Interim Gameday Report

Sometime during the long tailgate and travel weekend, I seem to have caught a cold. So I feel like crap, and can barely work the remote control on the TV, much less a keyboard for posting the highlights of the gameday weekend. However, here are a few tidbits:

• I got my bags checked at the airport by an NFL Pro-Bowler's dad.
• I experienced CPAP envy at the airport security scan.
• Jukeboxes in Dawsonville prohibit "rap" or "metal" until after 10 PM.
• Tall boys of Miller Lite are still inexplicably value-priced.
• Noel Devine is a black hobbit. But he shouldn't wear shoes.
• The trip to Athens included a re-enactment of the 70s classic Death Race 2000.
• There's a country video that features the old frat house as a character.
• Freaknik broke out next to us at the tailgate.
• Someone in our section at the game shit their pants, without an odor-absorbing astronaut diaper.
• 320+ rushing, and Thomas Brown kicks ass. So does Moreno. Tripp Chandler? Not so much.
• The personal and professional worlds collided mysteriously at Applebees.
• When cell phones don't work as planned, just yell across a crowded bar: "What number do I need to call y'all?!"
• Comment from the E's to Miz Freebird after spending 3 minutes with her hubby and passenger post game, post 5th Quarter show: "You need a hug."
• Knocked Up is indeed funny, and I'm glad I got around to finally seeing it.

More expansive thoughts on the weekend later this week, if I feel up to it. All in all, a great weekend full of college football upsets, good times, great friends and most importantly, a Dawgs victory in an increasingly topsy-turvy SEC season. Woof.

Lust in Space

Okay, by now surely everyone's heard the story about the wacky astronaut who set off on a cross country "trek" to vanquish her rival for a fellow astronaut's affections.

Sure, people - even smart and successful people - can become unhinged and do ridiculous things in the name of love. Or fall for the wrong person. But let's leave that aside for a moment, and look at her plan.

She wore adult diapers to the confrontation so she wouldn't have to stop for bathroom breaks.
We took some road trips in college, where there were coolers full of beer in the car, and never once did this idea cross my mind. Does it really take that long to stop and take care of business? Could you not just leave 15 minutes early to account for stopping at Stuckey's? (you don't have to shop for bird feeders or pick up a pecan roll, ya know). Isn't that preferable to pissing yourself for 900 miles? Was this part of her pre-killing ritual? Maybe this was the "fuel" to psych herself up for the big event. Lord knows driving 15 hours across country sitting in your own piss and shit would make you kind of cranky upon arrival.

She put on a wig and trenchcoat.
She doesn't think a wig and trenchcoat looks a wee bit suspicious? In Orlando? Does she think she's master of disguise, Gene Parmesan?

Her cache of weapons.
In addition to the Bobby Valentine disguise and a pantsload of poop, they also found her with the following: pepper spray, a BB-gun, a new steel mallet, knife and rubber tubing. Okay, maybe Jack Bauer or MacGyver could save the world with this assortment, but huh? Was she gonna pull a Vinnie Barbarino and "up her nose with a rubber hose?" Tie her up with the tubing, then "tenderize" her with the mallet, adding a little pepper spray for flavoring? Put her eye out at x-mas? She had on a diaper, after all, didn't she have time to stop by Tank Johnson's house to stock up right?

I can't tell if this is the worst "evil plot" since Scooby-Doo, or the dumbest thing involving astronauts since the remake of Lost in Space ("hey, Dr. Smith, how you doin'?").