Good TV Reminder

Yes, November sweeps are over, and the nation is breathlessly wondering "what the fuck is going on with Tiger Woods?!" But that doesn't mean there isn't tubey goodness to be had:

Tonight, we have the season 2 finale of FX's terrific outlaw biker drama Sons of Anarchy. And it's 90 minutes, so check your DVRs accordingly.

Also on tonight, there's a new show on the Science Channel called Sci-Fi Science hosted by Dr. Michio Kaku, author of "Physics of the Impossible." He will examine the scientific plausibility of things like lightsabers, warp drive and stargates. I want to build a time machine out of empty whiskey bottles, paper clips and my BlackBerry. I wonder if this will help.

There's a new Glee tomorrow, and hopefully it will be fake baby-free, or this plot will get aborted soon.

There's also a new Fringe Thursday. It's been struggling on Thursday nights, so show up and watch, y'all.

And Friday, there's not one BUT TWO brand spankin' new Dollhouse episodes (with Ray Wise! And Summer Glau!).

Oh, and if you'd given up on House after it squandered the potential of the wonderful season premiere, catch last night's "Wilson" episode on the intertubes. It was a great, "Zeppo" or "Lower Decks" look at Hugh Laurie's sidekick.

What To Watch: Mondays

Fall TV Season is finally upon us, and the season premieres of returning shows and pilots for new shows will start hitting the air soon. I'll be doing a brief rundown, day by day, of the shows I'll be watching this fall, so follow along and add your two cents worth as well. Let's start with Monday:

Show	Net	Day	Time	Priority
Heroes	NBC	MON	800	DVR
House	FOX	MON	800	Watch
How I Met Your Mother	CBS	MON	800	Watch
Lie to Me	FOX	MON	900	DVR
Big Bang Theory	CBS	MON	930	Watch
Castle	ABC	MON	1000	Watch

First, a quick word about what I'm calling "Priority." "DVR" means that I'll TiVo the show, probably get around to watching it, but not necessarily on the night in question. "Watch" means that I'll make every effort to watch the show live (or relatively live, factoring in the 15 minute or so buffer to blast through the commercials). And my third classification (which isn't shown here on Monday) is "Sleepytime." Long ago having tired of the shouty nonsense from SportsCenter anchors and news program hysterical blathering, I like to have a bank of shows built up on the bedroom TiVo to watch as I'm falling asleep. Typically, these are fairly unchallenging but watchable procedurals. Also, my "best of the night" are shown in RED.

Heroes: Call it morbid curiosity or a bad habit, but I'm leaving this on the season pass list despite a continuing (and almost terminal) decline in the quality of the show. Mainly, I like Adrian Pasdar, Jack Coleman and Zachary Quinto as actors, and for the time being, their talents and appeal overcome the charisma void created by the rest of the cast and the plot hole-riddled scripting. Could have the plug pulled in short order if it doesn't improve quickly, though.

House: How has Hugh Laurie not been awarded an Emmy yet? The quality of the individual episodes and plot strands can vary, but there's no doubting the ferocious, multi-faceted and captivating central performance (along with quality work done by the rest of the cast, especially the understated Robert Sean Leonard).

How I Met Your Mother: When's the last time you were so entertained by a show built around a douchey principal character and his uninteresting quest? But the other four characters are so awesome we put up with Ted.

Lie To Me: Like House, the show's plot mechanics can be a bit of a one trick pony, but the lead English import is so damned good, it makes up for it. They did start to show different nuances to the "lie detection" gimmick late in the season, and bringing in Shawn Ryan as showrunner, and Sarah Fain & Elizabeth Craft (late of Dollhouse) as writers should only help the show improve in its sophomore season.

Big Bang Theory: Simply put, my favorite sitcom on TV. BBT grew leaps and bounds in its second season, continuing all the lovably geeky stuff (spot on, while treating it with respect - a difficult tightrope to walk) that made it so appealing in the first place, while rounding out and deepening the initially one-note and troublesome character of Penny. Proof that the "old" three camera sitcom format isn't dead, and can thrive in the right hands.

Castle: Nathan Fillion gets his best role since Captain Tightpants, and has terrific chemistry with stealth hottie Stana Katic in this engaging, breezy, crime drama. Castle feels like it should be on USA network, and that's actually a good thing. (And bonus points for giving me the first kid on TV since Rory Gilmore that I don't want to put into a wood chipper).

Emmy Shortlist: Drama Lead Actors

TNRLM Shortlist: Lead Actor/Drama

Gabriel Byrne, In Treatment: It’s a shame this show doesn’t attract more viewers, because those who aren’t watching are missing a master class in acting from all involved. It takes special talent to make watching two people sitting on a single set talking for 30 minutes riveting television, but that’s what In Treatment is. Byrne, given more to play with this year than last, was spectacular, and made “listening” into an art form.

Jeffrey Donovan, Burn Notice: Several shows featured charismatic leads anchoring enjoyable procedurals (including Nathan Fillion on Castle and Simon Baker on The Mentalist), but Burn Notice really upped its game in the second season, and went from popcorn munching summer fun to must watch, thanks mainly to Donovan’s portrayal of outcast spy Michael Weston (good scripts and a fabulous supporting cast also helped). Donovan was also great in USA’s little seen and underappreciated remake of Touching Evil several years ago, so how about a little overdue recognition?

Michael C. Hall, Dexter: Hall has created one of TV’s most enjoyable and fascinating characters, a sympathetic serial killer. Though he can propel the show all on his own, it was great watching him in a cat and mouse game with Jimmy Smits in season three.



Jon Hamm, Mad Men: Season two of Mad Men gave us lots of Don Draper to appreciate. From his professional machinations with the Sterling Cooper crowd and obnoxious comic Jimmy Barrett (and his wife) to his existential time on the west coast, Hamm gave subtle shadings to a character who shows little on the outside, but has everything going on on the inside.

Josh Holloway, Lost: With his nicknames and bad boy behavior, Sawyer has long been one of the best things about Lost. Last season, however, Holloway got to play another side of everyone’s favorite conman, as “Jim LaFleur” attempted to build a new life for himself back in the 1970s era Dharma Initiative. His doomed relationship with the equally Emmy-worthy Elizabeth Mitchell was a highlight of a terrific season five.

Hugh Laurie, House: Yeah, the overall show has slipped a bit, but Laurie continues to bring the brilliance week after week, and it’s inconceivable that he hasn’t taken home a gold statue yet.


Denis Leary, Rescue Me: No show benefited from a break more than Rescue Me, which had fallen into a serious ditch, quality wise. But this year, it’s come roaring back with better scripts and inspired casting (including Michael J. Fox as Janet’s antagonistic new boyfriend), and fantastic lead performance from Leary. He handles the laugh out loud comedy and trips to the dramatic dark side with equal aplomb, and should be recognized for helping rescue Rescue Me.

TNRLM Shortlist: Lead Actress/Drama

Ginnifer Goodwin, Big Love: Big Love enjoyed its best season yet, and much of the credit has to go to the actresses who played the Henrickson wives, all of whom I’ve put on this list. Goodwin’s Margene dealt with the death of her mother, and the youngest sister-wife began to blossom as she started her own home shopping network career. Denial and ambition made an adorable package this year for Margene.

January Jones, Mad Men: Betty Draper took an interesting voyage on the second season of Mad Men, as she experimented with the power of her own allure and independence. Jones was up to the challenge, giving the audience a compelling view of a woman trapped in a difficult situation in a very different era.


Mary McDonnell, Battlestar Galactica: How is it even possible that McDonnell has never been nominated for one of the most iconic female roles in all of science fiction? Oh yeah, it’s “science fiction.” Despite the disturbing lack of attention given to extraordinary performances in “genre” programming, McDonnell deserves kudos for breathing life into a complicated character, and I could watch her “I’m coming for all of you!” scene over and over.

Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men: It was tough to be an ambitious career gal in the Mad Men era, as Moss’s nuanced and intelligent performance constantly reminds us. While she was great all year long, Moss should be on the Emmy list if only for her scene with Pete in the season finale. Great stuff.


Chloe Sevigny, Big Love: All the sister wives got compelling storylines this past year, and Sevigny was no exception. Nicki lived a double life, spied for her treacherous father, got caught taking birth control pills, reconciled with her slimy brother Alby and had to deal with the return of her abusive first husband and little seen daughter. Amazingly enough, Sevigny created sympathy for a character that on the surface would seem to engender little.

Jeanne Tripplehorn, Big Love: Concluding the Big Love troika is Tripplehorn, who masterfully took Barb Henrickson through a monumental crisis of faith and questionable commitment to “living the principle” in her plural marriage. Her performance was delicate, true and heartbreaking.

Season Finale Haiku

Chuck
"Guys. I know kung fu!"
Happily, not the last words,
We will hear Chuck say.

Lost
Not all black and white.
Lots of secrets to Un-Locke.
Kate still fucks it up.

Bones
What the hell was that?
Babies, brain tumors and sex?
I want amnesia.

How I Met Your Mother
Mom is in the class?
Don't care since we have Barney,
Robin and Aldrins.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Goodbye, smart sci-fi.
Loved the cast, and this John C,
Won't scream at DP.

American Idol
"Golden Idols" suck,
Homophobia clouds vote,
Kara fun at last.

House
Hallucination?
Only good cuz of Cutthroat.
Hugh still awesome, though.

Dollhouse
Wash is a badass.
Love for Adelle knows no bounds.
Bring on season 2.

Battlestar Galactica
All just chess pieces,
Cuz god did it all along.
Where did Starbuck go?

Fringe
Dimension doorway,
Hey look! It's Spock! Walter rocks.
Peter spry for dead.

Desperate Housewives
Please, Dave, kill Susan.
Did anything fun happen?
Why do I still watch?

The Office
God no! Not babies!
Always kills a show for me.
Picnics are awkward.

Supernatural
Heaven has cold beer.
And burgers. Angels are dicks.
Ruby can't act. Bye!

24
Kim and no cougar.
Red is hot and goes Jack-side.
Quiet end. Good day.

Heroes
More lame upon lame.
Put B. Fuller on GOOD show.
Cast can't save plotting.

It's not lupus (and other musings)

Okay, if it's not lupus, then what is ailing House? TWOP has a handy top 10 list, which you can view here. I still tune in every week, but I'm just not enjoying it as much as I have in the past. Is it show fatigue? Personally, I don't think so. I watch a lot of procedurals, and I don't really mind the "case of the week," patient of the week," "crook of the week" or "monster of the week" format. With a show like House, you tune in because you know what you're going to get: a couple of bad diagnoses, patient almost dying, House insulting everyone, exasperated Cuddy, snappy dialogue, some Wilson humanity, everybody lies, patient cured. Rinse, repeat. I do admire the chances the show has taken in the past to try to shake things up, but the results have been a mixed bag. I liked Stacy. Hated Vogler. Hated Tritter. Liked Lucas the PI. Loved the "Survivor" competition. Loved Cutthroat Bitch, and thought the show ended beautifully last season. But this season has been kind of "blah."

TWOP's list hits on many of my frustrations. Adding a baby is never, ever a good idea. I don't care. I've never liked Foreman, and get bored every time he's on the screen. Olivia Wilde is a good actress, dead sexy and I'm glad that she's going to be in the Tron 2.0 movie. But I don't give a damn about Thirteen. So what could make that worse? Pair up Foreman and Thirteen! And have them suck the oxygen out of half the show each week! Yeesh. I still watch, but each week it's more out of a hope of a return to form, than a real anticipation. C+

Quickies on a few other shows:

Nip/Tuck. The show has always run on an undercurrent of inspired camp lunacy, but good lord what's happened to lately? Christian and Liz? Really? And the less said about Eden and Colleen the better. Possibly worth watching: guest turns coming up for Katee Sackhoff and Rose McGowan (and a check of IMDB shows that they'll be playing the same character. Huh?) D+

Heroes. Okay, we all know we've been on a slippery slope since the craptacular S1 finale. Can anyone keep track of how many times Sylar or Nathan have changed sides and motivations? And is there a worse actor on TV than Milo Ventimiglia? The most recent "volume" started last week, but I think the show may have already done too much damage, with ridiculous plot holes, inconsistent application of powers, cardboard performances and flat writing rolling downhill and building up steam. Bryan Fuller, late of a far, far better show, Pushing Daisies, has returned to the writing/producing team on Heroes, but his effect won't be felt until later this year. Will it be too late? Personally, I think they should junk all the bad characters and bad actors, and just keep Nathan, Sylar and HRG and start over. (And if you want to see Adrian Pasdar on something good, watch Profit. It's on TV occasionally, and on DVD. A great show, killed before it's time). C-

Big Love has come back strong this year, with intriguing storylines all about. I'm usually not a fan of shows that heavily features kids and families, but there's just something about the quality of this one that sucks me in. The performances from the three primary "sister wives" are all extraordinary, and I'm intrigued by the possible addition of a fourth wife to the mix. A

Bones. Something has just been "off" this season. The whole ridiculousness with Zack last year didn't do the show any favors, but that's not it, as I've actually liked the rotating cast of whack jobs they've had replacing him (English trivia guy is my favorite). Maybe it's just that the fine line between "realistic" crime solving and character based shenanigans has expanded too far to tonally accept. The chemistry between Booth and Bones is there as always, of course, but last week's ep with return of the Gravedigger was a blown opportunity. A ghost? You're kidding, right?! Didn't they just have a hallucinated character a few episodes ago, and then they do that again? Or was this supposed to be a "real" ghost? I mean, the ghost did "hand" Booth things in the ship, and then there was that WTF ending where Bones actually interacted with the "ghost." What the hell was that? And the less said about the circus episode the better (though Emily Deschanel in the knife throwing assistant getup is always welcome on my screen). C

Burn Notice. Just keeps doing what it does. Fun, frothy tales of espionage in Miami, with healthy helpings of spycraft how to and Bruce Campbell. A

Life on Mars. They made a HUGE mistake with their return from hiatus episode. When we last saw the show, it ended on a bit of a cliffhanger, with Sam receiving a strange call imploring him to go into the basement. When we come back, we get an out of sequence ep that didn't even address that plot development (though seeing Johnny Sack play another cop was fun, and I like the twist about Sam sleeping with the lovely Maggie Siff -- Rachel from Mad Men -- who turns out to be Hunt's daughter). Then, the next week, we do pick up the plot with the basement, adding some intrigue. The ratings are cratering, though, and the show is surprisingly not holding on to much of Lost's lead-in. I like the show, but I don't think it's long for this world, sadly. B

Supernatural. The season started off brilliantly, with Dean returning from Hell and the addition of badass "angels" to the mix and mytharc. Then, we had a few standalone MOTW episodes, including one that seemed like an equally disturbing homage to the X-Files classic "Home" and another entitled "Criss Angel is a Douche Bag." How can you not love that? Thursday's eppy, "Sex and Violence," was dark, twisted, funny and surprising. A great, underrated show. A

TV Quickies

Random thoughts on the Fall TV Season:

Newly minted Emmy Winning Best Drama Mad Men returned Sunday night with a fantastic episode. I started writing a long treatise on the sad, urine-stained career arc of Freddy Rumson, the meaning of a “name,” Roger Sterling’s end of the episode surprise and Betty Draper’s desperate housewife days, but realized that a couple of professional critics had already done the job quite well. Check out some thoughtful examinations of “Six Month Leave” here and here.

It’s sad that the ratings for Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles are cratering. I think this season has been even better than the last, and Monday’s eppy with a look at Cameron’s story was fascinating, and very well acted by Summer Glau. Rumors addressed here.

Dexter returned Sunday night, and Jimmy Smits will be a welcome addition to the cast. All the elements that make this show a must-watch are there, though I hope the writers don’t feel compelled to make Dex’s latest victim a total scumbag in order to give our serial killer an easy, moral “out.” If the Sopranos and Mad Men and Deadwood have shown us anything, it’s that intelligent audiences will stick with a compelling character that operates outside the boundaries of traditional morality. One major complaint, though. The end of episode reveal introduced something that is typically a “show killer” for me. Why? Can’t even a show about a serial killer stay away from this? Gah.

Heroes season 3 is still an incomprehensible mess, plot-wise. (Examples: if future Peter can travel in time, why shoot Nathan? Why not just tell him what happens if he makes his reveal last year? Or transport him someplace else, away from the media? And if you have mastery over time, why let any of this happen in the first place? Same with Hiro. Why not go back BEFORE he let “the formula” get out of the safe?). Still, for the time being I’ll keep watching, if only because I find some of the characters and performances (HRG, Daphne, Sylar, Hiro, Nathan, Elle, Angela, Claire’s mom) entertaining. At least they’ve picked up the pace of the stupidity this year. Oh, and check out Jack Coleman’s (HRG) blog on TWOP. Much better than the show.

And here’s a funny take on how to grade Heroes episodes on a curve.

Anyone else digging Fringe? I really like it, and think the interplay between the three leads is amusing. And any chance for John Noble's character to talk about cocaine, LSD, root beer floats and cows is fine with me.

Still on board with the quirky detective on House.

I'll take potpourri for $3,000, Alex

We didn't see it because of the unbearable bloat caused by the reality show host trainwreck, but Buffy won the voting for TV's most memorable moment.

Speaking of the Emmys, other than some of the awards themselves (yay Mad Men!) and Ricky Gervais and Don Rickles, that show was disastrously free of highlights. Josh Groban (!) did a polarizing medley of TV theme songs that people loved or hated. Personally, I thought it was great (he does Cartman, y'all!), but check it out for yourself.

A sequel to Unbreakable? Hmmm, a recent Shaymalan movie I might watch.

Hard to punch it into the end zone against 12 men. Pac 10 refs. Sheeesh.

Great bulletin board material for the Dawgs. Maybe not a funeral, but I'm gonna drink like it's an Irish wake. And here's a hysterical "reality show" reaction to those comments. And former NBA coach Eric Musselman talks black jerseys here.

I stopped watching Grey's long ago, but I might have to check this out. I know a lot of Alias fans hated her, but I think she's scorching hot (and she was great on In Treatment, too). Perhaps I just have a thing for foreign chicks with great lips and overbites (see Piper, Billie).

If Josh Groban's song medley and Melissa George are polarizing, the new detective on House was as well. House's seasonal "foils" can be that way (I hated Vogler, loved Stacy, hated Tritter, loved the "survivor" competition and Cutthroat Bitch) and Lucas follows in that tradition. Personally, I found him funny, quirky (in a good way) and entertaining. If indeed he gets "spun off" into his own show, I'd check it out.

How could anyone actually live like this? Hell, I know someone who actually tried to "raise" four kids in an environment like that. On a related note, in Columbus, this might have been called "the kiddie pool."

Damn, Joanie heated up the Emmys, no?

Beaver Fever! Damn. I watched some of that while I was falling asleep after a long day. Then I woke up after a bizarre dream (Sam and I were in a football stadium being attacked by alien spaceships) to find that the closing 3 minutes of the game were airing on ESPN. Life lesson: even Trojans aren't safe from an angry beaver. Given this stunning upset, could the Dawgs jump back to #1 with a win Saturday night?

Don't forget, Dexter returns Sunday night!

I'll take potpourri for $2,400, Alex

Have y'all seen the early concept and make up tests for The Joker? There's some creepy stuff in there, but all things considered, I think they wound up with the best possible result for Heath's look in The Dark Knight.

Brad Pitt is officially on board for QT's Inglorious Bastards, and the rest of the cast could shape up nicely.

Casting for Lost.

Sci-Fi Wire's Top 10 Brilliant But Canceled*. 1 and 2 are just fine in my book. (And by "just fine," I mean that they deserve to be at the top of the list -- not that it was fine that they were euthanized because the drooling masses just didn't get it).

*"Canceled is one of those words I always want to misspell. Doesn't it seem like there should be another "l" at the end? Cancelled. Doesn't that look better? Like "judgment." Shouldn't it be "judgement?" I remember seeing T2 in the theatre, and when the credits came up, I was like "holy shit! They misspelled the title!"

Time article about the Jamaica Bay plane crash -- a real life event that played a prominent role in last Sunday's brilliant Mad Men.

Hamlet: The Facebook news feed edition. Fucking Funny.

Seized at a traffic stop. Can't we just kill ourselves cheaply? Christ on a cracker, I hate this state. Better yet, wouldn't it have been cool if this van had wrecked, and I had been behind it in traffic? "Help me. I'm pinned under the van. Can you call an ambulance?" "Sorry dude. I'm just picking up some free smokes." (on a related note, I hope no one inspects my duffle bags coming back from GA next month).

Speaking of smoky treats, on a lark I signed up for some online promotion Marlboro was running. I didn't win a grand prize or anything, and forgot about it. However, when I got home last night, I found a package in the mailbox. It was a delightful "thank you for killing yourself slowly" gift.

The creator of the awesome summer show, The Middleman, talks to IO9. The season finale is going to feature an alternate universe, complete with goatees! And if the unthinkable happens, and the show is not renewed, what can fans do? Hmmmmmm. Plus, more appreciation for this hard to define treat.

Great extended interview with the creator of House.

Charles Van Doren, of the infamous quiz show scandals, opens up in a first person essay.

A very interesting look at the "Top 20 Albums of All Time." I think I have them all, except for Metallica.

Wait, if something is 55 million years old, does that make it older than 6,000 years old? Huh. Speaking of which, this made me giggle. Too bad I've already devoted that same automotive real estate to my alma mater.

And talking about the alma mater, welcome to the Bulldog portion of our broadcast:

7 and 24 seem to have their heads screwed on straight.

Will AJ Green live up to the hype? CMR seems impressed (and tells some interesting FSU stories). Also, Green outrunning Stafford's arm? Really? Was it a post pattern to Lawrenceville?

Uh-oh. Stewart Mandel opens up the can of worms again.

Carson Palmer says that 7 will be the first pick in the draft next year. Let's hope not. I want another year 'tween the hedges.

Online chat with Coach Richt.

Battlestar Galactica movie is officially happening. Jane Espenson writing, EJO directing, and the focus will be on the cylons. Awesome.

An amusing and fairly comprehensive run down of "Artificial Intelligence & Human Buddy Comedy Pairings."

A clip has surfaced from the Buffy animated series concept. Cute. A few years ago, I ordered a coffee mug with this image:

Coronation for a stuffed animal (plus a bit more)

Hey there blogosphere. I'm back from recent travels and ready to catch up on a few things. What did I miss? Oh, let's see (SPOILERS AHOY)...

Jim didn't propose to Pam, but Andy did to Angela, who is shagging Dwight. Micheal found true love with the crazy chick from Ben Affleck's movie, but found out Jan is having a baby that isn't his. Jack learned Clarie is his sister, the freighter is gonna blow, Sun is now (or will be) Alexis Carrington, Hurley's odometer hates him, Ben always has a plan, Batmanuel has a band of merry men, Faraday knows something about The Orchid, Kate's baby timeline isn't very convincing and Oceanic Air thinks the only bad PR is no PR. 13 has Huntington's, House loves Wilson, Wilson loves Amber (and those two deserve Emmys), Amber is dead and Chase and Cameron collected easy paychecks this year. Stella may be the mother, Robin thinks Springsteen is the American Bryan Adams and Barney may love Robin. Penny and Leonard went on a date, and Schroedinger's Cat really describes relationships. Earl found karma again, got another divorce and you can still live in a sideways trailer. I was wrong about the Gormogon killer, because it turned out to be Zack (?!), Bones thought Booth was dead but he wasn't, Booth likes to drink beer out of a helmet in the bathtub reading comic books (who doesn't? I mean really) and the whole episode was crammed full and pretty disappointing. Athena's kid draws some creepy pictures and got Natalie Six pumped full of lead for it, Roslin gave Tory a verbal airlocking, Felix sings better without a leg, Tigh's eventually gonna have some 'splainin' to to do, the hybrid has a plan of her own and Micheal Angeli wrote a fantastic episode that didn't bludgeon you over the head with the dramatic beats and deeper meaning (for once).

And that was just since I've been home.

I caught up on Idol, too. While David Cook has been my favorite (except for Carly, of course) this year, I think tonight was the victory for the squinty, stuffed Koala bear. Personally, I liked Cook's performances better, but there's no doubt the tweens will text away for Archie. His Elton John tune in Round 1 was really, really good and many voters will probably cast sympathy votes because they think his dad will beat him like a rented mule if he doesn't win (which oddly made me think of this classic magazine cover). Cook had an impossible task to live up to with Bono, though I like the underrated Collective Soul and for the first time I can remember, actually enjoyed a "winning" song I'd never heard before (I rewound Cook's Round 2 performance and might pick that up on iTunes). I could go on and on, but here's a summary from Alan Sepinwall that sums up my feelings quite well (including Randy's cliche-ridden uselessness).

Whew. That's a lot to handle for one night.

In praise of procedurals

In my television musings, I don't often write about "procedurals," typically overlooking those in deference to the ongoing plot complications of the more arc-defined shows like Lost or Battlestar Galactica. After all, by their nature, procedurals almost always wrap up the plot in a nice tidy package at the end of the hour, and don't send you scurrying to the interwebs to research the process by which new Dalai Lamas are chosen. But this past week, four of my favorite procedurals had amazing episodes that warrant some comment.

As many of you TV savants know, the producers of two CBS shows, Two and a Half Men and CSI: Original Recipe, decided to "swap shows" for an episode, and each write the other's program. I watched 2.5 (which I usually don't), and it was okay. The CSI gang did a fine job at sending up their directorial and storytelling tricks (especially the cop in the low cut tank top) on the sitcom, but it was the CSI story (written with cathartic relish by Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn) that really brought the laughs. It was a clear send up of Lorre's time working under monstrous divas on Roseanne, Grace Under Fire and Cybill, and was consistently amusing for the entire hour without sacrificing the CSI characters. Even if you're a casual fan of CSI, it was definitely worth checking out.

I'm truly digging the new cast of Law and Order, which ranks with the all time line ups of the show. Last week's episode, where Connie (the ADA) had to act as defense attorney due to a legal aid strike, was fantastic. It featured a wonderfully nuanced performance by Alana de la Garza and is one of those that will be worth multiple rewatches when it goes to TNT.

Last night also provided two outstanding procedural episodes of FOX's best non-Idol programming: Bones and House. Bones was a lighthearted (for the most part) episode about an American Idol wannabee who was found dead and decapitated in the weeds. It had the usual crackling chemistry between the leads and the rest of the cast (and I love that Sweets is now integrated into the plots), and had the bonus of Brennan letting loose on a karaoke stage to sing Cyndi Lauper (quite admirably!). Of course, that was immediately followed up by a nutty stalker ruining the fun, only to be quickly dispatched. Two quick points: I go along with the flow with most of the suspension of disbelief on this show, and actually enjoy Bones' pop-culture obliviousness. But how the hell does she actually write novels with well rounded characters without any awareness of things outside her scholarly pursuits? And how can her murder mysteries be best-sellers if she is so disconnected with the world of pop-culture? That still bugs. And finally, my prediction for the Gormogon serial killer (to be revealed next week, I think) is the lab tech who has subbed for Zack occasionally (like when he was in Iraq) and popped up in the courtroom ep last week.

That brings us to House, which offered a tantalizing glimpse inside House's subconscious last night. We don't know how the story is going to wind up yet (it's the first part of a two parter), but I would put that first hour up there with some of House's best eps (such as the brilliant "Three Stories" and this year's ep with Mira Sorvino in a remote research station). I didn't catch on until the very end, but wandering through House's memories and perceptions was great fun. Plus? Cuddy in a schoolgirl outfit. Bonus geek points for featuring Ivana Milicevic (Riley's "perfect" wife Sam on Buffy) as "the clue." A good "preview" of the show, along with clips, can be found here at Mo Ryan's blog.

The bitch is back.

Remember the last paragraph if this entry? It seems that this speculation was indeed correct, and Cutthroat Bitch -- or, as Wilson likes to call his new girlfriend, "Amber" -- is back.

Great post Super Bowl ep of House last night, and how nice to see the lovely and talented Anne Dudek back as Cutth....Amber. Looks like she, House and Wilson will have a nice emphasis in the next episode, which thankfully, is only two days away.

I'll take potpourri for $200, Alex

John Byrne, comic icon that I fondly remember from my youth and his time on the X-Men, will be doing a "Lorne" gig for the new (and quite good) Angel: After the Fall comic.

We missed an ep of the new Sarah Connor show on Monday so some empty suited hypocrites could lie to us, but I did stumble across this somewhat cogent breakdown of the various Terminator timelines. Well, as cogent as timeline breakdowns can be when the producers can't even remember the fucking years clearly spelled out in the previous movies. If you're making a show like this (or even one of the movies), wouldn't you have a huge-ass white board up in your writing room with meticulous documentation of all the various timelines and key dates?

Hey, Dinner for Five has an ep tonight! THAT is one of the many reasons I pray daily at the shrine of TiVo. I didn't delete my D5 season pass, and out of the fucking blue a new episode pops up in the To Do List. Just like it should. I've almost forgotten the ass-raping horrors of the three months with Comcast and their antediluvian, ersatz "DVR".

I'm really digging the new iPod and iTunes. More sometime soon on my experiences with this little gem.

Too bad the Super Bowl isn't in Columbus, Georgia. I'm sure the prices are cheaper.

Speaking of which, did anyone catch little Wilbur's question to Christian in the latest Nip/Tuck? "Daddy, is mommy a skank?" Assuming, of course, that a child of two parents who barely have a GED between them will ever learn nouns and verbs, I'm sure this question will be asked repeatedly in Georgia very soon. (And if ya want a real answer to that one, Junior, just ask me. Or any of about 21,387 local area used car salesmen, sweaty insurance agents, college drop outs, random strangers, workers at the area free clinic, drug dealers, construction workers, pimps, sugar daddies, your granddad's co-workers, fry-cooks, or...well....you get the idea).

Nina the werewolf is getting married to a pie-fucker!

Could Cutthroat Bitch be back on House? Pretty please? Could she be the "mystery girlfriend" of Wilson? And how sweet is Anne Dudek's triple play? House, Mad Men and Big Love? Quite impressive. There are the "triple play" actors from the Whedonverse, like Jonathon Woodward, Andy Umberger -- look at this dude's credits! he's the shrink on Mad Men and has been on a lot of quality TV in addition to the Jossverse -- Jeff Ricketts, and Carlos Jacott. But to bag some time on House, Mad Men and Big Love, all from different head writers/producers, makes a TV geek's heart grow two sizes larger.

The Canon: Best of Television 2007

With 2007 coming to an end and the supply of new episodes rapidly dwindling, it's time to do a quick review of the Best of 2007.

The Canon: TNRLM's Top 10 TV Shows of 2007

1. Battlestar Galactica
The season started with a bang (the flash forward to occupied New Caprica, capped by one of the most remarkable and stirring images ever to grace a television screen - Galactica dropping through the atmosphere to aid in the Exodus) and ended with a bang (Cylons revealed! Baltar not guilty! Starbuck returns! And All Along the Watchtower!). In between we had gut wrenching boxing matches, sacrifices, backstories, great character moments and some of the best writing, acting and directing TV has to offer. With only one real clunker ("The Woman King") and a captivating "extra" ("Razor"), BSG remains a hidden gem. If you don't like sci-fi in general or only remember the cheesy 70s show, you owe it to yourself to check out The Best Show on Television.

2. Mad Men
This instant classic came out of nowhere (AMC? Really?) to suddenly become one of the small screen's most intriguing tapestries. Set in the smoke and booze filled world of advertising in the 60s, Mad Men carves out a period of American history and explores the cultural mores of the time and fills it with fascinating characters. Former Sopranos producer Matthew Weiner has assembled a top notch ensemble to evocatively draw us into this world, anchored by Jon Hamm as complex adman Don Draper.

3. Big Love
Often overshadowed in HBO's stable of dramas by legends (The Sopranos) and spectacular flameouts (John From Cincinnati), Big Love only got better in its second season. While the audience may not always sympathize or agree with protagonist Bill Henrickson (Bill Paxton), it's the three sister wives played by Jeanne Tripplehorn, Chloe Sevigny and Ginnifer Goodwin that truly give the show heart and nuance. All three upped their games in this season and delivered outstanding performances that should be recognized at Emmy time.

4. House
Coming off an uneven third season (good riddance to the Tritter debacle), House rebounded in a spectacular way, upending the supporting cast dynamics with House's amusingly cruel game of professional "Survivor" as he selected three new associates to replace Chase, Cameron and Foreman (who stayed with the show, only on the periphery). The medical mystery of the week was still there, but the competition for staff positions was inspired, entertaining and gave TV's best asshole ample time to unleash an endless stream of bon mots. Plus, where else can you find Kumar and Cutthroat Bitch on a regular basis? Extra bonus: our first case of Lupus!

5. 30 Rock
While The Office got the awards previously, and rightfully inspired cultish fanaticism, 30 Rock did what few sitcoms do: deliver consistent laughs. A surprise winner for Best Comedy Emmy, Tina Fey and company skillfully walked the tightrope between high concept lunacy and workplace chuckles. While all the performances are top notch, it's Alec Baldwin's Jack Donaghy who is without question the funniest character on the small screen today. 30 Rock deftly weaves in pop culture references, political satire and flat out absurdity, all in one whip-smart package.

6. Lost
The less said about the opening "pod" of "cage episodes" (or Jack's tattoo story) the better, but once that meandering beginning was over, Lost kicked up the suspense, drama and mystery, all building to a mind-blowing finale. Elizabeth Mitchell was a fascinating addition as Juliet and no one on TV is as creepy as Michael Emerson's Benjamin Linus. Even though it divided fans, I found the Nicki and Paulo story funny, entertaining and delightfully morbid. Lost remains unlike anything else on TV, and the finale only ups the ante for the heights it can reach. I'm still firmly on the island.

7. The Sopranos
The television legend came to a close this year with an ending that will be debated for some time. What can't be debated, however, is the quality of the show (and the writing, acting, directing) that will go down in history as one of the all time greats.

8. The Closer
A simple set up (crime, investigation, Brenda gets a confession) yields far greater results than you would expect. Kyra Sedwick's central performance as Brenda Leigh Johnson (true southern quibbles with accents not withstanding) is a revelation, and she's surrounded by a taut, smart ensemble. Many times, it's not that hard to figure out "whodunnit," but the true joy of The Closer is watching Chief Johnson figure out how to get that "who" to admit it.

9. Bones
Another procedural, lifted from the ordinary by the effortless charm and palpable chemistry between leads David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel. The show features the best "will they or won't they" since Mulder and Scully and has a great supporting cast of intelligent and richly drawn characters.

10. Torchwood
Speaking of Mulder and Scully, this BBC America import is an X-Files for a new generation. Originally positioned as a more "adult" Doctor Who spinoff, Torchwood really came into its own toward the end of its maiden season. The aliens and monsters of the week are fun and creepy, but the real drama of Torchwood lies in the toll these battles take on team fighting them. And John Barrowman's Captain Jack Harkness is a character for the ages (literally).

Caveats:
Due to the relocation issues and horrors of Comcast (and their Hal 9000 TiFaux), I wasn't able to watch Dexter, which almost assuredly would have been toward the top of this list. I hope to catch up on Season 2 shortly, through Showtime repeats or DVD. (Same with Weeds and Californication). I also understand Pushing Daisies to be quite good, and look forward to watching that from the beginning. Finally, my low tolerance for kids on my TV keeps me from watching Friday Night Lights, though I may check my prejudices at the door and give it a try during the strike (if I can convince non-geeks to give BSG a shot, it's only fair that I follow my own advice about preconceptions).

Honorable Mention:
Psych
Eureka
Burn Notice
Doctor Who
Chuck
The Office
How I Met Your Mother

For other year end wrap ups, check out my two favorite critics: TV Guide's Matt Roush and the Chicago Tribune's Maureen Ryan.

Season Premieres and Entertainment Nuggets

Fall TV season has started, and here are a few initial thoughts:

I watched the premiere of Chuck (one of my "others to watch" recommendations) and was entertained. They didn't exaggerate the "nerd" angle to the annoying degree that the CBS comedy Big Bang Theory did. (I only caught about half of that, and while it elicited a few chuckles, it was far too broad and didn't seem interested in servicing the characters. "Klingon Boggle" made me laugh, though). The central character, Chuck, was likable and it sets up a decent enough premise. Chuck's sister was sweet, and her boyfriend, Captain Awesome, was well, awesome. And it's always good to see Jayne on the TV. I'll watch again.

I finally caught up on the first three episodes of Torchwood. I guess the fact that I watched them all back to back would signal that I'm on board with this English X-Files. Captain Jack isn't quite as devil may care and insouciant as he is on his Doctor Who appearances, but the plots move along nicely and I'm oddly attracted to the main detective despite the Letterman like gap in her teeth.

The returning shows were solid, if not spectacular. Heroes opened up a whole new can of issues for our genetically altered protagonists, but maybe I've fallen prey to overhype. I enjoyed the hour, but wasn't quite as smitten as I was last year. Maybe it was the lackluster season finale. Maybe I'm looking forward to Kristen Bell's appearance or Sylar's return. But the only standout moments in my book were HRG's approach to "manager management" at the copy store and David Anders' drunken turn as Hiro's hero, Kensai.

Shark is still an entertaining procedural, and Kevin Pollak (as the new DA) does sleazy and condescending well. Several Whodats from Sunday's premiere (in addition to Lt. Weinberg): character actor Dakin Matthews was the judge, and I recognized him as the headmaster of Rory's prep school on Gilmore Girls. Arnold Vosloo was the Russian mobster, and is best known as The Mummy. Kevin Alejandro is the new DA, and he was the bad seed brother on Fox's dear, departed Drive.

Bones also had a nice return to the air. It was good to see Patricia Belcher as the fiesty US Attorney, and Zack and Hodgins both had much needed haircuts. Angela's vacations sound fun, too, if a little complicated.

Mandy Moore was fun as a tatooed tart on How I Met Your Mother, where the show was once again stolen by Barney.

The best return I've seen this season was on House. Oh how I've missed your snark, Dr. House. The case was intriguing and I didn't figure it out until the end, which is always nice. But the good doctor had too many great lines to write down. Perhaps the best laugh out loud moment was "Dr. Buffer" suggesting "lupus." I didn't really miss the rest of House's team.

Great News: Mad Men has been renewed for another season!

Sad News: the rumors about Jan and Marcia having a lesbian fling don't appear to be true.

Making it rain: Entertainment Style

Whereby we throw up a bunch of $1 entertainment nuggets onto the stage and see which STDs take them home.

Here's a great Kevin Smith interview. Wide variety of topics covered, and definitely worth reading if you're a fan.

Some critics and fans are all aflutter about "fixing" American Idol. Personally, I didn't see that much wrong with this year. Sure, the Sanjaya thing threatened to hijack the season, but he was gone soon enough after the joke wore off. And the performances from a couple of the guest mentors were lackluster, at best. The hour results show has to go though. For those that don't have Tivo, this must have been the equivalent of waterboarding. Here's one article I read that seems to be representative of the complaints. To that, I say PLEASE FRAK NO! Idol is the ONE "reality" series I watch, simply because there doesn't seem to be very much of the "getting to know" the contestants. I don't care that Phil is a dad or in the armed forces. I don't give a shit about Lakisha not having a "baby daddy." All I want is the performance, the judging and the results. That's why I stopped investing in watching the Olympics long ago. I simply can't stand all the "packages" about everyone's background and personalities. I just want the competition. As for Idol fixes, I would shorten the results show back to 30 minutes, and give more consideration to the talent chosen for the final 12. If they wanted to replace a judge, I'd be okay with Randy hitting the bricks. He doesn't add much (other than his "credibility" at having worked with an admittedly respectable array of talent, which of course he reminds you about every 10 minutes), and his "dawg-isms" get old, quick.

I'm officially onboard with The Office. I caught the last few eps of this season, and have spent the last week devouring Season 2 on DVD. The commentaries on the discs are great, and often feature 6 or 7 people at a time (for a 22 minute show!). I don't even know why I didn't get on the bandwagon earlier, but this is a classic, right up there with Arrested Development.

Not sure why they held the House season finale until after sweeps, but it airs tomorrow night.

Good list from Premiere of the 100 greatest movie lines of all time.

Some of the folks over on TWOP are starting a Farscape "rewatch" from the beginning. If you've never seen this magnificent show, check it out. You'll thank me later.

I'll leave when I'm good and ready

A strange confluence of events last night resulted in two sly mentions of the "c-word" on TV.

First, there was the inspired fan in the outfield of the Nationals/Braves game. For more details, check out this post at Deadspin. Clever of him to start with the latter part of the word, making folks think he was going for the nice gesture of a "VT" for Virginia Tech.

Then, on House, after being pestered yet again about their "relationship" by Chase, Cameron told Chase "see you next Tuesday." This, of course, is meta on so many levels. First, in the plot of the show, Chase has been bringing up his longing for their former nookie sessions (and his "feelings for her") once a week, on Tuesdays. Second, the show actually airs on Tuesday. And finally, well, there's the "coded" meaning.

Which made me laugh and go find this beauty, which is perfectly applicable:

Whodat?

On Monday's Heroes, Ellen Greene was Sylar's mom. She's a Broadway vet, and probably most recognized as Audrey from the big screen Little Shop of Horrors. John Badham, of Wargames and Saturday Night Fever fame, was the director of the episode.

Michael Shanks, Dr. Daniel Jackson on Stargate SG-1, has been the spy collaborating with the Russians and banging the VP's girlfriend on recent eps of 24.

On last Tuesday's House, Shonda Farr played the chick in for a breast exam when Wilson was hysterically freaked out on uppers House had dosed his coffee with. I recognize her most as April, the fuckbot Warren built in Buffy's "I Was Made to Love You." Coyote Ugly's Piper Perabo was the vegan House is attempting to get jiggy with.

On last week's wacky CSI (and really, hasn't this been the best season of this show?) about alien conspiracy nuts, Ally Sheedy (Breakfast Club!) was "true believer" who bit Greg and beheaded the "serpent queen." Enrico Colantoni (Papa Mars, Galaxy Quest and Just Shoot Me) was the sleazy perp. Julie Hagerty (Airplane!) was his con victim who really, really wanted to believe the serpentine aliens were here on earth, who needed to be beheaded (Paris Hilton's head is still attached, so no "mission accomplished").

On Tuesday's superb return to form for Veronica Mars (why didn't they come back from hiatus with this ep, instead of the PSA about tolerance?), Paul Rudd was the snarkalicious former rock star, Desmond Fellows. Paul, of course, you would recognize from Clueless, Friends and all the Apatow comedies. Also on VM that night was Suzanne Cryer as the Chinese teacher who had a thing for Desmond. I've had a crush on her since she was Ashley on Two Guys and a Girl, and most recently she popped up on Desperate Housewives.

On last night's Bones, Emily Deschanel's father, noted cinematographer Caleb Deschanel, was the ep's director.

Whodat, Geekiness and Happy Endings

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Making it rain: Lost, House, Idol and More!

Whereby we throw up a bunch of $1 entertainment nuggets onto the stage and see which STDs take them home.

House
Tuesday's House was one of the more interesting and humorous in a long time. The case itself was mildly interesting, but mostly this hour was about the complicated relationships going on within the walls of Princeton Plainsboro: Chase and Cameron, House and Wilson, Wilson and Cuddy, House and Cuddy, Cameron and a horny 8 year old. Jam packed with funny lines, like:

"You did not just play the 'dead husband' card..."

"It shouldn't be so hard."

"Just be straight with her."
"I have no idea how to do that."

"SERIOUSLY?" (That whole oft-repeated bit was hysterical)

"Do you have hair on your special place?"

"Delegating? That's smart."
"We're not his subordinates!"
"All the more impressive."

"How was the play, Mrs Lincoln?"

"Panty hamster"

"Okay, then why did you take her to a play?"
"She's a friend."
"Friend with a squish mitten."

Idol
The long national nightmare of Sanjaya is over, y'all. After drawing and quartering Bonnie Raitt on Tuesday, even the "Vote For The Worst" faction couldn't keep this charade going. (Although, I must admit that I wasn't completely heartless, and felt a little sad watching him lose it after getting the boot). From here on out, I'm fine with what happens, though I certainly hope Lakisha (she has a kid!) and Chris (Nasally is a style!) are the next to get a ciggie and blindfold. And I'm glad they took the time to explain the "Simon rolls his eyes" controversy. As he said, Simon may be a total ass, but he's certainly not going to mock the victims of a national tragedy. If you were a true cynic, you could have thought Chris calculatingly invoked the victims as a canny plea for votes, and that's what Simon was rolling his eyes over (yes, I thought that. But then again, I hoped the backlash over this would save us from more nasal boy band song stylings, too). Better to just let the whole thing drop, and keep our pop-culture froth free of meaning and import. Oh wait. Next week, we have to suffer through "Idol gives back" where the contestants sing "songs of hope" (I won't hold my breath for anything like "Highway to Hell" or "Have a Drink on Me") and endless goop that will probably better suited to a Jerry Lewis telethon. My fast-forward finger is already limbering up.

Lost
Last night's Desmond-centric episode of Lost was yet another solid installment of a rejuvenated franchise. While not totally mind-blowing as the past few eps, I always welcome learning more about Desmond, and his doomed, Odysseus-like journey away from his beautiful true love Penny. I could care less about Kate's feelings for Jack, but I do appreciate Sawyer's "hey, I'm gonna get laid" take on the quadrangle. And as usual, he gets all the best lines:

"Do I need to make you a mix tape?"

"You two arguing over who's your favorite Other?"

"We don't play every 108 minutes, the island's gonna explode."

Hurley and Charlie's bit about the race between Flash and Superman (a race for charity? Hee. Maybe they could get Ryan Seacrest to host, and give back) does deserve some props, too.

Miscellaneous
Great article on the under appreciated How I Met Your Mother, here. I cannot fathom why this show doesn't draw more viewers. It's smart, funny, well-written, well-acted. Of course, we also live in a TV world where Lost is losing viewers, and shows like Drive, Andy Barker PI, Raines and Veronica Mars struggle to find an audience. Yet the search for the next Pussycat Whore is considered a "hit." The mind boggles.

Speaking of Andy Barker, here's a good "eulogy" for the best sitcom since Arrested Development.

And speaking of the talented "singers" and female role models (cough, cough) peddling their wares on the CW, here's a fantastic article on their cultural significance. Excellent analysis and prose, and any article that coins the phrase "Generation Whoring Sea Donkey" is worth a careful read. (Note: it's in Salon, which means it's subscriber-only, or you'll have to watch a brief ad. So turn off your adblock for this. It's worth it).

Even a fetus will lie

Why wouldn't a fetus lie? Everyone else does, according to Dr. Gregory House. And me.

Last night's House was entertaining, and threw a bit of twist on the formula by having Cuddy play the House role, even if it was a bit overly sentimental and maudlin.

I generally fast forward through or skip entirely all the maternal angst, but at least in this one House represented a more antagonistic and unpopular opinion, until his pragmatism had to cop out and melt at the end, under the withering force of a sensationalized pro-life tiny hand and Cuddy's annoying I have no identity unless I spawn character assassination.

Still, there was the usual snark:

• Mom about her gay sperm donor: "He took a magazine and a cup into the bathroom." House: "A man after my own heart. With a different magazine, obviously."
• "Vacationing in Cambodia? Gonna unwind in the killing fields?"
• "Who are the Jews in this metaphor?"
• "Chase just agreed because he didn't want to lose his all access pass to her love rug."
• "Stale pee is useless pee."
• "Be patient, she's going through all of us. She'll get that jungle fever eventually."
• 'I just realized I forgot to TiVo Alien.''

And despite my boredom with her story line, Lisa Edelstein acted the hell out her scenes. Interesting that Cuddy warned Cameron about being the one hurt in her "friends with benefits" relationship with Chase, even though it's poor puppy dog Chase that's obviously going to be the one thrown under the relationship bus.

Decent episode saved (as usual) by well crafted smart-assery. Average B. I can only hope they don't put Cuddy's womb on the train to Voglerville or Trittertown. Next week looks to be a bit outside the normal box and quite exciting.

Whodat?: The guest star photographer was Anne Ramsay, who played Brenda's boss on Six Feet Under and also appeared on a couple of Star Trek: TNGs as Ensign Clancy.