Side by Side

Remember my geekgasmic post about character photos from the new Watchmen movie being revealed? Well, some enterprising soul (Cinema Blend) has posted those images, along with side by side illustrations from the graphic novel.

See the comparison for yourself, Watchmen fans, and do the dance of joy.

All the world is a stage!

And no, that's not because I'm planning a cultural outing. (But I am). Really, it's because of this fascinating article from USA Today on smoking in Minnesota.

For those of you too lazy to click, here it is in a nutshell: Minnesota, like many overzealous and meddlesome "nanny state" governments, has acted against a free market economy and restricted the rights of businesses to determine their own smoking policies. A lawyer suggested a loophole in the law, that allows smoking by performers in a theatrical production. Several bars have gotten around the odious smoking ban by declaring "theatre nights," where all bar patrons are deemed "actors" participating in an unscripted play taking place in an evening long scene at the bar.

First, that's fucking brilliant.

Second, of course, the guv'ment is predictably coming down on these enterprising patriots and threatening to bury them under legal fees and the heavy handed machinations of Big Brother.

This is just as stupid -- if not MORESO -- than the attempts to censor television, radio and other forms of communications because someone might be offended. The Taliban is not capturing innocent citizens from the streets of Minny, throwing a bag over their head and dropping them into a smoky bar, where they are chained to a stool and forced to shotgun second hand toxins from the wrinkled mouth of a chain-smoking walleye fisherman. Nope, potential bar patrons know that there is smoking going on inside the establishment, and -- GASP! -- have a choice on whether or not to enter. This is not even like the unnerving broadcasting restrictions I referenced previously, where an impressionable child -- Horrors! Think of the children! -- might use a remote control to stumble across a bad word or see a boobie. (of course, parents could use any of the technological restrictions available to them, give their kids a book, or you know, take responsibility for their mindless copulating and actually parent). Six year olds don't steal the family car, drive down to the Old Clover Inn and convince the bartender that they are 21 years old and quickly die of cancer because they spent thirty minutes playing pinball next to a Nordic fur trader enjoying a Marlboro. No sir, adults, with their faculties presumably intact, can decide whether or not to enter an establishment that allows smoking. And the free market economy, or god help us, what's left of it, could develop bars that cater to the smoking demographic and bars that cater to those that don't get how fucking sweet whiskey is with a sidecar of nicotine.

It's called CHOICE, y'all.

I wish this loophole existed across the US. I would get my SAG card, and walk around smoking my fucking brains out, screaming "all the world is a stage!"

Who will watch the watchmen? Well, we can now.

If you don't know what Watchmen is, you owe it to yourself to get educated. You might turn your nose up at the fact that Watchmen is a "comic." A graphic novel. By the legendary Alan Moore, with art by Dave Gibbons. But just like if you say "movie," that term can represent Citizen Kane, or something by Tyler Perry. Watchmen is not just a graphic novel, but truly, one of the most important, entertaining and intellectually stimulating pieces of art crafted in the last 50 years. Don't believe me? How about Time Magazine naming Watchmen on of the "the 100 best English-language novels from 1923 to the present." Not 100 best comics. Not 100 best graphic novels. One of the 100 best novels.

You can read some more about it here at wikipedia (but don't read about the plot if you intend to read the graphic novel. Which, of course, you should).

Director Zack Snyder is doing a film adaptation of Watchmen that will be out about this time next year, and he's doing it in the same fashion as he did last year's 300. (Which I finally saw this weekend. Visually, it was stunning. But it was rather limited on plot, as was the source material. Still, I feel comfortable with Snyder handling Watchmen, though I would have much preferred to see it adapted into a mini-series on HBO or Showtime, where the complex plot and full flavor of the story and characters could have been explored over 10 - 12 hours, vs 2 or 3).

Today, we get our first look at some of the primary characters from Watchmen, all decked out in their superhero togs. Check it out at the official blog of the move, One Year to Midnight.

Holy Shit. This looks fan-fucking-tastic.

Not that there's anything wrong with that. Musically.

Skimming across the interwebs today, I found this article about the "Gayest Songs of All Time." (h/t: Dlisted).

The top 20:

20. Dolly Parton "9 to 5"
19. Coming Out Crew "Free, Gay And Happy"
18. Village People "In The Navy"
17. Frankie Goes To Hollywood "Relax"
16. Village People "Macho Man"
15. Judy Garland "Over The Rainbow"
14. Bronski Beat "Smalltown Boy"
13. Diana Ross "I'm Coming Out"
12. Cher "Believe"
11. Gloria Gaynor "I Am What I Am"
10. Alicia Bridges "I Love The Nightlife"
9. Madonna "Vogue"
8. Olivia Netwon-John "Xanadu"
7. Kylie Minogue "Better The Devil You Know"
6. Pet Shop Boys "Go West"
5. Kylie Minogue "Your Disco Needs You"
4. The Weathergirls "It's Raining Men"
3. Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"
2. Village People "YMCA"
1. ABBA "Dancing Queen"

Personal Statistical Update:

Categorized by Songs I Know; Songs I Like; Songs I Had at some point in time (on vinyl, cassette, 8-track -- fuck I'm old -- and CD) and Songs I currently have on my iPod.

	Know	Like	Had	iPod
20. Dolly Parton "9 to 5"	1	1	1	0
19. Coming Out Crew "Free, Gay And Happy"	0	0	0	0
18. Village People "In The Navy"	1	1	1	1
17. Frankie Goes To Hollywood "Relax"	1	1	1	1
16. Village People "Macho Man"	1	1	1	1
15. Judy Garland "Over The Rainbow"	1	1	0	0
14. Bronski Beat "Smalltown Boy"	1	1	1	0
13. Diana Ross "I'm Coming Out"	1	1	1	0
12. Cher "Believe"	1	0	0	0
11. Gloria Gaynor "I Am What I Am"	0	0	0	0
10. Alicia Bridges "I Love The Nightlife"	1	1	1	1
9. Madonna "Vogue"	1	1	1	1
8. Olivia Netwon-John "Xanadu"	1	1	1	0
7. Kylie Minogue "Better The Devil You Know"	0	0	0	0
6. Pet Shop Boys "Go West"	1	1	0	0
5. Kylie Minogue "Your Disco Needs You"	0	0	0	0
4. The Weathergirls "It's Raining Men"	1	1	1	1
3. Gloria Gaynor "I Will Survive"	1	1	1	1
2. Village People "YMCA"	1	1	1	1
1. ABBA "Dancing Queen"	1	1	1	1
	80%	75%	65%	45%

I'm not sure which of those statistics is the most alarming. Or what it says about my sexuality, or worse yet, my taste in music. But ya like what ya like, ya know? I think I need to get laid. Maybe tomorrow. Hai!

So to cleanse the flouncy and cheesetastic palate, here's a musical sorbet of one of Led Zeppelin's hardest rocking tunes (not a great video by any means, but it made me feel better):

Should I watch it?

My TiVo is littered with potential and failure.

Sometimes, I'll set up a season pass for a show that seems promising, never get around to watching a single episode, and then delete all the eps once the show is canceled or implodes critically. Last year, Smith and The Nine were examples of these types of shows. However, there are also shows that received at least a modicum of acclaim that for some reason, I just never found time for. Brotherhood and The Riches are examples of this category.

Currently, I have two shows racking up TiVo storage hours that I haven't yet viewed. First, there's AMC's Breaking Bad. I set up the season pass based mainly on the fact that I loved AMC's first dramatic offering, the terrific Mad Men, and it promised a darker anti-hero, which is always appealing. Yet I haven't heard much buzz about the show, and the premise does seem very similar to Weeds (whose second season I haven't yet seen -- just like my beloved Dexter -- thanks to the great Comcast debacle of 2007). Second, there's Eli Stone. It seemed like an interesting enough premise, and I could watch SpyDaddy in just about anything. But after an hour of having my brain warped, my reality fucked and taking pages of notes watching Lost on Thursday nights, I'm just spent and forget that Eli Stone ever aired.

So what say you, TNRLM readers? Are these shows worth my time?

What the frak is going on?!

Another of those awesome "_________show in 8 minutes" things. This is a wonderful recap of Battlestar Galactica to date:



So say we all.

We're gonna party like it's 1996!

I think I'll just type the phrase "Lost rocked the fucking house this week, again!" somewhere, and cut and past it every single week instead of just typing it over and over. Because really, Thursday's episode, "The Constant," was Lost at the top of its game. Again. This one had everything. Great performances, more mysteries, some answers, humor and even some tear welling (if I was that kind of sentimental) moments from Des and Penny.

I had a wonderful dinner Thursday evening that involved several cocktails and an abundance of red wine. So maybe it was just the grapes talking, but I kept writing down notes as I was watching that mainly consisted of "fuk yeah!" "awsum" "best this seson" and "hole shit." (Yes, my spelling and handwriting is awful after a bottle of wine).

I jotted down a lot of quotes, too, because not only was this ep wonderfully acted, it was tightly and entertainingly well written. In a nutshell: During the copter flight to the freighter, Des becomes "unstuck in time" between the present (x-mas 2004) and the past (1996, while he's serving in the Scottish army). Fortunately, we're spared a lot of grandfather paradox questions because of the nature of time travel here, where it is just your "consciousness" that moves back and forth across time. Past Des "remembers" things happening to the future Des, though the future/present Des forgets what happened in the interim period between 1996 and 2004. That is, until he latches on to a "constant" at the suggestion of past Faraday, whom he looks up at 1996 Oxford at the suggestion of 2004 Faraday, who oddly doesn't seem to have much recall of his own of meeting 1996 Des. That sounds confusing, but damned if it didn't play well. Anyhoo, Faraday is experimenting with time travel in 1996, and 2004 Faraday's suggestions of frequency and hertz (not the rental car, though I would definitely switch from Avis if they included a time travel option along with satellite radio and a GPS) via time tripping Des allows Daniel a breakthrough in the technology that puts a rat through time. Of course, the rat's brain becomes overloaded and she dies eventually, as does Minkowski, who was also suffering the effects of time travel. Guess they didn't have a "constant," which is something that can emotionally "anchor" you in each time. Desmond's is, of course, Penny.

Quotes, observations and thoughts:

• "Why are you flying directly into the thunderhead?"
• "I never had a dream that was so vivid!"
• "Who are you? How do you know my name?"
• Is there some equation that explains the time actually spent in the past by a future self, and the amount of time the future self is unconscious? I don't think it's necessarily 1 to 1. I also noted at one point, that "75 minutes = 5 minutes."
  
• By the way, how fucking awesome was that new Iron Man trailer that aired during Lost Thursday? Can't wait for this flick.
• Minkowski: "It's happening to you, too, isn't it?" (one of the drunken notes I scribbled at this point was "banging catwoman." It took me a few moments to realize I was referencing that the actor playing Minkowski was Fisher Stevens, widely known for the Short Circuit movies, who also dated Michelle Pfeiffer in the late 80s. You're a lucky man, George Minkowski).
• So it took the test rocket 31 minutes to get to the island, yet the copter left at dusk and landed in the middle of the day?
• "Side effects." No shit. Tell that to Eloise the rat.
• Voice communications and sat phones can work through the time distillation, apparently.
• The doc on the freighter was also the doctor in Angel's last season (Marc Vann), who gave Gunn the "legal upgrades."
• "This is where I do the things Oxford frowns upon." I'm sure Bill Clinton said the same thing during the late 60s.
• "So what do you put on your head?"
• "Uh..............yeah."
• "Why would I go to an island?"
• Sayid is really the modern day MacGyver, isn't he?
• Minkowski's last words: "I can't get back."
• "Looks like you guys have a friend on this boat." Surely this is Michael, right?
• "I know about the island. I spoke to your friend Charlie."
• "If anything goes wrong, Desmond Hume will be MY constant."
• So in 1996 Penny's father, Charles Widmore, was bidding on a diary from the first mate of the Black Rock. It was owned by someone named "Hanso" (of the mysterious Hanso Foundation) and supposedly never read until now. What do you think we'll find in this? And is Charles more connected to the shenanigans on the island than we know?
• Why was Minkowski ordered not to answer calls from Penny? How did she know how to call the boat in the first place?
• Though I didn't jot them all down, there were multiple instances of "the numbers" on this ep.
• If "The Constant" reminded fellow geeks of Star Trek: TNG's "All Good Things" series finale (where Picard becomes "unstuck in time"), you're not alone and it's not a coincidence. Check out this interview with Damon Lindelof at trekmovie.com.
• Does the fact that present Faraday doesn't remember past/present Des indicate that he is indeed suffering from some type of memory loss? Does this shed more light on the card game last week?

This week: "The Other Woman" featuring Juliet.

This week's Ledger

PLUS:

• A trip to the new dentist, which didn't feature too much scraping with the metal hook thingy. That sound rattling around in my head drives me fucking crazy.
  
• A good steak.
• Lost continues to rock the world.
• A double feature that included The Other Boleyn Girl and Death Proof. The former was good as a costume drama with an underplaying ScarJo and a bitchy, manipulative Queen Amidala (sadly, the accusations of incest in 16th century England weren't directed toward the sisters), though Henry VIII remained something of a cipher. The latter was a rollicking Tarantino thing with exceptional stunt driving, a slimy and entertaining Kurt Russell and an adorable Zoe Bell (who will be appearing soon on the freighter on Lost).
• Friday night cocktails.
• New windshield wipers. I didn't realize until I got new ones how ineffective and noisy the old ones were.
• The one little c-store who gives me a free Bic when I buy ciggies. It almost takes the sting out of being taxed enough to provoke a tea dumping in the harbor incident.
• This little beauty. In a perfect world, I'd have a connection/dock in each room of my surround sound wired house to access the iTunes. But here in the shitty cardboard box called "home," this works wonderfully in a pinch. Great reviews, good sound for what it is and a handy carrying case. Carrying cases really make a difference for the OCD enlightened.

MINUS:

• Going to get the 60,000 mile check on the vehicle and getting a huge bill (though this is known as the "big one" for drivers of Teutonic wheels). And not only that, but having them "recommend" another two grand worth of brand work.
• The dealership itself here. Back in the motherland, I was used to making an appointment at a specific time, pulling right up into the covered bay and having someone greet me immediately and get everything handled quickly. And if I chose to wait, I had a top shelf coffee maker, wi-fi and HD TV to keep me company in a luxurious atmosphere. Here, you get in a long line and wait until they call you, and even though they recently moved into a new facility, it still strikes me as more Goober's garage and less high-end dealership. Plus, they forgot to vacuum the car, which pisses me off, since I don't have a garage with a handy shop vac ready and waiting.

Welcome to the Dollhouse

More info coming out about Joss Whedon's eagerly awaited return to television, the Eliza Dushku vehicle Dollhouse.

First, Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain, most recently the showrunners on Women's Murder Club, and previously writers for Angel, have joined the writing staff of Dollhouse. That's good news.

Second, TV Guide's Mike Ausiello has obtained a character list for Dollhouse. His entertaining article not only lists the principal characters on the show, but also suggests "Buffyverse" and "Non-Buffyverse" actors to portray them. Check out the list and come back.

Okay, back here now? Good. Here are my comments and further suggestions (and I've expanded the "Buffyverse" to be the "Whedonverse," including some folks from Firefly/Serentiy, also.

Adelle Dewitt: I really like the suggestion of Juliet Landau. We certainly don't see her on TV enough.

Paul Ballard: I have no problem with Gunn. I also think his suggestion of Ben Browder is right on, though Crichton is a bit old for the "thirtysomething" description of the character. Keeping with the 'verse, what about Christian Kane? He was terrific as the conflicted Lindsay McDonald, and is closer to the character age.

Boyd Langton: Anthony Stewart Head would be just about perfect, but is the role too close to Giles? Skinner is also a great choice, but what about Alexis Denisof? He certainly knows how to create a vibrant friction with Eliza. Or hell, even James Marsters? He definitely spiced up Torchwood.

Topher Brink: Andrew is on target, and I don't know the other suggestion. If you want to go less "ambiguously gay" and totally nerdy, how about Jonathon Woodward, who pulled off the rare Whedonverse hat trick?

Sierra: Bianca Lawson? Really? As long as she doesn't try a Jamaican accent, mon. Personally, I'd prefer Morena Baccarin, Amy Acker or Katharine Towne, who played delightfully bitchy vamp Sunday in the Buffy ep "The Freshman."

Victor: What about Sean Maher?

Dr. Claire Sanders: No problems with Gina Torres, but Michelle Forbes rocks the known world. Great suggestion.

Okay, fellow Whedon geeks. Whaddaya think? Any other inspired choices?

What time is it?

Check out EW's always helpful and illuminating Lost preview.

Don't worry, as usual, it doesn't give any significant spoilers for tonight's ep, just wild ass theories and possible explanations.

Of note to me was this "blooper reel" from a Dharma video on "The Orchid," another station on the island. Evidently, this was out there for a while, and somehow I missed it. Maybe it was during the whole transition and moving period? Anyway, in case you're like me and haven't seen it, you can check it out by clicking below.



It features the enigmatic Dr. "Marvin Candle," who goes by other aliases, including Wickmund and Halowax (which both, probably not coincidentally, have candle references) and may or may not be missing an arm. There are obvious reasons not to let the bunnies near each other, but I don't think he's referring to their proclivity to breed like a Columbus stripper. The "same" bunny from different timelines or realities, perhaps?

Just 14 more hours. Give or take, if you're on the island.

In hindsight? Still throws it hard.

I was cleaning up some old files and notes this evening, and ran across this link that I had meant to post at the beginning of the 2007 college football season (note the August date on the byline). It's from ESPN/Scouts, Inc, and rates college QBs, prior to last season, in 8 different categories. You'll see a lot of familiar names in there (Brohm, McCoy, Daniel, Brennan, Woodson, White, Ryan, Booty) that stayed in the national headlines all year, and some that continue to be mentioned with the NFL draft coming up.

The reason I saved the article was because of category number seven:

7. VELOCITY
Best three examples:
1. Matt Stafford, Georgia (So.)
2. Anthony Morelli, Penn State (Sr.)
3. Curtis Painter, Purdue (Jr.)
Throws a tight spiral with excellent velocity. Gets great RPMs on the ball. Shows the ability to fit the ball into tight spots downfield. Can throw deep sideline routes and deep go routes with ease. Can drive the ball through wind. His deep ball does not sail. Is able to get zip on the ball even when throwing across his body and off his back foot.

During the course of many games last year, I recall babbling to my seat buddies that Stafford had the strongest arm I'd ever seen in person, at any level. For a while, Brett Favre held that honor (and still throws a pill, even in his advanced years) until I got to see Michael Vick flick his wrist on the dead run and launch a missle 50 yards on a rope (often over the head of a handsless receiver, and into double coverage, sadly). But UGA's #7, in the opinion of this humble correspondent, has a similar cannon hanging from his right shoulder. Keep in mind these rankings were before Stafford's sophomore year. I'm sure an off season of lifting kegs will only improve the pace on his fastball, and another year of maturity should equally enhance the improved touch he showed over the course of '07.

Additionally:

• Judgment/Mental Capacity: Brohm is listed as #1. Guess that doesn't factor in actually staying at Louisville for a dismal senior season, after his cocksucking coach abandoned him for a 13 game "commitment" to the Falcons.
  
• Colt Brennan at #3 on Durability. He missed some of the regular season, and was ground into a fine white and green paste in N'Awlins, before eventually leaving the field wondering how to get back to Stately Wayne Manor. #1 was Chad Henne, who missed three games.

More college football items:

Number actually getting knocked off the helmet in this cool picture.

More proof that the SEC rules: 281 SECers on NFL rosters. Next is the ACC with 259. That means that every NFL roster contains an average of 8.78 SEC players (decimals account for players from Tennessee), or 16.5% of every NFL roster is comprised of players from the SEC.

A couple of more thoughts about "Eggtown"

A reader posted something about Faraday's "card game" with Charlotte that I hadn't considered (check it out here). My take was that Faraday was having memory problems, and she was giving him a simple "Concentration" like exam to see if he could remember the three cards that she had just shown him. The memory problems could have been caused by an as of yet unrevealed malady or brain trauma, or even by (insert wacky theory) being "out of phase" with linear time, much in the way that our friend Desmond is. They did make a point of showing his odd reaction to the finding of the undersea wreckage of 815. It was also noted that in the "pop up video" version of that same episode, the mysterious woman in the background of this reaction shot was described as his "caretaker" and not necessarily as wife, girlfriend, roommate or fuck buddy. However, CoolSchool suggested that Faraday might be psychic, and the test was to gauge his ability to determine the cards without having seen them previously (a common psychic test. Just ask Dr. Peter Venkman). Thinking back on the scene in "Eggtown" I can't recall if any dialogue or visual cues indicated to us that Faraday knew the cards prior to his guesses, which I just naturally assumed. Good food for thought all the way around.

Speaking of the undersea wreckage of 815, I can't believe this didn't dawn on me immediately: the general public has to know that this wreckage WAS A FAKE. There are the survivors, the Oceanic 6, who all profess (and have now sworn under oath) that the plane crashed on an island. How can you reconcile their stories, and the fact that they survived, with the fact that there was a huge Oceanic 815 underwater? Was the island swallowed whole after the crash but before the rescue? Was it exposed that this plane was a fake? Something else?

God I love this show.

Don"t worry. They"ll never notice.

Last night, I was "watching" the XM music channels on DirecTV. And you know how when you press the "info" button, the song title and artist description appear on the screen? Well, there were typos. Not misspellings or songs/singers named incorrectly, like "Nuthin' but a G thang" by Buck Owens. Nope, just one little mistake that kept driving me crazy over the course of the evening.

There were no apostrophes ('), just quotation marks ("). So, "I'll Be" by Edwin McCain was "I"ll Be."

Is there actually a job, where you know the song coming up next, and type in the artist and title? Are you sitting in cube, headphones on, looking at a dimly lit monitor, keyboard in front of you, and doing nothing but typing song titles? And if there are 50 music channels, does this mean one typist per channel? Wouldn't this be the saddest cube farm ever? Interestingly enough, there were no other mistakes except for the apostrophe/quotation mark confusion. Could all 50 keyboards have malfunctioned at once? Or on a smoke break, did all the song title typists get together and declare that on Saturday, they were going to fuck with all the OCD types who read these things and intentionally sub the quote for the apostrophe?

Just wait until they see Barry White's "Can"t Get Enough of Your Love, Babe." That will be hysterical! DirecTV and XM will be flooded with calls!

It was probably the idea of typing pool ringleader and bon vivant Darlene, who enters the artist and song titles for the 80s channel. I've heard that she just went through a bad breakup with a proofreader at the The Beach News, the paper serving the market area where DirecTV HQ is in El Segundo, CA. Perhaps this was her way of getting back at him because he had intimacy issues and didn't like to cuddle after sex.

Rather than a multi-typist punctuation conspiracy, I've got to believe there was just a slight glitch in a computer system that feeds information into the display. But the other scenario is more interesting, don"t you think?

I'll take potpourri for $300 Alex

Random thoughts, links and observations:

Another awesome, geeky t-shirt.

Kirk and company do Jefferson Airplane.

Continuing the theme, here are some handy maps. This morning, I tried to find Romulus on my GPS, but it didn't show up. Piece of shit.

From one of the recent Democratic debates, Hillary claimed that McCain supported Bush's "wasteful tax cuts." (McCain inexplicably opposed them at the time, but backs them now). I'm not enamored with any of the candidates from either party right now, but this is the easiest and primary way NOT to get my vote. It is NEVER "wasteful" to let me keep more of the money that I earn. Fuck off, Hil.

And now, combining the previous two topics: did you realize that the race for The Leader of the Free World was forever altered by half-Borg space hottie Seven of Nine? Check this out.




Is mine bigger than yours? Check out I09's link to the accurate dimensions of virtually any spaceship you've ever thought about.

Excellent write up by Mo Ryan on HBO's outstanding and addicting In Treatment. I'm all caught up except for last night's ep, and I'm fascinated by every single session.

Wonder if Lois Lane ever experienced this.

If this is wrong, I don't wanna be right. I could order two of these right now.

Did you know that Penelope was almost Kate? I didn't. I love this chick.

The coolest thing from which you can steal another kid's Ho-Ho.

Darla looks hot with dark hair.

Vampire Dance Party!

This week's Ledger

PLUS:

• Very inexpensive haircuts. And no, I'm not talking about a Flowbee. And creative tipping.
• Bowling! After a lackluster opening in the 130 range and fueled by a Lebowski inspired white russian, round two was in the 180s.
• Southwest's new boarding policy. I had never flown the cattle car of the air until a few months ago, and was aghast at the lack of assigned seats. However, provided that you login and check in online at the 24 hour prior to flight mark, you can now easily find yourself an aisle seat. Once again, thank god for the crackberry.
• Watching TV shows on the iPod on the airplane. You'll see a few things I tried to find on iTunes below, but couldn't. However, I did manage to snag a Classic episode of the original Star Trek (Remastered!) to help me ignore all the noisy family travelers in the long, cylindrical tube of flying death.
• Text messaging.
  
• Aaron!
• Falcons win the coin toss. And have someone who might actually turn that pick into something.
• Big spikes in readership of this here blog. It seems lots of folks ventured over for the Super Bowl ad blogging, and decided to stick around. Thanks for wasting part of your day here at TNRLM.
  

MINUS:

• No AC/DC on iTunes. Nor any Def Leppard (what? I went to high school in the 80s)
• Picking out a show to watch on recent flights, I didn't find Pushing Daisies (I still want to catch up with this, dammit) or Dexter Season 2.
• Removing the guns from the Indiana Jones trailer. This is also the same director who turned guns into walkie-talkies in ET for the DVD, and the same producer who made Greedo shoot first. Not sure about the rumors that the Nazis in Schindler's List will be replaced by bunnies.
• Non-smoking hotels. Couldn't each floor have one of those little glass "petting zoo" type rooms like in the Atlanta airport, where the demented smokers could all huddle in the morning in their bathrobes drinking overpriced coffee, dying together? It's even more of a pain in the ass when it's snowing outside. Of course, I wasn't desperate enough to risk the $250 "cleaning fee" by taking a few furtive drags in the room's bathroom, like a few of my business associates did.
  
• Carrying things. I'm so fucking sick of "toting." I feel like an abused burro looking for the treasure of the Sierra Madre. In the house, I could pull into the garage, and load and unload the car (golf clubs, luggage, bags from the store, etc.) in just a few steps. Now living in apartmentland, I have to walk down a long hallway, down some stairs and out into the parking deck to reach the car. Also complicating matters is the fact that there is no curbside garbage pick up in an apartment, so you have to make that every few days trip down to the car with a big bag of refuse. So mornings, you're dragging your ass down a hallway, trying to balance a briefcase with a laptop, a jumbo coffee and a bag of beer cans and cat shit. Coming home, you're hauling a briefcase, dry cleaning, mail and if you stop at the store, 15 plastic bags looped around your digits until all the circulation stops in your hand after about 10 feet. I want a moving sidewalk. Or a personal valet.

"I just killed a chicken."

No, I'm not making dinner the old fashioned way. That was a line from Craphole Island's resident Colonel Kurtz, John Locke. As always, if you haven't watched last night's hour of Lost: SPOILERS AHOY!

So Lost couldn't possibly sustain the breakneck pace established over the first three eps of the new season, could it? I mean, that was one classic hour after another, and we were bound to have a letdown, right? Last night's offering, "Eggtown" (what does that mean, anyway? Reference to the chickens? Breakfast? Pregnancies?) wasn't a groaner, like Jack's tattoo story, or completely boring, like Kate and Sawyer spend 6 episodes eating fish biscuits. But although I find Evangeline Lilly cute and competent, and Kate's story mildly intriguing, she's not at the top of my list of favorite island dwellers (that group would include Locke, Sawyer, Hurley, Desmond, Juliet, Ben and even newbies Faraday and Miles. And hell, even Jack, as long as he's drunk and bitter Jack, not sanctimonious and know it all assplug Jack). So last night was a bit of a downshift, especially compared to the previous three, but I still enjoyed the hell out of it. (It probably helps that comparatively, just before "Eggtown" I watched Monday's Sarah Connor Chronicles, which was stupefyingly incoherent).

First, we have some "Whodats?" A few familiar faces showed up in "Eggtown." First, there was Kate's lawyer, played by Shawn Doyle, best known as Bill Henrickson's sad sack brother Joey on Big Love. Kate's mother was played again by Beth Broderick, who was Aunt Zelda on Sabrina the Teenage Witch (god help me that I know that). The prosecutor in Kate's case was Susan Gibney, whom I recognized as Dr. Leah Brahms on Star Trek: The Next Generation. (It was also rumored that she was up for the roles of both Captain Janeway and Seven of Nine on Star Trek: Voyager). Finally, there was also the voice of Zoe Bell, (stuntwoman and featured player in Tarantino's Death Proof) who played Regina, the unseen woman on the freighter who answered Charlotte's call when Minkowski wasn't available, and declared "I thought the helicopter was with you!"

Other questions and observations from "Eggtown:"

• Hurley got the line of the night: "You just totally Scooby-Doo'd me, didn't ya."
• "You are not using my son." DunDUNdun. I know there was a suspicion that Kate was pregnant, but I actually forgot about that. But can we assume that her "child" was the person referenced in last season's finale: "HE will be wondering where I am?" Or is it someone else? DunDUNdun!
• Those cool satellite phones? Not real at all.
• So "everyone" thinks the Marshal died in the crash. And not shot by Sawyer and euthanized by Jack.
• "Only eight of us survived the crash." So we know the Oceanic 6 are among the eight, but according to their cover story, who are the other two? And how is it purported that they met their end? Injuries sustained in the crash, or something more nefarious?
• And speaking of the Oceanic 6, we know this includes Jack, Kate, Sayid and Hurley. Does Kate's "son" count as a fifth? And if so, is the sixth the person in the coffin that no one came to see except Jack?
  
• Okay, I keep putting "son" and "child" in quotes, so instead of leaving the big honking reveal for the end, we'll just get right to it. In many ways, that was the awesome and redeeming plot point for the ep in my book. For much of the hour, we were teased by the appearance of Kate's "son." Kate had her "child rearing" moment with Claire at the laundry line, Sawyer and Kate discussed their sexual shenanigans and the possible repercussions, Joey Henrickson wanted her "son" to appear in court: all leading up to our final shot of Kate at home with the youngun. Maybe you, like me, saw the shock of blonde hair and instantly thought Sawyer's boys can swim. And of course, when the tyke called Kate "mommy" and then Kate called him "Aaron," my jaw hit the floor. Well played, Lost. Well played. (And the blonde hair made even more sense! Though I have a strange stirring for "Goth Claire" in the piercing and tattoo parlor, but hair dye shouldn't really transfer into the womb years later).
• "No, not anymore."
• How fucking sad is it for me that I thought Sawyer and Hurley's night of Xanadu, a good book and a big box of Dharma red wine sounds like a splendid time? Of course, I couldn't really suffer through Xanadu, ELO aside, without a big ass box of red wine.
• What is Miles up to? And why $3.2 million? And once again, Ken Leung's line readings are priceless: "it's extortion, if you wanna get technical."
• Why doesn't Jack want to see Aaron? Does he know that the kid is actually his nephew? Does it remind him of something unpleasant? With Claire? He couldn't wind up killing his own sister, could he? Or even worse, banging her? But with Jack and his god complex, it's probably that he couldn't save her, and doesn't want to be reminded.
• Locke's idea of "quiet time" with Miles is amusing.
  
• What was with Farady his card game with Charlotte? Is she testing his memory? Is he seriously fucked up, so much so that he can't remember three cards?

Overall, I would give this one an A- in general, and a solid B compared to the first thee eps which have all been A+. But next week we're back with Desmond, and probably hopping through time! Wheeeee!

What happens in the future, stays in the future.

Okay, thus far I've been on board with Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles. Some eps have been better than others, but basically, I find the cast appealing, I was a fan of the movies and I've been able to overlook some of the inherent and obvious flaws (like why could Cameron act like a typical teen in the pilot, then suddenly resort to "robot behavior" immediately after with no idea how to relate to human beings? Or how does whipped up in a bathtub skin heal in a day or two, after being completely surgically sculpted to look like Garrett Dillahunt? Or does no one ever check the dogged and deadpan FBI agent's "to do list" while he's off pursuing a presumably off book and dead end case? Or how does a metal head travel through a time bubble when one of the Terminator rules is that nothing, unless completely encased in flesh, can make it through? And don't even get me started on the paradoxes associated with time travel storytelling). So those nitpicks aside, I've enjoyed my hour of Terminaty escape each Monday and played along.

However, last night, I watched Monday's ep and just scribbled down on a notepad "what the fuck?" Yeah, there were a few good moments. Yes, it was nice to get glimpses of the post-apocalyptic future. But:

• I couldn't tell who the hell was who in the future. The actors weren't different enough in look, dress and speech patterns to distinguish individually.
• What the hell was going on in the basement? There was some soothing music, and early 800 model terminators were dragging our resistance fighters down there, then bringing them back up. Were they being interrogated? Gang raped by models like Cameron? Forced to waltz with robots and compete in a horrific future version of Dancing With The Terminators? There wasn't enough set up on the front end, nor follow up on the back end, of the visits inside the room to create any suspense. Just a confused feeling of what the hell was that, and why are we wasting time on it?
• Why did Kyle Reese have the poorly photoshopped picture of Sarah and her dog BEFORE the resistance captured the station with the time machine? This is where paradoxes start to cause migraines. And even if the paradox doesn't come into play, why give it to him before he's been assigned and able to go back to meeting his baby's momma?
• Were we supposed to NOT know that Brian Austin Green shot Andy Goode? I mean, it was fairly obvious that he did last time, so why the big "reveal" at the end of the episode?
• And speaking of Andy Goode, what the fuck? So he's in the future with Reese, chained to a floor, and apologizing for causing judgment day? Not looking any older than he does in the "present" when he was trying to get in Sarah's pants (and then shot by Reese)? How did he cause judgment day, and go from chess playing robot inventing dork now, to captured and apologizing resistance fighter in the future? And then BACK AGAIN?

These aren't Lost-like questions that make the mind wonder and send you dashing off to wikipedia to look up philosophers and mythological references. Or pique your curiosity within the framework of what you already know or surmise could be possible. These are just "what the fuck?" questions that make you aghast at the plotting and execution.

Of course, I could have more faith in the producers and determine that these poorly played out scenarios will have a payoff that will be satisfying. But for a show that I like and watch, not love and obsess over, we can't have too many more of these bizarro plot points.

Slow going this week.

Sorry to be so light on the posting this week. I've been out of town and just crazy busy. However, I'll be back tonight (or maybe sooner, if the world shuts down with a blizzard) with thoughts on last night's Lost and more.

This week's Ledger

Plus:

• Blue potato chips. This sounds positively unappetizing, but damn if they're not so tasty you overlook color that shouldn't be food.
• Dinner and a movie, though both are open to interpretation.
• Finally getting significant usage out of a mac-daddy new red and black window scraper.
• The writers' strike is officially over.
• Buffy, season 8.

Minus:

• Having to actually use a mac-daddy new red and black window scraper.
• Dealing with egomaniacal, game playing asswipes.
• Colds that won't go away.

They sleep with their siblings in Cleveland, Georgia?

I was catching up on a few of the latest Nip/Tuck episodes last night, and heard a reference that made me do a double take, but probably flew right over the head of 99.9% of the viewing audience. (if you're not up to date on Nip/Tuck through last week's penultimate ep of the season: SPOILERS).

While the primary patient, and episode namesake, was a horrifically ugly and venomous writer for EW (who naturally panned Sean and Hearts N' Scalpels), it was the secondary patient who caught my attention. Emmy, a young southern girl who read about McNamara/Troy and their altruistic work through the "Lizzie Grubman" (remember her?) program, came to see our docs about correcting a very visible port-wine stain on her face. Emmy was the product of a one night stand her mother had (more on that in a minute), and lived with taunts of her condition marking her like a Scarlett Letter. Of note was the city where Emmy said she grew up: Cleveland, Georgia.

For most Nip/Tuck viewers, that may seem like a throwaway line and just a reference to a small, southern town. However, for that tiny intersection of TNRLM readers and Nip/Tuck viewers, I'm sure it was a rewind moment. "Did she really just say Cleveland, Georgia?" You see, I have a few very dear friends actually native to this minuscule hamlet, including some who live there to this day (and who occasionally guest blog on a wildly popular website). My friends may know the answer to this better than I, but I can say that this is certainly the first time I've heard Cleveland, Georgia enter the pop culture lexicon in any way. Typically, Hollywood uses small southern towns as shorthand for "racist, inbred, redneck moron." Emmy was attractive, sincere and a bit naive (and had a questionable southern accent -- how hard is it to get these things right? I'm looking at you, Brenda Leigh Johnson, while throwing bouquets to Sawyer, who actually attended UGA for a time), but actually didn't represent the trite stereotype. Well, kinda.

Turns out, Matt's two dads (of which Christian is the biological father) were concerned about him falling way too hard for bombing victim / burn counselor Rachel. (side note: I didn't realize until last night that under all the make up, Rachel was played by Maggie Siff, who also plays the department store heir and Don Draper hook up Rachel Menken on Mad Men). Christian wanted to distract Matt from Rachel, and tried to push him in the direction of his sweet new southern patient, Emmy. When Rachel dumps Matt in an ugly scene and comes across Emmy in the hallway, the doc's son and newly "fixed" patient wind up doing the horizontal mambo back at dad's place. Which is all well and good, until you realize there has to be another shoe to drop. First, because this is Nip/Tuck. And second, because in the "previously on Nip/Tuck," we had a run through of Matt's cosmically awful choices in girlfriends (manipulative gender-reassigned life coach, Xenu worshipping porn star, pre-op trannie, white trash neo-nazi....). Making post-coital small talk, Emmy gushes about what a fantastic turn her life has taken, what with getting corrective surgery, meeting Matt and finally getting to know her real dad. You know, the one night stand her mom had referenced above. Her dad, who is a surgeon. Her dad, the surgeon who performed her surgery. Her dad, who is Dr. Christian Troy. Who also happens to be Matt's dad. Oooops.

Before they can even have the after-hump ciggie, Mattie has found a blog devoted to incestuous couples and thinks "this ain't too bad." Oh, Matt.

So while Emmy didn't represent the usual southern dolt in a typical way, our little gal from Cleveland, Georgia did just fuck her brother.

I've visited Cleveland quite a bit, but don't recall this being an issue there. However, my Cleveland readers might be able to shed more light on the subject:

• Is sibling schtupping more prevalent there than I recall?
• Did you ever make fun of a girl with half her face port wine color?
• Ever see a swaggering Miami doc driving a Ferrari in town, stopping at the Piggly Wiggly to buy faulty condoms?
• Do you remember any other mentions of your fair city on the tube?

This season of Nip/Tuck has been wildly uneven (and to tell the truth, it has been for the past couple of years). I still watch it out of habit, and because there are fantastic actors associated with it. But for a show that treads perilously close to camp, it wanders too often these days into an unbelievable caricature of itself. Sure, the ep that examined Rachel's backstory and haunted visions of her suicide bomber was deftly handled. And except for the hot tub scene, Paula Marshall's insecure actress was a welcome addition, as was Bradley Cooper's gloriously and amusingly over the top Hearts N' Scalpels sleazeball. But last week's collection of 70s nighttime soap vixens, with Donna Mills as a patient who literally wanted her face to look like a cat? Dear god. Don't even get me started on poor Joan Van Ark, who should have the dignity to not appear in public looking like that. One more face lift, and she'll have a goatee. I'll just ignore Sharon Gless's stalkery nutjob agent wannabe, and think of her more charismatic turn as Michael Weston's mom in Burn Notice. And the less said about season villainess Eden, looking like a reject from an 80s Motley Crue video, the better (though I probably wouldn't object to more movie scenes of her with Kimber).

Has anyone else completely given up on the show, or are you like me, and sticking it out until the bitter end?

Jack's new advertising campaign is a killer.

Great, funny piece over on TWOP that envisions how 24 would change if other prominent showrunners take the reigns of Jack Bauer's next worst day ever. Take a look at that, smile, laugh and come back.

All done? Good. Most of the obvious choices were taken, but here's TNRLM's stab at one more:

Matthew Weiner

After finding coded messages in a cigarette advertisement about building a nuclear weapon, Jack Bauer goes undercover in a swanky Madison Avenue ad agency, taking Chloe along as his "girl Friday." Playing method actor just like he did when he became addicted to drugs, detoxed and kicked the habit in 11 hours, Jack is consumed with his new identity as Ron Raper, adman extraordinaire, and tries to sever all ties to his former life as a suspect torturing, never pissing, one man killing machine. In fact, Jack is so deep undercover he doesn't notice that everyone is wearing skinny ties and that his magical cell phone that never runs out of power hasn't yet been invented. Meanwhile, office queen bee Joan takes Chloe out for a makeover that turns her boobs into conical weapons of mass destruction, and teaches her the value of not being so sullen to her supervisor and co-workers. Bonding over martinis and ass hugging skirts, Chloe lets slip that Ron isn't really who he says he is. Later, while having convenient three hour lunch sex with agency partner Roger Sterling, Joan outs Ron's identity. Roger is panicked because he intentionally created a shitty image campaign for Richard Nixon while being secretly on the payroll for the Soviets. Chloe passes Ron/Jack some secret intel on mimeograph paper, and remembering his true identity, Jack screams "Dammit!" Jack goes down to Roger's office, pours himself a glass of scotch, smokes a pack of Chesterfields, then bashes Roger's head to a bloody pulp with an IBM Selectric. For good measure, he walks down to Pete's office and asphyxiates him with the laundry bag his tailored suit came in.

If you have an appointment, leave 31 minutes early.

Okay, at some point I should just set up a cut and paste shortcut that reads “Holy Shit! What another great episode of Lost!” Because we’re 3 for 3 this season, y’all. Last night’s ep, “The Economist,” was yet another considered, action-packed mind-blower.

In no particular order, some highlights, quotes and questions (and if you haven’t watched this ep…..SPOILERS!):

• Naomi’s bracelet had an inscription: “N, I’ll always love you. RG.” Who is “RG?” And does Elsa (the chick Sayid dusts in the flash-forward) have a similar bracelet? Or the same bracelet?
• Sayid is one of the Oceanic 6. That makes 4 we know (Kate, Jack, Hurley and now Sayid).
• After globe-trotting man-of-mystery and international-killer-for-hire Sayid whacks that guy who met him on a deserted golf course, I realized it’s probably good for humanity that I don’t similarly carry a gun in my golf bag. (“Three putt? On the first hole? The motherfucking round is ruined! Bam!”)
• Ken Leung is a magnificent prick. First we had Sawyer’s southern fried sarcasm, now we have Miles’ in your face ghostbuster sarcasm. Totally awesome. I'd like to hire him just to walk around with me and insult people.
• “So what was he, a diplomat?”
• “I’ll let you know when I decide.”
• Tonight's best quotage, drolly delivered by Hurley: “Oh awesome. The ship sent us another Sawyer.”
• “I saw you snap that guy’s neck with that breakdancing thing you do with your legs. I think I’ll hang back here.”
• “I know it’s no use having friends you can’t trust.”
• Did it really take 31 “extra” minutes for the test rocket to arrive on the island? Is the island in some type of time dilation bubble? Is it a constant 31 minutes behind? Or does this fluctuate? And even more illogical, if this 31 minute gap occurs with the rocket, how do folks on the island communicate with those off of it, with questions/responses happening immediately? (Faraday's conversations with the boat this season, or even last season’s Charlie/Penny convo in the undersea station). Are transmission waves (and not objects) unaffected by the time difference?
• ''The day I start trusting him is the day I sell my soul.''
• Hurley was a plant? Part of Locke’s strategy? Sweet innocent Hugo? “Sorry dude.”
• “How long do you think we can play house?” (Ouch. Well, Kate, the usual answer is “until the money runs out. And your loins ache with a desire to be filled with coins and anonymous cocks.” However, I think in your case, the answer is “oh good christ, until Jack shows up again and decides he likes you better than Juliet”).
• ”Follow the exact same bearing.”
• “Send me a postcard.”
• "In case you zoned out while you were tweezing your goatee . . ."
• Funny when the former torturer is the more stable negotiator than the doc.
• Where did Jacob’s cabin go? I’m fairly certain the bizarre “ash” was still there. Does it move around? Or just vanish?
• Our old buddy Ben has a lot of passports. The name on one of them was “Dean Moriarty.” Obviously, you think of Sherlock Holmes’ nemesis. But googling the full name shows that it’s also a character from On The Road.
• Okay, so let me get this straight. In the future, off the island, Sayid is now a stone cold killer, working for….dunDUNdun….Ben! Who appears to be incognito as a German veterinarian. Why is he working for Ben? What does Ben have over him? ''Do you want to protect your friends or not?'' What does this mean? What friends? The others in the Oceanic 6? Protect them from what? From Ben? And who are the people on Ben’s list to be killed? Why are they on there? Does he make them up himself, or do they come from someone else?
• And maybe I’m just ultra cynical (shocking, I know) but I found it appropriate that an ep with two lovers, both with false identities, who betrayed and then shot each, aired on Valentine’s Day.

And finally, I found this little tidbit about Charlotte (“CS”) Lewis in Ausiello’s column over at TV Guide. For a while, our own little Veronica Mars, Kristen Bell, was in talks to join Lost as Lewis However, she wound up going on to Heroes, opening up the door for Rebecca Mader to take the same role.

Eventually, you can get laid in front of your huge-ass TV

Is this offer retroactive? Sign me up. Or can you get it on "lay-away," like in the old days? Perhaps put in a few, well spaced months, and enjoy some plasma goodness?

Good Joss Q&A here (h/t Whedonesque) with tidbits about X-Men, Buffy and Dollhouse (hopefully, soon to be in production!)

I really don't care if this movie has a plot or not. Or if there's a movie. Or if there are pages beyond the cover of the magazine.

Miscellaneous news from Galactica Sitrep: BSG's last season split in two; Bionic Woman dies quietly and two t-shirts someone needs to buy me (XXL, please). And no, there was no "Colonial Party" to vote for in the primaries today.

Spaceships blowing up. Do you need another reason?

Strike plans for Lost. Bottom line? We "lose" three eps this year, but get them added to next year, and we'll still end the season with the same (presumed) "what the fuck just happened" plot point. Awesome.

Saturday morning gaggle of goodies

Tidbits from a JJ Abrams chat on the new Trek movie.

I don't think I've blogged enough about Lost. Here's an interview with Jorge Garcia about last week's Hurley-centric premiere. (Did we determine definitively that it was Christian Sheppard -- Jack's "kinda dead" dad -- in the rocking chair in Jacob's cabin? Was he the one there when Locke visited Uncle Jacob's cabin? And what was up with Hugo filming a scene in the chair?)

Has UGA "dominated" the last decade of SEC football? Hey, I'm a homer with the best of them, but even I might call "shenanigans" on this list. Yes, there's been a remarkable consistency and two conference titles to boot. And the list is really just ranking by wins over the 10 year period (and 9.7 wins per year is nothing to sneeze at), but two schools "behind" UGA have won national titles, and a third should have played for one (sorry, Aubbies).

The pop culture gift that keeps on giving. Would it surprise you that I know someone who is not quite as classy as this? Or who makes dear Brit-Brit look like a model parent? No? Okay, move along now.

The sci-fi cliche drinking game. Smile in recognition.

Television's best show returns in March, with a couple of specials to get the newbies up to speed and celebrate the brilliance.

How the fuck can you make a song title out of this? However, unless she winds up in the nutshack with Britney, or detox with virtually every other celeb these days, I think it's an inspired choice. And I actually liked Chris Cornell's take on the last Bond theme.

And you thought the two recent Fantastic Four flicks were bad. As my nerd brethren are probably aware, there was a FF "movie" before Jessica Alba tried to emote as Sue Storm. I'd never seen footage from this gem, but now some has surfaced. Check it out.

Did you guys know that I cut an album? Courtesy of Albums That Don't Exist, you can make yours, too.

This week's Ledger

You know, I completely forgot to assemble a "ledger" for last week. I think that's because the past couple of weeks have been a blur. Other than a few diversions, work has been kicking my ass, mainly in a good way. So there's not much to report. However:

Plus:

• Lost. Mind? Blown. Welcome back.
• Instant messaging.
• Freshly ground coffee. The staple that keeps me going.
• In Treatment. There's something about this 30 minute drama that keeps me coming back, despite the fact that all the characters are fucked up. Or maybe because all the characters are fucked up. When you think about it, that's a 2 and a half hour TV show for the week. But it's much like trend toward mini-desserts. Or the wonderful tapas dinner I had Monday. Or the pony bottles of Miller we drank in college. So small, there's no guilt about overindulging.
• The mortgage interest exemption on your taxes. A small consolation for the financial havoc wreaked upon me last year, but hey, it's something. Live in the present, right?
  
• Interesting and eye opening conversations.
• Signing day. Welcome to the fold, AJ Green.

Minus:

• Static electricity. Before the winter is over, I think I'm going to be electrocuted in my office hallway.
• Super Bowl commercials. Overall, a disappointment.
• Super Bowl victory. Yes, it was a great game. But we faced the Sophie's Choice of hearing obnoxious Boston fans crow all year, or obnoxious NY fans crow all year. Blergh.
• Speaking of which, football is over. Damn.
• I think I have some type of bug. Not sick enough to see the doctor (not that I even know who the fuck mine is up here), yet not well enough to sing from the rooftops. Because we all know how often I do that. Still, I feel like I'm just dragging my ass around. (of course, that could be because it's my ass).
• Intently watching and reading about the presidential primaries, and realizing I hate all the candidates and no one really speaks for my issues (without the baggage of being at cross purposes with my beliefs). November is gonna blow.

"Where's the chopper?!" "I saw a cow."

Last night's new Lost, "Confirmed Dead," was surprisingly even more mind-blowing than last week's season premiere. Holy shit, did a lot happen. We learned a bit more about the "freighties," the four new characters who (it was presumed) came to rescue the survivors of Oceanic 815. However, the freighties have another agenda (more on that in a minute) and the questions bubbled to the surface at a breakneck pace.

First, the new cast members. Lost has been mainly dead-on with new additions (with the notable exception of the dour Ana Lucia. Hell, I even liked Nikki and Paulo, if only because of their campy and well deserved end in "Expose") and the freighties are no exception. We had "the drunk," the helicopter pilot who claimed to the scheduled pilot for 815, played by Jeff Fahey. (The Lawnmower Man, dude). There was Miles, the Ghostbuster with the Dustbuster, who delivered every line with a cocktail of venom and sarcasm, played by Ken Leung (who I remember for his unhinged turn as Uncle June's nutshouse friend on The Sopranos). There was the eternally twitchy Jeremy Davies as Faraday, who uttered one of the evening's many funny lines; "can't say I was in charge of packing." And Rebecca Mader as dogged anthropologist Charlotte, who I remember from the short lived Justice (with Spy Daddy). She affected a very convincing American accent for that show, since she was using her natural Brit tone here. All had an agenda and a role in the team assembled by Mister Abbadon (!) and led by knifed in the back Naomi, who didn't really have a sister to love (code for "I'm being held a gunpoint") and had, I believe, the first dead-person flashback.

Whew. Questions and Observations (and mainly questions):

• At first, I thought that we were in a flash forward, and perhaps the island had been swallowed whole by the ocean and that's why 815 (with notable shots of the cockpit and tail) was underwater. However, by the end, it was pretty clear that this was a flashback, and that the 815 seen submerged was an extravagant fake. Where do you find a plane to "fake crash" and put deep in the ocean? And why? And when (in the future) the "Oceanic 6" make it back to civilization, how is this plane explained? Do Jack and the other 5 go with this story, that the plane they were on is the one at the bottom of the ocean? Or is this exposed as a fake?
• "Colonel Kurtz taking orders from Walt."
• Was there a reason we didn't see much of Faraday's wife? Especially her face?
• Does a Dirt Devil allow you communicate with the dead?
• Why was Faraday so upset about seeing the wreckage of 815 at the bottom of the ocean? He claimed "I don't know," but is that true? Could it be that he believed that it was really elsewhere -- on the island as it was/is in "reality," -- and was shocked and saddened to hear a news report that that this wasn't true (before it turned out to be false)? Typing that hurt my head.
• Why did the freighties have gas masks? Is this related to the facade that the the dude Desmond killed (Kelvin) perpetrated about toxic conditions outside The Hatch? Or the "Purge" that Ben enacted? Or something else?
• "Rescuing you and your people – can’t really say it’s our primary objective." Holy shit. So what is? Turns out, the agenda (or so they say) is our own resident psychopath and master manipulator, Benjamin Linus. And where the hell was that photo of Ben taken? Isn't he supposed to have been on the island since he was a kid? Then how did the freighties get that pic? And why do they want him?
• Speaking of pictures, how did Naomi also have a picture of Desmond? Wasn't that picture of Des and Penny one of a kind, a Polaroid taken when they were together in London? And do the rest of the team know about Des and that pic? Arrrgh. My head hurts more.
• If the fake 815 was discovered by folks looking for a sunken ship, was that ship the Black Rock pirate ship? (and why didn't anyone go to the trouble of building and sinking a fake Black Rock like 815? Just kidding. I think).
• "It's only a matter of time before he gets us Johnny. And I bet he's already figured out how he's gonna do it."
• "I don't know Miles, how stupid are you?"
• "Sure, who are we to argue with taller ghost-Walt?!"
• Why was there a polar bear skeleton in the desert of Tunisia? Why was Charlotte giddy to find it? Why did it have a Dharma / Hydra collar on it? How long has it been there?
• How does Ben know so much about Charlotte, and why did he shoot her? Because he has a "man on the boat." Who is that man? Could it be Micheal? Or could it be one of the three other freighties?
• What did Ben and Locke think about Hurley's confession that he could see Jacob's cabin?

Again: Holy Shit. Only 6 more days until Thursday.

Quickies

At the end of this post, I made reference to Andy Umberger, who not only pulled the rare "hat trick" on the Whedon shows, but also popped up as the shrink on last year's best show, Mad Men. Well, there he was Monday night on Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles as the FBI director who was skeptical about the inconsistencies in the "dead plastic surgery dude" case. (And did the whiny, scheming agent who cut the legs out from under show regular Agent Ellison remind anyone else of Isaiah Thomas? He looked like him, and had that same phony smiling, unctuous attitude. Maybe he'll trade 7 future draft picks for a terminator and sign him to a long term, overpriced contract. Of course, that would make too much sense for Isaiah, since a terminator would probably wreak havoc in the low post).

Also, in preparation for tonight's fresh Lost, here's a TV Guide interview with the four new cast members. All hail the extra twitchy Jeremy Davies.

Hey, it could have been "Moonbeam" or "Barbar."

Or even my favorite, "Gimpy McCrutch."

I found this tidbit over on Pop Candy, a link to a Sawyer Nickname Generator. Mine?


If you want to refresh your memory on the rest of Sawyer's "real" nicknames, here's a handy list.

The bitch is back.

Remember the last paragraph if this entry? It seems that this speculation was indeed correct, and Cutthroat Bitch -- or, as Wilson likes to call his new girlfriend, "Amber" -- is back.

Great post Super Bowl ep of House last night, and how nice to see the lovely and talented Anne Dudek back as Cutth....Amber. Looks like she, House and Wilson will have a nice emphasis in the next episode, which thankfully, is only two days away.

Super Bowl LXII Ad Blog: Fourth Quarter

Sunsilk (celebrity hair): decent commercial, but not for the Super Bowl. B+ ad; D- on media buy.

Coke: Thirsty parade floats of Underdog and Stewie battling it out for a coke. That Charlie Brown finally gets. (and no Lucy to pull it away at the last minute, or break the bottle and stab him to death with the shards). Awwww, the little dude wins something after all. Nice. A-

Coke: Carville and Frist bond over a jinx and a Coke. Not bad. B-

Toyota Sequoia. I’m not even sure what the hell that was about. F

Movie (Don’t Mess With the Zohan): I’m sure it will make $100 million. But not from my wallet. D

You know, if I wasn’t already watching the Sarah Connor show, I might check it out based on the commercials. They’re kicking ass. A

ETrade. Fucking talking baby again. Nightmare fuel, in so many ways. F

Taco Bell: Fiesta Platters. Ola. Suddenly, I’m hungry. Again, worth $2.7 mil? Probably not. Will I order a Fiesta Platter? Probably. B-

Gatorade: Thirsty dog. Man’s best friend. Meh. C-

Bud Light (Will Ferrell’s new ABA movie ): “Refreshes the palate. And the loins. Suck one.” B+

Hyundai Genesis: Not flashy, in a commercial sense. But I think they’re getting their point across. B

Victoria’s Secret: Tom Brady just threw a pass to put the Pats ahead. And will probably have all these chicks by the time he leaves the locker room. B-

Amp: Dude jump starts a lady’s car via nipple clamps, an energy drink and “Push It.” When I think of nipple clamps, this is not what I want in my head. Premise makes sense, but makes me queasy. And not in the mood for an energy drink. C-

All in all, not a stellar lineup of commercials tonight. Bridgestone rocked, salesgenie.com sucked cock and many, many companies wasted their money. And Clydesdales and Dalmatians are always cute. Oh, and the New York Football Giants won! I don't think Tom Brady will be getting those models after all. And this probably means we'll be doubling our quota of Manning commercials on Sundays next fall.

Hey, there's a new House on!