Sometimes, birthdays aren't all they're cracked up to be

Monday, the adorable little fellow you see above celebrated a birthday. His name is Mulder, and he turned 15.

Today, he was diagnosed with kidney failure.

He showed no signs whatsoever of being sick until Monday, when I noticed that he wasn't quite as spry as usual while I was getting ready to go to work. Monday night, he didn't come running up to see me when I got home, and he was moving lethargically around the living room. And Monday night, he didn't come with me when I went to bed (where he usually curls up beside me as we watch TV and go to sleep). At first, I was hoping it was just the sniffles, or he had eaten a spider or something that didn't agree with him. This morning, I dropped him off at the vet. They did all the requisite tests and bloodwork, and the news is decidedly not good. His little kidneys are failing, and there's really not a lot we can do about it.

We gave him an IV bag of fluids and some antibiotics. I'm going to take him in tomorrow, and they're going to run two more bags of fluids through him while I'm at work, with the hope of hydrating his system. And I'll probably bring some more bags home this weekend, to continue to the process over four or five days. I've got some "kidney special" food for him to nibble on, but the realistic outlook, especially for a kitty his age, isn't very good.

In the decade and a half he's been with me, I've lived in two states and three houses. I've been divorced, engaged and had friends, girlfriends, dogs and even kids (!) live with me. I've had four different cars and worked for four different companies. I've traveled to six different countries. I've lost my father (my mother, who passed on her love of cats to me, died even before I adopted Mulder). The one constant through all of this has been Mulder, and I couldn't have had a more steadfast, true, affectionate and sweet-natured friend.

Intellectually, I can come to grips with the way things may unfold over the next few days, or weeks or months. Emotionally, I'm not quite ready to deal with it. There are still some tests and treatments to come, and who knows, the prognosis could change. But I'm not prepared to say goodbye just yet.

If you have a pet, go give 'em a hug. Tell 'em that you love 'em, no matter how many times they try to drink your coffee, eat your pizza, leave hair all over your black clothes or chew up the toilet paper roll. Soon, you'll really, really miss those things.

All I know is I'm gonna sit down on the couch tonight and do some serious cuddling.

In which groceries appear by magic

I'm ridiculously excited about getting my first delivery from Peapod this morning. For those of you who don't recognize the name, Peapod is a grocery delivery service. They bring your order, which is placed online, right to your door for a fee. Depending on the size of the order, and your location, the delivery fee is around eight to ten bucks. The groceries themselves come from a local retailer, and typically tie into whatever regular frequent shopper program you have with that store (offering you accrual of gas card points or other bennies).

I've never really enjoyed going to the grocery store. I like the outcome, since I'm a notorious list-maker and organization nut, and value having backups of everything so there's never I time I run out of any staples. But the process of going there, shopping, carrying all the bags in and putting away the groceries? Not that fun. It's better when the weather is warm (which it decidedly is not in Maryland right now). And discovering the joys of listening to podcasts on the iPod while shopping certainly makes it more tolerable (with the added bonus of the earbuds serving as a visible "please don't talk to me" sign). But I saw a Peapod truck dropping off a delivery in my complex a week ago, and decided to give it try, no matter what it cost.

Shopping here is just awful. The stores, with rare exceptions, are all smaller than they were back in Georgia. And I mean smaller in just about every way. The parking lots are smaller, and you have to drive around forever to find a space. The spaces themselves are smaller, which is aggravating for a rotund man with an SUV. No one wheels your groceries out for you like they did at Publix, and the cart returns are few and far between. The inside of the stores are smaller, too. Fewer selections, fewer checkout aisles. And the regular shopping aisles themselves! If there's just one other shopper in the aisle -- gods forbid they have a buggy -- you have to make like Indiana Jones in the beginning of Raiders just to make it by without knocking product off the shelves or getting intimate with a stranger.

Getting back home with the groceries is almost as bad as the in-store atmosphere. Back home, I just pulled up into the garage, and that inside door connected right to the kitchen. Now, while I have covered parking a covered walkway to the door of my unit, it's still more than the 5 feet I used to previously traverse, and I'm still exposed to the elements (which lately, have been wind, snow, rain and cold). Making multiple trips to carry bags in is fine when you're inside and the trek is 8 feet. When the jaunt is 50 yards with snow coming at you sideways? Fuck that noise. So, I wind up doing one of two things: Either I regulate my shopping to make sure that I only purchase items that can be carried in one load from the car to the kitchen in one trip (with my briefcase, since I usually go after work), therefore limiting the amount of supplies I can purchase on any given trip and subsequently consigning me to make even more visits to the hellish retail establishment from whence they came, OR I try to load myself up like a tortured and abused pack mule to get a trunk full of groceries moved in one trip, probably doing irreversible damage to my spine.

At the end of the day, ten bucks seems like a worthwhile tradeoff to me. (Plus, there's a special now that offers 60 days worth of free deliveries after your first order, so the per trip cost may average out to be less than that on an annual basis).

Maybe I'll change my tune after the first delivery. One of the potential downsides is how the groceries are packaged. I loves me some plastic bags. The pictures on the website make the bags look like they do in every single movie and TV show in history - a paper bag with a delightful baguette sticking out the top. I hate paper bags. They're bulky and pretty much useless after they've served their purpose. The plastic bags, however, I use with great regularity. For disposing of cat litter. For taking my lunch to work. To separate dissimilar items in a suitcase when I travel. For running errands or making visits when you're taking a group of objects and don't want to hassle with bringing a bag back. I've got a pantry full of plastic bags right now, but if this new grocery shopping endeavor doesn't supply me with them on a regular basis, what will I do? I guess I could just purchase a case of them wholesale to deal with my personal uses, or make a rare trip into the maw of retail torment, use the self-checkout and bag each and every item down to the chewing gum individually to replenish my supply, but it does add another variable to the equation.

Anyhoo, the first delivery should be here in the next hour, so we'll see how it goes. At least there won't be any screaming kids, dinged car doors or cashiers that don't say "honey" and "y'all."

One or Two?

I just read this rant on Slate, and my head almost exploded.

You see, it's about the old "one space or two at the end of a sentence" debate. The author doesn't feel it's much of a debate, really, and that the "rule" was established long ago by typography professionals (in favor of one space).

I thought about this for a good while. Being my age, and having learned to type on a typewriter before the dawning of the age of computers, I was taught and always practiced the "two space" method. When PCs and Macs became part of the fabric of everyday life, I still continued the way I was originally taught, with the two spaces. However, I recall getting in a debate with some of my compatriots at the ad agency where I worked, and we researched this thoroughly. Even though this was pre-google, and you couldn't find over THIRTEEN MILLION RESULTS on the topic, we did reach a consensus (for many of the reasons outlined in the Slate article) that we should all be putting only one space after a period. That became our standard, and I'm fairly sure I retrained myself to comply for all my typing.

However, as I was reading the article, I started to wonder if I was a one space person, or a two space person. I honestly couldn't remember. I opened up Word, and started to type random sentences. I put one space at the end of a sentence. It felt wrong. I put two spaces at the end of a sentence. That felt wrong. Well, fuck, I know it's not three. I kept typing, and just couldn't determine what was normal for me, and my brain scrambled.

That reminds me of a trick we used to play when I played a lot of golf. Somewhere, mid-round when there was a bet on the line, you would casually ask your competitor if he exhaled or inhaled during his backswing. 99% of golfers never actively think about this, but once the thought is in your head, it eats you alive like a starving piranha at an aquatic Golden Corral. Golf is so delicate and mental anyway, it's usually good for 2 or 3 strokes in your favor.

I think part of my issue trying to figure it out is that I KNOW I do the double-space on my BlackBerry. Double-space there, and it automatically puts a period in to end the sentence and capitalizes the next letter you type to start the next sentence. However, it really only inserts ONE space; the two gestures tell the system what to do with the punctuation and capitalization. Once I figured this out, and started typing this blog post, it dawned on me that with "real" keyboards, I've adapted to the modern world and become a "one space after period" person.

Still, it was frightening to spend ten minutes typing endlessly away not having any idea of what the holy hell to do when I reached the end of the sentence.

What about you? One space, or two?

The Winner! TNRLM's Favorite TV Characters of the Year: The 2010 Contest Results

Thanks, Dear Readers, for playing along with the TNRLM Favorite TV Characters of the Year contest. Despite the fact that several of these characters won't be with us in the new year, it was a good year for television. Maybe not network television, but television in general. So hopefully Santa brought you blu-rays and HDTVs and DVRs and all the other things that make television so compelling. Now, if we can just convince Nielsen families to play along with the rest of us that enjoy quality programming...

So, without further ado, the answers to the puzzle, followed by the winner of this year's contest:

The images:

And the characters:

1. Alice Morgan, Luther. First, I find my attraction to this character kind of odd, since I had an ex-wife by the same name. That said, I was fascinated by Ruth Wilson’s portrayal. I first noticed her on AMC’s ambitious, but ultimately unfulfilling, remake of The Prisoner. When she popped up here, I was interested, but then became suddenly entranced in the first episode, when her character slowly peeled back the layers (I won’t spoil things, but if you haven’t seen Luther yet, go watch it now). Let’s just say that you need an actress with serious chops, and a compelling character, to hold the screen with Idris Elba, and Alice certainly fit the bill.
2. Abed Nadir, Community. It’s difficult to single out a favorite character from Community, a show that from the jump was my favorite sitcom since Arrested Development. Forced to pick one, I would go with Abed, since it is his Asperger's-tinged worldview that drives much of the tone of the show. And it’s not just his beautifully performed deadpan delivery and entertaining observations on pop culture; it’s also his heart (on a show that reveals surprising levels of pathos wrapped up in the parodies and homages). It’s his underlying emotion that centers the show, particularly in episodes like the Mean Girls riff or the instant-classic claymation xmas episode.
3. Brittany S. Pierce, Glee. Like all Ryan Murphy shows, Glee is a manic-depressive trainwreck. If you’re looking for emotional, narrative and logical consistency, Glee is not the show for you. If you’re looking for a few sizzling musical performances, and some laugh out loud comedic diversions, then stick around, they’re sure to be coming after the next commercial break. Kurt (martyrdom notwithstanding) and Burt Hummel may be the closet to fully realized characters, but Brittany is a one-woman humor machine who never fails to delight. Her moronic one-liners are leavened with an innate naïveté, and DAMN, can she dance.
4. Claudia Donovan, Warehouse 13. I actually like most of the primary cast of Warehouse 13, a show (along with Eureka) that keeps me from going all jihad on SyFy, as they cancel all their “hard sci-fi” programming (RIP, Caprica and Stargate: Universe). The central relationship between Pete and Myka is wonderfully played, and surprising in that they didn’t go the typical route of unresolved romantic tension, instead opting for an engaging brother-sister vibe. However, I picked Claudia because Alison Scagliotti takes what could have been a Wesley Crusher role, that of the annoying, angsty teen genius, and infuses it with wit, charm and just enough edge to elevate the character out of the clichés.
5. Amy Pond, Doctor Who. On every level, the fifth season (or series, as they say across the lower-case pond) of Who was a smashing success. Stephen Moffat expertly balanced end of the world scope with intimate stakes, without resorting to some of the worst operatic histrionics and deus ex machina implausibilities of the Russell T. Davies era. Matt Smith was a charming and off-center Doctor, another bullseye of casting since the show’s revival, and even poor Rory had a nice role to play, eventually fitting into the season long arc quite well. Amy’s mystery was central to the plot mechanics of season five, and Karen Gillian’s companion was full of sass, exasperation and wonder, while still finding time to actively participate in beating back the bad guys. Plus, when she was asked to do some of the emotional heavy lifting, as when she started to lose her memories of her fiancé, erased from time, she delivered in spades. Welcome aboard the Tardis, Amy Pond.
6. Sterling Archer, Archer. We’re in the Danger Zone! Unless you’ve actually watched the profanely hilarious Archer on FX, there’s not much I can say to convince you why he’s one of the best characters on TV. Unless you have a soft spot for jealous, lunk-headed, self-absorbed momma’s boys with a license to kill.
7. Batiatus, Spartacus: Blood & Sand. Tune in for the 300-esque styling and blood splatter, and stay for the rich character development and political scheming. The first few episodes of Spartacus were derivative and obvious, and I wouldn’t blame you if you tuned out. But somewhere along the way, former Buffy scribe Steven S. DeKnight and crew found the right tone for the show, and it became one of the 2010’s guiltiest pleasures. There’s language that approaches Deadwood in its overwrought and vulgar poetry, best embodied by John Hannah’s turn as the manipulative Ludus owner Batiatus. Aided by his delightfully cunning wife (played by Lucy Lawless), Batiatus made mustache-twirling villainy fun.
8. Tami Taylor a.k.a “Mrs. Coach”: Friday Night Lights. Finally, Emmy voters gave some recognition to both Coach and Mrs. Coach, who have been anchoring FNL for years with one of the most realistically and engagingly played adult relationships in TV history. They may fight about the little stuff around the edges, but at the core, there’s never a doubt about their affection for and commitment to each other. Connie Britton gives Tami heart, wit, smarts and sensitivity, all rolled up in a package that makes you understand where the term MILF comes from.
9. Olivia Dunham(s), Fringe. Early on in Fringe, Agent Dunham was the stoic outsider, keeping a poker face at all the assorted sci-fi freak shows unfolding before her. She wasn’t given much to do, and some folks questioned whether Anna Torv had the chops to lead a series. No more. After last year’s finale, when the alt-world Olivia swapped places with “our” Olivia, we had two characters in worlds where they didn’t belong. When you think about it, Torv actually played FOUR characters this year: both of the individual Olivias, plus the façade each had to play to fit in their new world. And it’s a credit to Torv that you could see the subtle differences in each of those four. Really, a tour de force that will probably go ignored at Emmy time, just like John Noble last year.
10. Crowley, Supernatural. A dose of Mark Sheppard always makes things better (see Firefly, The Middleman, Warehouse 13, BSG, Leverage and many, many more). The past two seasons, he’s popped up on Supernatural as the demon Crowley, who alternately helps and hinders the Winchesters as he pursues his own agenda. With a snarling condescension, he livened up the proceedings, capped off in an episode when he wound up arguing with “himself.” Great stuff.
11. Marshall Mann, In Plain Sight. USA’s In Plain Sight stays under the radar. It doesn’t get the ratings of Royal Pains or Covert Affairs; nor does it get as much attention from critics as Burn Notice or White Collar. But it chugs along, delivering solid procedural entertainment anchored by two terrific central performances: Mary McCormack as prickly and borderline unlikeable (but highly competent) US Marshal Mary Shannon, and Frederick Weller as her deadpan, know it all (really!) partner Marshall Mann. Mary does most of the emotional heavy lifting, and the less said about her family the better, but it’s Weller/Mann that keeps this show on my season pass list. He’s like a tall, lanky version of Mr. Spock, only without the pointy ears and with a heightened sense of sarcasm. There’s heart to the character, too, and it’s a delight to see how much Weller can bring to each and every line reading with such a narrow band of “volume” to play with. Highly underrated.
12. Daniel Greystone, Caprica. I can intellectually understand why Caprica didn’t catch on. Folks were still pissed about the ending of BSG. Prequels have a built in demerit, since the ending is already written. Some of the characters just didn’t work. It was too “talky.” But damned if I didn’t love it. I liked what it said about human consciousness and grief. And even as the plot meandered, the show had excellent performances and production values. I could have listed any one of several characters, but I chose Daniel Greystone. Eric Stolz was fantastic in the role, whether he puts on his scientific hat to play god, or wallows in his misery over all that he has lost. In a season and a half of fantastic acting choices, he was never better than in the episode where he starts to suspect that his daughter’s consciousness is somehow inside the U-87 cylon prototype, and forces “it” to do some horrifying things just to test that theory.
13. Dan Stark, The Good Guys. See the ‘stache. Respect the ‘stache. No character brought me greater delight this year than Bradley Whitford’s, playing against type, throwback cop Dan Stark. He walked out of a parody of 70s cop shows, right into a breezy, modern day show from Matt Nix, the creator of Burn Notice. Whitford committed 100% (and played well off the capable and affable Colin Hanks), and even though The Good Guys won’t be back next year, we’ll always have the memories of one of the most unique comic creations of the past few TV season. Bonus points for casting Gary Cole as Dan Stark’s equally amusing former partner.
14. Hank Dolworth, Terriers. Holy shit, it seems like I keep listing great characters from engaging shows…that wound up canceled. My heart breaks a little with this one, because if I put together a list of the best shows of 2010 (keeping in mind I’m not caught up on Breaking Bad), Terriers would be my Number One. As with many on this list, I could have easily picked any of the Terriers’ regulars and been happy with the choice. Narrowing it down to one, though, I’ll have to go with Donal Logue’s Hank. Even though the show’s name, in hindsight, didn’t do it any marketing favors, it really, truly fits. Hank is a terrier – a scrappy, metaphorically undersized little pisser; full of will and fight and unable to realize when he’s gotten in over his head, yet not capable of letting go of that bone. Terriers may not see another season, but you can rest assured that I’ll be viewing it quite a bit once the show is released on DVD. A little 13 episode slice of perfection, anchored by two Emmy-worthy performances and some of the best writing you’ll ever find on TV.
15. Guererro, Human Target. This one was kind of a late addtion. For whatever reason, I missed the show during its first season. And it came back just recently, with a new showrunner and slightly retooled, for a new season. I tuned in this time, and while I can see why there are some complaints about the changes, the work being done by the three regulars from last year (Mark Valley, the always good Chi McBride, and Jackie Earle Haley as Guererro) is superb. I singled out Haley, because his stone cold killer is so much damned fun. Don’t touch the ElDo.
16. Kale Ingram, Rubicon. Yet another character from a show smothered in the crib. Rubicon was not without its faults – the show never really figured out what to do with Miranda Richardson’s character, the pacing was deliberate (which I liked, once invested in the cast) and the finale was a letdown. Still, there was nothing else on TV like it, an adult drama that paid homage to the conspiracy flicks I watched with my parents growing up. James Badge Dale was wonderful as the centerpiece of the show (he also turned in stellar work on HBO’s The Pacific), but my favorite character was Arliss Howard’s Kale Ingram. Calm, cool and collected, but always menacing, Ingram walked a tightrope with his every appearance. Nothing you found out about him as the layers of the onion peeled back was particularly surprising, but it was always entertaining.
17. Mozzie, White Collar. White Collar is an enjoyable trifle, elevated by the charm and chemistry of the cast, particularly leads Matt Bomer and Tim DeKay. But for me, it always livened up once Willie Garson’s Mozzie was on screen. Though Bomer’s Caffrey has “gone straight,” it’s his best friend Mozzie who keeps one foot firmly planted in Neal’s previous world, and approaches all this do-goodery with a healthy dose of skepticism. (Just listen to the way he always says “suit”). Garson’s off-kilter line readings were a delight, and he was never better than when playing off the agents or DeKay’s wife, played by Tiffani Amber Thiessen.
18. Zoey Barkow, Nurse Jackie. For a show that’s ostensibly a comedy, Nurse Jackie is short on laughs. Yes, it follows the Showtime model of casting an acting powerhouse as the central character, and having them plumb the darkness of the given situation. Yet Weeds, Tara and even Big C produced more chuckles than Jackie, so it’s no surprise that Merrit Weaver’s daffy, likeable Zoey was an oasis of warmth and fun in a desert of narcissistic despair.
19. Peggy Olsen, Mad Men. Roger gets all the one-liners, and Don gets most of the dramatic red meat, but this season, Mad Men’s fourth (and perhaps best) really belonged to Peggy. She grew professionally, and personally (see her kept at arms length boy toy, or flirtations with the bohemian lifestyle), and her dramatic confrontation with Don in the single best episode of television this year, “The Suitcase,” was the natural apex of her evolution.
20. Sherlock Holmes, Sherlock. How do you breathe life into a character so well known, and who has been portrayed indelibly so many times in so many mediums? Stephen Moffat seems to have found the trick, casting the wonderfully named Benedict Cumberbatch as the world’s most famous and competent detective in his modern day reboot of Sherlock Holmes. He didn’t wear a deerstalker cap and was addicted to his mobile phone, yet this incarnation was unmistakably Holmes – all manic energy and five steps ahead intellectual acumen.
21. Richard Harrow, Boardwalk Empire. Fortunately for us, Jack Huston’s Richard has been added to the primary cast for BE’s second season. Richard did so much with so little this year (see his vet hospital scenes with Jimmy, or his encounters with Margaret’s kids), but he was never less than captivating.
22. Raylan Givens, Justified. Timothy Olyphant’s US Marshal was a charismatic addition to the stable of FX leading men. Givens didn’t always want to draw his piece, but when he did, you had fair warning that he knows how to use it. Though only the pilot episode was drawn directly from the works of Elmore Leonard, the show remained true to Leonard’s mood and style of dialogue, and Olyphant was terrific at capturing the charming, laconic yet deadly vibe of this complex character.
23. Sunil, In Treatment. Either you’re on board for In Treatment’s 30 minute series of “one act plays,” or you’re not. If you are, you get to witness some of the best pure acting on television today. There’s not a lot you can do with 2 people, in a room, talking, so the degree to which In Treatment propels you along as a viewer depends to a superhuman degree on the caliber of the actors. In Treatment has been blessed with some great performances, and season three was no exception. In fact, it’s hard to single out just one. Dane DeHaan, Debra Winger and particularly Amy Ryan, were all spectacular, but to me, Irrfan Khan as Sunil is the one most worthy of singling out. As Paul’s first patient of the week, a prickly father in law displaced from his home in Calcutta, Sunil was pitiable, uncomfortable, threatening and always mesmerizing. To say more would diminish the surprise of his arc, but it’s definitely one of the best performances of year.
24. Russell Edgington, True Blood. Let’s face it, True Blood’s third season was a hot mess. The plot never really came together, and too many new (and fairly uninteresting) characters were jammed uncomfortably into a sprawling regular ensemble that wasn’t given enough to do. But the one bright spot of the season was Denis O’Hare’s imperious vampire king, Russell Edgington. O’Hare didn’t just chew scenery, he devoured it voraciously, spit it out, and came back for seconds. And we loved every minute of it. On a show that’s borderline camp anyway, Edgington walked up to that line and did a pirouette over it, yet never failed to keep you entertained. Even as he gave soliloquies to a glass jar full of the gooey remains of his lover, O’Hare made you feel for Russell all while you’re wondering how the hell can any actor pull this off. His “interruption” of a local newscast was a high point of the TV season, equal parts chilling and laugh your ass off funny.
25. Jack Donaghy, 30 Rock. Even when the show heads into one of its “down periods” (like most of last year), the core relationship between Liz Lemon and Jack is reason enough to tune in. Fortunately, 30 Rock seems to have found another gear this year, and is making the most of its parts (hell, even Jenna is funny, and Kenneth is tolerable in small doses). Alec Baldwin’s Jack, always a highlight, even in the fallow periods, has never been better.  Well, his multi-voiced “therapy” with Tracy was an all-time highlight, but this year, his video messages to his unborn son are right up there in a collection of Jack’s greatest hits.

So there you have it. Agree or disagree? Who were your favorite characters of the calendar year?


Finally, congratulations to Jim Zvonec, who won this year's contest by correctly identifying 20 of the 25 characters (breaking a tie, having the earliest timestamp by 8 minutes!). Jim wins an HD television episode of his choice, featuring one of the 25 characters shown above.

Thanks to everyone for playing, and we'll see you around these parts next year for the third edition of the contest. Happy Holidays and great TV for all.

TNRLM's Favorite TV Characters of the Year: The 2010 Contest Results Teaser

I'll be back shortly to announce the winner of the contest, and reveal the characters, but first, a few observations:

• No one guessed all 25 characters. No one did last year, either. In 2009, the winner correctly identified 24 of 25. This year, the winner (and the runner up) got 20 of 25 correctly.
• There was a tie for first place, and the winner was decided by 8 minutes on the timestamp.
• There were three characters that no one guessed correctly. (#1, #8 and #23).
• Only one person identified #19 and #25.
• Depending on how you slice the numbers, almost all of the shows represented are niche programming or ratings-challenged. A quick look at ratings trends indicates that 92% of them garner less than 5 million (total) viewers on their first run (cable shows, though, pick up additional viewers with repeat airings. And as we all know, total viewers are far less important to the networks than 18-49 viewers).
• Five of the shows represented already been canceled. (sniff)
• Networks represented: FOX with 4 mentions, BBC (!), FX and HBO with 3, AMC, NBC, SyFy and USA with 2, and CW, DirecTV, Showtime and Starz with 1 each.

 Later this morning, the reveals and the winner. Stay tuned.

Partial Holiday To Do List

One of the joys of the holiday season, and indulging in the "use it or lose it" vacation days, is the complete absence of a formal agenda. No work schedule. No family obligations. No place to be. Hell, no need to shave or even get out of your jammies. Plus, no one looks at you funny for quaffing bloody marys and watching Doctor Who reruns at 7 AM. Well, the cats do, but that's just because I won't share any of my vodka with them.

Still, there are a few things I want to accomplish during this extended break, including (but not limited to):

• Go through Garmin's convoluted and confusing process for updating all the maps on my GPS.
• Program all my favorite XM stations into the new receiver in my car.
• Avoid all sappy xmas music and specials.
• Catch up on all the shows on my DVR (for the first time in forever, it's up to 90% free right now).
• Knock out a chunk of the book - Game of Thrones - that's been burning up my Kindle recently.
• Read the comic collections of Planetary. The first volume was terrific.
• Doctor Who xmas special!
• Hit the theatres for a few things I've missed lately, like True Grit, Tron Legacy and Black Swan, preferably at times inconvenient for....people.
• Go through the special features and commentaries on the Dollhouse season 2 bluray.
• Crown a winner in the 2010 TNRLM Favorite TV Character Contest.
• Catch up on a ton of podcasts I've been stockpiling.
• And of course, watch the Dawgs close out a disappointing season with a bowl victory.

What about y'all? What's on your holiday to do list?

Speaking of to do lists, this has to be my favorite:

TNRLM's Favorite TV Characters of the Year: The 2010 Contest

It's that time of year again, when I look back at my Favorite TV Characters of the calendar year, AND give you a chance to win a valuable prize.

First, some background.

• To read about the idea of the contest, check out this post.
• To see 2009's character collage, check out this post.
• And to see the results of the 2009 contest, won by the very sharp and delightful Amanda (blog here, twitter here), check out this post.

If you don't feel like reading that (but you should, of course), here's a quick overview of the contest and the rules:

1. Below I've posted a collage of cropped images of my 25 Favorite TV Characters from the calendar year 2010.
2. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to accurately identify all* 25 characters. NOT the actor. NOT the show. The character.
3. Entries should be a list, numbered 1-25, with the corresponding character name.
4. The first reader to send me an email correctly identifying all* the characters will win a prize.
5. Deadline for entries is midnight, Sunday, December 26th.
6. The prize will be an iTunes episode (in HD, if available) from one of the 25 shows in which any of the characters on my list appears. (You choose the show and the episode, and the particular episode doesn't necessarily have to be from 2010 . For example, if one of my favorite characters is Dean Winchester, you could choose "Devil's Trap" from Supernatural's first season. Last year, I believe Amanda chose one of the two hour Doctor Who specials, "Waters of Mars").

*When the contest deadline is over, I will review all the entrants. The first, according to the gmail timestamp, entry to correctly identify all 25 characters will win. However, should no one identify all 25 characters, the first timestamped entry to correctly name the GREATEST NUMBER of characters will be declared the winner. (Last year, Amanda got 24 of 25, only missing out on Supernatural's Castiel). So even if you don't know them all, you could and should enter.

Easy enough, right? Okay, same as last year, here are a few more rules, disclaimers and considerations:

• I'm going to limit myself to one character per show. In reality, when you look at the talent-rich casts of shows like Fringe, Boardwalk Empire, Terriers or Modern Family, I could fill up the collage with just them.
• None of the characters from the 2009 contest will be repeated here. Because if I did, every year, I would just post different pictures of Ron Fucking Swanson, Walter Bishop, Roger Sterling and Charlie Kelly.
• The characters are not necessarily the "best" characters, or the most expertly-portrayed characters. Just my favorites (within the confines of the contest rules, e.g., not on last year's list, aired in 2010, one per show).
• The characters listed will have to have been part of the regular cast or a recurring guest star, listed in the credits, and not a single-episode guest star. For example, Peter Weller as creepy ex-cop on Dexter? Eligible. Peter Weller as a creepy scientist on Fringe's haunting "White Tulip" episode? Not eligible.
• The characters have to be from an episode that originally aired in calendar year 2010.
• I'll publish the list and contest here on the blog and simultaneously tweet a link to the post. So no matter how you usually get here (casual reading, twitter, RSS reader, etc.) you'll have the same opportunity to play.
• You'll need a valid email address. Obviously, if I'm going to give the winner iTunes TV goodies, I'll have to send you a link to pick up your prize.
• Submissions are by email, rather than by comments posted on the blog itself, so that partial or incorrect submissions wouldn't give "hints" or "a leg up" to subsequent entries.
• The submissions can be sent to the email address on the side of this blog: TNRLMeditor(at)gmail.com
• Enter as many times as you like!

Remember, DON'T post your numbered entries or guesses in the comments.  But, feel free to talk about your favorite characters there.

So, without further ado, here are the pictures:

Mirthy Quote

Was reading a roundup of end-of-year picks on Vulture (whole thing here) and got to this quote, which made me giggle uncontrollably:

That's all there is to the quote. But it really should finish...."on the other hand...well...there is no other hand."

I'm just glad they're not smoking cigars

Last week, when I came back from out of town, I walked into the casa to find the freezer door open. No maintenance entry. Nothing missing. Door was locked. Occam's Razor suggests it HAD to be the cats.

I was kinda pissed, because I was walking in to catch the end of the Braves game, and after watching  Brooks Conrad forget everything he had learned about fielding from his study of the Tom Emanski instructional tapes, I desperately wanted a big fat cocktail.  But there was no ice. Just a bucket of room temperature water.

Tonight I get back, and was happy to find that indeed, the door was locked and the freezer door was closed. But then there's a bottle of whiskey on the kitchen floor. When I left, it was on the counter. Again, it had to be the cats.

Ice? Whiskey? I think my cats are closet drunks.

Next time I come back from a trip, I expect to find them sitting at the kitchen table knocking back a few cocktails and hosting a poker game with some escapees from the local animal shelter.

Hell, as long as they clean up and use their winnings to restock the bar, I'm okay with that.

Evidently, passed out after a 3-day bender.

Bloody Good Snacks

Every week, my Balmer Bestie and I get together to watch flicks and good TV, knock back a few adult beverages and nosh on some munchies. Sometimes, we try to "theme" the food and drink to the evening's programming, such as canapes and extra dry martinis for a showing of The Thin Man, or white russians for yet another visit with The Big Lebowski. (We also grilled steaks for a Buffy marathon - does that count? Get it? Stakes?)

This week, we'll be watching Supernatural, Boardwalk Empire, and most importantly, the season premiere of one of our mutual favorite shows, Dexter. I got an email today, suggesting this as a possible snack to accompany the return of our beloved serial killer and blood spatter expert:

They're lollipops! Isn't that awesome? (as long as they don't taste of Lithgow). The recipe and details can be found here.

What about y'all? Any good suggestions for themed food/booze/entertainment combos?

Disappointing music morning

Trying to find some music online this morning, and was stymied. Specifically, I was looking for the choral performance of "Creep" that's been used in ads for The Social Network...




...and Bob Seger's "Beautiful Loser," which was used so well in last night's season premiere of Supernatural.

Neither was available via easy and legal means (i.e. Amazon or iTunes).

Sigh.

Thoughts on the BlackBerry Torch 9800

After a week of living with the new BlackBerry Torch 9800, I thought I'd check in with a quick review. In short, it's best BlackBerry RIM has ever produced.


Now, if you read a lot of tech review sites, you'll get mixed impressions. Some people love it. Some people think it's a swing and miss. Some people think it spells doom and gloom for RIM because it's not an iPhone or Android "killer" that will send the masses running to switch devices. I'm not going to get caught up in the positioning and business strategy for the product, except to say that if you already love your iPhone or Droid, it's probably not the phone for you. If you're a BlackBerry user, you'll adore this device. If you're somewhere in the middle, then it will depend on what you want a smartphone to do.

Me? The most important things my phone can do for me are (obviously) handle calls, easily take care of multiple messaging platforms (email accounts, BBM, texts), and flawlessly synchronize data with all the components (calendar, contacts, notes, tasks) of Outlook across multiple desktop installations (XP/2003 and Win 7/2007). Beyond those basic needs, I want a functional camera, an easy to use RSS reader, twitter capabilities, synchronization with password/information management (I use Splash ID), capable web browsing, and a "real" keyboard. I don't use it for gaming, or nonsense fart apps, and it doesn't have to be my primary audio device, though it would be nice if there was some functionality there. If your needs are in the same ballpark, then you'll find the Torch stone cold awesome.

A few thoughts:

Hardware

• Size-wise, it's right between the Bold 9700 and Bold 9000 (my old phone). It's hefty and rock solid, and I haven't experienced any "wiggle" in daily use. The size and vertical orientation allows for easy one-handed operation, which has always been a hallmark of a RIM device.
• The keyboard is great, as are all RIM keyboards. Personally, I would have preferred a slightly bigger device and keyboard, since the Bold 9000 is about as perfect as you can get. The Torch's keyboard is a wee bit smaller, and while I can still crank out emails and texts, my accuracy isn't quite what it was with the Bold. If you don't have fat thumbs, you may like this even better.
• The slider is terrific. It moves up and down solidly, and feels locked into place wherever you put it.
• The touchpad is a huge improvement over the trackball. The great thing is that you can use the touchscreen for anything you want, but the touchpad is always there, too, and equally as convenient.
• It comes with a slot for a microSD card (and includes a 4GB card). I've already upgraded to a 16GB card, and it offers plenty of space.
• The screen looks great. There's been a lot of grousing in the press about the quality of the screen, and how it doesn't match up to the resolution of the iPhone or Droid. I can't argue with the general point - those screens are impressive and very, very sharp. However, the Torch provides enough detail to do anything I want it to do, and when I watched hi-res videos, I was suitably pleased. I didn't have any problems making out text in messages, on web pages or word documents handled via DocsToGo. It's bright, crisp and completely usable for any and all day to day functions.
• The ear jack will accommodate all your previous ear phones and accessories. However, the USB port is now a micro USB port - so all your previous mini USB cables won't fit. That's a bummer, since I like to have charging cables everywhere (office, home, briefcase, car, etc.) and I've had to replenish my stock.
• Speaking of accessories, the Torch is the first BlackBerry I've purchased that didn't come with a belt case. This pissed me off, as I'm a big belt clip holster devotee. I know there's a school of thought that holsters are square and dorky, and that too cool for school hipsters should keep the phone in your pants pocket. I just don't understand that. I have change, and keys, and lighters and other things in my pocket, and I don't A) want the phone - especially a large touchscreen - to get scratched, and B) I don't want to lock and unlock the phone all the damned time so the keys and screen won't get activated by accident in your pocket. A belt holster protects the phone, and even better, puts it into sleep mode to conserve the battery. There's not a wide assortment of cases made especially for the Torch yet, but after some trial and experimentation, I've found that the case for the 8300 Curve series works perfectly. Snug fit, and most importantly, the magnets line up so that the phone does go into sleep mode when it should. You can find them most anywhere, like at Radio Shack.
• This accessory, a charging pod, is spectacular. I bought one for home and one for the office, and it's terrific.
  
• Also, crackberry users come to love their side convenience keys, and alas, the Torch only has one. But after a week of use, and organization of the apps on the home screen, I don't miss the second one as much as I thought I would.

Software

• Wow. OS6 is a huge evolutionary leap from the previous BB operating systems. It's flashier, and different, yet comfortable and familiar, and critically, offers all the functionality a BlackBerry user wants and needs. The menus have been reorganized, and though it takes a bit of getting used to, I have to say that it makes much more sense now. After an orientation period, I now find I know exactly where to go for every setting, and as always with a BB, there are a plethora of customization options. Some users have experienced a bit of screen "lag," but I have to say that I haven't.
• It comes with some AT&T bloatware preinstalled, but all those apps are easily deleted. Or, you can put them into a folder and hide it, too.
• The touchscreen works wonderfully. Quick, fluid and responsive. And I'm still discovering shortcuts (like "swiping" through emails in the message list).
• Device switching was a breeze. I used the new BB Desktop Manager (6.0) to move from the Bold to the Torch, and it didn't lose a thing. All my settings, customizations, data and files moved from one to the other perfectly. And I quickly and easily set it up to synch with my two different PCs and Outlooks. Brilliant.
• You'll hear and read a lot about the browsing experience. Let's face it, the browser on the old BB OS was complete and utter shit. However, there was a lot to be said for the old method of having the web pages stripped of all the blinky, extraneous crap (pop ups, facebook integrations, ads, etc.) and reduced down the bare content. Personally, I appreciated that. The new BB browser is a huge improvement, and offers a wonderful functionality and "text-wrapping" capability that makes reading most "normal" web pages easy to read and navigate.
• Along those lines, I get 90% of my web content via RSS anyway, so the pure browsing experience really isn't a dealbreaker for me. OS6 comes with a couple of built in features for getting those, along with all your social media feeds, in one convenient place. I haven't tested it that much, since I could care less about Facebook and the like, and I prefer single app functionality for Twitter and RSS reading. Ubertwitter works like a charm on the new OS, and the best app I've ever used for RSS feeds is BeReader. It synchs PERFECTLY with your desktop/PC Google Reader, and is well worth the $10 you'll spend on it if you're a hardcore RSS junkie.
• There's a new, "universal search" built into the OS that is fantastic. Just hit the spyglass icon, start typing, and you'll search every single onboard app (music, calendar, documents, contacts, etc.) on the device, plus the web. Very handy.
• Speaking of typing, the onscreen keyboard is okay, I guess. I hate capacitive touch onscreen keyboards, but I've played with a Droid and an iPhone, and the BB one works just as well. It's fine for basic searches and typing a few words, but give me a REAL keyboard for banging out text any day.
• The memory management in the OS is amazing. As BB users know, after a few days of hardcore use, a battery pull (or QuickPull) was almost mandatory to keep the device running smoothly. On my Bold, I would often get down to 10 - 15 MB of memory at the end of the day, and a pull would gin it back up to 35 - 40. Now, running functions full-throttle all day, the Torch hardly moves or experiences any memory leak whatsoever, hanging in around 290 - 300 MB free all the time.
• App compatibility was a mixed bag. Google Mobile was buggy, but since I used it mostly for the Reader synch, and BeReader blows it out of the water and the Universal Search gives me the option to search with Google online, it doesn't really matter. Google Maps works perfectly. As mentioned, the new Ubertwitter is a dream on the Torch. Splash ID works like a charm. AP News works. Documents To Go works well, and the larger screen makes it even more useful. Two key apps I'm still waiting on are Evernote (which just came out with a new, more native version of the app for BB, but hasn't yet made it compatible with OS6) and Kindle (which claims to work with OS6, but I can't figure out how to download and install yet).
• One of the major new enhancements to the new OS is the media experience. Videos look and play great, and the media interface is much improved. But the big news here is the ability to synch -- via USB or via WiFi -- your music library. Mine is in iTunes, and setting it up was intuitive and simple. Using checkboxes, you can set up exactly what you want to synch between device and PC: songs, artists, playlists, albums...you name it. Music and artwork (like album covers) transfer seamlessly. (I've synched thousands of audio files, and they barely take up half of the 16GB card). I even experimented with synching podcasts, which DO move back and forth as they are added and deleted from the library, but my only disappointment is that it doesn't track and remember playback position. I've briefly tried PodTrapper as a separate app, but you have to add the feeds directly in the app itself, rather than synching with what's happening in iTunes. Surely someone will come up with a way to make this happen eventually.

So, that's it in a nutshell. The BlackBerry Torch 9800 is a fantastic device. I don't know that it will convert any fervent Apple or Android cultists, but it's certainly the most functional, fun, capable and well-rounded device ever put out by RIM. I love it.

I'll take potpourri for $7,200, Alex

Time for some links of note:

7 Great Movie Endings Demolished by Test Audiences.

SFX looks at the Top 20 hottest names working in sci-fi now.

Empire looked at the possibilities of fictional bands playing the Glastonbury music festival.

12 great sci-fi speeches. (Note: if you're catching up on Buffy or BSG, beware SPOILERS). Also, they don't like the "Why I hate X-mas" speech in Gremlins? That's brilliant.

I live in one of the best places to live, apparently. I'll remember that when I'm flying "home" to Georgia every weekend in the fall.

8-Bit Trek. I really need this on a t-shirt. So fucking adorable.

Speaking of Trek, here are "14 things you didn't know about Star Trek." (I knew 10).

Paste lists their Top 10 sci-fi and fantasy shows of all time. And also their Top 11 most villainous sci-fi species.

SFX published the results of their Top 200. Lots of great geeky lists there.

It's rare that I agree with Glenn Beck, but yep, he's right. (Bonus points for the Jefferson quote which nicely sums up my political philosophy).

As you know, Torchwood is coming to US TV via Starz. (WooHoo!). And they've got a writing staff that resembles the '27 Yankees.

FINALLY, Coach and Mrs. Coach get a little Emmy love. About damned time. And the actors are just as adorable as you'd think they'd be.

Fun photo mashups: Firefly crew as original Trek, and Mad Men as Trek:TNG.

Digital Decorating

Got the new BlackBerry Torch 9800, and I'm LOVING it. (Review coming later next week). But one issue was that all the wallpapers from my Bold 9000 were rendered useless, because the screen sizes are different. Occasionally, I'll put some abstract patterns up, or a gorgeous photograph that speaks to me, but usually, I just let my geek flag fly and select a wallpaper that makes me smile. I spent a few minutes this afternoon downloading a few that will get me through the first few weeks of a new phone:


With new football and TV seasons coming up, I need to add a few more, but that's a good start, no?

Suggestions and artwork are appreciated, as always.

What I would go see at the movies this weekend

No, it's not a gauzy travelogue of self-discovery with Julia Roberts flitting around Italy and India, but I think this would be MUCH more entertaining:

Torch Me

I had this lengthy blog post composed, where I was going to do some crowdsourcing, asking the blog faithful their opinions on the latest smartphones. I've long been a BlackBerry devotee, back to the days of black and white screens. My contract with AT&T ran out a while ago, and I was basically a "free agent," ready to go to whatever provider offered me the device that best met my needs. I was waiting on the release of the new crackberry, the Torch 9800, so I could compare it with the latest iPhone and Droid.

Well, the Torch was announced to the world this week, and will be released into the wild next week. It met with mixed reviews, which basically boiled down to "underwhelming screen compared to the competition, great and solid hardware like you'd expect, not as many apps available as the competition, and it does all the things you love about a BlackBerry, and does them even better."

I wrote up my criteria for a new device, and in the process of drafting that blog post and doing some basic research about the competitors, I think my decision was made for me. Basically, it came down to this:

• I'm really happy with my Bold 9000.
• I know the BlackBerry inside and out, and I'm comfortable with how it works.
• I don't mind a touchscreen for some functions, but I want and need a REAL keyboard. Nobody makes keyboards like BlackBerry.
• I know a lot of people, particularly iPhone users, bitch about AT&T. But I've never had a single dropped call nor any problems with them.
• I don't need 60,000 apps. My phone already does most everything I need it to do.
• The iPhone just isn't functional or flexible enough to serve my day to day business needs, and the Droid is too tied into the Google cloud to make synchronization a smooth and calming event.
• The crackberry is the only platform that seamlessly synchronizes with my two different PCs and their desktop Outlook installations, which is of critical importance to me so I can have all my information up to date and at hand, no matter where I am.
• The Torch offers more of everything I already love, ups the capabilities of the hardware across the board (camera, memory, touchscreen, etc.), adds wireless iTunes sync, and significantly improves the only downside of the BlackBerry - the browsing experience.
• Plus, I already have the most useful apps (Docs To Go and Splash ID) installed across multiple platforms, and all the requisite accessories (headphones, bluetooths, cords, holsters, etc.). Why switch?

So, instead of publicly wrangling with a decision, I'm just making one. Torch Me.

I'll report back later with a full review, once I get the thing in my hot little hands and take it for a full test drive.

Okay, I'll tune in now.

Everyone has those actors that just grate on you. They may be talented. They may appear in shows you like and watch regularly. They may be a terrific person in real life. But for whatever reason, whenever they appear on the screen, they instantly make you want to change the channel.

For me, one of those actors is Eric Balfour.

He's been in programs that I like, such as Buffy, 24 and Six Feet Under. But there's just something about him, and his performances, that rubs me the wrong way.

So I was mildly aware of a new show coming up on SyFy called Haven, based on a Stephen King short story. In fact, I had it on my list of Summer TV Shows to Check Out. I hadn't heard any casting information on it, and last night, I was watching the season premiere of Warehouse 13 (great fun!), and saw a commercial for it. They showed the primary stars of the program, and lo and behold, there he was...Eric Balfour. I then tweeted this:


I was going to come home tonight and remove my season pass for Haven, and then this popped up on my twitter feed:


Now, this isn't a verified account, but at first glance, it appears authentic. I couldn't help but giggle at his response, and self-effacing good humor.

So you know what? I will not be deleting my Haven season pass. You've earned yourself a tune-in, Mr. Balfour, and a viewing with an open mind. Best of luck with the show.

I'll take potpourri for $7,100, Alex

Time for a linky roundup, y'all.

Great piece about the trailers for the new Star Wars games. I'm not much of a gamer today, but I would certainly watch a film or show developed by the people behind the creation of these trailers and games (and really, watch 'em in HD/Widescreen).

In honor of World Cup coverage, the 10 Most Annoying Sounds. Two of my personal annoyances not on the list: children in any way, shape or form, and the sound from when someone rubs their fingers across a fold of paper. That last one happens all the time in office environments, and makes me cringe, then makes me stabby.

Anyone else get caught up watching the Buffy marathon of Top 30 Viewer's Choice Best Episodes on Sunday? I did. If you're curious, here's the whole list. Not bad choices, and I think there are still a LOT of Spike fans out there.

Speaking of the Buffster, here's where you can find Whedonverse writers on your tube.

And one more: someone else joins the cult (Unreality). It's also fun reading "new to me" writeups on the Buffyverse from Cultural Learnings, and the AV Club.

You tell 'em, Stephen.

22 Fictional Characters Whose Names You Don't Know. (What does it say about me that I knew over half?)

What's a good foundation for law and government?

Dennis the Peasant: Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

Arthur: Be quiet!

Dennis the Peasant: You can't expect to wield supreme power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!

Neither is talking, flaming shrubbery.

Absolutely adorable video of new Doctor (Matt Smith) and Companion (Karen Gillan) interviewing each other.

Dawgs fans could have told Cowboys fans this type of thing was coming.

Good thing Lady Gaga didn't go see Dr. Gregory House, because it's NEVER that.

Please (insert deity here), make this happen.

I lost my passion for American Idol this season, and Simon leaving certainly won't help rekindle it next year. But #3 on this list might do the trick.

Summer TV

The "official" television season ended a couple of weeks ago, though a couple of series wrap up their runs tonight, FX's brilliant Justified and FOX's Glee.

And that brings us to the fluffy "summer season." In the past, the major broadcast networks virtually abandoned the summer, airing reruns and reality excrement, while the cable nets used this as an opportunity to gain a foothold with original programming. That hasn't changed dramatically, although a few of the big guys are trotting out scripted series.

Here are a few shows I'll be checking out this summer:

Lie To Me. This kicked off last night with a terrific episode, showcasing Veronica Mars star Jason Dohring as a psychopath matching wits with Tim Roth's Cal Lightman.

The Good Guys. 80's (or 70s?) cop show throwback, from the creator of Burn Notice, and starring Bradley Whitford's mustache.

Persons Unknown. Added it to the DVR last night, knowing virtually nothing about it, other than it comes from the writer of the Usual Suspects.

Weeds. The show went off the rails a few seasons ago, but Kevin Nealon, and particularly Justin Kirk, are hilarious, and Mary Louise Parker is hot.

Warehouse 13. What a delightful surprise this was last season. Kind of a mashup of the X-Files and the old Friday the 13th television series, this follows a pair of government agents who track down mystical artifacts. The cast has great chemistry, and the show is a lot of fun.

White Collar. The master plot got a little muddled during its first season, but the show is perfectly representative of USA's strategy: engaging, character-driven popcorn.

Covert Affairs. Another USA entry, with Piper Perabo as a entry level spy. Maybe it's like a high-calorie La Femme Nikita?

Rescue Me. I've stuck with Rescue Me through thick and thin, and last year it seemed to rebound after threatening to bottom out like FX's other one-time showcase, Nip/Tuck. Please bring the funny, 62 Truck .

Happy Town. The first few eps were confusing, incoherent and aiming for a quirky tone it didn't quite hit, and this is just a series burn-off at this point. But...Amy Acker.

Psych. The very definition of summer cotton-candy fare.

Futurama. Hells Yeah! Back from the grave, and returning to Comedy Central with all new episodes!

Burn Notice. Another show where the master plots kind of lost their way.

Doctor Who. Not exactly a summer series, since we're midway through the first season of Matt Smith's Doctor. But the show seems more tightly arc-ed with Stephen Moffat running things, and Karen Gillan's Amy Pond is already my favorite companion.

Being Human. This BBCA offering is about a werewolf, a vampire and a ghost living in a flat in England. Not quite to Buffy, or even Supernatural, levels, but quite engaging.

Scoundrels. The first of ABC's summer series airing on Sundays (which is suddenly a crowded night for original scripted programming), it seems like Desperate Housewives with criminals. And....Virginia Madsen!

The Gates. The second of ABC's summer series airing on Sundays, it seems like Desperate Housewives with vampires. And....Rhona Mitra!

True Blood. I think we already know how I feel about this one.

Hung. This never got the buzz of some of HBO's other offerings, despite being about a newbie male escort with a huge schlong, but it was well done, and a bleakly funny and melancholy look at desperation, loneliness and the economic downturn. (sounds like fun, huh?) And I love Jane Adams.

Entourage. At this point, I'm not even sure why I still watch. I really don't like any of the characters, and the limited plot variations seem completely played out.

Leverage. Ocean's 11 style capers on the small screen every week, carried out by an engaging cast. Seems like this should be on USA, but it's definitely worth a watch. Lots of fun, and one of the many, many shows featuring Mark Sheppard as a recurring character (which is a good thing).

Memphis Beat. Another TNT show, this one with Jason Lee as an Elvis-impersonating cop. That alone merits checking out the pilot.

Haven. Syfy show, based on a Stephen King story, that sounds a lot like a supernatural Eureka.

Eureka. Speaking of which, this charming Syfy show returns for its 4th season.

Mad Men. The Best Show on TV comes back for its 4th season also. Here's hoping for less Betty Draper, and more lawnmowers in the ad agency. And who doesn't love Roger Sterling? And...Christina Hendricks.

10 Things That Make Me Happy

Tag! I'm it!

Yesterday, one of my "virtual friends" that I know from twitter (@LaJollaJennifer) and blogdom (The World According to Jennifer) tagged me with a list meme. The list to be generated was "10 Things That Make Me Happy." (You can see Jennifer's list here).

This is probably not an opportune time to try to conjure such a list, as I just came off of 4 days of soul-crushing moving, mass chaos, uncooperative vendors, backbreaking labor, technical snafus, automotive failure and staggering bills related to all the former. Not to mention complicated work "opportunities" piling up like horny moms outside a midnight showing of a Twilight movie. Plus, even without an avalanche of clusterfucks rolling downhill, and given my caustic, cynical nature, I really don't know that there are 10 total things that make me happy. (Can I just list all the episodes of Firefly and call it a day?)

Still, I can hardly resist a chance to make a list, so here's my take:

1. The Kids. No, not the mewling, squawling, shitting, writing-on-the-walls-in-crayon, bank-draining burdens that haunt you for two-plus decades. These kids:

2. Whiskey. Need I say more?

3. Coffee. And cigarettes. Honest to Thor, the best single part of every day, no matter my location, situation or emotional state, is waking up to a big-ass pot of freshly brewed coffee and enjoying a smoky treat while firing up google reader and catching up on the news and ephemera of the day.

4. Television. When I was a kid, I looked forward to TV Guide's Fall Preview Issue like other kids looked forward to the Sears Wishbook. I've always loved TV. One of my true regrets in life is that I didn't take my degree in Journalism (with a double minor in English and Drama) from one of the finest purveyors of such teachings in the country (and home of the Peabody) and turn it into a career in TV writing behind the camera, as a screenwriter, or on the other side of the tube, as a television critic. Songs are short bursts of emotion. Movies are a two hour story, over almost before they begin. Books are leisurely narratives that can be picked up and put down. At its best, TV is a medium that totally envelops you in a rich tapestry of a world, filled with interesting and ever changing characters, has a driving and evolving narrative, enriches most of the senses (with moving scores, provocative images, crisp dialogue, etc) and keeps you there for hours and hours upon end. TV is my deity, and I am its disciple.

5. HD. Given my #4, I can't believe I waited as long as I did to make the switch. Partly, it was my brand loyalty to TiVo, but once you get it, you can't fathom that you ever lived without it.

6. My BlackBerry. Although I'm eagerly anticipating getting a new model (I watched a 16 minute Japanese language sneak peek of the 9800 this weekend on some Asian YouTube equivalent, like it was illicit porn), the thought of being without my Berry for even a few minutes gives me the shakes. Everything I need to know, and everything I could want to know, is right there in the palm of my hand. Real keys to type on and perfect synchronization with multiple computers across multiple platforms and in the cloud, it's really the perfect device for me. How the fuck did we live before them?

7. My DVR. Also related to #4 and #5, this is probably the most life-changing and fulfilling device ever invented (short of the computer and the internet. And the wheel. And maybe fire). Watch what you want, when you want, and never miss a thing (unless you have a Comcast version, and it consistently jackhammers you like a prison rapist with its incompetence).

8. French Fries. Short. Long. Thin. Thick. Crinkle. Wedge. Waffle. Steak. Drizzled with cheese. Dipped in ketchup. Covered in salt. Topped with chili and bacon. I have yet to meet a fry I don't love.

9. Organization. Both my parents were OCD, and it must be both genetic and learned, because I always remembered the parental mantra "everything has a place, and everything in its place." Though this past few days was filled with unspeakable chaos and horror, there was no better feeling than settling down Sunday night knowing that every single item in my home had found its way to a logical resting place, properly identified, organized and labeled. I never would have survived this long without having a nervous breakdown if I wasn't a compulsive list-maker and organizer, and almost nothing makes me happier than knowing where everything is, what's going on, and that it's all under control. I've had some people wonder if this type of personality disorder is confining, and I couldn't disagree more. Once you commit to it, it's actually freeing and liberating, because you never have to worry about the little things - you can free your mind up for flights of fancy and bouts of intellectual spontaneity. I've never missed a bill. I've never lost a wallet or keys (or really, anything). I've never looked for something that I couldn't find. I've never run out of any household staples, nor had to make unscheduled trips to the store. Never wanted to wear something that wasn't washed and hung in its place or not yet picked up from the dry cleaner. File folders, labels, sharpies, color coding, spreadsheets, lists, containers, notes, plastic containers....these are the brushes with which I create OCD art.

10. The Dawgs. Hey, we're less than 90 days away. What else would I say?

Jeez, reading back over this list, you would think I'm some kind of neurotic whackjob, sitting around alone with his cats all the time drinking, smoking, list-making, surfing the intertubes and watching TV. Oh....wait.

Aiiiight, here's the deal, bitches.

True Blood is returning soon, and I, for one, can't wait.

Now, would I call True Blood a great show? No, not at all. The writing is all over the place, some of the performances miss the mark, the metaphors are about as subtle as a frying pan to the face, and the tone is wildly inconsistent. But ya know what? The show is damned FUN. Southern Gothic trappings, deep fried 'til crispy. Enough sex appeal to satisfy every inclination under (or out of) the sun. Melodrama, cheese and over the top outrageousness played like it was opening night at the Royal Shakespeare Company manned by all the drunken understudies. And one of the best theme songs / opening credits in the business. Oh, and vampires. And werewolves. And shapeshifters. And faeries. And the brilliant, dim-bulb wisdom of Jason Stackhouse.

If you've forgotten what's been going on in Bon Temps, here's a little reminder, narrated by everyone's favorite flamboyant fry cook, Lafayette:

How "The End" of Lost could have been more satisfying for me

First things first: I thoughts "The End" was a fitting wrap up to the Lost story. I was moved. I was thrilled. I was happy the characters I'd come to know over the past six years found some resolution. It was sweeping, cinematic and brilliantly crafted. I appreciated the "art" of it, and I'm glad that Damon and Carlton got to tell the story they wanted to tell, in the way they wanted to tell it.

Ending a show, particularly one as intricate and mythology-tangled as Lost, is hard. You're never going to please everyone, and it would have been impossible to wrap up every single mystery that the show put out there.

That said, there were things about the finale, and season six in particular, that just didn't work for me. I'll get into those in a moment, but first let's all agree on what actually happened. "The End" left some things open for interpretation, and ABC's decision to show some plane wreckage over the credits (NOT part of the story Damon and Carlton were telling) was confusing for some. Here's my take on what happened:

• Everything that happened on the island was real. The Losties didn't die when Oceanic 815 crashed on the island. They were tormented by The Others and the Smoke Monster. They left the island, were rescued by Penny's boat, and returned to civilization, only to go back to the island later on Ajira 316.
• The detonation of Jughead didn't sink the island. While it's possible that this detonation may have had other side effects (causing infertility?), the only thing we know for sure is that this "incident" transported the primary characters through time, from 1977 to the island present.
• All the flashbacks and flashforwards from seasons 1 - 5 were real. They happened.
• The defeat of the Smoke Monster was real. Jack and Kate killed him.
• Lapidus, Miles, Richard (now aging normally), Kate, Sawyer and Claire left the island on the restarted (thanks, duct tape!) Ajira 316.
• Hurley, now the island's protector (a job Jacob, and Jack briefly, had), stayed on the island, along with his "number two," Ben. Desmond also remained on the island, but it was strongly suggested that somehow Hurley and Ben would return him to Penny and his son Charlie, off the island.
• Jack saw his friends leave on Ajira 316, and died in the bamboo grove, with Vincent by his side.

All those events are fairly indisputable and straightforward. Also:

• All the events we saw in season six described as "flash-sideways" were NOT real - insofar as tangibly occurring in the world we live in, and the world where the events described above happened.
• These events happened in an alternate reality. It's not, I don't believe, an alternate reality like on Fringe, that's always existed and run parallel to our own, in a very "real" and "tangible" way (with people able to "cross over" and physically exist in our world with their "duplicates"). It's a reality that could be described as a "limbo" - a place between real existence (which is brought to a close by death) and whatever exists beyond death (where souls eventually go, a place that some might call "heaven"). The flash-sideways world is like a waystation, or stopover existence, where the "souls" sort out the issues they faced in the real world, before moving on to the next plane of existence. Some souls in this limbo are "enlightened," meaning they are aware of what they are and where they are. Others are not, and think that this is their only reality -- that is, that this "sideways" world is the only world which exists.
• The parts of this sideways world that we, as viewers, see, was "created" by the "souls," or "consciousnesses," of our primary characters. It was created as a place for these characters to get together one last time before moving on to the afterlife. Jack was the last of our castaways to become enlightened, and it's suggested that many of the actions depicted in the sideways timeline occurred to help him come to terms with this sideways world, and move on together with his island friends, into a more peaceful and aware afterlife.
• This limbo occurs outside of time and space. Meaning, Jack died on the island in 2007. John Locke died before Jack (strangled to death by Ben in a motel room). Hurley died sometime long after Jack (presumably after protecting the island for some indeterminate time). Yet their "souls" met in this limbo as if they all existed in the same time frame.

I think that's what happened, right?

And it worked as a storytelling conceit, particularly when the finale of the show was as emotional and as professionally assembled as "The End" was. But after thinking about the finale, and season six as a whole, it just didn't hang together as well as it could for me personally. As I mentioned in my initial thoughts on the finale, the religious aspects of the story were a little too on the nose for me. For example, did the last 20 minutes really have to take place in a church? With pews and a pulpit and (multi-denominational) stained glass? I understand that Jack had to discover the empty coffin of his father as a final "triggering event" in the sideways reality, and that coffins usually wind up in a church for a funeral service. But it would have pleased me more to have Jack discover the empty coffin in the church, have his chat with dear old dead dad, and then walk into the The Lamp Post - the Dharma station built in Los Angeles (beneath the church) - to find his afterlife friends. It would have tied more directly to the mysteries of the island, where the bonds of these people were formed, and given the conclusion more of a sci-fi spin, rather than an ideological or religious one. But my issues with cults aside, there were more problems with the wrap up to one of TV's all-time great shows.

Too many plot threads were left dangling. No, we were never going to get the "answers" to every single mystery the show posed. And that's fine. Some were just part of the process of organically developing a story over six season of a TV show, and creating tension along the way. But some were too intrinsically tied to the core of the show's story engine to be completely ignored. Like the conflict between Charles Widmore, Eloise Hawking and Ben Linus. What were their oft-referenced "rules?" What were the goals of each character, and their organizations? What was going on with the "cabin" and the "ash?" What was up with ALL of Christian Sheppard's appearances (the explanation that it was the Smoke Monster every single time doesn't really hold up to scrutiny).

So how could Season Six have worked better for me? Here are a few ways:

• Far less time spent in the sideways world. Even if you don't change the nature of the sideways world, we didn't need to spend that much time there over the course of the season. You could have cut down the overall time spent there by 50%, and gotten the exact same character beats and sense of mystery.
• Or, if you tweak the trappings of the sideways world, and have it hang together with a more consistent internal logic. For example, knowing what we know now (that is was a "limbo" created by the main characters to reconnect one more time), why does the island have to be underwater? Isn't it enough that Oceanic 815 didn't crash on the island? And this image was shown only to us, as viewers, so its primary function was simply to mislead and provide red herrings about the nature of the sideways world, therefore it seems like a bit of a narrative cheat, in my opinion. Or, to be more clear and precise about what happens in the sideways. As in "yes, it was a place where the primary characters would reunite to "pass on" together, but only after they had worked through the significant issues that troubled them in real life." They kinda did this (Jack understanding fatherhood from both sides of the equation, Sawyer not letting vengeance lead him down the wrong paths, Sun & Jin not letting her father's controlling creepitude ruin their lives and relationship, Ben valuing integrity and honor over power and control, etc.) but not always (what exactly did Kate "work through?" Locke's and Sayid's stories were interesting, but their sideways scenarios didn't exactly connect the dots from A to Z as clearly as they could have, and as logically as did other sideways adventures).
• Spend less time with the Temple folks, or make more of the time we spent there. Everyone talked in riddles, yet communicated virtually nothing. I think this was a big missed opportunity. Here in this setting, they had a great chance to lay out some of the show's mythology. I'm generally a fan of "show, don't tell," but did anyone truly understand what the hell was going on with Sayid's resurrection and infection? Claire's "infection?" How this tied specifically to the water/light/Source/"Heart of the Island"? The way that the temple people got instructions from Jacob, and their loyalty to him? The "rules" they operated under? The importance of the ash? How The Others were related to the Temple people? Dogen and Lennon could have been a tremendous source for dumping exposition in an interesting way (through conversations with Jack, or looking over wall hieroglyphics with Hurley and having him be, as always, the voice of the fans), and yet they eschewed this for a lot of mumbo jumbo and wheel (non-donkey variety) spinning, only made somewhat palatable by Smokey's harrowing and eerie final assault.
• If we spend less time with the sideways world, and less time in the Temple, then what do we fill that with? Personally, I would have wanted more off-island time with Charles Widmore (and probably Eloise Hawking). Real time, flashbacks...whatever. They could have used a few scenes with them to better explain the motivations of both characters. We could have understood how "The Others" worked off island. How they were related to, and pitted against, Dharma. And what the "rules" were between Ben and Charles, and where they came from.
• Wouldn't it have felt more tidy if we knew "how" the sideways world was created, and what Desmond's role in it was? For example, why not clearly state that this "reality" was indeed created by Hurley, using his new powers and gifts as the island's protector, as a way to help his friends move on and reconnect (and deal with their "real life" issues)? You would have an explanation for how it came to exist, and one that needn't be explained too deeply (Hurley had "magic powers," just like Jacob did). And, why not state that Desmond was the "failsafe" in this sideways reality? He was acting in such a fashion anyway. Hurley would create this world for his friends, but just in case they didn't find "enlightenment" on their own (Hurley could create the sideways world, but not necessarily move the players around like game pieces - they still had to have character agency, even here), Desmond would be there, using his "specialness" to act as a catalyst to keep things moving for them, helping all the Losties get to the spiritual place they needed to be. This would give Des a more logical reason for acting as he did, and it fits with what we know of the island aftermath (Des was on the island as Hurley, and Ben, began to figure out how to preside over the island in a more benevolent fashion than Jacob, so the plan could have easily been hatched then). It is consistent with Hurley's character, and also deepens Desmond's character, and in a way, even gives him some closure too, as it was his actions that brought down 815 in the first place. Plus, the descriptions of Desmond as a "failsafe" would have greater resonance in the mythology and for the characters we know and love.

Those are just a few ideas. In the end (and in "The End"), I'm still very, very satisfied with where the show wound up, and the journeys the characters took. I just like a little more logic and cohesion to my plot resolutions, to go along with the immense emotional gratification. Lost is a genre-hopping television achievement, the likes of which we may never see again, and I'm grateful for the chance to experience it.

So until we get a James Ford / Miles Straume detective show, namaste, y'all.