Saturday, August 23, 2008

Saturday Morning Dawg Bites

5 reasons why the Dawgs will win it all this year. Frankly, about the only decent response to the murderous schedule is "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

We're number 19!

Hopefully, the Dawgs won't be on this list next year. (Though the last game for the coach referenced in #5 still makes my blood boil).

Best line in this post:
No more College GameDay road trips to Tallahassee for you, Lee. Then again, since Mark Richt went to Georgia and took all the brains with him, there hasn’t been much call for it.
The AJC's Mark Bradley ranks obnoxious SEC fans. Westerdawg responds. My take? Kentucky, Vandy, and the Mississippis don't really move the needle. Bama fans have a lot of history to crow about, but their allegiance to the snake-oil messiah will start to grate quickly. Maybe it's the interrelated history and connections between Auburn and UGA, but I don't think I quite hate them or find them obnoxious as much now as I did as an undergrad. Chicken fans have the highest (or lowest, depending on how you look at it) ratio of "smack talking obnoxiousness" to "actual football achievement." And taking pride in the increasingly impotent Darth Visor certainly adds to that. But you know what? I actually admire their tenacity and loyalty and support, especially considering what a dismal and laugh-inducing history of mediocrity they have. When I made my only visit to Hogland, I found the Arkansas fans passionate and not all that confrontational. I guess they're only truly obnoxious if you're Mitch Mustain's mom or Houston Nutt's cell phone provider. That leaves us with a top 4:

4. UGA. Yeah, we're passionate and unruly, and do tend to bark and get quite drunk for the games. (In fact, how many other schools have a song distinctly about "drunk obnoxious" fans? "Nothing finer in the land" indeed). And some of the fringe elements of obnoxiousness turn out to be the fans who actually never received a diploma from the school. But all things considered, I think we're behind the Top 3.

3. Really, you can split hairs here. But I'd have to go with LSU at 3. (Knowing that several of my buddies, particular Dr. and Miz M, would put them at #1 with a bullet based on their personal experiences). I've known a few of the hard-drinking cajuns, and they seemed like alright folks. And in my SEC Championship and 'tween the hedges encounters, they were batshit crazy. But I admire the fact that they start partying first thing in the morning and last until and through regular night games at Death Valley. Gotta earn some respect for that.

2. Florida. Yep, you could easily put them at number one, especially since they seem to take on the personas and unctuous smugness of their eminently hatable head coaches. And of course, there's always this: JORTS.

1. But I have to go with the roadside trash pickup color wearing, inbred morons from Tennessee. Their humorless coach. Their humorless fans. The tiny seats in the stadium that they all try to pack their fat asses in. That checkerboard end zone. That fucking song. And that fucking color.

A "Hater's Guide to the Top 25." If the worst you can say is that REM and the B-52s came from there, and we worship a "topiary," then I think it's okay.

And finally, a (signed!) preview of next week's activities.

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