According to a phone call placed from the pokey to intrepid journalist Baba Wawa, everyone's favorite uneducated skank has found the Lord. No press release (or cosmic phone call to Joy Behar) from the Almighty regarding his disappointment about being located.
Nothing like three days of "hard time" to stir your religious convictions. Of course, there's no better way to demonstrate faith and morality than being a drug-addled, wonky-eyed, vapid, shallow, money-grubbing, uneducated, STD-riddled, manipulative, club-hopping, worn out, perfidious whore.
I would find this wholly unbelievable, if I hadn't already "watched this exact same movie" before.
However, Endeavor, Hilton's agent, doesn't share the same enthusiasm for the open-thighed heiress as does the magical creator of all things.