Aiiiight, here's the deal, bitches.

True Blood is returning soon, and I, for one, can't wait.

Now, would I call True Blood a great show? No, not at all. The writing is all over the place, some of the performances miss the mark, the metaphors are about as subtle as a frying pan to the face, and the tone is wildly inconsistent. But ya know what? The show is damned FUN. Southern Gothic trappings, deep fried 'til crispy. Enough sex appeal to satisfy every inclination under (or out of) the sun. Melodrama, cheese and over the top outrageousness played like it was opening night at the Royal Shakespeare Company manned by all the drunken understudies. And one of the best theme songs / opening credits in the business. Oh, and vampires. And werewolves. And shapeshifters. And faeries. And the brilliant, dim-bulb wisdom of Jason Stackhouse.

If you've forgotten what's been going on in Bon Temps, here's a little reminder, narrated by everyone's favorite flamboyant fry cook, Lafayette: