Two hunters are out hunting. One of them falls over and seems not to be breathing. His friend calls 911 and cries, “What do I do?” “Well, first, let’s make sure he’s dead,” says the operator. There is silence, and then a shot rings out. The hunter returns to the phone and says, “Okay, now what?”Is McCain in good shape? Or bad shape? Politically, that is. Physically, after seven decades and torture, I think he's probably in better shape than I am after four.
A webchat with Guillermo del Toro and Peter Jackson about the two upcoming Hobbit movies. I'm not as much a fan of that book as I am the trilogy, because it's more of a children's story, but it's nice to hear people excited and passionate about the material.
This sounds like a great book that I should add to my Amazon wish list.
All three trailers for the classic Indiana Jones movies. And I have mixed feelings watching the one for Last Crusade. I went to see that movie in the theatre with a friend's girlfriend (at his suggestion) and what started out like a platonic lark, soon turned into something far more complicated and painful for everyone involved. Still, I don't blame Dr. Jones.
While I'm doing my morning java, smokes, blogging and surfing, I frequently listen to iTunes or XM radio online. On the 80s channel, I just heard Paula Abdul's "Opposites Attract." I wondered just who the hell "MC Scat Cat" was in real life, so I turned to wikipedia. Guess what? It was a duo called "The Wild Pair." Another interesting bit of trivia: this video was directed by one of my favorite film auteurs, David Fincher. Who knew that? At that link, there's a long list of other music videos he directed. I guess Paula's work with a repetitive cartoon was early career training for her future sitting next to Randy Jackson.
I was flipping channels last night and came across the movie bastardization of Alan Moore's The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. In an otherwise dreary film, I did like two changes the flick made: Tom Sawyer as an American secret service agent, and Peta Wilson's Mina Harker as an actual vampire. And why doesn't Peta Wilson get more roles? I just love her.
A funny collection of Charley Steiner cracking up on classic SportsCenters.
Anyone ever played TypeRacer? I goofed around with that some this morning, and the best I could get was in the 80-90 range. I thought I was much faster than that. I guess it just seems faster when you're typing something original. I can think and create quickly with the best of 'em, but accurately "copying" what you see on the screen in front of you is more challenging than you would think. And for some reason, I never got the hang of typing the numbers on the top row of the keyboard. If I'm working with more than one or two (or 1 or 2), I always use the number pad on the right side.
Speaking of games, here's an awesome 80s lyrics quiz. I'm flabbergasted that I only got 70. Some I could hear in my head, but it sounded more like early Michael Stipe ("sljfuyyl mlknsiqkd mumble") than actual words. Also, while capitalization doesn't matter, spelling apparently does. (How the fuck do you spell "Jessie" in that song?). Enjoy!
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This is the funniext joke in the world(I could not find my preferred version and am too lazy to edit):
ReplyDeleteAs he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a sound on the roof of His house and rushed out to investigate. Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off His home, he promptly called up the local zoo authorities to inform them one of their animals had escaped. He was reassured that a gorilla recovering units was on the way and to remain calm.
A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulled up to the house. The elderly driver proceeds to recover from the back of the truck, a chihuahua dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a baseball bat, and a 12-gauge shotgun.
Puzzled on how this lone elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla that had by now torn half the roof apart, the chap asked him how he would go about doing this. As he handed him over the 12-gauge shotgun, the zoo employee explained the plan:
"First I`ll climb up there with the ladder. Then I`ll approach the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat. As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained chihuahua will attack its private parts. When I get back on the ground, the gorilla will have lowered its hands to its groin area to protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip on the handcuffs. Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up and take him back to the zoo..."
Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled house owner asked why he was handed the 12-gauge shotgun?
"Well," explained the experienced gorilla retriever, "It`s just a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the unlikely event that once on the roof, the gorilla knocks me off with the baseball, shoot the dog.".
Ahhh yes. I've long known that was your favorite. And it is indeed funny. I'm horrible at remembering entire jokes, but my two favorites end with the respective punchlines:
ReplyDelete"It don't matter. Just gonna be you and me."
"Your honor, I didn't say she was crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy."
Who cares about jokes? I scored 76.75 on the lyrics quiz!!!!
ReplyDeleteHahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!
I finally beat Shan at SOMETHING!!!!
Heeheehee!!
Meg<--- doing the snoopy dance!
That's awesome! I would present you with a lyrical trophy, if I had one. That's great recall on those songs. many of them were *right there* on the tip of tongue and I just couldn't pull them out of the vault. Good Stuff! (A B-52s song, BTW).
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of trivia, I couldn't help but think of you and Freebird as I watched the John Adams miniseries (that prominently featured his wife Abigail).
(There's a link at the top for a 90s quiz, but evidently, I didn't retain as much of that decade as I thought I had).