I'm here. Barely.

I'm here. I'm alive. Quick thoughts:

I never, ever want to pull a trailer or U-Haul of any kind, ever again. Entering a parking lot of any kind resulted in something closely resembling that scene in Austin Powers when he was turning the golf cart around in the narrow hallway. I'm used to driving 80 - 90 MPH in the left lane, whipping in and out of traffic like Tony Stewart. Yesterday? Glued to the right hand land like a fucking grandmother, and feeling my dignity slowly ebb as faux wood paneled mini-vans passed me like I was in reverse. And just for kicks, every 10 minutes or so, the U-Haul trailer decided to veer left and right for no reason at all like the back of a runaway fire truck, putting me on a slalom course in my tiny right lane. Overall, with numerous bladder breaks, what Google told me should be an 11 hour trip (and I always beat those estimates by at least 15%) took me 14 and a half.

Radio in the Carolinas seems to be limited to country music and 158 stations all praising Jesus.

Speaking of radio, in scanning the channels I noticed that American Idol alums are very popular. I can't count the number of times I heard Daughtry, Carrie Underwood and Kelly Clarkson's new song, "Walkaway." (Which I really like. Of course, I also liked "Never Again." I don't know what Clive Davis was bitching about).

The cats handled the trip relatively well. Oddly, skittish Willow adapted better than old pro Mulder. He growled and meowed nonstop until deep into the Carolinas. He finally settled down, but every time I opened a window, he started up again. Guess he didn't like the draft. Or he wanted a ciggie, too.

The interstate road conditions in the Carolinas suck, and made my drive feel like an epileptic on a freeway comprised entirely of logs and gravel. Guess all the free money in the state goes to building another radio tower to convert the heretics.

No major moving damage that I can find. (detailed inspection pending) Important? Cats are well. Wine and booze bottles didn't break. And as you can tell from this post, the PC and such arrived in fine shape.

I've slept 5 hours in the past 2 days.

I think investing in a GPS is definitely in my future.

With all the (shudder) manual labor, my hands look I've just come from a MMA fight with Ben Grimm.

Day one without Tivo makes me weep. Good thing I haven't unpacked the razor blades yet.

The temporary living conditions (supposedly one of the nicest in the area) remind me an awful lot of my very first apartment on Windy Hill (except Chip's shit isn't strewn all over the furniture). And even thought I packed (by my standards) lightly, I think I'll be using my golf clubs as standing decorations and looking at unpacked liquor boxes for a few months. I feel like I'm living in my old closet.

All the strangers I've met thus far are particularly nice. One retired cop who was helping his daughter move in spent 30 minutes with me last night helping me turn around and park the frakkin' trailer in a parking deck.

There was supposed to be a DVR with the cable, but it's MIA. Even so, cable menus, program grids and "on demand" look like DOS when compared to the Lord My God, Tivo and DirecTV.

Okay, time to unpack and organize. Stiff drinks required.