Friday, March 19, 2010

URL: Things I Just Don't Get

"URL" stands for Utterly Random List, where I will present a series of items, without detailed explanations, on a single topic. Today's topic:

Things I Just Don't Get

Pee Wee Herman
Heavy beers like Guinness
Non-competitive reality shows
Fruit in a dessert
Sean Hannity
Decaffeinated coffee
Adam Sandler comedies
Menthol cigarettes
Colin Cowherd
Adding a baby to a TV show
Egg salad
Message board posters who still insist on doing the "first!" thing
The 3 Stooges
Men wearing sandals
Howard Stern
Using expensive vodka in bloody marys
Casting Eric Balfour in your TV show


  1. There are several items on your "Things I don't get list" that would fit on my "Things I can't stand list" (Colin Cowherd, 3 Stooges and Sean Hannity immediately come to mind. I think this means you are more tolerant than I.

    I don't get why: Anyone would over the age of 21 would willingly drink Jagermeister. Cabs in NYC go on break right around dinner time. 16-year-olds are allowed to drive.

  2. I feel like I should turn in my "man card" with the Stooges thing, but I just don't laugh. I'd much rather watch a Woody Allen or Coen Brothers movie for giggles, or listen to a Patton Oswalt or Bill Hicks comedy routine.

    Have you ever tried to watch that SportsNation show with Cowherd and Michelle Beadle? I've caught it a few times and if possible, he's even more insufferable on TV than he is on the radio. Which is a shame, because she's 100% adorable, and looks like an alternate universe version of Cameron Diaz, only not vapid and irritating.

    I am SO with you on Jager. I gave it my best shot (so to speak), and it always remained horrifically unpleasant. And I like other noxious, potent shots like tequila. Maybe it's because I find licorice disgusting?

  3. I think you should get a bigger man card for admitting that you don't find the Stooges funny. They aren't.

    I have watched all of two seconds of the SportsNation show. I didn't even realize that is what it is called--that's how little I watched. I can't stand Colin Cowherd. Everything about him annoys me. I listen to ESPN radio quite a bit and hate it when I have to be in the car during his show.

    I haven't had a shot of Jagermeister since college but if memory serves, it is basically a XXX version of NyQuil. Nasty. But back in the day it was a very inexpensive way to get a serious buzz. One shot is all it took.

  4. I'm right there with you on most of this list except Hockey. I'll grant you might have to have grown up playing and/or watching it.
    I was also raised on the Three Stooges. While I no longer find it funny, I have nostalgic good memories about them.
    Pee Wee Herman IS funny if you are high IMHO.

  5. You're exactly right about Hockey. Never exposed to it, really, until well after college. I had good times at Thrashers games and Sabres games, and "admire" it without "getting" it. I don't understand all the rules, all the history and all the nuances, so the appeal just eludes me. I'm sure many folks feel the same about Nascar, which is probably 5th or 6th on my sports list. My parents were really into racing, and as a kid, I grew up listening to races on the radio, and going to short tracks every Friday and Saturday night. If you don't "get it," it's probably just a bunch of rednecks turning left. To a certain degree, I guess it's nurture vs. nature.

    With the Stooges, I do remember watching them with my dad, but I much more enjoyed Martin & Lewis or Abbot & Costello (and Bob Newhart comedy albums).

    And dude, I've TRIED to find an herbal appreciation for Pee Wee, but it just wasn't there for me. I'm always wondering why can't we put in Airplane! or Animal House and actually laugh. :)