The preamble:
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody:
100 - 81
80 - 61
60 - 41
40 - 21
Heading for the finish line!
20 Rockwell: “Somebody’s Watching Me”
Originally, I thought this was another case of nepotism, as Rockwell is really Kennedy Gordy, son of Motown Guru Berry Gordy. Daddy probably said “here’s a song, and take some Jacksons with you to sing backup.” However, the younger Gordy steadfastly maintains that he kept his identity secret, and got signed and recorded his album without his dad being aware. So good for you, Rockwell. Though now, when you hear MJ sing about someone watching him, all I can think about is child services. N
19 Dead or Alive: “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)”
The Crying Game dude, before there was an actual movie with a Crying Game dude. And would kids today even understand what “like a record” means? Maybe he should do an updated version about being “plugged like a USB.” N
18 Rob Base & DJ E-Z Rock: “It Takes Two”
Not being a big fan of hip hop, I don’t recall that much about this song. But Wikipedia tells me that “In David Simon's 1991 book, Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets, which covers the Baltimore Police Department's Homicide department in 1988, Simon calls the song "the summer's hands-down winner for Sound of the Ghetto" and uses its lyrics to frame a chapter summarizing murders and other violent acts that occur over the course of the summer.” And if it’s good enough for the creator of The Wire, it’s good enough for me. N
17 Men Without Hats: “The Safety Dance”
Okay, just like everybody ran in place with “Maniac,” I’m sure everybody made a big “S” with their arms here, right? The band’s name always makes me giggle. And they had a mandolin playing dwarf in the video. That’s all I got. N
16 Nena: “99 Luft Balloons”
Who else thought Nena was kinda hot? Like a Teutonic Chrissy Hynde or something? And nobody in high school knew what the fuck a “luft balloon” was. On the TV show, they showed her now, and she’s even hotter at 50+ than she was back in the day. Maybe I should write a song about balloons. N
15 Devo: “Whip It”
Devo a one hit wonder? No love for “Working in a Coal Mine?” H
14 Big Country: “In A Big Country”
Everybody has one of those bands, or songs, that just rubs them the wrong way. This song was one of those for me. I don’t necessarily dislike it now, but at the time, every time I heard some fucking synthy bagpipe, I would reach for the volume and scream “Do Not Want!” N
13 Thomas Dolby: “She Blinded Me With Science”
Good heavens Miss Sakamoto, who doesn’t love this? This was, and remains, just a funky wacky good time song. My personal memory of this was that during my senior year in high school, I went to Atlanta for a weekend FBLA competition. One of my pals had been "challenged" by a couple of grades, and was older than I was. That’s relevant, because he could walk into a liquor store near the hotel and by a couple of bottles of vodka. Now, my parents were very open about booze and such, and I had knocked back a beer, glass of wine or cocktail every once in a while, and didn’t really wind up being one of those crazy high school kids that winds up in rehab. (I would save all my significant liver damage for college and beyond. Ya know, when I was mature). But for some reason, after the competition and before that evening’s “dance party,” Steve pulled out the vodka and we started mixing up kamikazes (which I think was actually just vodka and Sprite). We went down the dance, started cutting a rug and having a good old time. He brought another pint in his jacket, and we wound up getting completely shit-faced. I think it must have been my first real bender. I was really shy by nature, but this certainly loosened me up, and I wound up dancing with and talking to a pretty girl from Valdosta named Sandra. (“Blinded Me With Science” was one of the songs I distinctly recall from the evening). We spent the whole party together, and I ended up making out with her a little and getting her phone number. It’s a good thing I was being suave early in the evening, because later, I woke up fully clothed in the bathtub with no shoes, and no recollection of the past few hours. We eventually found one of my shoes in the ice machine (???), and I found Sandra’s number in my pants pocket. Over the summer after graduation, we called and wrote letters (Holy Shit. Kids today won’t even understand what it was like before cheap long distance, before cell phones, before texting, before email and facebook and twitter, when you ran to the mailbox each morning to see if you got a handwritten letter that was SWAK. Fuck. I’m old. Get off my lawn!), and eventually, I went down there to see her for a few days. She was really cool, and we kept in touch for a while, before we both wound up going off to college. I guess it was a bit like Danny and Sandy from Grease. Except I think she was German, not Australian. And we went off to college, not back to senior year in high school. And I don't remember her getting a black spandex makeover. And we never got in touch again. Actually, it was nothing like Grease, I don’t know what I was saying. Anyhoo, that’s what I think of when I hear this song. H
12 Animotion: “Obsession”
Not a big fan of this song. But I do like obsession. N
11 Gary Numan: “Cars”
Not a big fan of this song, either. But I do like cars. N
10 Frankie Goes to Hollywood: “Relax”
Who still has a “Frankie Says ‘Relax’” t-shirt? Not that it wouldn’t be like applying a tourniquet, if it was one from back in the day. Still a good song. And still good advice, all these years later. Like thinking about baseball. H
9 Kajagoogoo: “Too Shy”
That’s one of those band names you throw out when you want to essentially sum up 80s one hit wonders. Kajagoogoo. Just say it slowly. Kajagoogoo. No, we weren’t too proud (or too shy!) in the 80s. The lead singer’s hair look like he skinned a Persian cat, put it on his head, and then rubbed it vigorously with a balloon (but probably not a luft balloon) N
8 Bow Wow Wow: “I Want Candy”
A nubile 15 year old with a great rack and a Mohawk, singing about candy. What’s not to love? (Wait, you don’t have to register with the police and talk to the neighbors if you type that, do you?) H
7 Modern English: “I Melt With You”
This song has been featured in so many movies and compilations, it’s almost the anthem of the 80s. Who didn’t sing this to their girlfriend back then? Great then, great now. H
6 Toni Basil: “Mickey”
This is the flip side of “I Melt With You.” Just as ubiquitous in 80s retrospectives, but annoying as hell then, annoying as hell now. I think the only time I appreciated it was when it was used in Bring It On. N
5 Soft Cell: “Tainted Love”
English new wave synth combined with Gloria Jones and the Supremes? Oh yeah, this is still good. H
4 Tommy Tutone: “867-5309 / Jenny”
I don’t know what it is about this song, but it is still one of the most played in my iTunes library. Tommy Tutone certainly wasn’t part of the Tiger Beat, telegenic parade of pop idols in the 80s (like, say Duran Duran), nor did they ever reach the charts with anything else, but this really and truly is just a perfect slice of pop rock that endures after all these years. A great, fun song, even today. Personal memory: in the area where I went to high school, 867 was a local exchange. So naturally after the song became popular (and before the era of caller ID, or ten digit dialing), every teen called 867-5309 and asked for “Jenny.” And OF COURSE it was an old, retired lady who didn’t have the first clue about what the fuck was going on. And OF COURSE the local news did a feature about local hooligans harassing this poor senior citizen because of some “rock song.” Hee. Now, since everyone has BlackBerries and iPhones and the like, you don’t have to remember anyone’s phone number. I bet anyone over 40 couldn’t tell you their best friend’s phone number, or their girlfriend’s number, but they could sure as hell tell you Jenny’s. H
3 A-Ha: “Take On Me”
The song and video were so popular, A-Ha got tapped to do a Bond theme. Anyone remember “The Living Daylights” as a song? Uh, no. Poor Timothy Dalton, who was an underrated Bond, stuck with bad scripts and movies. This was a good song for the era, but an ALL TIME video. N
2 Flock of Seagulls: “I Ran (So Far Away)”
Hair? H
1 Dexys Midnight Runners: “Come on Eileen”
While I might have missed the nuance of what was really going on with “Turning Japanese,” I think I may have read way too much into this one, just based on the title. N
Showing posts with label one hit wonders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label one hit wonders. Show all posts
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80s 40 - 21
I was flipping channels yesterday, and caught part of VH-1's countdown of the Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80s. It dawned on me that I had started blogging though this countdown before, and never actually finished the list. In fact, it was almost exactly a year ago when I kind of lost the thread around #41. If you're new to the blog and want to check those posts out, or want to revisit them before proceeding onward, you can do so here:
100 - 81
80 - 61
60 - 41
Here's the preamble:
The preamble:
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as we jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody.
Now, one year later, let's resume the countdown, starting with #40:
40 The Buggles: “Video Killed the Radio Star”
By now, I think everyone knows this was the first video played on MTV. Have you looked at the channel lately? These days, the tune could be “Vapid Attention Seeking Teenage Whores Killed the Video Star.” Good trivia I didn’t know: Keyboardist Geoff Downes went on to form 80s supergroup Asia. H
39 Matthew Wilder: “Break My Stride”
One of the more annoying tunes on the countdown. Once you hear it, you need some mental Clorox to get it out of your head. N
38 Bruce Willis: “Respect Yourself”
Another celebrity vanity project. Not as irony free and tone deaf as Don Johnson’s, and John McClane is much of a badass than Sonny Crockett. Also, this was around the time that Bruce was shilling for (sing along) Seagrams…..Golden Wine Coolers. My mom loved those things, and we were all fans of Die Hard and Moonlighting, so every time mom wanted one of those “drinks,” my dad would sing Bruce’s jingle. I probably would have preferred “Respect Yourself.” (Though really, if you did respect yourself, you probably wouldn’t be singing about wine coolers). N
37 Lipps, Inc.: “Funkytown”
A classic of the disco era, that just arrived too late for the disco movement proper, and also an astonishing lyrical achievement that reportedly made Bob Dylan weep with jealousy. What I remember most about this song was that it was always played at this cheesy amusement park in my area, called “Lake Winnepesauka.” I went there with some friends one time, and we got in the spinning cylinder ride, where the floor drops out and you’re pinned to the wall by centrifugal force. Well, one of my buddies had eaten one chili dog too many, and barfed during the ride. It barely escaped from his face and the front of his shirt, but everyone on the ride knew what was going on, and we were dreading the eventual slowing of the ride, since the bubbling stew would then start to make its way around the cylinder. Yeah, I always think of that with Funkytown. H
36 Weather Girls: “It’s Raining Men”
Letterman’s Paul Schaffer actually co-wrote this eminently danceable ditty, about a meteorological event only slightly less believable than the conclusion of Magnolia. One of the singers, Martha Wash, went on to provide the voice (but not the lip synching hot bod) for C+C Music Factory. Last year, the song was co-opted in a funny video mocking the dimwitted bigots opposing marriage equality. (I was going to put a link to it here, but the video has been taken down from YouTube for a “copyright violation” because it uses some of the laughable scenes from the “National Organization for Marriage” fear-mongering hate vid). Regardless of your sexual orientation, I think we can all agree that the best way to get men would not be via "rain." Wouldn't that be, its very best, messy? Could an umbrella, even one created by The Penguin, withstand a 200 pound studmuffin dropping out of the sky? And would your really want your "man" after he had fallen from the clouds onto the pavement? H
35 Tom Tom Club: “Genius of Love”
Chris Franz and Tina Weymouth to a break from Talking Heads to pen this tune, which was always a dance floor favorite. H
34 The Waitresses: “I Know What Boys Like”
Okay, forget what I said about Matthew Wilder. THIS is the most annoying song of the 80s. Yeah, it captured the new wave attitude of the 80s perfectly, but this on repeat could force me to confess to crimes I didn’t commit. N
33 John Waite: “Missing You”
I remembered Waite from his work with the Babys, a very underrated 70s band, but you couldn’t escape this particular song in the 80s. It’s a little melancholy for my taste, and I actually preferred another song from his first album, called “Change.” H
32 Quarterflash: “Harden My Heart”
This was a great song, and who didn’t have a crush on the frizzy haired, vulnerable sounding chick in spandex who could also wail on the sax? From the same album, “Find Another Fool” was also a good track. Y
31 Bobby McFerrin: “Don’t Worry Be Happy”
Oh lord. What started out as a charming little instrument-free lark turned into the earworm of the 80s. It was the first a capella song to top the Billboard charts. N
30 The Vapors: “Turning Japanese”
When this song was released, I was early on in high school, and I don’t think I really got the gist of song’s meaning. It was a guy talking about a picture of his girlfriend, and I thought he had stared at it so long and so intently, he just began squinting. However, as I got older, and really thought about it (especially this lyric: “No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women; No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark”), I realized it was quite obviously an ode to masturbation, joining such other self-gratification tunes like “She Bop,” “You and UR Hand,” “The Stroke,” “Dancing with Myself,” “Blister in the Sun,” “I Touch Myself” and “Darling Nikki.” Wow. There are a lot of songs about masturbating. And I knew all those off the top of my head. I wonder what that means. H
29 Madness: “Our House”
Another song that got played to death in the 80s, that I used to like but just became sick of eventually. And I know it was a massive radio and MTV hit, far overshadowing anything else Madness did, but they also enjoyed some success with “It Must Be Love” and “One Step Beyond,” which I recall seeing on MTV first, and which I actually like better. (N – “Our House”; Y – “One Step Beyond”)
28 John Parr: “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)”
The Brat Pack grows up. Mostly, I remember the movie for Rob Lowe playing saxophone, Emilio Estevez stalking Andie MacDowell and Demi Moore being the hottest cokehead since Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. Some interesting trivia about the song: it was written by prolific composer David Foster and John Parr about a dude in a wheelchair who was rolling around the world to raise awareness for spinal cord injuries. Also, it never appeared on a John Parr album. And again, this is another where I question the moniker of “One Hit Wonder,” as you couldn’t escape “Naughty Naughty” on MTV and pop/rock radio in the 80s. N
27 Stacey Q: “Two of Hearts”
Now here’s a true One Hit Wonder. Did you know Stacey Q appeared on The Facts of Life as a rival to Tootie, named “Cinnamon?” And she sang this song? No, I didn’t either. N
26 Cutting Crew: “I Just Died In Your Arms”
Another song about an orgasm, though unlike “Turning Japanese,” someone else is involved in the act (hence the “your arms” part). The writer dreamed this up just after boning his girlfriend. Musically, he didn’t get it up again. Y
25 Musical Youth: “Pass the Dutchie”
I wasn’t too hep to the slang for the Devil’s Parsley in high school, so I had no idea what was going on with this song. Evidently, it was a remake of song dealing directly with sparking up, called “Pass the Koutchie.” (I wouldn’t have known what the hell a Koutchie was either, but apparently, it’s a bong). When a bunch of kids did the cover, they changed it to “dutchie” and changed the lyric “how does it feel when you got no herb” to “how does it feel when you got no food.” Isn’t that a little depressing for a reggae song by a bunch of kids? Though when I was in college, given the choice, I probably would have forsaken the food. And what the hell was a “dutchie?” If they were hungry, they could have changed it to “Debbie,” to mean a Little Debbie. I loved Swiss Cake Rolls. I would imagine they're even better if you're high, so it all fits together. The group’s efforts to sanitize the tune came back to bite them, however, as eventually “dutchie” came to refer to a blunt. N
24 Edie Brickell & New Bohemians: “What I Am”
Man, there were a lot of ska influences in the 80s. I think I first became aware of the movement listening to the English Beat (who were awesome, and still pop up regularly in my various playlists). This was one of those songs you either loved or hated. I loved it, and hell, most of their first album, too, though the band never saw the success of this single. And then Edie Brickell married Paul Simon. Princess Leia and the “What I Am” chick. Not bad, Paul Simon. Not bad. H
23 Eddy Grant: “Electric Avenue”
“BOY!” The first zillion times I heard this song, I thought he kept screaming “OY!” and it was some bizarre hybrid of English, reggae, electronica and Yiddish. Also, didn’t all the Lectroids from Planet 10 look like Eddy Grant? “BOY!” N
22 Michael Sembello: “Maniac”
Okay, when you read the title of this song, you started running in place and running your hands up and down your legs, didn’t you? Don’t lie. Much like “Dutchie,” this was originally about something entirely different. Take a song a maniacal serial killer and turn it into a tune about a dancing steelworker? No problem! H
21 Twisted Sister: “We’re Not Gonna Take It”
Anything that pisses off Tipper Gore is A-OK in my book. And the video also brought back Mark Metcalf (Douglas C. Niedermeyer himself!), and led to his sublime turn as The Master on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. N
100 - 81
80 - 61
60 - 41
Here's the preamble:
The preamble:
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as we jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody.
Now, one year later, let's resume the countdown, starting with #40:
40 The Buggles: “Video Killed the Radio Star”
By now, I think everyone knows this was the first video played on MTV. Have you looked at the channel lately? These days, the tune could be “Vapid Attention Seeking Teenage Whores Killed the Video Star.” Good trivia I didn’t know: Keyboardist Geoff Downes went on to form 80s supergroup Asia. H
39 Matthew Wilder: “Break My Stride”
One of the more annoying tunes on the countdown. Once you hear it, you need some mental Clorox to get it out of your head. N
38 Bruce Willis: “Respect Yourself”
Another celebrity vanity project. Not as irony free and tone deaf as Don Johnson’s, and John McClane is much of a badass than Sonny Crockett. Also, this was around the time that Bruce was shilling for (sing along) Seagrams…..Golden Wine Coolers. My mom loved those things, and we were all fans of Die Hard and Moonlighting, so every time mom wanted one of those “drinks,” my dad would sing Bruce’s jingle. I probably would have preferred “Respect Yourself.” (Though really, if you did respect yourself, you probably wouldn’t be singing about wine coolers). N
37 Lipps, Inc.: “Funkytown”
A classic of the disco era, that just arrived too late for the disco movement proper, and also an astonishing lyrical achievement that reportedly made Bob Dylan weep with jealousy. What I remember most about this song was that it was always played at this cheesy amusement park in my area, called “Lake Winnepesauka.” I went there with some friends one time, and we got in the spinning cylinder ride, where the floor drops out and you’re pinned to the wall by centrifugal force. Well, one of my buddies had eaten one chili dog too many, and barfed during the ride. It barely escaped from his face and the front of his shirt, but everyone on the ride knew what was going on, and we were dreading the eventual slowing of the ride, since the bubbling stew would then start to make its way around the cylinder. Yeah, I always think of that with Funkytown. H
36 Weather Girls: “It’s Raining Men”
Letterman’s Paul Schaffer actually co-wrote this eminently danceable ditty, about a meteorological event only slightly less believable than the conclusion of Magnolia. One of the singers, Martha Wash, went on to provide the voice (but not the lip synching hot bod) for C+C Music Factory. Last year, the song was co-opted in a funny video mocking the dimwitted bigots opposing marriage equality. (I was going to put a link to it here, but the video has been taken down from YouTube for a “copyright violation” because it uses some of the laughable scenes from the “National Organization for Marriage” fear-mongering hate vid). Regardless of your sexual orientation, I think we can all agree that the best way to get men would not be via "rain." Wouldn't that be, its very best, messy? Could an umbrella, even one created by The Penguin, withstand a 200 pound studmuffin dropping out of the sky? And would your really want your "man" after he had fallen from the clouds onto the pavement? H
35 Tom Tom Club: “Genius of Love”
Chris Franz and Tina Weymouth to a break from Talking Heads to pen this tune, which was always a dance floor favorite. H
34 The Waitresses: “I Know What Boys Like”
Okay, forget what I said about Matthew Wilder. THIS is the most annoying song of the 80s. Yeah, it captured the new wave attitude of the 80s perfectly, but this on repeat could force me to confess to crimes I didn’t commit. N
33 John Waite: “Missing You”
I remembered Waite from his work with the Babys, a very underrated 70s band, but you couldn’t escape this particular song in the 80s. It’s a little melancholy for my taste, and I actually preferred another song from his first album, called “Change.” H
32 Quarterflash: “Harden My Heart”
This was a great song, and who didn’t have a crush on the frizzy haired, vulnerable sounding chick in spandex who could also wail on the sax? From the same album, “Find Another Fool” was also a good track. Y
31 Bobby McFerrin: “Don’t Worry Be Happy”
Oh lord. What started out as a charming little instrument-free lark turned into the earworm of the 80s. It was the first a capella song to top the Billboard charts. N
30 The Vapors: “Turning Japanese”
When this song was released, I was early on in high school, and I don’t think I really got the gist of song’s meaning. It was a guy talking about a picture of his girlfriend, and I thought he had stared at it so long and so intently, he just began squinting. However, as I got older, and really thought about it (especially this lyric: “No sex, no drugs, no wine, no women; No fun, no sin, no you, no wonder it's dark”), I realized it was quite obviously an ode to masturbation, joining such other self-gratification tunes like “She Bop,” “You and UR Hand,” “The Stroke,” “Dancing with Myself,” “Blister in the Sun,” “I Touch Myself” and “Darling Nikki.” Wow. There are a lot of songs about masturbating. And I knew all those off the top of my head. I wonder what that means. H
29 Madness: “Our House”
Another song that got played to death in the 80s, that I used to like but just became sick of eventually. And I know it was a massive radio and MTV hit, far overshadowing anything else Madness did, but they also enjoyed some success with “It Must Be Love” and “One Step Beyond,” which I recall seeing on MTV first, and which I actually like better. (N – “Our House”; Y – “One Step Beyond”)
28 John Parr: “St. Elmo’s Fire (Man In Motion)”
The Brat Pack grows up. Mostly, I remember the movie for Rob Lowe playing saxophone, Emilio Estevez stalking Andie MacDowell and Demi Moore being the hottest cokehead since Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. Some interesting trivia about the song: it was written by prolific composer David Foster and John Parr about a dude in a wheelchair who was rolling around the world to raise awareness for spinal cord injuries. Also, it never appeared on a John Parr album. And again, this is another where I question the moniker of “One Hit Wonder,” as you couldn’t escape “Naughty Naughty” on MTV and pop/rock radio in the 80s. N
27 Stacey Q: “Two of Hearts”
Now here’s a true One Hit Wonder. Did you know Stacey Q appeared on The Facts of Life as a rival to Tootie, named “Cinnamon?” And she sang this song? No, I didn’t either. N
26 Cutting Crew: “I Just Died In Your Arms”
Another song about an orgasm, though unlike “Turning Japanese,” someone else is involved in the act (hence the “your arms” part). The writer dreamed this up just after boning his girlfriend. Musically, he didn’t get it up again. Y
25 Musical Youth: “Pass the Dutchie”
I wasn’t too hep to the slang for the Devil’s Parsley in high school, so I had no idea what was going on with this song. Evidently, it was a remake of song dealing directly with sparking up, called “Pass the Koutchie.” (I wouldn’t have known what the hell a Koutchie was either, but apparently, it’s a bong). When a bunch of kids did the cover, they changed it to “dutchie” and changed the lyric “how does it feel when you got no herb” to “how does it feel when you got no food.” Isn’t that a little depressing for a reggae song by a bunch of kids? Though when I was in college, given the choice, I probably would have forsaken the food. And what the hell was a “dutchie?” If they were hungry, they could have changed it to “Debbie,” to mean a Little Debbie. I loved Swiss Cake Rolls. I would imagine they're even better if you're high, so it all fits together. The group’s efforts to sanitize the tune came back to bite them, however, as eventually “dutchie” came to refer to a blunt. N
24 Edie Brickell & New Bohemians: “What I Am”
Man, there were a lot of ska influences in the 80s. I think I first became aware of the movement listening to the English Beat (who were awesome, and still pop up regularly in my various playlists). This was one of those songs you either loved or hated. I loved it, and hell, most of their first album, too, though the band never saw the success of this single. And then Edie Brickell married Paul Simon. Princess Leia and the “What I Am” chick. Not bad, Paul Simon. Not bad. H
23 Eddy Grant: “Electric Avenue”
“BOY!” The first zillion times I heard this song, I thought he kept screaming “OY!” and it was some bizarre hybrid of English, reggae, electronica and Yiddish. Also, didn’t all the Lectroids from Planet 10 look like Eddy Grant? “BOY!” N
22 Michael Sembello: “Maniac”
Okay, when you read the title of this song, you started running in place and running your hands up and down your legs, didn’t you? Don’t lie. Much like “Dutchie,” this was originally about something entirely different. Take a song a maniacal serial killer and turn it into a tune about a dancing steelworker? No problem! H
21 Twisted Sister: “We’re Not Gonna Take It”
Anything that pisses off Tipper Gore is A-OK in my book. And the video also brought back Mark Metcalf (Douglas C. Niedermeyer himself!), and led to his sublime turn as The Master on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. N
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80s 60 - 41
The preamble:
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as we jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody.
100 - 81
80 - 61
60 Nu Shooz “I Can’t Wait”
An very catchy dance track from the 80s. (Although are they really "one hit?" They did have "Point of No Return" on the charts, too). H
59 The Outfield “Your Love”
“Josie’s on a vacation far away.” Who didn’t sing along to that when it came on the radio back the day? An absolutely perfect pop song of the era. Y
58 Don Johnson “Heartbeat”
What was worse, this song or his marriage to Melanie Griffith? Or Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, the sinkhole of which Mickey Rourke is only now escaping (though the boxing, the babes, the drugs, the surgery might have played a role, too, so we can't blame it all on Sonny Crockett). If you’re gonna have a star trip vanity recording, at least get fucked up in the studio with Rick James (bitch), a la #80 on this list. N
57 Jermaine Stewart “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off”
I had a girlfriend in college who loved this song, and we used to dance to it all the time. She thought it was making a point, as she wanted to “save herself for marriage.” Well, after a “drink and drown” night at O’Malley’s, we didn’t listen to it to much anymore. N
56 Til Tuesday “Voices Carry”
Great song and video. Aimee Mann is still making music (the awesome Magnolia soundtrack, for example) and even showed up on an episode of Buffy. (speaking of which, the douchebag boyfriend in this video looks like a young James Marsters). H
55 Johnny Kemp “Just Got Paid”
I vaguely recall this song from college. I think one of my exes was still in high school, giving this song a somewhat different meaning. N
54 Chris DeBurgh “Lady in Red”
Wow, you couldn’t escape this schmaltz on MTV, or anywhere, for that matter. I remember that his “Don’t Pay the Ferryman” was one of the first handful of videos I saw on the channel. Back when they played videos. N
53 Taco “Puttin’ On the Ritz”
How in the world was this a hit in the 80s? A eurosynth version of a 1929 Irving Berlin tune? Of course, I always think of this, which is much better. Y
52 Mary Jane Girls “In My House”
Someone else benefiting from the Rich James (bitch) touch. At first, I thought they may have been named after the shoes or Peter Parker’s girlfriend. I was kinda naive back then, and there wasn’t an urban dictionary readily accessible on the not yet invented internet via my not yet invented blackberry. Of course, once I got to college, I understood all that perfectly. Spider-man’s chick my ass. Y
51 After the Fire “Der Kommissar”
Another one of those head scratchers. An English band, takes a German song by Falco, and gets an inescapable top 40 hit. Although with lyrics like “zhuh, zhuh” and “cha! cha! cha!” you probably could have predicted that. N
50 Neneh Cherry “Buffalo Stance”
I never really understood what the hell this was about. Did it have to do with chicken wings? Maybe wobbling like Jim Kelly coming out of bar at closing time? (True story: on a trip back from Buffalo a few years ago, I was sitting next Jim Kelly in first class. Between the two of us, I think we knocked back the entire drink cart on a two hour flight. Seemed like a nice guy. He asked me how to make his computer play movies. He wasn’t the brightest bulb on the string of xmas lights). An ode to native American hunting? N
49 Philip Bailey (w/ Phil Collins) “Easy Lover”
I saw Earth Wind and Fire a few years ago in concert, and Philip Bailey still has a remarkable voice. I’m sure the girl this song was written about was flattered. H
48 Yello “Oh Yeah”
Another WTF song on its surface, that everyone now knows as “The Ferris Bueller Song.” How do you ever do anything after this? N
47 Pretty Poison “Catch Me I’m Falling”
I remember the song, and being mesmerized by the big haired, red headed hottie in the video. N
46 Georgia Satellites “Keep Your Hands To Yourself”
Fun, catchy, and doing absolutely nothing to dispel stereotypes about my home state. N
45 Robbie Nevil “C’est La Vie”
I had forgotten all about this one. Good little pop song. Robbie later went on to write the theme song to Hannah Montana. Y
44 Wall of Voodoo “Mexican Radio”
Besides the ultra disturbing image of a face emerging out of beans in the video (and I think there were a few, trippy late night visits to Krystal when I thought this may happen at any second and had to be talked down from the ledge), this was a classic college radio tune. H
43 Shannon “Let the Music Play”
It’s odd when your name appears in popular music. I wish my namesake had done something more iconic than a standard 80s dance tune. Of course, Del Shannon did “Runaway.” And there was that song “Shannon” about a dead dog. Too bad my parents didn’t name me “Gloria.” Or “Mack the Knife.” N
42 Timbuk 3 “The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades”
If iPods and digital downloads had been around in college, I could have saved $8 and just bought the single, instead of the whole cassette. I could use that $8 now. Y
41 Billy Vera “At This Moment”
One of those “torch songs” that seems to have escaped from one era and found its way into another. Based on the airplay and Alex P. Keaton connection, I thought this would have rated much higher on the list. Also, how cool is this: Billy Vera appeared in the cult classic "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension." Y
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as we jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody.
100 - 81
80 - 61
60 Nu Shooz “I Can’t Wait”
An very catchy dance track from the 80s. (Although are they really "one hit?" They did have "Point of No Return" on the charts, too). H
59 The Outfield “Your Love”
“Josie’s on a vacation far away.” Who didn’t sing along to that when it came on the radio back the day? An absolutely perfect pop song of the era. Y
58 Don Johnson “Heartbeat”
What was worse, this song or his marriage to Melanie Griffith? Or Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man, the sinkhole of which Mickey Rourke is only now escaping (though the boxing, the babes, the drugs, the surgery might have played a role, too, so we can't blame it all on Sonny Crockett). If you’re gonna have a star trip vanity recording, at least get fucked up in the studio with Rick James (bitch), a la #80 on this list. N
57 Jermaine Stewart “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off”
I had a girlfriend in college who loved this song, and we used to dance to it all the time. She thought it was making a point, as she wanted to “save herself for marriage.” Well, after a “drink and drown” night at O’Malley’s, we didn’t listen to it to much anymore. N
56 Til Tuesday “Voices Carry”
Great song and video. Aimee Mann is still making music (the awesome Magnolia soundtrack, for example) and even showed up on an episode of Buffy. (speaking of which, the douchebag boyfriend in this video looks like a young James Marsters). H
55 Johnny Kemp “Just Got Paid”
I vaguely recall this song from college. I think one of my exes was still in high school, giving this song a somewhat different meaning. N
54 Chris DeBurgh “Lady in Red”
Wow, you couldn’t escape this schmaltz on MTV, or anywhere, for that matter. I remember that his “Don’t Pay the Ferryman” was one of the first handful of videos I saw on the channel. Back when they played videos. N
53 Taco “Puttin’ On the Ritz”
How in the world was this a hit in the 80s? A eurosynth version of a 1929 Irving Berlin tune? Of course, I always think of this, which is much better. Y
52 Mary Jane Girls “In My House”
Someone else benefiting from the Rich James (bitch) touch. At first, I thought they may have been named after the shoes or Peter Parker’s girlfriend. I was kinda naive back then, and there wasn’t an urban dictionary readily accessible on the not yet invented internet via my not yet invented blackberry. Of course, once I got to college, I understood all that perfectly. Spider-man’s chick my ass. Y
51 After the Fire “Der Kommissar”
Another one of those head scratchers. An English band, takes a German song by Falco, and gets an inescapable top 40 hit. Although with lyrics like “zhuh, zhuh” and “cha! cha! cha!” you probably could have predicted that. N
50 Neneh Cherry “Buffalo Stance”
I never really understood what the hell this was about. Did it have to do with chicken wings? Maybe wobbling like Jim Kelly coming out of bar at closing time? (True story: on a trip back from Buffalo a few years ago, I was sitting next Jim Kelly in first class. Between the two of us, I think we knocked back the entire drink cart on a two hour flight. Seemed like a nice guy. He asked me how to make his computer play movies. He wasn’t the brightest bulb on the string of xmas lights). An ode to native American hunting? N
49 Philip Bailey (w/ Phil Collins) “Easy Lover”
I saw Earth Wind and Fire a few years ago in concert, and Philip Bailey still has a remarkable voice. I’m sure the girl this song was written about was flattered. H
48 Yello “Oh Yeah”
Another WTF song on its surface, that everyone now knows as “The Ferris Bueller Song.” How do you ever do anything after this? N
47 Pretty Poison “Catch Me I’m Falling”
I remember the song, and being mesmerized by the big haired, red headed hottie in the video. N
46 Georgia Satellites “Keep Your Hands To Yourself”
Fun, catchy, and doing absolutely nothing to dispel stereotypes about my home state. N
45 Robbie Nevil “C’est La Vie”
I had forgotten all about this one. Good little pop song. Robbie later went on to write the theme song to Hannah Montana. Y
44 Wall of Voodoo “Mexican Radio”
Besides the ultra disturbing image of a face emerging out of beans in the video (and I think there were a few, trippy late night visits to Krystal when I thought this may happen at any second and had to be talked down from the ledge), this was a classic college radio tune. H
43 Shannon “Let the Music Play”
It’s odd when your name appears in popular music. I wish my namesake had done something more iconic than a standard 80s dance tune. Of course, Del Shannon did “Runaway.” And there was that song “Shannon” about a dead dog. Too bad my parents didn’t name me “Gloria.” Or “Mack the Knife.” N
42 Timbuk 3 “The Future’s So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades”
If iPods and digital downloads had been around in college, I could have saved $8 and just bought the single, instead of the whole cassette. I could use that $8 now. Y
41 Billy Vera “At This Moment”
One of those “torch songs” that seems to have escaped from one era and found its way into another. Based on the airplay and Alex P. Keaton connection, I thought this would have rated much higher on the list. Also, how cool is this: Billy Vera appeared in the cult classic "The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension." Y
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80s 80 - 61
For those just tuning in:
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as we jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody.
Part 1 is here.
And away we go:
80 Eddie Murphy: “Party All The Time”
Yes, it was a vanity project for one of the largest (at the time) and most narcissistic stars. But he got a drugged up Rick James (bitch) to help out, and damn if it’s not catchy. I think I put this on a “dance party” mix tape. If it was Eddie, and not the girl, who liked to "party all the time," that might better explain Pluto Nash. And Meet Dave. And Norbit. N
79 Alannah Myles: “Black Velvet”
When this song came out, I was “between cars,” since I had had two consecutive new VWs stolen from my apartment. My dad helped out, and bought me another car, this time an older Monte Carlo. It was in great shape, but it was white, with a dusky rose crushed velour interior (bench seating!), landau top and wire wheels. Yes, I was the palest pimp in the Marietta area. I was also hanging out a lot with a friend of mine’s soon to be ex-wife, and we both loved this tune. H
78 Aldo Nova: “Fantasy”
Remember this video? Where Aldo Nova, in skin tight leopard print, arrives in a helicopter and uses his guitar as a laser beam? If that doesn’t say “80s,” I don’t know what does. Nova was Canadian, like Alannah Myles and several others on this list. Maybe there’s some truth to the How I Met Your Mother theory that it takes decades for things to get from Canada down to the States. So perhaps their “second” hits are just around the corner. This was a great song to have blasting in HS when you were driving 90 MPH around country roads. H
77 General Public: “Tenderness”
After one of my favorite 80s bands, English Beat, split up, one part of the band went on to form Fine Young Cannibals, and the other part formed this band, who only had the one hit, which is awesome. (the song, not that they only had one hit). Y
76 J.J. Fad: “Supersonic”
I wasn’t too crazy about rap (though I used to know all the words to “Rapper’s Delight”) back in the 80s, so I have absolutely no memory of this song. N
75 Bertie Higgins: “Key Largo”
How bad could a song be that invokes Bogie and Bacall? Eh, the movie was much better. My parents loved this song though. N
74 Information Society: “What’s On Your Mind (Pure Energy)”
This was one of the lesser europop dance pop songs, though I did really like that whole genre. What did I learn from the VH1 special? The “pure energy” sample in the song is Mr. Spock from Star Trek. Could they have exited the ranks of “one hit wonders” with a follow up using “KHAAAAAAAAAAN!”? Maybe. N
73 Paul Hardcastle: “19″
Wasn’t this one of the oddest top 10 hits ever? A spoken word sample from a Vietnam War documentary put to a synth pop beat by an English dude. Weird. (Plus, it turns out the info was wrong – the average age of the soldier was 23). N
72 Swing Out Sister: “Breakout”
The song was okay, but I loved the lead singer’s hair, a short, dark, razor sharp bob, and one of my pseudo girlfriends at the time got that cut. Ahhh, that brings back fond memories. I think I’m kind of an anomaly among guys in that I’m not all that crazy about the long flowing wavy tresses. If my significant other could have one hairstyle for the rest of eternity, it would be this one. N
71 Jack Wagner: “All I Need”
Frisco Jones! Another soap star (and really good celebrity golfer, who is currently shacking up with his Melrose Place co-star Heather Locklear). This was a cheesy ballad, but I do remember one of my fraternity brother’s younger sister had just arrived on campus, and we wound up making out in her car listening to this. I probably would have preferred "Perfect Circle" or some old school Barry White, but I was drunk. N
70 Harold Faltermeyer: “Axel F”
In the summer of Beverly Hills Cop, you couldn’t escape this song. One of the few movie soundtrack hits that somehow didn’t seem to involve Kenny Loggins. N
69 T’Pau: “Heart And Soul”
Geek that I am, I know that the band was named after the old Vulcan chick who made Kirk and Spock fight to the death, after Spock’s bride to be (named T’Pring) kicked him to the curb. When the character showed up again on the Enterprise prequel, she was no longer a bitter old crone, this time played by hottie Kara Zediker , who would also show up as a member of David Palmer’s staff on the first season of 24. It's been pointed out that I watch a lot of TV. Y
68 Peter Schilling: “Major Tom”
A follow up to a David Bowie song? By someone else? Sure, why not. But you can’t find the original 80s version in English online. N
67 Martika: “Toy Soldiers”
Man, I hated this song. I didn’t realize that she was one of Prince’s girls (like Appollonia, Vanity, etc.), and you never would have know it from this tune. Where’s the funk, girl? N
66 The Jeff Healy Band: “Angel Eyes”
Another Canadian, and a hell of a guitar player. N
65 Boomtown Rats: “I Don’t Like Mondays”
As high a profile as Bob Geldof has, you’d think there would have been more than this one hit. A sugary sounding confection. About a girl who went on a shooting spree. Ahh, good times. Y
64 Robbie Dupree: “Steal Away”
They pointed out in the show that it seemed like this song should be from the 70s, and that’s exactly right. Maybe he was from Canada too? N
63 Oran “Juice” Jones: “The Rain”
The 80s was a good time to be nicknamed “Juice.” Two decades and two heads later, not so much. N
62 XTC: “Dear God”
This was XTC’s only hit? Really? What about “Senses Working Overtime?” Still, I love the sentiments expressed here. And XTC’s Andy Partridge wrote the theme song for one of my favorite TV shows, Wonderfalls. H
61 E.U.: “Da Butt”
A “do this dance song” much like The Twist, The Macarena or the Electric Slide, only much simpler, since all you need is your ass. N
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as we jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody.
Part 1 is here.
And away we go:
80 Eddie Murphy: “Party All The Time”
Yes, it was a vanity project for one of the largest (at the time) and most narcissistic stars. But he got a drugged up Rick James (bitch) to help out, and damn if it’s not catchy. I think I put this on a “dance party” mix tape. If it was Eddie, and not the girl, who liked to "party all the time," that might better explain Pluto Nash. And Meet Dave. And Norbit. N
79 Alannah Myles: “Black Velvet”
When this song came out, I was “between cars,” since I had had two consecutive new VWs stolen from my apartment. My dad helped out, and bought me another car, this time an older Monte Carlo. It was in great shape, but it was white, with a dusky rose crushed velour interior (bench seating!), landau top and wire wheels. Yes, I was the palest pimp in the Marietta area. I was also hanging out a lot with a friend of mine’s soon to be ex-wife, and we both loved this tune. H
78 Aldo Nova: “Fantasy”
Remember this video? Where Aldo Nova, in skin tight leopard print, arrives in a helicopter and uses his guitar as a laser beam? If that doesn’t say “80s,” I don’t know what does. Nova was Canadian, like Alannah Myles and several others on this list. Maybe there’s some truth to the How I Met Your Mother theory that it takes decades for things to get from Canada down to the States. So perhaps their “second” hits are just around the corner. This was a great song to have blasting in HS when you were driving 90 MPH around country roads. H
77 General Public: “Tenderness”
After one of my favorite 80s bands, English Beat, split up, one part of the band went on to form Fine Young Cannibals, and the other part formed this band, who only had the one hit, which is awesome. (the song, not that they only had one hit). Y
76 J.J. Fad: “Supersonic”
I wasn’t too crazy about rap (though I used to know all the words to “Rapper’s Delight”) back in the 80s, so I have absolutely no memory of this song. N
75 Bertie Higgins: “Key Largo”
How bad could a song be that invokes Bogie and Bacall? Eh, the movie was much better. My parents loved this song though. N
74 Information Society: “What’s On Your Mind (Pure Energy)”
This was one of the lesser europop dance pop songs, though I did really like that whole genre. What did I learn from the VH1 special? The “pure energy” sample in the song is Mr. Spock from Star Trek. Could they have exited the ranks of “one hit wonders” with a follow up using “KHAAAAAAAAAAN!”? Maybe. N
73 Paul Hardcastle: “19″
Wasn’t this one of the oddest top 10 hits ever? A spoken word sample from a Vietnam War documentary put to a synth pop beat by an English dude. Weird. (Plus, it turns out the info was wrong – the average age of the soldier was 23). N
72 Swing Out Sister: “Breakout”
The song was okay, but I loved the lead singer’s hair, a short, dark, razor sharp bob, and one of my pseudo girlfriends at the time got that cut. Ahhh, that brings back fond memories. I think I’m kind of an anomaly among guys in that I’m not all that crazy about the long flowing wavy tresses. If my significant other could have one hairstyle for the rest of eternity, it would be this one. N
71 Jack Wagner: “All I Need”
Frisco Jones! Another soap star (and really good celebrity golfer, who is currently shacking up with his Melrose Place co-star Heather Locklear). This was a cheesy ballad, but I do remember one of my fraternity brother’s younger sister had just arrived on campus, and we wound up making out in her car listening to this. I probably would have preferred "Perfect Circle" or some old school Barry White, but I was drunk. N
70 Harold Faltermeyer: “Axel F”
In the summer of Beverly Hills Cop, you couldn’t escape this song. One of the few movie soundtrack hits that somehow didn’t seem to involve Kenny Loggins. N
69 T’Pau: “Heart And Soul”
Geek that I am, I know that the band was named after the old Vulcan chick who made Kirk and Spock fight to the death, after Spock’s bride to be (named T’Pring) kicked him to the curb. When the character showed up again on the Enterprise prequel, she was no longer a bitter old crone, this time played by hottie Kara Zediker , who would also show up as a member of David Palmer’s staff on the first season of 24. It's been pointed out that I watch a lot of TV. Y
68 Peter Schilling: “Major Tom”
A follow up to a David Bowie song? By someone else? Sure, why not. But you can’t find the original 80s version in English online. N
67 Martika: “Toy Soldiers”
Man, I hated this song. I didn’t realize that she was one of Prince’s girls (like Appollonia, Vanity, etc.), and you never would have know it from this tune. Where’s the funk, girl? N
66 The Jeff Healy Band: “Angel Eyes”
Another Canadian, and a hell of a guitar player. N
65 Boomtown Rats: “I Don’t Like Mondays”
As high a profile as Bob Geldof has, you’d think there would have been more than this one hit. A sugary sounding confection. About a girl who went on a shooting spree. Ahh, good times. Y
64 Robbie Dupree: “Steal Away”
They pointed out in the show that it seemed like this song should be from the 70s, and that’s exactly right. Maybe he was from Canada too? N
63 Oran “Juice” Jones: “The Rain”
The 80s was a good time to be nicknamed “Juice.” Two decades and two heads later, not so much. N
62 XTC: “Dear God”
This was XTC’s only hit? Really? What about “Senses Working Overtime?” Still, I love the sentiments expressed here. And XTC’s Andy Partridge wrote the theme song for one of my favorite TV shows, Wonderfalls. H
61 E.U.: “Da Butt”
A “do this dance song” much like The Twist, The Macarena or the Electric Slide, only much simpler, since all you need is your ass. N
Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80s 100 - 81
I love the 80s. If there was ever a sliver of happiness in my otherwise dismal existence, it was this decade. Therefore, I have a tendency to "romance" things that occurred in the 80s, and make them seem better in my memory than they probably were in reality (though acid-washed jeans always sucked).
VH1 did another of their nostalgia-laden lists recently, counting down the Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80s. I felt it my obligation to tune in to this giant wheel of cheese and see how many of these tunes I remember, and how many I liked.
I did something similar with another VH1 countdown, examining the Greatest Songs of the 90s. If you want to read my musings on that, you can here:
Songs 100 - 81
Songs 80 - 61
Songs 60 - 41
Songs 40 - 21
Songs 20 - 1
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as we jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody.
100 Clarence Clemons (and Jackson Browne): “You’re A Friend Of Mine”
Yes, in the video, they’re dancing uncomfortably close. And Daryl Hannah, is in the video! After playing a fish and a replicant, but before Jackson Browne beat her. N
99 Michael Damian: “Rock On”
Have any other soap stars, besides Rick Springfield (who was on a fucking cartoon! Remember that?) gone on to pop stardom? N
98 Buckner & Garcia: “Pac-Man Fever”
They’re from Atlanta. And on the heels of this hit novelty song, they put out an entire album of video game songs. People think that “The Wall” or “Quadrophenia” are rock operas with a thematic tissue running throughout. But this is an entire album ABOUT VIDEO GAMES. (check out the other songs) And now, they do the songs you HEAR ON THE WAFFLE HOUSE JUKE BOX about grits and hashbrowns. How awesome is that? N
97 Will To Power: “Baby I Love Your Way / Freebird”
Today, rap artists rip off, er, sample, a hit song and do exactly what the judges on American Idol tell them: “make it your own.” In the 80s? Let’s take not one, but TWO songs from seminal 70s acts, and turn them into a Cylon hybrid of lite rock Gouda. N
96 The Fabulous Thunderbirds: “Tuff Enuff”
The legendary Stevie Ray Vaughn’s brother was the axeman for this group for a while. They sounded very similar, but one went on to superstardom, and the other, not so much. Was their similarity in style nature or nurture? N
95 Midnight Oil: “Beds are Burning”
I appreciate someone putting their political beliefs into a song, and putting their money where their mouths are, even if I don’t necessarily agree with their politics. Or like their song. The lead singer, who looks remarkably like Sloth from the Goonies (or one of "The Gentlemen" from Buffy) has gone on to a career in politics. But unless the song was remarkable, like many U2 songs that I appreciated more for their catchiness rather than their take on the IRA or whatever, I didn’t really care. This was one of those songs that I found tedious, because at the end of the day, dude couldn’t sing. And he scared me. N
94 Club Nouveau: “Lean On Me”
We be jammin! We be jamming! (Uh, don’t remake Bill Withers). N
93 L.A. Guns: “The Ballad of Jayne”
Other than the fact that the guitarist was part of the formation of Guns N’ Roses, only to quit and get replaced by Slash before they hit it big, I don’t really remember much about them. And as for songs about "Jayne," I much prefer "The Man They Called Jayne" AKA "The Hero of Canton). N
92 Frank Stallone: “Far From Over”
Oh my god. Staying Alive was one of the worst sequels in the history of mankind. But I saw it multiple times at the theatre, and still stop on it when I’m surfing channels occasionally, because I had the biggest crushes on the two chicks, Cynthia Rhodes (she was in Michael Crichton's sci-fi movie about tiny malevolent robots Runaway with Tom Selleck!) and Finola Hughes (Anna Devane!). And gasp, I actually liked this song. Y
91 Gloria Loring & Carl Anderson: “Friends And Lovers”
I hated this song, but fondly recall Gloria Loring for her TV theme songs and the fact that she was on one of the two soaps that I watched all through HS and college (Days of Our Lives, and General Hospital, though I was much more of a Days follower). Current trivia: she married Canadian import Alan Thicke (now appearing on How I Met Your Mother websites! Awesome!) and they spawned current R&B artist, Robin Thicke. N
90 Haircut 100: “Love Plus One”
This was part of the early new wave/MTV invasion, and you can’t help but love this one, even though the band name and the song make no sense whatsoever. H
89 Rodney Dangerfield: “Rappin’ Rodney”
This doesn’t diminish my love of Caddyshack nor Back to School. N
88 Nik Kershaw: “Wouldn’t it Be Good”
I fucking LOVE this song, and have been searching online for it for ages. (Note: it's not in iTunes, but you can now find it on Amazon as part of a British compilation). This is a perfect pop concoction, and moves me every time I hear it. Y
87 Vixen: “Edge Of A Broken Heart”
For people who like their strippers dancing to hair metal, but are too lazy to go to a strip club. (Richard Marx wrote this song? Who knew). N
86 Patrice Rushen: “Forget Me Nots”
I don’t recall this song at all, but instantly recognized it as the "sample" for Will Smith's Men in Black theme song. N
85 Ziggy Marley And The Melody Makers: “Tomorrow People”
The son had a top 40 hit, while unbelievably, the dad didn’t. I don’t think I got stoned to this one however. N
84 The Church: “Under The Milky Way”
Man, this is a good tune. And for some reason, I always confused The Church and The Alarm. Maybe it's because churches alarm me. H
83 Paul Lekakis: “Boom Boom Boom Let’s Go Back to My Room”
What is this about, exactly? I’m not sure what the text, or even subtext, is here. N
82 Red Rider: “Lunatic Fringe”
This song makes me think of sitting in a loft. With black lights and Fruity Pebbles. N
81 Josie Cotton: “Johnny Are You Queer?”
Well, we’ve come a long way. No one would put out a politically incorrect song like this now. Oh, wait. This was on the Valley Girl Sound track, and I had a huge crush on Deborah Foreman. So much so that I went to see April Fool’s Day. But left in the middle of it, because I was so unspeakably high that this movie scared me. So my buddy and I went to a local bar and drank whiskey until we couldn’t see straight. Needless to say...N
Back soon with the next 20 in our countdown.
VH1 did another of their nostalgia-laden lists recently, counting down the Greatest One Hit Wonders of the 80s. I felt it my obligation to tune in to this giant wheel of cheese and see how many of these tunes I remember, and how many I liked.
I did something similar with another VH1 countdown, examining the Greatest Songs of the 90s. If you want to read my musings on that, you can here:
Songs 100 - 81
Songs 80 - 61
Songs 60 - 41
Songs 40 - 21
Songs 20 - 1
As I go through the One Hit Wonder countdown, I'll offer some thoughts on the song, video or anything else that pops into my head. Also, I'll examine my iTunes library and indicate if I already have the song there (H), will be downloading it (Y) or will make like Nancy Reagan, and just say no (N). Feel free to chime in with any of your personal remembrances or anecdotes as we jump into the Wayback Machine with Sherman and Mr. Peabody.
100 Clarence Clemons (and Jackson Browne): “You’re A Friend Of Mine”
Yes, in the video, they’re dancing uncomfortably close. And Daryl Hannah, is in the video! After playing a fish and a replicant, but before Jackson Browne beat her. N
99 Michael Damian: “Rock On”
Have any other soap stars, besides Rick Springfield (who was on a fucking cartoon! Remember that?) gone on to pop stardom? N
98 Buckner & Garcia: “Pac-Man Fever”
They’re from Atlanta. And on the heels of this hit novelty song, they put out an entire album of video game songs. People think that “The Wall” or “Quadrophenia” are rock operas with a thematic tissue running throughout. But this is an entire album ABOUT VIDEO GAMES. (check out the other songs) And now, they do the songs you HEAR ON THE WAFFLE HOUSE JUKE BOX about grits and hashbrowns. How awesome is that? N
97 Will To Power: “Baby I Love Your Way / Freebird”
Today, rap artists rip off, er, sample, a hit song and do exactly what the judges on American Idol tell them: “make it your own.” In the 80s? Let’s take not one, but TWO songs from seminal 70s acts, and turn them into a Cylon hybrid of lite rock Gouda. N
96 The Fabulous Thunderbirds: “Tuff Enuff”
The legendary Stevie Ray Vaughn’s brother was the axeman for this group for a while. They sounded very similar, but one went on to superstardom, and the other, not so much. Was their similarity in style nature or nurture? N
95 Midnight Oil: “Beds are Burning”
I appreciate someone putting their political beliefs into a song, and putting their money where their mouths are, even if I don’t necessarily agree with their politics. Or like their song. The lead singer, who looks remarkably like Sloth from the Goonies (or one of "The Gentlemen" from Buffy) has gone on to a career in politics. But unless the song was remarkable, like many U2 songs that I appreciated more for their catchiness rather than their take on the IRA or whatever, I didn’t really care. This was one of those songs that I found tedious, because at the end of the day, dude couldn’t sing. And he scared me. N
94 Club Nouveau: “Lean On Me”
We be jammin! We be jamming! (Uh, don’t remake Bill Withers). N
93 L.A. Guns: “The Ballad of Jayne”
Other than the fact that the guitarist was part of the formation of Guns N’ Roses, only to quit and get replaced by Slash before they hit it big, I don’t really remember much about them. And as for songs about "Jayne," I much prefer "The Man They Called Jayne" AKA "The Hero of Canton). N
92 Frank Stallone: “Far From Over”
Oh my god. Staying Alive was one of the worst sequels in the history of mankind. But I saw it multiple times at the theatre, and still stop on it when I’m surfing channels occasionally, because I had the biggest crushes on the two chicks, Cynthia Rhodes (she was in Michael Crichton's sci-fi movie about tiny malevolent robots Runaway with Tom Selleck!) and Finola Hughes (Anna Devane!). And gasp, I actually liked this song. Y
91 Gloria Loring & Carl Anderson: “Friends And Lovers”
I hated this song, but fondly recall Gloria Loring for her TV theme songs and the fact that she was on one of the two soaps that I watched all through HS and college (Days of Our Lives, and General Hospital, though I was much more of a Days follower). Current trivia: she married Canadian import Alan Thicke (now appearing on How I Met Your Mother websites! Awesome!) and they spawned current R&B artist, Robin Thicke. N
90 Haircut 100: “Love Plus One”
This was part of the early new wave/MTV invasion, and you can’t help but love this one, even though the band name and the song make no sense whatsoever. H
89 Rodney Dangerfield: “Rappin’ Rodney”
This doesn’t diminish my love of Caddyshack nor Back to School. N
88 Nik Kershaw: “Wouldn’t it Be Good”
I fucking LOVE this song, and have been searching online for it for ages. (Note: it's not in iTunes, but you can now find it on Amazon as part of a British compilation). This is a perfect pop concoction, and moves me every time I hear it. Y
87 Vixen: “Edge Of A Broken Heart”
For people who like their strippers dancing to hair metal, but are too lazy to go to a strip club. (Richard Marx wrote this song? Who knew). N
86 Patrice Rushen: “Forget Me Nots”
I don’t recall this song at all, but instantly recognized it as the "sample" for Will Smith's Men in Black theme song. N
85 Ziggy Marley And The Melody Makers: “Tomorrow People”
The son had a top 40 hit, while unbelievably, the dad didn’t. I don’t think I got stoned to this one however. N
84 The Church: “Under The Milky Way”
Man, this is a good tune. And for some reason, I always confused The Church and The Alarm. Maybe it's because churches alarm me. H
83 Paul Lekakis: “Boom Boom Boom Let’s Go Back to My Room”
What is this about, exactly? I’m not sure what the text, or even subtext, is here. N
82 Red Rider: “Lunatic Fringe”
This song makes me think of sitting in a loft. With black lights and Fruity Pebbles. N
81 Josie Cotton: “Johnny Are You Queer?”
Well, we’ve come a long way. No one would put out a politically incorrect song like this now. Oh, wait. This was on the Valley Girl Sound track, and I had a huge crush on Deborah Foreman. So much so that I went to see April Fool’s Day. But left in the middle of it, because I was so unspeakably high that this movie scared me. So my buddy and I went to a local bar and drank whiskey until we couldn’t see straight. Needless to say...N
Back soon with the next 20 in our countdown.
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