The Eight O'Clock Hour

Tonight, I turned on every light in the house. I brewed coffee, turned the freezer down to 12 below, turned on every TV and made sure both Tivos were recording two programs each. I had the PC playing iTunes and streaming live video. I put one beer mug in the dishwasher and ran it on potscrubber mode, then plugged in a boombox and played it loud to drown out the noise. I put one sock in the washer and ran a hot cycle, and then dried it for over an hour. I vacuumed my bathmat over and over, and lest I break a sweat, I turned the AC down to a comfortable 65 even though it's about 40 outside. I blended up a pina colada, even though I was already drinking whiskey. I made toast and microwaved a corn dog. For half an hour. It's a little done. My laptop was about to go into sleep mode, but I flicked the touchpad so it wouldn't. Oh, and I went outside and started my SUV, and sat in the parking lot reading a book (with the overhead light on) while gunning the engine, listening to the satellite radio and randomly programming destinations into the GPS. Then I littered.