Readin', Ritin' and Rithmatic? Fuck dat shit.

It seems that the proverbial "3 Rs" are taking a backseat to the Cocktail Party in the Classic City.

Call it a case of the Red and Black flu.

Tired of struggling to find enough teachers to staff its classrooms on the Friday before the annual Georgia-Florida football game, the Clarke County (Ga.) School District -- which includes Athens, home of the University of Georgia -- decided to cancel school altogether.

According to area media reports, 137 teachers last year called in sick the day before the big game, and the district was able to find only 113 substitutes

Priorities, people, priorities. That's your government indoctrination working for you.

If you follow the link to the story at the WWL, you can see a video with Mel Kiper and Todd McShay debating the merits of the game. While they both pick the Jorts to win (asshats), you can also watch the helmet-haired one bitchslap his usurper when it comes to one Matthew Stafford. (And damn, I can't keep it straight anymore. Is 7 "overrated" or "underrated?" Early on, it was all "great arm, but what's he done?" that made you think of Crash Davis evaluating Nuke LaLoosh. Recently, it's been "yeah, Knowshon is awesome, but the Dawgs' fortunes ride on the right arm of Stafford" and "watch him check into the right plays" and "finally, someone can catch a fucking ball." {AJ Green is The Truth, y'all.} I will say this: if on the field success comes down to only the ability to perform circumcisions, get photographed with melon-breasted coeds or blather shamelessly about the supernatural, we're in trouble).