beliefs are keeping him off a roster. I think it has more to do with the fact that he runs out of bounds too often, lays down at the first sign of contact and that the Seahawks had to throw close to 600 passes last year.

Or maybe he's just not that bright.

Related: if the Earth is only 6,000 years old, how do you explain this?

Psyched for the new season of Psych? Here's an interview with Dule Hill and James Roday.

"Global warming" causes, well....everything. But this guy might not agree.

Back in Georgia, when I wasn't home, I was on the golf course. When the cat's away, the mice will play, so wouldn't it have been ironic if this had happened? "Excuse me, just playing through" indeed. Hey, at least it would have paid for some of the booze and ciggies.

Has anyone watched Swingtown yet? They're stacking up on the TiVo, but I haven't been motivated to watch thus far, despite the promise of disco and harvest gold and avocado kitchens.

I'll take potpourri for $1,400, Alex

Not quite sure how this makes me feel. The AJC's Mark Bradley picks UGA to go 11-1 and win the Mythical National Championship.

IO9 has a cool comparison between the fandoms of Doctor Who and Star Trek, complete with charts and graphs!

Save Dollhouse before it gets cancelled by FOX. Or before it airs on FOX!

Screw Obama and McCain. You want change? Vote this way.

Just got my EW with the summer TV preview. (Don't worry, TNRLM will tell you what to set your TiVo for this summer shortly). But Mad Men, and the gorgeous and voluptuous Christina Hendricks on the cover? Wowza. Nice to see our Mrs. Reynolds on another top shelf show. And when Mad Men comes back, it will be on Sundays.

The Coen Brothers are back in funny territory, and I couldn't be happier. This looks sensational.

Reasons the underrated SOAP was a groundbreaking show.

Shirley Manson from Garbage is joining the cast of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles.

Harper's Bazaar does a fawning profile of Clooney's girlfriend, a former Vegas skank who was attracted to him because he "cares about Darfur." Oooops. Maybe that article wasn't such good timing.

Awesome photo of the Watchmen from the 40s. I've said it before and I'll say it again: if you haven't read Watchmen, get yourself to a Barnes and Noble now and buy it. It's not just for comic book geeks. That shit is literature, y'all.

The perfect birthday cake for geeks. From a bakery up here!

Braves play another one-run game, suffer another loss. This is causing ulcers.

Of course this ship is unsinkable! It's named "Titanic" for cryin' out loud!

For the last few years, Memorial Day has been an odd holiday. Of course there is the justified honoring of soldiers who have given all in their service to the red, white and blue. There's the relaxing three day weekend. There's the auto racing. There's the sunshine and sudsy beverages. There's the musing about fluffy linens (oh wait. maybe that's just at my place). There are the numerous TV marathons. And then there are the little shivs of memory that pop up because you're too OCD to ever remove anything from Outlook. Last year, I celebrated this automated "reminder" with a movie marathon.

This year, I give you a random sampling of the Worst Decisions in History:

"Let's completely change the taste and formula of our signature product. I think this New Coke thing is really gonna catch on."

Mike Dukakis: "I'm gonna ride in this tank. It will make me look presidential."

"We need to make a sequel to Speed. On a slow moving boat."

Invading Russia in winter.

David Caruso leaving NYPD Blue. McLean Stevenson leaving M*A*S*H for Hello Larry.

Western Union: "Sorry Mr. Bell, we don't need your novelty toy."

The New Deal.

Kurt Cobain marrying Courtney Love. Jerry Lee Lewis marrying his 13 year old cousin.

"Hey, someone left us a big wooden horse outside. Let's bring it inside the walls."

Decca Records turning down the Beatles.

Getting involved in a land war in Asia.

"This Betamax thing is cool. Let's buy one and start a movie collection."

Gallipoli.

Han shooting first.

Pickett's Charge.

"Don't worry. Nobody will ever look all that closely at our books." (Enron)

"Viewers want to watch Heidi. Let's cut to that."

Best new artist of 1990: Milli Vanilli.

"Oh, don't worry Monica. It's just a little spunk on the dress. Just get it dry cleaned."

FOX cancels Firefly. And then Arrested Development.

"Let's break into the DNC. What's that hotel complex called? 'Watergate,' I think."

"You always take a big man. Let's draft Sam Bowie first."

I'll take potpourri for $700, Alex

Cute interview with the talented Jane Espenson, writer for Buffy, Firefly and Battlestar Galactica. After finishing the season with BSG, is there any doubt she'll move to Dollhouse? Because of course, it will be a major hit and FOX won't cancel it.

Wanna keep track of how many are dead on BSG? Here's a handy chart. That's gonna need some updating.

The World's Greatest School doles out some more awards for the highest achievement in television. Winners include 3 of my favorites: Dexter, 30 Rock and Mad Men.

This is adorable. What if Charles Schultz created Watchmen?

I'm a big fan of Torchwood, but last week's ep about the "night travelers" was plain stupid and full of holes. I'm hoping for a rebound tonight.

New show about advertising on TNT. On the upside, it's got a great cast and is produced by the folks behind The Closer. However, will I watch this the same way doctors do Grey's Anatomy or cops do CSI: Miami, and just say (insert Gob Bluth voice here) "Aw, come ON!"

Speaking of CSI: Miami, I think I've posted several times about my reasons for watching this dreck. And I say that as a fan of CSI: Original Recipe. It's my "go to bed" show, because the plots are relatively self-contained, and I haven't seen many of them, so it's perfect to doze off to. And if you watch it as a comedy, it's just so much better. But I'm just increasingly filled with hate and disbelief with every episode. Is there a more painful actor to watch on TV than Caruso? Every self-important line is delivered head cocked, as he walks off screen holding his shades. Every single fucking one. And he's supposed to be a CSI, not a one man killing machine who has to be the greatest shot since Quigley Down Under. I've seen him take out teams of machine gun wielding assassins and entire moving trucks with a pistol. And I despise the smug, horrible acting of Delko. And the teeth and tits of Boa Vista walked in from a poorly crafted soap opera. If not for the twangy charms of the bald cop and Emily Proctor, I might die in my sleep one night after watching this.

Even when she was too young for the prom, she's just frosted cupcake perfection.

We all Know-Shon. Apparently the rest of the world is starting to take notice, too. (h/t Georgia Sports Blog).

You can put the skank in the minivan, but not much really changes. Speaking of which, Dallas is behind the times. This was happening in Columbus Georgia a couple of decades ago.

Over at Trekmovie.com, they posted some funny "alternative title sequences" to the various Trek shows. This is my favorite:



Mike Hampton goes on the DL. In other news, grass is green and water is wet.

I'll take potpourri for $400, Alex

I can't believe I forgot to mention the passing of D&D inventor Gary Gygax a couple of weeks ago. There were moving tributes all over the intertubes, and had I not been so busy I would have posted my own. That, and I probably didn't want to appear too geeky (ooops. That ship has sailed, I'm afraid). Let's just say that in between sports, school, girls, hot rods, comic books and normal youthful angst, I spent my fair share of time painting miniatures, collecting multisided dice and worrying about hit points. Here is a funny flowchart (be sure to click on it to see the expanded version) and article related to Gygax's passing. Additionally, a nice article from resident geek Wil Wheaton on the subject.

Solid list of great movie opening credit sequences, with video.

Speaking of movies, how about a list of awful movie titles?

Local interest: I'm discovering that fair number of folks from the pop culture world are from my new adopted home in Maryland. John Locke himself, Terry O'Quinn. Wesley Wyndham Price, Alexis Denisoff. Adorable showkiller Paula Marshall. Author Michael Chabon (which I discovered reading his wonderful essay and the usefulness of superhero costume, which is definitely worth checking out).

X-Files panel, where Scully reveals that she also loves one of my favorite of the "funny" episodes, "Bad Blood."

I don't understand the haters. Here's a cute interview with Juliet's portrayer, the bright, beautiful, modest and charming Elizabeth Mitchell. And she reads comic books, y'all!

Highlights of Sawyer's nicknames.

Speaking of Lost, here's an updated bracket for the Lost Madness Tournament. Some tough calls in round 2: Sayid over Locke? Desmond against Penny? That's not exactly fair, though I voted the same way. In the Sweet Sixteen, voting is currently underway. Here are the matchups, and my vote:

• Jack vs. Sayid. I don't hate Jack for his pigheaded self-righteousness like a lot of folks, but I gotta go with Sayid here.
• Kate vs. Sawyer. That's an easy one. Sawyer is the choice, though he's currently a fraction of a percent behind Kate. Get out the vote, people!
  
• Charlie vs. Faraday. I loved the little hobbit, but Faraday delivers a line like no one else.
• Libby vs. Eko. Eko was mysterious and badass, until he got too caught up in the religious mumbo-jumbo. So Libby it is.
• Ben vs. Juliet. Wow, I haven't been shy about my huge crush on Dr. Burke, but dammit if Ben is not one of the most fascinating characters on TV. Ben.
• Richard Alpert vs. Jacob. I don't even understand what the fuck Jacob is (which is pretty cool). But how can you vote against BatManuel?
• Smoke Monster vs. Desmond. Easy choice, brotha.
• Nadia vs. Rousseau. Another tough one, though I don't think we've seen the last of Nadia, so I'll go with her.

A review of R.E.M.'s new album, which sounds like a return to the form I enjoy. I'll be downloading this sucker today.

Speaking of Athens, thoughts from voters considering UGA to be a preseason #1. But that's gonna be a hard road, with the Nation's Toughest Schedule. And what's the program worth? Check out this list (I assume the #1 program there spends a lot of those profits on the coach's buffet table). Also, on a recent PTI, Wilbon called Herschel "the best college player I ever saw."
For comparison's sake, a Trade School grad kills birds intentionally.

Thoughts about "spoilers."

Remember that link between Obama and Trek's 7 of 9? More sci-fi thoughts: He's the Kwisatz Haderach.

Fucking goddamned cocksucking motherfuckers. Let's spend more on useless pork (and not the good kind, like bacon), spend more on worthless "domestic" programs, and confiscate even MORE money from the people who earn it. Fuckers. And should the donkeys get more control, I'm sure you'll see more of this bullshit. With regard to tax policy, I still don't understand why the gubment gives such a break to the breeders. Shouldn't people who make a conscious, willful and deliberate decision to have kids pay much, much more? They are the ones who "use" much of what the taxes go for? Schools, roads to drive to soccer practice, younguns who will grow old and use social security, healthcare and payments to people too stupid to have a job and/or realize they can't afford a kid? And from a treehugger perspective, don't the wackadoo lefties realize that each urchin they bring into the world will just consume more natural resources and have a "carbon footprint" of their own? Save the planet, and wear a condom! Or just whack off to a chart that shows the taxable rate over 50%.

I'm sure all these fictional characters are getting taxed too much. So who has more money - Thurston Howell III, Montgomery Burns or Jed Clampett?

Bad sci-fi movie physics.

The dude who swung his sausage in a gay strip club was the first to go on Idol. And another Idol stripper unravels. Kids, once you sell your cooze to strangers on a regular basis, it just doesn't get any better, does it? Along those lines, at least have the intellectual integrity to call a spade a spade. "Good person?" Yeah, I've heard that one before.

Wiffleball can get competitive, you know. And how many people remember this schoolyard sport? I was a motherfucking four-square pimp.

Autobiography title makes me chuckle.

I'll take potpourri for $200, Alex

John Byrne, comic icon that I fondly remember from my youth and his time on the X-Men, will be doing a "Lorne" gig for the new (and quite good) Angel: After the Fall comic.

We missed an ep of the new Sarah Connor show on Monday so some empty suited hypocrites could lie to us, but I did stumble across this somewhat cogent breakdown of the various Terminator timelines. Well, as cogent as timeline breakdowns can be when the producers can't even remember the fucking years clearly spelled out in the previous movies. If you're making a show like this (or even one of the movies), wouldn't you have a huge-ass white board up in your writing room with meticulous documentation of all the various timelines and key dates?

Hey, Dinner for Five has an ep tonight! THAT is one of the many reasons I pray daily at the shrine of TiVo. I didn't delete my D5 season pass, and out of the fucking blue a new episode pops up in the To Do List. Just like it should. I've almost forgotten the ass-raping horrors of the three months with Comcast and their antediluvian, ersatz "DVR".

I'm really digging the new iPod and iTunes. More sometime soon on my experiences with this little gem.

Too bad the Super Bowl isn't in Columbus, Georgia. I'm sure the prices are cheaper.

Speaking of which, did anyone catch little Wilbur's question to Christian in the latest Nip/Tuck? "Daddy, is mommy a skank?" Assuming, of course, that a child of two parents who barely have a GED between them will ever learn nouns and verbs, I'm sure this question will be asked repeatedly in Georgia very soon. (And if ya want a real answer to that one, Junior, just ask me. Or any of about 21,387 local area used car salesmen, sweaty insurance agents, college drop outs, random strangers, workers at the area free clinic, drug dealers, construction workers, pimps, sugar daddies, your granddad's co-workers, fry-cooks, or...well....you get the idea).

Nina the werewolf is getting married to a pie-fucker!

Could Cutthroat Bitch be back on House? Pretty please? Could she be the "mystery girlfriend" of Wilson? And how sweet is Anne Dudek's triple play? House, Mad Men and Big Love? Quite impressive. There are the "triple play" actors from the Whedonverse, like Jonathon Woodward, Andy Umberger -- look at this dude's credits! he's the shrink on Mad Men and has been on a lot of quality TV in addition to the Jossverse -- Jeff Ricketts, and Carlos Jacott. But to bag some time on House, Mad Men and Big Love, all from different head writers/producers, makes a TV geek's heart grow two sizes larger.

Bulldog players agree with 9 out of 10 tailgaters

Remember the Heisman debate from last weekend's tailgate? Well, it seems that the UGA team agrees with everyone but the Freebird (who is probably placing his Tebow action figure on a custom made Downtown Athletic Club diorama). UGA QB Matt Stafford earns respect for not only membership in the ABT Club, but also for pointing out one of the underpinnings of Heisman voting for decades: "He's been doing it a long time."

Also from the world of sports: if the NY Jets played in Columbus, Georgia, I'm sure the fans at Gate D would get a lot luckier.

Back to school shopping and love games

Interesting article on back to school shopping for girls over on Slate. While there is no "fault" in a true free-market economy -- companies can manufacture and market whatever they want, and consumers can select and purchase whatever they want -- it is sad that the options mentioned in the article are viable for a large portion of the population. Obviously, there's a middle ground between dressing in head to toe "prairie wear" like Nikki Henrickson and auditioning to be the next Pussycat hooker, but impressionable teens and tweens get their cues from the pop culture media, and hopefully, from their parents.

Scan the headlines of any pop/gossip website and you'll see all you need to know about examples set by Lindsay, Britney, Paris and their ilk. And it probably doesn't help if mom makes those tarts all look like Elizabeth I. I'm sure some of these back to school shopping questions have arisen in suburbs all across the country, like this one, for example. However, it's probably hard to have any parental moral authority on the subject when mom's own "wardrobe" was frequently found wadded up the next morning on the floor of random apartments, trailers and backseats, ostensibly for business ("pay for play"), pleasure ("I'm sorry, your name was....?") or economic security (Two Step Financial Planning for college flunk outs: 1. Lie. 2. Open knees).

On a quasi-related note, too bad I didn't know there were "simulations" like this a couple of years ago. Hell, even the Sims would have been smarter than I was.

Skank Alert

Okay, let me get this straight. The CW took Veronica Mars off the air in order to broadcast a "reality" show about a "music" group's search for the next "whoring sea donkey." (kudos, Salon, love that phrase). But now, after all is said and done, the winning trollop won't be joining the rest of the "established" strippers, and will instead embark on a solo "career." So the CW basically torpedoed whatever minimal inertia* Veronica had for a sham of a joke of a "contest" that delivered the following morality play: act like a no talent, worn out, gold-digging strumpet fresh off the whore assembly line in Columbus, Georgia; forsake your commitments and invalidate the entire premise of the excrement that's been clogging our airwaves. Nice job, CW. If you didn't have Reaper coming up, I'd just delete you completely off the "channels I receive" grid.

*I will say this -- despite the mid season parade of manholes, CW chief Dawn Ostroff believed in Veronica and kept it on two seasons more than the ratings, even on the miserable CW, would have supported.

In other skank news:

My respect for Sarah Silverman just slipped a bit.

My respect for Posh Spice (yes, Posh Spice!) just inched up a little bit.

Paris finds God. God reportedly tries harder to hide.

According to a phone call placed from the pokey to intrepid journalist Baba Wawa, everyone's favorite uneducated skank has found the Lord. No press release (or cosmic phone call to Joy Behar) from the Almighty regarding his disappointment about being located.

Nothing like three days of "hard time" to stir your religious convictions. Of course, there's no better way to demonstrate faith and morality than being a drug-addled, wonky-eyed, vapid, shallow, money-grubbing, uneducated, STD-riddled, manipulative, club-hopping, worn out, perfidious whore.

I would find this wholly unbelievable, if I hadn't already "watched this exact same movie" before.

However, Endeavor, Hilton's agent, doesn't share the same enthusiasm for the open-thighed heiress as does the magical creator of all things.

Movie Channel of the Damned

Funny how things you put in your Outlook calendar way back when pop up when you've forgotten them and least expect them. It turns out today is a weird double anniversary of sorts. In honor of the "holiday," I think I'll break open a new bottle of whiskey and have a thematic and titular movie marathon, featuring the following flicks:

Liar, Liar
Ruthless People
From Hell
The Money Pit
Fatal Attraction
Aliens
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Showgirls
Reefer Madness
The Man Who Knew Too Much
The Last Seduction
Requiem for a Dream
Unfaithful
Leaving Las Vegas
In the Company of Men
The Long Kiss Goodnight
The Blair Witch Project
Saved!
Clerks
Children of the Corn
Used People
The Hypocrite
Rosemary's Baby
Thief
Demon Seed
Big, Bad Love
Sex, Lies and Videotape
The Lady Vanishes
Basic Instinct
Misery
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Solaris
The Bastard
Pretty Woman
Mommie Dearest
Touch of Evil
Shallow Grave
Crimes and Misdemeanors
Snatch
She-Devil
Suspicion
Intolerable Cruelty
National Lampoon's Gold Diggers
Betrayal
Take the Money and Run
True Lies
Chasing Amy
Shotgun Wedding
Dangerous Liasons
Dead Again
Pretty Baby
Chinatown
Notorious
Titanic
The Beverly Hillbillies
The Sting
Psycho
The Exorcist
Unforgiven


Suggestions are also welcome.

Making it rain, entertainment style

Whereby we throw a bunch of $1 entertainment nuggets up onto the stage and see which STDs take them home.

This sounds like a great show concept. The delicious Lauren Ambrose and the quirkily hot Parker Posey? Written by pop-culture dialogue savant Amy Sherman Palladino? Except for one thing. Why does there need to be a kid or a pregnancy "hook" in the show? Isn't it enough to have too smart and funny to be real people saying smart and funny things? Why add this baggage of spawn? If I think about the best shows on TV (BSG, Veronica, 24, Dexter, Rescue Me, Heroes, etc.) there's hardly a baby in the bunch. (I realize there's "miracle baby" Hera on BSG, which at least serves as a plot point. But every time I see Chief and Cally's reproductive discharge, my eyes roll back in my head and I reach for the FF button. Same with Claire's offspring on Lost. And don't get me started on the beginning of the season on Scrubs). And it's not like ASP didn't already wreck one show with shenanigans involving a kid. (I'm looking at you, April. At least that show's finally starting to rebound after digging out of last season's plot grave). I'll probably tune in, but hopefully Tivo will invent some type of child filter before then.

A very good House last night. I love it when touching sentimentality (House has cancer!) gets turned around to self-absorbed, cynical narcissism, complete with a Cuddy ass-grab. And Dave Mattews, stoner icon to millions, did a fine job playing a piano savant with the IQ of most of his fans. And bonus for Red Foreman/Clarence Boddiker as the concerned dad.

Cruel and unusual punishment: no Heroes until April 23rd? WTF?

Spoiler whore that I am, I've read some things about the final episodes of BSG. If they're true, then we're in store for a mind-frak rivaling that of last season's finale. Of the "four things" purported to be true, all make "sense" except for one -- which would be staggering. Not a spoiler: Firefly's "Badger" shows up as Baltar's attorney.

Given some "local" gossip I've heard lately, this headline made me laugh. Despite the author's take on Liz, I do find her attractive and she was amusing enough in Austin Powers. Though she was booted from school for poor grades, I doubt she's ever reached the "pinnacle" of her "career" in the champagne room, conceived in a car, bought dope from her kids' grandmother or shagged roughly the population of Kuala Lumpur.

Happy 10th Anniversary Buffy! Too bad I don't live in Texas.

Speaking of the Whedonverse, Summer Glau will be a teriminatrix.

The official Drive site is up and running.

It's well known that I'm a geek, and I've professed my love for Trek many times. However, I don't think I'll be doing any remodeling any time soon. (And to pick a "Voyager" theme? Not unless there's a 7 of 9 component in the boudoir).

Never trust people who pick up your dry cleaning

Very satisfying resolution to the "who killed the dean" mystery on last night's Veronica Mars. Even more satisfying, since I actually figured out the killer for once. I also liked the fact that it was solved (pretty much) by solid detective work, and didn't feature a "V's in Danger!" faux thrill ride at the end. Her confrontation with slimy TA Tim in the classroom was more Columbo and less Lifetime movie.

I shed nary a tear for the (hopefully painful) demise of the cheating, gold-digging Mindy O'Dell. Felt a little sorry for Landy. Still can't understand the Parker and Logan thing. Liked how dad got the Hemingway reference, while the younguns were stumbling over other possible connections. The switching of the keyboards was a good red herring, and kudos to the gang determining that Botando's fingerprints were on ALL the keys, just not the ones that would have typed the "goodbye cruel world" suicide note.

And the skanky stripper that was Landry's alibi? Tuns out she was a criminal and a liar with no dad for her deliquent offspring? Personally, I find that shocking. Along those lines, we're losing Veronica until April so "America" can find the next "Pussycat Doll?" Instead of wasting several weeks on this tripe, couldn't they just hang out at the same c-store Veronica did? Or just look in random soon to be repossessed cars in Panama City and find the gals leaving their footprints on the inside of the windshield? Or see what's scraped up off the floor of various bars at closing time? Yeesh.

But if they're going away for a few weeks, at least we were left with some decent lines:

"Or, she could have been a down on her luck catholic schoolgirl smuggling cantaloupes in her shirt."

"If you're wondering where I am, I'm hanging around outside of a convenience store eating corn nuts and watching strippers."

"You know I don't like you exposed to all this crime and violence. It's going to warp your mind."

"My name is Miss Crockett and this is my partner, Mr. Tubbs."

"We're on a last name basis now? We skipped over androgynous nicknames?"

"So, like, are they shooting a Motley Crue video here, or..."

"I'm just trying to figure out which Gilmore Girl you are."

"If I'm gonna run red lights with impunity, a red light would be helpful."

"You heading to the parlor to strangle Colonel Mustard after this?"

The Green Eyed Monster

I was reading the latest Veronica Mars recap over at TWOP, and there was an interesting aside. A while ago, they published a fascinating and insightful interview with series creator Rob Thomas. Great stuff, if you're a fan of the show. In this week's recap, they reference a tidbit that was withheld from the interview (it was published before last week's revelation about Logan and Madison). The full portion is in the recap, but here's a part of it:

The interesting thing in my mind is that Veronica and Logan have been broken up for six weeks when [Logan and Madison's hookup] happens. It's a fleeting thing one night when they're drunk in Aspen together. Veronica can't get past that. This gets into a whole debate we have in the writers' room. There is a contingent, of which [producer] Diane [Ruggiero] and I are a part who experience this overpowering sexual jealousy, the kind so nicely illustrated in Chasing Amy: "I can't get past what you did when we weren't together." It's something that I've struggled with in my life -- I'm interested in that phenomenon. There are others, like John Enbom, who don't really get it: "Why are you jealous of something that happened when you weren't in a committed relationship with someone?" Fair enough, that's a logical response, but emotions, for those of us who aren't Vulcan, aren't dictated by logic. I'm certainly not proud of my own jealousy, nor is Veronica proud of hers, though I find hers much more excusable. She's seen so much unfaithfulness. She does everything she can to protect her own heart. She hates being vulnerable. On a side note, I eventually got over mine. Not sure whether to ascribe it to years of therapy or finding the right person.

One of the wonderful things that "art" does (whether it's a song, a show, a movie, a book, poetry, etc.) is make us think about things in our own life in a different way, or examine our own situation, beliefs or experiences through the prism of fictional characters. TV "shippers" tend to blow right past the analysis and get to the result. "LoVe 4-ever!" "Dump his ass!" "They were on a break!" But, if you write (and act) truly rounded and embodied characters (like Veronica, BSG, The Sopranos, Dexter and a few others), the dramatic identification process is a lot more complex than that.

The reference to Chasing Amy is not lost on me. Besides being one of my absolute favorite movies, it's also an emotional, witty and oh-so true to life examination of the things that slowly but surely creep into a relationship. And different people handle those different ways. How much do you examine, obsess over, consider, judge and react to things that happened to your significant other in the "past?" And what exactly is the "past?" A few months, as in Veronica's case? Many years, as in Holden's case? On some level, most adults rationally know that what's happened in the past or while "we were on a break" shouldn't necessarily impact the present and the future. But relationships are rarely rational; the situations we all face are usually less cut and dried. Neither school of thought should be considered empirically "right" or "wrong," should they? On one hand, in the fictional worlds of the ViewAskewniverse or Neptune, I empathize with Logan and Alyssa. Logically (like a Vulcan, as Thomas suggests above), what happens outside the "boundaries" of the relationship shouldn't matter. But on a primal, emotional and all too real level for me, I'm right there with Holden and Veronica. (In fact, I think I even referenced the experience I had with nightmares and visions, when I posted my "morning after" reaction to last week's show). I've got friends who could easily fall into the latter category and yet don't, and manage to handle things with grace and maturity I can't even understand, much less emulate. But my psyche doesn't exactly work that way, despite repeated psychological and chemical attempts to rewire it. Of course, my fairly recent experience in this arena wasn't exactly analogous to Amy or Veronica. There were the incidents in the past, and behavior of a "vaginally sociable and commercial" nature. But there were also a lot of hypocritical, deceitful, manipulative and morally questionable incidents in the present, too, that I was just too stupid to see (which became particularly apparent in the post-mortem).

Perhaps a lot of it can be attributed to that old joke about "don't think about a pink elephant." Maybe there are just people, like Dawgs and Gators, that shouldn't be together (though I have a set of friends who disprove that theorem). Maybe it's in the way that the person with the past chooses to approach the present. Maybe honesty isn't always the best policy. Maybe it's in the way that people "judge" and embody that judgment, or are able to compartmentalize. Or maybe it's just simply better to be a Vulcan. Live Long and Prosper, y'all!

Whether or not there are any magic solutions, or "right" answers, it does make for compelling drama.

The Morning After is no Tramp

I kinda enjoyed last night's Veronica Mars, "There's Got to be a Morning After Pill," though not nearly as much as last week's chuckle filled "Poughkeepsie, Tramps and Thieves."

The mystery of the week wasn't too obvious, but since when is the televangelist NOT the bad guy? C'mon, let's have at least a little realism, folks.

It was nice to see Weevil back to being Weevil, but I can certainly do without Emo Logan. He was much better and funnier when he was organizing bum fights.

What's with all the license plate attention lately? Still, that can't compare to Monday's Heroes (see below).

I don't blame Veronica for her nightmares and visualizations. Hard to bleach that stuff out of your head. Lord knows I went through that when I spent a year with Columbus's answer to Courtney Love (well, Courtney Love without the moderation, morals, class and parenting skills).

And she didn't crush the car? After the uplifting homilies from the evangelical moron? V, don't you know that revenge is a dish best served cold? And crushed into a small cube?

Despite being a letdown from last week, there were a few amusing moments:

The Nancy Drew and Hester aliases.

"I feel like you've got this wadded up Maxim magazine where your heart is supposed to be."

"The rebound starts with me? Nice."

"You do your hair like that to cover up the three sixes on your scalp, right?"

"It must be a liberating thing not to be cursed with a moral compass." (again, personal flashbacks to last year for me. Argh).

"If we're not going to have an empty sexual encounter, I've got stuff to do."

"Bonnie's a preachers daughter? How very Footloose."

"Harassing women in crisis since 1973!''

Overall, B-