Infielder on milk carton

With all the good news and bright spots surrounding this year's edition of the Atlanta Braves (Hudson looks great! Bullpen is a strength! McCann and Frenchy hitting! Different heroes every night! Best record in baseball!), there's one truly bizarre story emerging.

Infielder Willy Aybar is nowhere to be found. Aybar, who was obtained in the deal for Wilson Betetmit last year (and I hated to see Betemit go, though he's hitting less than .100 right now), was to be the back up for Chipper when he invariably suffers a foot injury at some point during the year.

He had the typical "visa problems" getting to spring training, and suffered a hand injury that put him on the shelf for a while. Then, he failed to show up for treatment for the injury and has not been seen nor heard from since. Huh? Is he on an island getting a new nickname from Sawyer? What is this? How does a player on a major league roster just vanish? I haven't read anything about contract squabbles or pulling a Derek Bell (the hilarious "Operation Shutdown"). Where the hell is he?

Possible reasons for Willy Aybar's disappearance:

• Bob Wickman threatened to take his per-diem meal money every day.
• With Scott Thorman and Pete Orr on the roster, there are too many Canadians around. And from watching South Park, you know they can't be trusted.
• Was last seen partying with Ron Mexico.
• Got map to stadium from Pascual Perez.
• Man-crush on Jeff Francouer was unrequited.
• Thought Oceanic 815 was team charter.
• Disappointed that Chipper doesn't resemble Heather Mills yet.
• He's been playing with the Atlanta Hawks, and no one noticed.
• Irrational fear of John Schuerholz's suspenders.