Saturday Morning Entertainment Roundup

Anyone catch 30 Rock on Thursday? Behold Alec Baldwin's Jack Donaghy employing creative techniques to keep Tracy Jordan from dogfighting. Two thoughts come to mind: 1. I would have never quit therapy if it was this much fun and this effective. 2. Arthur Blank should have called in Jack Donaghy last year. And speaking of the ASPCA's favorite number 7, where was this judge when you needed him? (I don't understand the guilty party in this situation. What did the dog do? Even though I'm more of a cat person, wouldn't it have made much more sense to toss the girlfriend off the balcony? I mean, just logically?)

What the hell is it with the cast of Lost and DUIs? Does this mean Michael will return and shoot him?

As promised, Mad Men did deliver a sensational finale. I still don't know quite what to make about the "shocker" with Peggy. Is it even possible not to know? In an hour (almost a full hour, too, with no commercials) of solid writing and acting, there were many, many highlights, including this one: Don's pitch to the Kodak folks about "The Wheel."

We've all heard Johnny Cash's "A Boy Named Sue." How about "A Man Called Jayne?"

Fun video snippet of Tricia Helfer's favorite fight scenes. Two observations (other than the obligatory "that kicks ass"): That last little tidbit? "The fight ends in hot sex, but not with Baltar?" Hmmmmm. And is LeeLee Sobieski a replicant created from Helen Hunt's DNA?

Check out Skiffy for a new BSG short. This one? AWESOME. Fighting skydiving. With a "classic" toaster. Did I mention AWESOME?

A tribute to the anniversary of Wrath of Khan, with Sylar/"new" Spock introducing the original cast. And in case you can't get enough "Khaaaan!" here's a handy website for you.

I'm terrible with geography, but is Williamsburg Greenpoint anywhere near Columbus, Georgia? Of course, this novel, The Delivery Man, could have been set there a couple of decades ago, too.

I'm still on the fence with Bionic Woman. Miguel Ferrer is underused and the show only really comes alive when Katee Sackhoff/Sarah Corvus is on screen. Plus, Isaiah Washington would hate Dumbledore. However, this week's episode showed a bit of wit, and how much better and emotive was Michelle Ryan when she was using her natural Brit accent? Too bad Jamie Sommers isn't revealed to be originally from across the pond.

What happens when Darth Vader falls in love.

TV Squad has a countdown of the scariest TV characters. A few highlights:

• The evil troll doll. Yes, the special effects are horribly outdated now. But I remember watching this as a kid and not sleeping for days, wondering where this little monster was going to be.
• The Peacock Family. Holy shit. Who wasn't freaked the fuck out the first time they saw this episode? Hell, they could be from Columbus, too.
• Eugene Tooms. More fun from The X-Files. Another classic sitting on the edge of your seat creepfest for Mulder and Scully.
• The Gentlemen. A perfect episode of Buffy, with everything that made it great. Stellar writing and acting, horror, innovative plotting, humor and character.
• Weeping Angels. A great example of how to do a lot with a little, from Doctor Who.

In contrast, a pet friendly environment!

Michael Vick's Atlanta home is for sale.

What a coincidence. So is mine! Mine has one less bedroom, the same number of fireplaces, and I'll let it go for several million dollars less.

Other differences:

• Mine is pet friendly, and does not include any "rape stands."
• I don't have a Matt Schaub dartboard in the game room.
• No doormats inscribed with "Ookey."
• My detached garage isn't painted flat black.
• No warrants ever served at my place (if only because bill-avoiding trollops are good at staying "off the grid.")
• "Mexico" was a vacation destination from my house, not an alias for the inhabitants of the house.
• Taxes are way, way less at my place.
• Marcus Vick never waved a gun at the neighborhood McDonalds.
• I don't have an Aquafina bottle safe for valuables.

Murder is a "great choice!" Herpes and dog killing is not.

Came across this article by ESPN writer Gregg Easterbrook (TMQ), offering a rare "defense" of Michael Vick. Defense is probably a stretch, though he does express some sentiment for the situation Vick finds himself in, by his own choices, decisions and actions, as Easterbrook points out.

The item in the article that came screaming off the screen to me was this:

You cannot order a customized Falcons jersey from NFL.com with the "Vick" or "7" on it. (Nor can you order one with "Mexico.")

However, you CAN order a Panthers jersey with "Carruth" and "89." Rae Carruth, as you may recall, was convicted of conspiracy to commit murder for shooting his 8-month pregnant girlfriend 4 times (she died). He was found hiding in a trunk with his own piss.

Another customizable gem you can pick up is a Bills jersey adorned with "32" and "Simpson." The Juice, as we all know, murdered Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman, skated on criminal charges but was later found responsible in civil court. Personally, I would never have anything with "Simpson" on it (that didn't feature 3 fingers and yellow skin) and have long maintained that the wrong Nicole Simpson was beheaded.

"Great Choice!" says the site!

But what does it say that you can still order these two jerseys and NOT anything to do with Vick? I thought that might be some writer's creative license, but damned if I didn't go to the NFL shopping site and try it out it for myself.

I also tried and could order a Cardinals jersey for "Rozier." A Rams jersey for "Phillips." And because of where I now live, I won't even editorialize on how many purple 52 "Lewis" jerseys I see every single day.

Wow. Obviously, I have zero sympathy or compassion for Vick. Not only did he (alledgedly) commit inhumane and despicable acts, he tarnished my hometown franchise, made us feel comfortable dealing away Matt Schaub (9-12, 102 passer rating today for the Texans) and saddled us with British Open winner Padraig Harrington's less accomplished cousin. Plus, he fucked my fantasy team, and panicked me into trading for a Vanderbilt Commodore. The only good that can possibly come of this is if JD Stokely (er, sorry, Lou Holtz moment there) DJ Shockley wins the Falcons job and opens a center for abused animals and wayward STD victims.

But it seems that for all his welcome tough guy crackdown on crime and bad behavior, NFL Commisioner Roger Goodell should close this little web shopping loophole.