I'll take potpourri for $5,000, Alex

If Dollhouse continues, someone is obviously going to die, since Joss just loves killing. :-) Here are "his" 16 most painful deaths.

BSG composer Bear McCreary interviews four of the final five Cylons. (And holy frak! What a mind-blowing expositionarama last night with "No Exit." I'm still wrapping my noodle around the Cylon history lesson).

Sam Tyler may have a Life on Mars, but it looks like he won't have much of one on our TVs, if these ratings are any indication. Damn.

E!s Kristin chats with real life couple Michael Emerson and Carrie Preston. More here with Ben. And Juliet, too.

More thoughts on science and religion, and how the twain shan't meet. Related: "Oh, it's a miracle! Oh...that one, not so much."

I don't get into hockey, but some of these "goal" calls crack me up.

TV Gal isn't panicking about Dollhouse (quality-wise).

If Emily Blunt can't be Natasha Romanoff, then Eliza wants in. How's her Russian? Or maybe ScarJo?

A peek at Watchmen's "Tales of the Black Freighter."

A chat with the Ellen Tigh herself, Kate Vernon.

Matt Stafford the top rated QB in one scout's eyes.

To any gals excited about this, I'm ready to beam up.

Put your money where your mouth is, when it comes to Octomom.

Dragging down the collective IQ of the country.

I don't have any stories about him being a bad tipper, but I did have my own brief Michael Stipe encounter. In college, I made a late night trip to Kinko's to make copies of a paper I was writing, and there he was hanging out. (Why "hang out" in a Kinko's at 2 in the morning? No clue). But to call him "disheveled" would do in injustice to hobos. And I don't think I've ever been in proximity to someone who smelled quite so bad. Either he was living out of a dumpster in those days, or had decided to roll around in a compost heap with a sack full of dead mackerels before making a few copies. Ahhh, the exciting life of a rock star.

A chat with dear, departed Charlotte Staples Lewis.

A profile in asshattery. If your first impressions where that this guy was a douchenozzle, then read on.

The geek worlds collide. Summer Glau on Big Bang Theory? AWESOME. Just as awesome? Felicia Day on Dollhouse!

Awwwwww.

Klingon night school.

An interesting profile of Herschel Walker, from Jeff Pearlman's blog (he wrote the recent Cowboys book, "Boys Will Be Boys."). Pearlman also worked at ESPN for a while, and here are his top 10 things that irk him about the WWL.

Baseball Prospectus looks at the 2009 season. Braves with a winning record, and tied with the Phillies for the Wild Card? Wonder how the season series with the World Champs turns out?

If this program was used in Columbus, GA, I think the application would require all the geopbytes of all the internet storage in all the world.

Every single filthy fucking thing said on The Sopranos. EVER.

Did Peter Bishop want to be Captain Kirk?

Richard Hatch "defends" Tom Zarek.

Guess I'm not going to retire (or even buy some Whiskey and Ramen Noodles) doing this here blogging thing.

Does the brain make up the need for god?

AOL's "Best Shows of the 90s." Some highlights: Star Trek: TNG 29, SportsNight 19, South Park 16, Northern Exposure 15, Frasier 14, Law & Order 11, The Sopranos 10, The X-Files 6, Buffy 4, The Simpsons 3, Seinfeld 1. You look through that list, other than what I've noted, and realize there was a lot of crap on in the 90s.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! (Amazon is offering Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" as a FREE download today!)

The 50 Greatest Television Shows of All Time

Empire, the UK's preeminent entertainment magazine (and really, one of the best out there period) just published a list of the 50 Greatest Television Shows of All Time. While it has a certain British sensibility, and includes several shows many of us in The Colonies haven't seen, it is a solid list and one that deserves comment. So open up another tab in your browser, and follow along with me as I count (most of) them down.

Nice to see some love for Quantum Leap

Would not put Prison Break in the Top 50. Or Top 250.

Veronica's best episode is NOT the S2 finale. And I might put it higher on the list.

DS9's best ep would be "Far Beyond the Stars," Trials and Tribbilations" or "In the Pale Moonlight."

Nice to see Farscape love, too. I would put it higher than 45. I would have never believed I could take seriously a show that featured muppets as aliens, but damned if it didn't work, thanks to inventive scripting and downright sizzling performances by Ben Browder and Claudia Black.

Star Trek at 43? Kidding, right? Dammit, Jim, that's too low!

Band of Brothers. Cool. I hate the way I finally got around to watching this one, though.

For Star Trek: TNG, they rightly named "Best of Both Worlds (Parts I and II)" as the best ep, though I would put "Yesterday's Enterprise" just a notch below that one.

Alias that high? Above 3 Treks and Farscape? I liked Alias, but not that much.

Deadwood at 31. Ahhh, dearly departed Deadwood. I realize there was more to Deadwood's demise than the creation of the trippy, challenging and ultimately frustrating John From Cincinnati, but I would have easily forgone that for one more season with Al Swearingen. And an average of 1,000 "fucks" per 12 episode season? That's 83 "fucks" per episode. That's fucking awesome, fuckers.

Love that Dexter made the list.

Bender on Futurama is named after Judd Nelson's character in the Breakfast Club? Cool.

Nice choice with Angel at 21. Numfar does the dance of joy. And of course, I would have it higher.

Scrubs at 19? Wha? Huh? I mean, I liked Scrubs for a while, until it became all about kids, but 19?

Best. Sitcom. Ever. Arrested Development at 18. Sweet, but it should be even higher.

South Park is still as funny today as it was when it premiered.

Heroes at 15? Has anyone watched season 2? Although I will agree with them about "Five Years Gone." I still have that ep saved on the TiVo, even after all this time.

Firefly at 14! Shiny! How do you pick a "best" episode here? "Out of Gas" is a very solid and obvious choice, though I'm also partial to the more existential "Objects in Space" (Jubal Early is a fantastic creation) and "Shindig" never fails to crack me up. And that's not even mentioning "Our Mrs. Reynolds" with the duplicitous and adorable YoSaffBridge.

Frak Yeah. BSG at 13. Too Low? So Say We All. And for my take on the best episode (and hell, ALL the episodes), check out this Very Special Edition of TNRLM's "The Canon"

Hard to argue with Seinfeld at 11, but I still put Arrested Development as the best sitcom ever, a c-hair ahead of this show and Cheers.

Now we're in the Top 10, with the X-Files at 9. Despite some hits and misses (mostly the unsatisfying wrap up and faltering under its own weight mythology), this still ranks as one of the best shows of all time. Best episode? They cite "Jose Chung," which might be worthy, but there are so many to consider, like "Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose," "Bad Blood" and many others, including "Home" (check out the Did You Know blurb at the bottom for the surprising origin of that story).

Never watched The Wire. Dunno. Just no interest.

24 at 6? I love watching Jack Bauer whoop some terrorist (or bystander) ass with the best of 'em, but as Gob Bluth would say...."Come On!"

Lost checks in at 5. Given my obsession with the show (I just received 2 "Dharma" and one "Oceanic Air" t-shirts I ordered last weekend), I can't argue with that one. Another show that's tough to pick a best episode. What about "Walkabout?" Or last season's finale, "Through The Looking Glass?" Or this season's "The Constant?"

You woke up this morning. Got yourself a gun. Mama always said you'd be the chosen one. Or at #3. "Long Term Parking" is indeed a fine episode, but "Pine Barrens" is a fucking masterpiece.

I'm fond of The Simpsons, and it certainly has had a significant cultural impact and impressive staying power. That's their choice for number 1. However, speaking of "The Chosen One," my choice for number 1 would be Empire's choice for number 2. The answer, of course, is the television masterpiece Buffy The Vampire Slayer. If you are still scared by the silly title, you're really missing out (much like I assume some folks are by Battlestar Galactica) and owe it to yourself to go buy all seven seasons on DVD right now. Trust me, you won't regret it. Or, if you like, you can do a little sampling at hulu.com. And then you'll go buy all seven seasons on DVD. I'll even get you started right now:

As for the "best" episode of Buffy? You can check out this other Very Special Edition of TNRLM's "The Canon" right here.

As you can tell, I don't have that many quibbles with the list overall, despite the omission of some "classic" series (Twilight Zone, Magnum PI, Cheers, M*A*S*H, etc.). The only "new" series I would think merits inclusion is the compelling Mad Men.

What's missing? Agree or disagree? What are the best episodes? Whatcha think, TNRLM readers?

The Canon: Best of Television 2007

With 2007 coming to an end and the supply of new episodes rapidly dwindling, it's time to do a quick review of the Best of 2007.

The Canon: TNRLM's Top 10 TV Shows of 2007

1. Battlestar Galactica
The season started with a bang (the flash forward to occupied New Caprica, capped by one of the most remarkable and stirring images ever to grace a television screen - Galactica dropping through the atmosphere to aid in the Exodus) and ended with a bang (Cylons revealed! Baltar not guilty! Starbuck returns! And All Along the Watchtower!). In between we had gut wrenching boxing matches, sacrifices, backstories, great character moments and some of the best writing, acting and directing TV has to offer. With only one real clunker ("The Woman King") and a captivating "extra" ("Razor"), BSG remains a hidden gem. If you don't like sci-fi in general or only remember the cheesy 70s show, you owe it to yourself to check out The Best Show on Television.

2. Mad Men
This instant classic came out of nowhere (AMC? Really?) to suddenly become one of the small screen's most intriguing tapestries. Set in the smoke and booze filled world of advertising in the 60s, Mad Men carves out a period of American history and explores the cultural mores of the time and fills it with fascinating characters. Former Sopranos producer Matthew Weiner has assembled a top notch ensemble to evocatively draw us into this world, anchored by Jon Hamm as complex adman Don Draper.

3. Big Love
Often overshadowed in HBO's stable of dramas by legends (The Sopranos) and spectacular flameouts (John From Cincinnati), Big Love only got better in its second season. While the audience may not always sympathize or agree with protagonist Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton), it's the three sister wives played by Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny and Ginnifer Goodwin that truly give the show heart and nuance. All three upped their games in this season and delivered outstanding performances that should be recognized at Emmy time.

4. House
Coming off an uneven third season (good riddance to the Tritter debacle), House rebounded in a spectacular way, upending the supporting cast dynamics with House's amusingly cruel game of professional "Survivor" as he selected three new associates to replace Chase, Cameron and Foreman (who stayed with the show, only on the periphery). The medical mystery of the week was still there, but the competition for staff positions was inspired, entertaining and gave TV's best asshole ample time to unleash an endless stream of bon mots. Plus, where else can you find Kumar and Cutthroat Bitch on a regular basis? Extra bonus: our first case of Lupus!

5. 30 Rock
While The Office got the awards previously, and rightfully inspired cultish fanaticism, 30 Rock did what few sitcoms do: deliver consistent laughs. A surprise winner for Best Comedy Emmy, Tina Fey and company skillfully walked the tightrope between high concept lunacy and workplace chuckles. While all the performances are top notch, it's Alec Baldwin's Jack Donaghy who is without question the funniest character on the small screen today. 30 Rock deftly weaves in pop culture references, political satire and flat out absurdity, all in one whip-smart package.

6. Lost
The less said about the opening "pod" of "cage episodes" (or Jack's tattoo story) the better, but once that meandering beginning was over, Lost kicked up the suspense, drama and mystery, all building to a mind-blowing finale. Elizabeth Mitchell was a fascinating addition as Juliet and no one on TV is as creepy as Michael Emerson's Benjamin Linus. Even though it divided fans, I found the Nicki and Paulo story funny, entertaining and delightfully morbid. Lost remains unlike anything else on TV, and the finale only ups the ante for the heights it can reach. I'm still firmly on the island.

7. The Sopranos
The television legend came to a close this year with an ending that will be debated for some time. What can't be debated, however, is the quality of the show (and the writing, acting, directing) that will go down in history as one of the all time greats.

8. The Closer
A simple set up (crime, investigation, Brenda gets a confession) yields far greater results than you would expect. Kyra Sedwick's central performance as Brenda Leigh Johnson (true southern quibbles with accents not withstanding) is a revelation, and she's surrounded by a taut, smart ensemble. Many times, it's not that hard to figure out "whodunnit," but the true joy of The Closer is watching Chief Johnson figure out how to get that "who" to admit it.

9. Bones
Another procedural, lifted from the ordinary by the effortless charm and palpable chemistry between leads David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel. The show features the best "will they or won't they" since Mulder and Scully and has a great supporting cast of intelligent and richly drawn characters.

10. Torchwood
Speaking of Mulder and Scully, this BBC America import is an X-Files for a new generation. Originally positioned as a more "adult" Doctor Who spinoff, Torchwood really came into its own toward the end of its maiden season. The aliens and monsters of the week are fun and creepy, but the real drama of Torchwood lies in the toll these battles take on team fighting them. And John Barrowman's Captain Jack Harkness is a character for the ages (literally).

Caveats:
Due to the relocation issues and horrors of Comcast (and their Hal 9000 TiFaux), I wasn't able to watch Dexter, which almost assuredly would have been toward the top of this list. I hope to catch up on Season 2 shortly, through Showtime repeats or DVD. (Same with Weeds and Californication). I also understand Pushing Daisies to be quite good, and look forward to watching that from the beginning. Finally, my low tolerance for kids on my TV keeps me from watching Friday Night Lights, though I may check my prejudices at the door and give it a try during the strike (if I can convince non-geeks to give BSG a shot, it's only fair that I follow my own advice about preconceptions).

Honorable Mention:
Psych
Eureka
Burn Notice
Doctor Who
Chuck
The Office
How I Met Your Mother

For other year end wrap ups, check out my two favorite critics: TV Guide's Matt Roush and the Chicago Tribune's Maureen Ryan.

Saturday Morning Entertainment Potpourri!

Rescue Me's Dammit Janet! will be appearing on Lost next year.

The talented and adorable Kristen Bell makes her first appearance on Heroes Monday. Can she use all her charm to make me give a shit about Peter and the Lucky Charms gang? Perhaps. Check out a preview of her here.

Nine reasons to Love Mad Men from TV Guide, here. I've yet to watch the season finale, though my non-spoilery web-skimming indicates that it is fantastic -- though with a controversial plot element. Hmmm. That should be interesting.

More from TV Guide: notes about the debut of the 24 Season 7 trailer. After last season's colossal misfire, I'm hoping for a strong rebound. I posted my thoughts on how to "fix" things here. Doesn't sound like they really listened to me, but I am mildly intrigued. Billy Walsh/Wally Balls? Faux Kristen Chenowith's real life girlfriend as the Prez? Tony! Left wing nutjob though still adorable Janeane Garofalo? Will she and Chloe have a pout and snark-off? Doctor Phlox? Amateur poon-ographer Brent from Dirt? I'll check it out. Here's the countdown to the trailer premiere.

One of my pet peeves is mis-quoted movies. Here is a list of the most frequently mis-quoted quotes. And another one.

And you thought people were through debating whether or not Tony Soprano is dead? Think again. Apparently, David Chase made a comment about Gerry Torciano's whacking in the restaurant in front of Silvio, and that spurred another round of detailed analysis. Fascinating stuff.

I finally watched last Friday's premiere of Women's Murder Club. It played like a combination of Sex In The City and CSI, and was a decent enough way to pass an hour while drinking beer and eating pizza. I love Angie Harmon (my favorite Law and Order ADA) and Laura Harris is a long time celebrity crush, with absolutely perfect hair. As I watched the credit unroll, I was flabbergasted by the producers: James Patterson, the former adman turned novelist, who wrote books on which the show is based. Showrunners/writers Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain, former writers and story editors for Angel. Creepy daughter pimping loon Joe Simpson. Chubby Hollywood starlet-banging playa and hack director Brett Ratner. Did the latter two hatch this idea when they were sitting around Brett's hot tub talking about Jessica's tits? Just bizarre. Still, I like the cast and I'll always give a shot to any show featuring former Whedon writers.

If JFK was shot in the YouTube age, we'd know who did it.

Someone took the time to go all Zapruder on The Sopranos finale. Some of the "conclusions" are a little out there, but I respect the effort.

Whatever David Chase had in mind, and whether or not he will ever tell us definitively, it matters not to me. I thought it was a brilliant, thought-provoking ending for a series that consistently refused to tie things up in a neat little bow for the viewer. (Of course, if Lost or Battlestar Galactica pulls this shit I'll be on top of a book depository with a rifle).

Speaking of Lost, someone took snippets from the various seasons to put together a "chronological" view of the events surrounding the plane crash. Cool.

What about a vampire mobster?

Seconds after the much-discussed season finale of The Sopranos, I immediately thought of the end to another of my favorite show, Angel. While the circumstances of their "demise" differ (HBO would have loved to continue with The Sopranos; the WB treated Angel much like Phil Leotardo's head, so they could put on more poorly written/acted teen angst crap and reality pablum, forcing Whedon and crew to recalibrate the ending with just a few weeks left in shooting) the resulting endings are remarkably similar. Evidently, I'm not the only one to think so. (link courtesy of Whedonesque).

"Wheel in the Sky" plays as Phil's head is crushed.

Or maybe "Open Arms" plays as Tony and Janice tenderly share a sibling moment over their mutual hatred for Livia? Or perhaps we hear " "Who's Crying Now" as Paulie attempts to figure out if that damned cat is the reincarnated spirit of Adriana or Christopher? (Note: great spinoff idea: Paulie and the cat in a buddy comedy about a malaprop using capo with mother issues and his snarky feline compatriot. Hilarity ensues as they go about whacking rival mobsters from New York. And dogs).

I kid.

The folks from Journey certainly got some good press in the aftermath of The Sopranos finale. See interviews with Steve Perry here, Jonathon Cain here and Neal Schon here. It appears only Perry was a spoiler whore, and wanted to know exactly how it ends.

Perhaps we should all go to work to write a pop song that will fit perfectly with the end of Lost or Battlestar Galactica.

Speaking of which, here is what some of TV's top writers thought of the finale.

For the record, I loved it.

Much of the debate you'll hear today will revolve around the ending to one of TV's all time best series, The Sopranos. You'll probably fall into one of two camps: those who loved the ambiguous and thought-provoking nature of the ending, and those who hated it because they wanted definitive closure on the saga of Tony Soprano and family.

When the credits rolled in silence suddenly, unexpectedly, after an interminably long black, blank screen, I immediately thought of the ending to another of my favorite shows, Angel. Both ended the same way: our "protagonist," bad news and portends swirling ominously around and seemingly facing "the end," and......The End. Who lives and who dies left up to the viewer for their own interpretation.

(This, of course, was after wondering if a storm took out the satellite dish, if the cat stepped on the remote, or some other bizarre circumstance created the blackout, rather than the storytelling and stylistic choice of a true auteur).

While some in the audience may claim "cop out" and "cheat," I think it was a daring and brilliant way to go out. No matter what happened, is there any way that David Chase could have definitively "closed" the saga? Tony getting whacked by Phil's troops? Tony getting whacked by one of his own? Tony turning to the feds and going into witness protection? Tony ascending to power over both families? Tony witnessing the death of Carm, AJ and/or Meadow? A pull back in that same diner showing the biological family happily eating? Sure, these would have put a bold period at the end of the story, but after the initial shock of no tidy resolution, I think that would have been the easy way out for a show that rarely took that path and more often, mirrored life with its series of crushing heartbreaks, occasional joys and myriad unanswered questions.

Still, despite not knowing Tone's "ultimate" fate, we did see some things in the immediate family:

• Phil is dead, and in a spectacularly brutal fashion. (say "bye bye" indeed).
  
• Carmela continues to stay afloat in her self delusion, self preservation and state of partial denial, all the while initialing the covenants on her deal with the devil.
• Meadow completes her evolution from spoiled princess to spoiled queen, asserting her egocentric delusion (becoming a lawyer because the authorities mistreated Italian Americans like her dad, at which even T rolled his eyes) over time to essentially become her mother.
• AJ suffers through his existential crisis and depression to become the same privileged douchebag he always was. Rotten, putrid fucking genes indeed. (And how funny was it for him to lament gas guzzling SUVs and the war, only to wind up driving a BMW M3 and being the gopher for a mob backed "porn studio?")
• Janice remains the self-absorbed bitch, just as scarred by the ghost of Livia as Tony.

Of course, we also reached definitive conclusion on a few other items:

• Meadow absolutely cannot parallel park.
• Pauly hates cats.
• Mythical holy figures would have pulled in a lot of money. "One time, at the Bing ... I saw the Virgin Mary," Pauly confides in Tony. "Why didn't you say anything," Tony replies. "Fuck strippers, we coulda had a shrine, sold holy water in gallon jugs, coulda made millions." (Assuming of course, Ralphie didn't object to the virgin birth and beat her to death in the parking lot).

The tension in this episode was palpable and untenable. The multiple shadowy figures in the diner, some of whom could possibly be related to past wrongs commited by members of the "family." Who would have thought that one of the most nerve racking periods in modern television would be comprised of an inept attempt to parallel park and noshing on onion rings? But even those seemingly mundane tasks are loaded with potential metaphor. Was Mead's attempt to park symbolic of her attempt to make peace with and "fit into" the lifestyle championed by Carmela and provided by her father and her soon to be husband's family, so soon after the consequences became alarmingly real with Bobby's death, Sil's coma and hiding in safe houses? Were the onion rings, which we've rarely (if ever) seen on the show, indicative of an "ouroboros?" Does this suggest a return to the nuclear family unit after 8 years of death and mayhem? The children's return to the "nest?" The cycle of life and death? The children becoming their parents? The story, and the family (in both sense of the word) closing in on itself?

With regard to the cycles and the ouroboros, just think about the lyrics to what I'm sure is today's most googled song: Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'." There's the "on and on and on and on" part of the lyrics certainly, but click the link and go read them. See if that doesn't ring any bells, particularly the passage beginning with "working hard to get my fill." Also of note: the "b-side" of the Journey song Tony chose in the jukebox was "any way you want it." Is this another directive from Chase leave the ending open to the viewer's interpretation? Some music snobs and faux hipsters may have complained about the choice of song, hoping instead for some bleak Springsteen meditation or obscure critical darling with more elitist cache, but they would have missed the point. The Sopranos would not go out with Arctic Monkey or Coldplay or the White Stripes. Journey, and that song, were a perfect choice for the moment and the absolute best use of an 80s chestnut since "Sister Christian" took on a whole new meaning with Alfred Molina, Mark Wahlberg and the guys in Boogie Nights.

As "open" as the ending was, it resembles Angel in another way, in that there's a strong case to be made that death did come, just moments after the final reel has unspooled. After all, the beginning of the season had a moment with Tony and Bobby on the lake in the boat, on Tony's birthday, meditating on what happens in death. You never hear it coming, they said. Nothing happens, they said. It just goes black, they said. If that's the case, doesn't the abrupt ending breathe life into that theory? Or does it indicate a more "meta" meaning, symbolizing the "death" of the show and the story of The Sopranos, the show? It started small, with a man, his family and some ducks. It then opened up into an epic, operatic tale, reaching backward and forward through generations; commenting on life and death; examining politics, racism, sexism and power -- all filtered through the prism of "family." And then the conclusion slowly closed around the core "family," paralleled ever so brilliantly by the comments of Phil's capo on how Little Italy is now only two blocks and a tourist attraction. Fitting that we end with only Tony and his immediate family, seemingly happy again despite the constricting pressures of their choice and lifestyle, which was truly "Made In America."

However you interpret the finale, one thing is certain. The Sopranos was a grand tale, well told.

Sage Advice from Bobby Bacala

In honor of the series finale of The Sopranos and the breathless and seemingly neverending coverage of professional celebutard/STD Paris Hilton, here's actor Steve Schirripa's words of wisdom to the in-jail/out-of-jail blight on humanity, courtesy of TMZ.

Wow. Where was Bobby Baccalieri when I needed him a year or two ago? Perhaps I should have frequented more model train stores. Though I hear those can be dangerous.

The "Italian Crystal Ball" and Galactica Enlightenment

A few things this morning.

Everyone is making predictions about the much-anticipated series finale of The Sopranos, so I'll chip in with a few:

1. Tony lives through the finale.
2. Paulie has been a traitor, working with Phil Leotardo.
3. Paulie gets whacked.
4. Phil gets whacked.

Battlestar Galactica had an "event" this week, and here's a great summary of it from AICN.

Here's an odd link I found the other day (from Pop Candy, I believe) about whistling in rock songs. I always find this annoying, because sadly, I can't whistle. Despite the sexy and simple instructions from a gorgeous Lauren Bacall, I still haven't mastered it.

A wonderfully insightful essay on the "meaning" and "blueprint" of Buffy's season 6 episode, "Flooded." For those into the analytical and philosophical structure of the show, it's a must read.

Johnny Drama for a "Fake Emmy!" And a hilarious "first person" guest column from Drama himself in Variety.

If you don't play that way, I'll call your wife a whore and destroy your living room

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