Readin', Ritin' and Rithmatic? Fuck dat shit.

It seems that the proverbial "3 Rs" are taking a backseat to the Cocktail Party in the Classic City.

Call it a case of the Red and Black flu.

Tired of struggling to find enough teachers to staff its classrooms on the Friday before the annual Georgia-Florida football game, the Clarke County (Ga.) School District -- which includes Athens, home of the University of Georgia -- decided to cancel school altogether.

According to area media reports, 137 teachers last year called in sick the day before the big game, and the district was able to find only 113 substitutes

Priorities, people, priorities. That's your government indoctrination working for you.

If you follow the link to the story at the WWL, you can see a video with Mel Kiper and Todd McShay debating the merits of the game. While they both pick the Jorts to win (asshats), you can also watch the helmet-haired one bitchslap his usurper when it comes to one Matthew Stafford. (And damn, I can't keep it straight anymore. Is 7 "overrated" or "underrated?" Early on, it was all "great arm, but what's he done?" that made you think of Crash Davis evaluating Nuke LaLoosh. Recently, it's been "yeah, Knowshon is awesome, but the Dawgs' fortunes ride on the right arm of Stafford" and "watch him check into the right plays" and "finally, someone can catch a fucking ball." {AJ Green is The Truth, y'all.} I will say this: if on the field success comes down to only the ability to perform circumcisions, get photographed with melon-breasted coeds or blather shamelessly about the supernatural, we're in trouble).

Technical updates for y'all

Two quick "tech things" for TNRLM readers:

1) Is everyone getting their regular RSS feeds for the blog okay? I noticed something was hinky with feedburner early in the week, but it appears to be straightened out now. Let me know in the comments or via the email link on the right side if you've been having problems (and perhaps I'll come to your home and personally read the posts to you).

2) Your geeky editor has added a new toy to the blog:



You'll notice this little button at the end of each post. It's the "AddThis" button, and makes it easier than ever to share the content here with friends. If it works like it should, you just put your mouse over it and you'll get a drop down menu that will let you share these brilliant musings with others you love.

Oh, and just for good measure: Gators suck.

Dawgs vs. Tigers: The Gameday Experience, Vol. V

TNRLM Editor's Note: I didn't make the sojourn to Louisiana for the epic beatdown the Dawgs laid on LSU last weekend. However, TNRLM contributor the fabulous Freebird (you may recall the Sugar Bowl recap) did, and following is his account (complete with pictures!) of the experience.

I'm sure that many of the dozens of regular blog readers of TNRLM were wondering where their usual tailgate recap was following the Georgia/Vandy game.

Unfortunately, your regular correspondent spent most of the postgame afternoon napping in the Jeep Cherokee, so I suppose that there was not much to recall.

[Ed: Image pixelated to protect the incoherent. Or perhaps that's just an unusual skin condition caused by the combination of flu medication and whiskey].

Ms. Freebird and I blame ourselves, since thanks to the good Doctor, we were able to "move on up to that deluxe apartment" in the Sky Club, as the good Doctor and Ms. M chose not to attend the Dores battle.

Without proper supervision, the above is the type of event that occurs, and you, faithful readers, are left without a tailgate recap.

Nevertheless, I was asked to share a few details of our trip to Red Stick with the Blog readers, and am happy to do so.

The Scrats, Freebirds, and a host of North Georgians spent the weekend at the Beau Rivage in Biloxi. [Ed: I got engaged there once, long ago. And it lasted almost 6 weeks! Post engagement pictures would probably resemble the photo above, including "pixelation."] The rooms were comped, and three card poker was kind, so it was all good.

The ladies stayed at the casino while Scrat and I jumped on a charter bus to the game on Saturday. We stopped in Slidell where we received half of a chicken, a BBQ pork sandwich, and a fried pie. Jake and Elwood Blues were nowhere to be seen.

Upon arriving in Red Stick, we made the obligatory visit to see Mike the Tiger. They keep him in a glassed-in enclosure, and he doesn't really seem to do a lot.


He was in the shade, but unlike UGA, apparently doesn't get air conditioning, or a nice bag of ice to lay on.

I was surprised that the outside of the stadium looked as much like a "Soldier Field" type of stadium as it did. Its also been a while since there was any significant remodeling inside. Lots of pipes and concrete from back in the day from when Governor Long was firing LSU football coaches.

For those that haven't heard that story, Louisiana Governor Huey Long loved his LSU Tigers. He attended every game, traveled with the team, and even led the band in parades. In the early 1930s, it was also apparent Long didn't have much love for coach Biff Jones. Jones was the coach at LSU for three seasons, from 1932-34. In those three years, Jones compiled a 20-5-6 record, which, however, did not please Long. At halftime of the 1934 season finale, LSU was losing to Oregon 13-0. Long approached Jones in the locker room, wanting to talk to the team. Jones said, “No,” to which Long responded, “Who’s going to stop me?” Jones again refused, and Long said, “I am sick and tired of losing and tying games.” And he added, “You’d better win this one.” Jones quipped, “Well Senator, get this: Win, lose, or draw, I quit!” Long bellowed, “What a bargain!” The Tigers won that day 14-13, but Jones stood by his word. (From Scout.com)


Great SEC environment at the beginning of the game, as one would expect.


As to the game, Stafford played probably his best game at UGA. Moreno won't go down. AJ Green is indeed "The Truth". Our line pass protected very well for Stafford. The main concern I had was how easy LSU moved the ball on us in the second half. Incredibly sloppy tackling. Will have to improve that for this Saturday. [Ed: Freebird was right about Stafford. However, he didn't get the benefit of hearing the color analysis on CBS by Gary Danielson, who was effusive in his praise of #7. So effusive, I'm surprised we didn't hear about a post game sexual assault, with the former Lions QB attempting a locker room reach around while Uncle Verne queued up some Barry White in the background].

By the beginning of the 4th qtr. and a three touchdown Georgia lead, things had thinned out a bit.
Despite their reputation, we had no problems with the LSU fans. Probably as noisy a group as I have ever heard, but didn't really find anyone wanting to pick a fight or otherwise.

The guy right behind us was as loud for the Tigers as any fan I've ever heard (and this coming from a pretty loud fan); but once Georgia got up by three touchdowns in the third quarter, he got on his cell phone and began giving instructions to his wife for the post game setup. However, he was still quite loud, and Scrat and I found out that you need the charcoal really hot for the pork tenderloins, that you don't want the fire too hot for the jambalaya, and that a garlic and ginger rub, mixed with the marinade under the table, makes for a tasty post game LSU treat.

A 2 1/2 hour bus ride home put us back at the Beau Rivage about 9:45 PM. Unfortunately, our Slidell caterer apparently misjudged how many cans of cold beer would be required by 30 Georgia fans, so we had to finish off the trip with Budweisers. [Ed: did you get pixelated?] The Candidate would have been happy.

All in all, a great SEC road trip. The Gators await.

Ed: There you have it. A first person account of the Dawgs - Tigers Gameday Experience, a bit of history about Huey Long, and post-ass-whipping tailgate tips straight from the mouth of a bona fide cajun. What more could you ask for? Many thanks to Freebird for his diligent correspondence and photo essay. Bring on the Jorts.

I might have a problem with Step 4

I didn't make it to last night's SNL, hosted by Jon Hamm, but thanks to the miracle of Hulu, I didn't have to.

Here's "Don Draper's Guide to Picking Up Women:"



Don't forget: Mad Men season finale tonight at 10 on AMC.

Who would be that stupid?

By now, I'm sure everyone has heard the story of one Ashley Todd, the 20 year old who claimed she was attacked by a 6'4" black man, who became so enraged that she had a McCain/Palin bumper sticker on her car, that he robbed her at an ATM and carved a backwards 'B' on her face.

Many things in the story didn't make sense. Why didn't she call police immediately? Why did she wait 45 minutes to report the attack, from a friend's apartment? If she's standing at an ATM, why would the robber only take $60? Why would the attacker be looking at bumper stickers, and how would he know that the car featuring the GOP sticker was hers? Why would he carve a 'B' on her face (presumably for 'Barack') instead of an 'O?' Isn't an 'O' easier to carve than a 'B?' Wouldn't a 'B' be just about the toughest letter to carve in the whole damned alphabet? Why did he carve it backwards? Was he behind her, dragging her to the nearest storefront mirror to do his carving, and didn't realize the letter wasn't facing the right way (see, if he had carved an 'O,' he could have avoided the whole backwards letter thing). Do most committed ATM robbers/political assailants only carry dull knives? And if the attacker, supposedly an Obama supporter, really wanted to hurt the McCain fan, couldn't he have just waited a couple of months until his candidate's tax policies went into effect, and dimwitted Ashley went back to that ATM only to find that all her money had already been siphoned off to the federal government?

Obviously, the story was exposed as a complete and total fraud. But who would be STUPID enough to think that this whole charade would fly, even for a minute? Who could possibly be that monumentally IDIOTIC?

As they say, every picture tells a story:


With a sweatshirt like that, you don't even need a caption. Oh, I get it.

On a related note, the Tide rolls in Knox-Vegas. Was that the Great Pumpkin's last game in the rivalry? (Note: 5XL sweatervest not included in crime fabrication kit).

I'll take potpourri for $3,300, Alex

Settle in for a long (and interesting!) collection of news, miscellany and tidbits, y'all. My Google notebook floweth over.

In addition to starring in an upcoming Dick Wolf show, Starbuck will guest on Law & Order.

I'm sure you've seen the teaser for the next season of Lost. Here are the titles for the first 6 eps!

I don't have a dog in the hunt in the World Series, but this could almost make me pull for the Phils.

How is the universe going to end? (I thought it may have happened when Arrested Development got cancelled, during the first half of the Bama game, or when my house got destroyed by itinerant, trollopy gypsies, but here are some alternate theories).

5 best Atari 2600 games! Man, I loved the faux wood paneled console, and a controller with just a joystick and a button.

The 25 cheesiest hits of the 70s. Awesome.

Stewie Mandel has something nice to say about Dawgs fans.

Hot new SMG photoshoot. Yowza.

Speaking of which, here's a "where are they now" feature about the cast of Buffy.

Effete party boys weep. Zima is no more.

Funny fake Twitter feeds.

If you don't like the hockey team, unleash the dildos!

I assume these are very popular in Columbus, GA.

When you're a former stripper and drug addict, of course Simon Cowell is to blame. (Paula just said "you really took that 8-ball and made it yours, and wrapped it in a rainbow of your special you-ness.")

A completely geeky BSG home computer.

Perhaps someone didn't get this early learnin' in the art of making checklists.

This makes me want to ride a bus. Or donate money to a bus advertising campaign.

Christina Hendricks in black. Nice. Speaking of space vixens, I was watching a random episode of Numb3rs this week, and caught the gorgeous Morena Baccarin (now with cute as pie short hair) in a guest starring role. As a hooker. (though one without her own shuttle or mysterious syringe). In a Whedonverse connection, DB Woodside (Robin Wood) was also in the ep.

Mad Men, in delightful illustrations. (Season finale tomorrow!) And play Mad Men Jeopardy!

A must see: "Truthful TV Title Cards." Funny.

Top 10 obscure Google tricks. How many did you know? (I knew 2).

Okay, now that the CrackBerry has FINALLY announced a release date for my beloved Bold, they tease us with an upcoming model that has a full qwerty keyboard AND a touchscreen. Dammit.

"Global warming?" Still crap.

Sheriff Carter gets a new love interest on Eureka, and it's Mindy O'Dell!

I've turned several friends on to the fantastic political website, 538, which blends statistical baseball analytical principles with polling and electoral college wonkery. Here's a great profile of the man behind it all, Nate Silver.

20 most awesome sci-fi theme songs.

Who is playing for the massive government bailout? Probably not most taxpayers. On a related note, I think the founding fathers had it right: "Madison and others therefore made it a "first object of government" to protect personal property from unjust confiscation." That "unjust confiscation" also includes the imperial federal government, too, asshats. Who wants to dump tea in a harbor with me?

The 10 least intimidating college mascots. Aaaaah! A duck! With no pants! And no one knows what the fuck a "hokie" is. At least the tree gets drunk on a regular basis. Of course, there's always college's BEST mascot as a counterbalance.

A sci-fi version of the Odyssey. When I was a kid, and writing and illustrating my own comic books, I did the exact same thing, in graphic novel format. I should have copyrighted that shit.

The GOP has to get its ass kicked, in order to return to a party of reason. Hopefully, the coming electoral debacle will spur the party of low taxes and limited government to return to its roots, and ditch the neocons and theocrats.

First, kill Mohinder

I was initially on the Heroes bandwagon. It was nice to see someone bring the superhero mythos to the small screen. Sure, it had been done before, with known characters (Adam West's camp-fest Batman) and those created for the tube (such as poofy-haired theme song, Greatest American Hero). You could even argue that Buffy and Angel were sideways takes on the superhero, wrapped in the supernatural. But this was a genre show that put its geek aspirations right in the damned title, and sought to create an original lineup of "heroes," even if the superpowers and storylines were a bit familiar (if charitable) or derivative (if not so charitable).

The first season mostly delivered, with a couple of slices of top shelf television ("String Theory" and "Company Man"), before fizzling out with one of the most disappointing season finales I can remember. The less said about the strike-shortened terrible second season, the better (though anytime Kristen Bell is on my TV, it's is a good thing).

So now we find ourselves in the midst of the third season. Ratings are down considerably and the show has lost some of its cultural cache and buzz. Granted, the show has improved over last season (not a very high bar to jump), but it's still not on solid footing creatively. Yeah, I still watch, but Heroes has gone from "must watch live" to "I'll watch it later Monday night after catching up on Sarah Connor and Chuck" to "oh, that's in the Now Playing list, I guess I'll watch it." EW just did a cover story on the show, and how to fix it. I agree with many of their findings and recommendations. Here's my take:

Thin the herd.
I appreciate the attempts of S3 to quicken the pace and keep things moving. However, there are just too many new and old characters to care about. Marked for death in the TNRLM reaper's ledger: Mohinder. I know, the ladies like him because he's hot. Hell, I have my own set of Heroes eye-candy, too (Claire, Claire's real mom, Elle, and Daphne, to name a few). But the ponderous voice overs, Cronenberg Fly rip-off plot and shallow acting doesn't really add that much. And Maya? Dear god. Not only is that one of the lamest superpowers ever (my eyes get black and kill everyone!), but no one's going to be polishing an Emmy for that performance. Niki/Jessica/Whatever. I didn't care about the stripper, and I don't care about the mistress of ice cubes political handler. Peter. First, he was wimpy and confused. Then, he was waaaaay too powerful. Then, he was trapped in a caricature of an Irish mob movie. Finally, he's been de-powered, but the fact remains that I loathed him on Gilmore Girls, and I loathe him now. Buh-bye. Parkman. I actually like Greg Grunberg, and find him a talented actor, but his plot has gone nowhere. Why doesn't he read minds with everyone he comes in contact with?

Stop with the time travel.
Yeah, it's a cool power. Yeah, it can fuel plot twists. But it's just too damned much. And worst of all, they don't seem to have an internal logic about how it works. Lost, for example, has "time travel" plotlines, but they've worked out a logic and methodology that actually makes sense, is easily understandable, and they stick to it. With Heroes, sometimes it works. Sometimes, it doesn't. They throw out "butterfly effect" explanations, but abandon them when it's inconvenient. It's a limitless power, but too many people have/had it and it's inconsistently applied. Just stop.

Stop using the world "abilities."
If this was a drinking game, we'd all have engorged livers.

Abandon the "formula to give everyone powers" plot.
The 4400 already did this, and did this better.

Make death count.
How many people have died and come back? Hell, I've lost count. Virtually every genre show has had the "shocking death" and return (including top tier programs like Buffy and Angel) but it reaches ludicrous levels with Heroes. Just off the top of my head, we've seen Sylar, Claire, HRG, Ando, Adam, Linderman, Nathan, Niki, Peter and others all "die," only to come back in one form or another. If everyone does it, it loses its power to shock, move and surprise.

Put the best actors front and center.
Heroes has a telegenic and appealing cast, but they're not all blessed with the same acting talent. Give the meaty stuff to the actors who can pull it off: Adrian Pasdar, Robert Forster, Jack Coleman, Kristen Bell, Zachary Quinto, Christine Rose, Malcolm McDowell.

Stop making the characters stupid to service stupid plot points.
Nathan, the conniving politico, finds god because he survives an assassination attempt and sees Linderman? In a world he knows is populated by people with awesome superpowers? Really? Hiro is told expressly not to open the safe, and then he does, only to lose a game-changing formula? And can't go back in time 5 minutes to NOT open the safe? Peter does....well....Peter does just about anything that Peter does. STUPID. Shows like Buffy and Lost have characters operating in a world with extraordinary circumstances, unnatural powers and twisty plot machinations, but they all behave in a way that is true to the characters.

Save the logic, save the show!

I'm still watching, but unless some of the nonsense stops, and stops soon, I probably won't be for much longer. I could go on, but that's my short list. What's yours?

Desktop Drive In

A few early morning videos for your viewing pleasure:

The first Lost S5 promo has arrived!

100 Seinfeld quotes.

Bill Maher suggests (rightfully) that Sherri Sheppard, should visit Bellevue.

Deleted scenes from BSG season 4.

How does Dwight Schrute stand up to geek torture?

Marcia Brady chats about anal sex.

Behind the scenes of the girl-on-girl terminator fight from Monday's Sarah Connor. (Limited special effects -- the gal was a contortionist!)

New Watchmen footage (interspersed with some we've seen before) from the recent Scream Awards.

When geek worlds collide

Don't forget to tune into tonight's Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, where Stephanie Jacobsen -- last seen as Kendra Shaw on the awesome Battlestar Galactica movie Razor -- checks in for an appearance as a woman with a past who becomes involved with Derek Reese.

In other great T:TSSC news, the show was just picked up for the full "back nine," giving us a full season order of 22 eps.

Mad tidbits

Anyone else watch last Sunday's Mad Men and wonder "what the fuck is Don Draper doing?" Yeah, me too. But it was entertaining and thought-provoking nonetheless. And who was he calling as "Dick Whitman?"

Remember that gorgeous cover shot of Christina Hendricks I linked to yesterday? The whole story is now up here. Mostly about fashion and her va-va-voom figure, with several nice pics. (And I always thought Crown Royal was the best looking thing in purple). I missed her during her early guest shots on John Wells shows (didn't really watch any of those), but first took notice after her fantastic turns as "Yo-Saf-Bridge" on Firefly. As one of the commenters put it:

Fans of "Firefly" have known about Christina for years. It's great to see her get the recognition and roles she deserves, not to mention an appreciation of her very abundant charms!

I'll be in my bunk.

I'll be in my bunk, indeed.

Also, great news: Mad Men has (rightfully) earned a third season.

I'll take potpourri for $3,200, Alex

The shroud of secrecy surrounding the new Trek movie has been lifted. Check out some awesome new pics from JJ Abrams franchise reboot here. The cast looks great.

"Big Stars in Horror Movies" quiz. I got 7 right. You?

Legendary artist Frank Frazetta did some art for the original Battlestar Galactica. Check it out.

Time lapse camera records what cats do when you're sleeping. Yep, that's about right.

Stewart Mandel's latest mailbag takes a few shots (about one a page) at "whiney (sic) UGA fans." Does only the worst element of the Dawgs fanbase email him, or does he have a point?

Bailouts and nouveau socialism are circling. Time to go "John Galt?"

Great cover shot of Christina Hendricks. Or, as they call her, the "SILF."

Childhood fave V is coming back in a new form. How will it be handled? More Knight Rider, or more BSG?

Good news. Burn Notice and Psych get picked up for another season.

Dawgs vs. Vols: The Weekend Travelogue and Gameday Experience, Vol. IV

After last week's Tolstoy-like screed, I think I'll keep it short and sweet this week. Bottom line, nothing of bloggy note really happened.

As for the tailgate and travelogue:

• There were no harbingers of the apocalypse or bad omens.
• I had the flu all week, and felt like crap for most of the weekend. And probably a little still today.
  
• There were no unexpected guest stars, nor an incident of "The Whitney Factor." (though we did agree on some of the particulars - it has to be an extended, in-person sighting, not just attendance without an up close encounter).
• The plans and trains and automobiles arrived on time.
• Everyone remembered their tickets.
• No pedestrians were run down.
• All the electronics performed as expected.
• There was an amusing comments about "lap sitting," but it would take too long to explain, and dammit, I'm tired.
• Don't buy liquor at Firehouse package store on Broad street on gameday. WILDLY overpriced.

As for the game itself:

• We won.
• I still hate the Vols and all their baby-eating-carrots-shitting-in-a-diaper-orange.
• Phat Phil is probably not long for this world.
• The score doesn't accurately reflect the total control we had of this game, and the whoop ass we laid on the visitors from Knox Vegas. Realistically, there probably should have been another 10 - 14 points added to the scoreboard. Sadly, with a few exceptions (Aloha!), it's characteristic of the CMR era to play to the level of the opponent and win, but not napalm the scoreboard. I guess we can be grateful for talented kickers.
• Unless he's just bone-tired from playing corner leading into a punt, I think Prince should be returning punts.
• MoMass is a man.
• Despite the picks, 7 had a hell of game. (Though those picks did contribute mightily to the lackluster total on the scoreboard).
• After the face plant at Neyland last year, a win is a win.
• 1 net yard rushing? That's damned impressive.
• That was a terrible call on the defensive holding in the red zone. "Repeat third down" my ass.
  
• Another bad day to be ranked in the top 5.
• Vandy and LSU look less daunting than before (but still a challenge, don't get me wrong), and of course the big circle on the calendar is for the Cocktail Party. And yes, goddammit, the game is still called "The World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party." (Just like I referred to last weekend's clash as the "Red River Shootout." PC mavens go fuck yourself).

Another weekend, another trip, another game. Maybe I'll feel back to normal in a couple of days. Go Dawgs.

A reason to believe in the justice system

In which the Lord smites those who would make a craven image of his holiness, or put another God above Him.

A couple of years ago, one of the many TiVo / DirecTV receiver combos on my old house went on the fritz. I called the good folks at DirecTV, and they said they would FedEx me a new one right away as a replacement. They asked if I wanted an original TiVo model, or one of the "new, enhanced" DirecTV DVRs. Out of a perverse curiosity, I asked them to send me one of "theirs." I hooked it up a day later, and I was aghast at how user-unfriendly and horrible it was. Everything was uncomfortable, barely functional and decidedly inferior. (One of my favorite things was watching two programs at once, utilizing the dual tuners, and pausing one to switch to the other for a while, then pausing that, then switching back to the first one. While you could watch one and record one on the DirecTV DVR, you couldn't perform the viewing described above, let alone just by hitting one button to go back and forth).

I promptly boxed it up shipped it right back for a TiVo branded model, and have never looked back. In fact, I think (other than the whole moving thing) the main reason I haven't yet migrated to HD is that there wasn't a DirecTV HD receiver with TiVo. And I couldn't draw breath without my beloved TiVo. Fortunately, DirecTV and TiVo have patched up their differences and are now blissfully in cahoots again, so when I get into my next home, that will be one of the first things on the shopping list.

Anyhoo, I'm happy that TiVo is getting the rightful and legal credit for their life-altering ingenuity.

Do your civic duty and vote

What president do you want in a crisis? Perhaps it depends on whether or not you face one of the following scenarios:

• A highjacked Air Force One
• Alien invasion of the planet Earth
• Giant asteroid on a collision course with Earth
• Nation on the brink of nuclear hysteria during the Cold War
  
• Possible extinction of the human race by malevolent toasters
• Martian invaders bent on world domination

We don't need a insomnia-curing debate to determine this. Go here and pull the lever for your favorite president.

I'll take potpourri for $3,100, Alex

Everyone else enjoying How I Met Your Mother this year? I know I am. And it makes a nice pairing with the increasingly funny and endearing Big Bang Theory. Here's a fun interview at TWOP with HIMYM creator Craig Thomas. As if you need other reasons to like him and the show, he's a huge fan of Veronica Mars, Buffy and Angel. (great taste, that one). And he hated Connor. (Though Season 5 Connor, along with the weaselly Pete Campbell on Mad Men, have made me almost forget the whole Season 4 thing).

A while back, I blogged about "go to bed shows." Meaning, shows that I let rack up on the bedroom TiVo and watch when I go to sleep. They typically aren't that serialized and are usually procedurals. For a while, I would watch shows like Numb3rs, Crossing Jordan or CSI:Miami (before that got too inhumanly stupid and hammy to even tolerate for a laugh). Lately, I've added NCIS to the rotation, which is an entertaining procedural, and sampled Supernatural, which my TiVo helpfully suggested for me. In fact, I think I may move Supernatural to the main TiVo it's so good. I don't know why I never got into this program when it first aired (on the CW? On at the same time as other shows?) but it's really damned good. It features lots of folks behind the scenes that were associated with The X-Files, and has a laugh out loud sense of humor in addition to a compelling mythology and solid scares.

The 10 Worst spinoffs ever. (I actually liked The Lone Gunmen, though).

There WILL be a Wonderfalls crossover with Pushing Daisies this year. Awesome.

Several online writers have seen some of Watchmen. Sounds mind-blowing.

10th anniversary DVD for SportsNight. An underrated gem.

The censored Chuck Lorre vanity card from Monday's Big Bang Theory. Censors are morons.

New "blood" (including Admiral Cain and Zack from Gilmores!) on True Blood, which is getting better every week. The dimwitted brother makes me laugh in spite of myself, and I actually liked Tara last week, so it must be doing something right.

Interesting directorial rumors. Will Thor take on a Shakespearean quality?

Deadspin ladies discuss the Idaho cheerleading outfit controversy. One of the gals offers this insight about the cheerleaders and coeds of the SEC, which has long been a mystery:

That said, I have spent many football-watching afternoons deconstructing the hotness of SEC cheerleaders. (Consensus seems to hold that 'Bama and Ole Miss have the prettiest girls on the sidelines. We can never figure out why Georgia doesn't, when Athens is full of the most gorgeous coeds you've ever seen).

Whiniest coaches in the NCAA. Lots of SEC coaches in there.

Thought-provoking stats comparing the Jorts Jesus and Stafford.

What does college football have to do with scarecrows? Check this out. UGA appears to be playing another team, who all wear the number 0. Funny.

Video of halftime interviews gone wrong. Anyone else think that last one with Joe Kines sounds like Boomhauer?

Bill Maher and chatty serpents. And why again, don't cults pay taxes?

Michael Muhney, who was the caustic Sheriff Lamb on Veronica Mars, seems like an awesome, and gracious, dude. Here he talks about not getting cast as Seely Booth's brother on Bones, nor as Paul Ballard on Dollhouse (with lots of nice things, of course, to say about Joss and the guy that got the role, Tahmoh Penikett. Speaking of which, if you're a Helo fan, check out this interview with Tahmoh conducted by the folks at Galactica Quorum at DragonCon. Another down to earth, appreciative and insightful dude).

If I was a cop, I'd give this guy a pass for driving erratically, simply for having good taste.

Do you have manly skills?

According to Popular Mechanics, here are the 100 skills every man should know.

I scored myself at 45. Does that make me an average Joe, or a panty-wearing Nancy boy?

Some things I think I know how to do, but have never actually done (such as perform the Heimlich, or escape a sinking car). Some things I have done, but don't want to do any more (like use charcoal in a grill, when I can twist a knob and press a button; or change a tire when I can just call AAA). Others are kind of sketchy. I've been near tornadoes when I was a kid, and experienced my fair share of lightning on a golf course (and even begged for it to hit me once in college, but that's a long story). I didn't give myself a point for surviving floods, although logically, what do you do except go for higher ground, and look for floaty stuff?

I think they were missing a few, too. What about mixing a perfect martini or cocktail? Tie a real bow tie? Grill a steak? Handle a skid or hydroplane when driving? Give a speech? Hook up a home theatre?

So, what did you score? And what's missing? And Quien es mas macho?? Fernando Lamas o Ricardo Montalban?

Perfect placesettings, kinky sex, rubbin' is racin' and John Madden

For a nominal fee, I just upgraded my XM radio package. We're seeing the first benefits of the XM-Sirius merger, and I was only too happy to add the "Best of Sirius" to my current lineup. Included:

• Howard Stern - eh. Never cared much for Howard. But it's there if I'm in the mood.
• NFL - NFL talk, plus play-by-play for every single game. In a word: AWESOME. Now, with NFL Sunday Ticket and the XM radio, I can always check in on how my fantasy team is taking it in the ass.
• Speaking of which, there's also Playboy Radio. For those who don't drive a 5-speed, I guess.
• Marta Stewart - Just in case I was ever driving down the highway and needed to know how to make a centerpiece out of a gourd and dried flowers.
• NASCAR - Yep, I'm a closet good ole' boy.

TV Quickies

Random thoughts on the Fall TV Season:

Newly minted Emmy Winning Best Drama Mad Men returned Sunday night with a fantastic episode. I started writing a long treatise on the sad, urine-stained career arc of Freddy Rumson, the meaning of a “name,” Roger Sterling’s end of the episode surprise and Betty Draper’s desperate housewife days, but realized that a couple of professional critics had already done the job quite well. Check out some thoughtful examinations of “Six Month Leave” here and here.

It’s sad that the ratings for Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles are cratering. I think this season has been even better than the last, and Monday’s eppy with a look at Cameron’s story was fascinating, and very well acted by Summer Glau. Rumors addressed here.

Dexter returned Sunday night, and Jimmy Smits will be a welcome addition to the cast. All the elements that make this show a must-watch are there, though I hope the writers don’t feel compelled to make Dex’s latest victim a total scumbag in order to give our serial killer an easy, moral “out.” If the Sopranos and Mad Men and Deadwood have shown us anything, it’s that intelligent audiences will stick with a compelling character that operates outside the boundaries of traditional morality. One major complaint, though. The end of episode reveal introduced something that is typically a “show killer” for me. Why? Can’t even a show about a serial killer stay away from this? Gah.

Heroes season 3 is still an incomprehensible mess, plot-wise. (Examples: if future Peter can travel in time, why shoot Nathan? Why not just tell him what happens if he makes his reveal last year? Or transport him someplace else, away from the media? And if you have mastery over time, why let any of this happen in the first place? Same with Hiro. Why not go back BEFORE he let “the formula” get out of the safe?). Still, for the time being I’ll keep watching, if only because I find some of the characters and performances (HRG, Daphne, Sylar, Hiro, Nathan, Elle, Angela, Claire’s mom) entertaining. At least they’ve picked up the pace of the stupidity this year. Oh, and check out Jack Coleman’s (HRG) blog on TWOP. Much better than the show.

And here’s a funny take on how to grade Heroes episodes on a curve.

Anyone else digging Fringe? I really like it, and think the interplay between the three leads is amusing. And any chance for John Noble's character to talk about cocaine, LSD, root beer floats and cows is fine with me.

Still on board with the quirky detective on House.