Tubal Anticipation

Tonight brings the mid-season finale of Caprica, and I can't wait. Of course I was going to be interested in a "prequel" set in the Battlestar Galactica universe, even if Ron Moore and company didn't exactly stick the landing on the finale of that seminal series. Caprica has struggled a bit, as all new series do, to find its footing with tone, story arcs and character development in this first run of episodes, particularly with the adult female characters*, but in my opinion, it's never been less than interesting, and has frequently been captivating and addictive. Tonight's ep, "End of Line," wraps up the first 10 of the show's 20 episode first season, before returning sometime in the fall. The producers claim to have a handle the on the nature of the show now, and say that things really come together in that back run of 10 episodes, which have already been shot. That's very encouraging, since I've been glued to my set for the first half.

*Which is odd, given Jane Espenson's position as head writer. Jane has written for some of the most iconic female characters on television, serving as part of the creative teams behind Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Battlestar Galactica, Firefly and Gilmore Girls. Plus, the two adult female leads, Paula Malcomson (Amanda Graystone) and Polly Walker (Sister Clarice) are terrific, immensely talented actresses.

Which brings me to my point for this post. As we know, I watch a LOT of TV. There are some shows that I watch out of habit, or loyalty, and put on while I'm folding the laundry, reading a book, paying bills or surfing around the intertoobz. Then there are others that I actively anticipate, can't wait to watch, and drop everything for when they come on. So what programs rise above the DVR's "I'll watch it when I get around to it" convenience, and become "must watch?" Glad you asked.

This is a list of the "most anticipated" programs each week, not necessarily the "best." (Similar to a discussion of "best" vs. "favorite" TV shows, where the former would almost certainly be topped by The Wire, and the latter would probably be headlined by one of the Whedon tales, like Firefly or Buffy; they're not necessarily mutually exclusive, but are definitely different lists).

So, my Top 5 Most Anticipated Dramas Each Week:

1. Lost
2. Caprica
3. Justified
4. Supernatural
5. Fringe

Top 5 Most Anticipated Comedies Each Week:

1. Archer
2. Glee
3. Community
4. Parks & Recreation
5. Big Bang Theory

Because of the nature of split seasons and airing schedules, some shows I would ordinarily include aren't on here. For example, Sons of Anarchy, True Blood and Doctor Who would probably compete for a place on the list in the "off season" among the dramas, as would It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia or Party Down with the Comedies.

So what shows to you anticipate most each week?

TV "Style Conventions" I Love

Beyond the characters, the writing, the plotting, the direction and the acting, there are many reasons why you might love a television show. Little stylistic choices, or "conventions" if you will, that help establish the mood and tenor of a program. For example, the ticking clock (both visually and aurally) on 24. Episodes titles for Friends that are always "The One With...." The "chung chung" sound on Law & Order.

Here are a few from current shows that I love:

The character-identifying chyron titles on Burn Notice, where the text flies in and freeze frames someone as "Michael's Worst Nightmare" or "Arms Dealer with a Grudge."

The 3D floating location identifiers on Fringe.

When the crew on Leverage pulls a con, toward the end of the episode, we usually get a quick black and white flashback to show how they did it.

The different sounds used to indicate a flashback, flashforward or flashsideways on Lost.

The "to the camera" confessionals on The Office and Parks & Recreation.

The choral "soundtrack" and musical stingers on Glee.

The faux Veridian Dynamics commercials that usually run during an episode of Better Off Ted.

The way the credits to The Closer typically unfold, with a full opening scene playing out, interspersed with stark text on black background credits, all underscored with a bluesy guitar.

The episode naming conventions for The Big Bang Theory and Community, which suggest (respectively) scientific theorems ("The Lizard-Spock Expansion") or college classes ("Comparative Religion").

Belle's in character (but out of story) asides to the camera/audience in Secret Diary of a Call Girl.

The "fake FBI Agent" names (usually classic rock inspired) the Winchester brothers always give in Supernatural ("Agent Plant and Agent Page").

The beautifully done depiction of Zoe Graystone, the "personality" trapped inside the Cylon robot, in Caprica, which cuts back and forth from the CGI'd gleaming metal monstrosity to actress Alessandra Torresani.

What about you? What conventions or stylistic quirks from your favorite shows make you love them that much more?

Good TV Reminder

Yes, November sweeps are over, and the nation is breathlessly wondering "what the fuck is going on with Tiger Woods?!" But that doesn't mean there isn't tubey goodness to be had:

Tonight, we have the season 2 finale of FX's terrific outlaw biker drama Sons of Anarchy. And it's 90 minutes, so check your DVRs accordingly.

Also on tonight, there's a new show on the Science Channel called Sci-Fi Science hosted by Dr. Michio Kaku, author of "Physics of the Impossible." He will examine the scientific plausibility of things like lightsabers, warp drive and stargates. I want to build a time machine out of empty whiskey bottles, paper clips and my BlackBerry. I wonder if this will help.

There's a new Glee tomorrow, and hopefully it will be fake baby-free, or this plot will get aborted soon.

There's also a new Fringe Thursday. It's been struggling on Thursday nights, so show up and watch, y'all.

And Friday, there's not one BUT TWO brand spankin' new Dollhouse episodes (with Ray Wise! And Summer Glau!).

Oh, and if you'd given up on House after it squandered the potential of the wonderful season premiere, catch last night's "Wilson" episode on the intertubes. It was a great, "Zeppo" or "Lower Decks" look at Hugh Laurie's sidekick.

Can you abort a fake baby?

Or rather, can you abort a storyline about a fake baby? Because tonight is Glee night, friends, and the story about Terri Schuester's fake baby is a four ton anchor strapped to the wings of a candy coated Concorde trying to soar into the skies.

Glee is unlike anything on TV today. An over the top melodrama-musical-hourlong sitcom filled with wafer thin characters and plot holes bigger than Kanye's ego that succeeds in spite of all of this, because it's a big box of fun wrapped up in a sparkly joie de vivre paper and topped with a huge bow of wit, placed under the Nasty Tree for opening on Sarcasm Day. The characters are broadly sketched, yes, but so capably and endearingly performed (dramatically, comedically and musically) that Glee overcomes almost all of its foibles. And of course, the incomparable Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester simply PWNS every scene she's in.

So what's the problem, you ask?

Well, it's the FAKE FUCKING BABY.

Look, I normally hate kids on my shows -- especially babies. I just don't have the patience for it. Have no interest in it. Don't care about the struggles and don't go "awwwww" every time a character gets all schmoopy about motherhood, fatherhood, or the miracle of life. But that's not it. No, it's the utter unbelievability of the FAKE FUCKING BABY as a storyline. (And this is from a show that features Mercedes not realizing Kurt is gay and falling in love with him. That features Emma deciding to marry the coach even though she's in love with Will. That features Terri getting hired (for a day) as a school nurse without any applicable background. That features a skeevy possible pedophile getting hired back into the school district. That features a lead character so dumb and naive that he thinks he impregnated his girlfriend via his sperm doing the backstroke in a hot tub). Every time the FAKE FUCKING BABY comes up, I shudder and reach to change the channel. It takes me right out of the giddy trance the rest of the show has put me in.

I mean, it's not like I can't accept some weird, otherworldy or preposterous situations on my favorite shows. For example, many of the programs on the top of my TiVo season pass showcase:

• People that are wiped clean mentally via computer and assume the personality and skills of ninjas, mothers, hookers, social workers, dead people and assassins.
• An island that travels in time and disappears, and has a smoke monster and polar bears on it.
• Police departments and government organizations that week after week allow fake psychics, OCD detectives, pulp thriller authors, facial lie detection experts, twitchy mad scientists, mathematicians and convicted criminals to help them solve crimes.
• Pill popping, snarky doctors that offend everyone around them and consistently violate the laws of man, decorum and the land to treat patients and stay gainfully employed.
• A serial killer, who works for the police force and moonlights as a married father of three, all while butchering only other really bad people.
• A world where everyone blacked out for a couple of minutes and had a vision of the future, and all the related issues are trying to be solved by a couple of folks and a website.
• Two brothers, destined to be the meat puppet vessels of the angel Michael and Satan himself, who drive around the countryside killing demons and helping people with their supernatural problems while trying to avert the coming apocalypse.
• A kickass government agent and high efficiency killing machine who regularly stays up for 24 hours straight, without eating, taking a shit or having his cell phone battery go dead.

You get the picture. My suspension of disbelief goes a LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way.

But the FAKE FUCKING BABY? No.

Even though they worked in a half-assed plot thread last week about "staging" an ultrasound, how in the blue hell is this thing supposed to work?

First, you're telling me that Will, no matter how many late nights he spends trying to find another song for the Glee Club to perform or sharing hand sanitizer with the moon-eyed Emma, doesn't ever see his wife without her shirt on? Never catches her in the shower? Never sees her changing clothes? Doesn't snuggle up to her at night? And from TV (and thankfully, no personal experience), I've learned that dads want to actually touch the gestating bundle of expense, mess and noise growing in their partner's belly. None of this has happened? Really?

And second, I know Terri is written as being a bit dim and desperate, but what the hell is her final plan? Quinn goes into labor at the exact same time that Terri does? And they are in the same hospital? And Will isn't allowed in the delivery room? And no one else is either, except for the doctor she's bought off/blackmailed into helping her? And as soon as Quinn squirts out her little bundle of joy (also in a delivery room with no one else present), someone (maybe Terri's sister) swaddles it up, takes it away, and places it inches from Terri's vagina and declares "oh lookee what I found!?" And Terri tosses her fake belly in the delivery room trash can? And Quinn and her family and everyone else just assumes the magically disappearing baby ran straight from her uterus to a worthy adopting family, with zero post-birth medical care nor any official records? And the hospital staff doesn't catch on to this? And no one else notices this? Not even when the baby turns out to be sporting a mohawk?

Really, Glee? REALLY?

Where the hell can we go from here? Personally, I think Jessalyn Gilsig is a fine actress, and doing absolutely all she can with the worst major series plotline since a "sketch comedy show" spent untold eye-rolling hours dealing with a hostage crisis and a soldier STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF AFGHANISTAN! Obviously, Terri's lies need to unravel, and unravel quickly for the show to have any shred of believability, even in a gleefully heightened reality like the one on the show.

So how do you feel about the FAKE FUCKING BABY, TNRLMers? (choose as many answers as applicable, and sound off in the comments if you like)

What To Watch: Wednesdays

For what to watch on Mondays (and the intro to what to watch), check here. For Tuesday, check here. Which brings us to Humpday!

Show	Net	Day	Time	Priority
Glee	FOX	WED	900	Watch
Law & Order: SVU	NBC	WED	900	Sleepytime
Criminal Minds	CBS	WED	1000	Sleepytime
Nip/Tuck	FX	WED	1000	DVR
South Park	COM	WED	1000	DVR

Glee: Obviously, the big news on Wednesday is Ryan Murphy's new hard to define Glee. Is it a musical? A drama? A comedy? Is it a parody of high school shows? Does it take itself and its characters seriously? I don't know the answers to the questions, but I'm sure as hell going to watch to find out. (for my review of the pilot, check here). Murphy knows his way around part of the genre, based on his track record with the spotty, but often hilarious, Popular. The premiere episode, aired much earlier this year following American Idol, showed a lot of promise (and yeah, who other than me downloaded "Don't Stop Believin" by the Glee cast and wore out their iPod?). School diva Rachel Berry (played by broadway vet Lea Michele) has a soaring and powerful voice, and the teacher in charge of Glee Club is winningly played by Matthew Morrison. And of course, Jane Lynch steals every scene she's in. But will Jessalyn Gilsig's (an actress I really like) one note harpy of a wife wear thin? (For her take on the character, check out this HitFix interview). How much will the musical numbers take you out of the drama, comedy and reality of the show? Will the song selections always be so pop culturally relevant and inspired? We shall see, won't we?

Law & Order SVU: This is another show I tune into out of habit. SVU is actually my least favorite of the franchise, and the season pass is designated "keep until space is needed." Perhaps the return Stephanie March and the usual parade of quality guest stars in lurid plotlines can spice it up.

Criminal Minds: Critics loathe this show, and I can see why. An ex got me to watch a few eps with her; I started watching more regularly, and found it to be an interesting, if occasionally sensationalistic and ghoulish, way to spend an hour with a cast I really like (including major crush Paget Brewster, Matthew Gray Gubler, Joe Mantega, Kirsten Vangsness and AJ Cook -- with occasional guest spots from geek icons like Wil Wheaton and Nick Brendon).

Nip / Tuck: See, THIS is what worries me about Glee. Nip / Tuck started off effectively walking the line between overcooked melodrama and outright camp, and in latter seasons completely went off the rails, barely resembling its originally witty take on superficiality and bromance (effectively sauteed with high concept storytelling and characterization). Still, we're in the home stretch now, and Nip / Tuck will return for a final victory lap, so I'll give it a chance to rebound.

South Park: Last season, with a few exceptions ("Pinewood Derby," anyone?) was just as funny as always.

I'll sing along with "Glee"

Quick thoughts on the premiere of last night's FOX show, Glee.

Despite the fact that I had to watch the last few minutes of the climactic, and spectacularly entertaining, showstopper "Don't Stop Believin'" on Hulu today (thanks AGAIN, incompetent fucking Idol producers - we're thisclose to breaking up), the pilot for Glee was a definite winner in my book, and will take its place on the hallowed TiVo season pass list when it returns in the fall.

When Glee was in tune:

• The show was, for the most part, wonderfully cast. Matthew Morrison was fine as the wistful Glee club coordinator Wil Schuester, Jane Lynch brought her consistent funny, and the underused Jayma Mays shined her doe-eyed appeal as an OCD fellow teacher with an inappropriate crush on our married central figure. But the huge revelation for me was broadway vet Lea Michele as Glee club superstar Rachel Berry, a singing, dancing Tracy Flick with a raging ego and powerhouse pipes. Her narcissism was funny, and somewhat endearing, because DAMN she can sing, and it helps to have her consistently taken down a peg (the smoothie to the face was rewatched about 5 times here). We also had Stephen Tobolowsky (Ned?!) enjoying some medical maryjane, and future episodes promise Victor Garber and Kristin Chenowith, among others.
• Fantastic musical numbers. Both of last night's numbers, "Rehab" and "Don't Stop Believin'" were performed and shot well. Also, equally important, is that the songs are familiar. I read an interview with producer Ryan Murphy where he indicated that this will be the norm for the show, and that all the songs chosen for the club (and rival clubs) to perform will be tunes that have made their way into the public consciousness. Also, a problem that many folks have with musicals is when characters break the "script" and just start singing. I'm okay with that, if I know what I'm in for (Grease, Chicago, Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, Moulin Rouge), or if there's an interesting plot device to make it so (Buffy's "Once More With Feeling"). We didn't see that last night, so it will be interesting to see if the numbers are kept within the confines of the Glee club performances.
• The little touches, like eschewing musical cues for choral beats, especially between scenes.
• The dialogue and initial characterizations were pretty funny. Murphy can write some amusing and subversive stuff. For example, take this "greatest hits" of his creation Mary Cherry from Murphy's previous high school show, Popular:

Any chance of Leslie Grossman showing up on Glee? We can only hope.

When Glee wasn't in tune:

• Was it just me, or was the singing ability of the star jock not "all that?" I mean, he wasn't horrible or anything, but for someone who was supposed to be a backbone or savior of the group, he couldn't hold his own with Rachel, who just blew him off the stage.
• I love Jessalyn Gilsig, and she was pitch perfect as batshit crazy Gina Russo on on Murphy's other show, Nip/Tuck. But her shrill harpy of a wife on Glee doesn't engender much sympathy, and I'm not sure the format and confines of the show will allow her to be as enjoyably nuts as she was on the former program. After 43 minutes, I wanted Wil to cut her throat and leave her in the "crafts closet," and go have a perfectly de-crusted PB&J with the sweet, adorable germophobic teacher.
• Between the movies and TV, haven't we mined every possible storyline from high school? I'm sure we can find an interesting way to tread on familiar ground with these characters, but it's definitely a concern.
• Speaking of concerns, Ryan Murphy's track record is also a bit spotty. I loved the first few seasons of Nip/Tuck, but that show went completely off the rails the older it got, despite the heavy lifting of a talented cast.

Still, Glee was a a welcome wind of something completely different, and I'll be around in the fall to see where they take it. A solid B+ start.

Until then, enjoy it while you can: