Sunday, April 29, 2007

Childhood crush tangentially responsible for blight on humanity

Remember Kim Richards? She's the blond, adorable, raspy-voiced actress who charmed kids everywhere (including me) playing "Tia" in the childhood classic Disney movie Escape to Witch Mountain. That the first real celebrity crush I remember having, and I was completely smitten. Richards later went on to roles in Diff'rent Strokes, Hello Larry and even tarted up to star opposite James Spader in Tuff Turf.

I was flipping channels today, and caught an old Magnum PI where she played a spoiled, self-absorbed tennis brat that Magnum had to protect in Robin Masters' pro-am tournament. So I googled her and discovered a horrifying fact. She is the aunt of vapid, worthless, wonky-eyed, morally bankrupt, talent and charisma-free walking STD Paris Hilton. Kim's older sister, Kathy Richards, married into the Hilton family and became Kathy Hilton, mother, who spawned Paris in Rosemary's Baby fashion.

Somehow, this knowledge forever taints a childhood memory.

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