Cocktail Party virtually live blog: Second Quarter

Second Quarter.

Awful decision by Stafford. Okay, he’s thrown two passes. And there have been two TDs. The bad news is that one of those was by the Gators. Off the back foot (again), and even his arm couldn’t get the ball to the lone receiver in the pattern while falling back and getting hit. And just like that, Old Lady Luck (tm Munson) gives you the clap in a Motel 6 outside of Jacksonville.

Back to Knowshon.

Beautiful pass from 7 to 24. first down.

Every Stafford pass has been caught by someone.

3^rd and long.

Stafford takes off on a run. Nope.

56 yard attempt by Coutu.

Just a horrible attempt. What the hell was that? That reminded me of three drunks trying to kick field goals at Disney’s Wide World of Sports a few years ago after a night on Pleasure Island. (I assume Coutu didn’t almost get run over by a cab). Richt was trying to call a timeout, but no one heard him. The “mo” is just slipping away.

How fucking open was 11? There was not a white shirt around him! Tebow throws a wobbly, ugly ball, but he’s 5 for 5.

Can’t they let Moore handle the ball again?

They split Tebow out again, but Pope Urban calls a TO.

Another commercial break. I can’t decide if “Fred Claus” is going to be funny as hell or a complete train wreck.

Rusher right in the face of Tebow. Incomplete.

Shovel pass. Nothing.

3^rd and 9. Tebow sacked again! What has gotten to us? Certainly can’t argue with Willie’s attack thus far.

Field goal. No celebration or flags. Unusual. All things considered, not too bad. 17-14 Jorts.

Sonic commercial. Steak, bacon, egg and cheese burrito. Am I drunk, or does that sound really fucking good?

Commercial for the Geico halftime report. I hear Tebow invented gekkos. And cavemen.

Aflac trivia question. Single wing QB won the Heisman? Would Sinkwich count? Surely it couldn’t be Spurrier. It always has something to do with the teams playing.

Direct snap to 24, with 7 out wide. Of course, Tebow invented that, too.

Knowshon first down. So glad we have a few more years of him.

Stafford throws one away. That was actually a good overthrow.

Huge fucking pass from 7 to Bailey. Another rope, right on the money. And more importantly, caught.

Stafford runs for the first down. Of course, he’s just emulating the originator of the QB draw, Tim Tebow, but that was effective.

Flag. What the hell? Gators jumping over the line? No line infraction, but personal foul. We’ll take that. Of course, the Gator WAS in the neutral zone, just like a Romulan.

Another flag. Against us. False start.

1^st and goal from the 9. QB draw. Nothing.

Nice cutback from 24, making something out of nothing! TD UGA! Dude is special. We’ve answered the bell. I can’t believe I’m watching a Cocktail Party. Why are they reviewing this? TD of course. 21-17 good guys.

Aflac answer? Sinkwich. Damn, I’m good. 1942 Heisman winner.

Sweet tackle for loss. Freebird just said Willie would get the boys in a prevent and give up a TD before halftime. Holy thrown visor, Batman, we sure are conditioned for failure aren’t we? 15 of 17 will leave bruises on you like a trailer park stripper.

3 seconds left and we have the ball. Bomb or kneel down? I’m thinking kneel down, take the lead into the half. Yep.

21-17 at half. Richt “fesses up” to dimwit Tracy Wolfson. “I told ‘em if they didn’t get a celebration penalty after the first score, I was gonna be mad at ‘em.”

Good lord. Could we really be winning this thing?

Halftime.

Hey, it’s Toby Keith for Ford Truck Month! I heard Tebow invented the Model-T (why do you think it was named that, after all) and country music.