Super Bowl LXII Ad Blog: Third Quarter

Cars.com: Plan B was having a witch doctor shrink the head of an unhelpful sales guy. This is such a terrible campaign. And I can’t believe Hodgins from Bones was slumming in this one! D

Salesgenie.com: psychic pandas, and another offensive stereotype. Where’s an animated Mickey Rooney from Breakfast at Tiffany’s? F

Vitamin Water: Shaq as a jockey. Decent CGI. I laughed at the play by play guy’s “he’s coming up like an angry Viking.” Did the water help the horse? Meh. C-

Bud Light (cavemen): You can usually count on Bud Light commercials to bring the funny, but the batting average isn’t great this year. This one was okay (“Bottle opener sucks!”). B-

Ice Breakers: Carmen Electra is impressed by gum. D-

Bridgestone tires (deer in headlights): Bridgestone is rocking this year. You think you’re in another, run of the mill “avoid the deer” car commercial, when all of a sudden Alice Cooper – and his snake – pop up. Then Richard Simmons, followed by a gunning of the engine. Great. Demonstrate the product benefits, surprise me, make me laugh. A+

CareerBuilder (wish on a star). Not bad, but a big let down from the beating heart leaping out of the chest. C+

Hyundai Genesis: Hyundai is entering the luxury market. We all laughed when the Japanese car makers did it. Wonder if the Koreans can pull it off? Salesgenie should follow this up with animated Koreans complaining in thick accents about getting not getting enough leads, while they’re dining on a Budweiser Dalmatian. The car doesn’t look too bad. Simple, straightforward approach. B

Movie (Wall-E): Pixar can do no wrong. A

Movie (Jumper): The flick will probably be terrible, but for some reason, the trailers and the premise really intrigue me. B

E-Trade: Oh fuck, talking baby. Makes me want to put on a condom. And I’m alone. F

Bud Light (Fly): I’m not sure what to make of these “ability no longer included” ads. Kinda amusing. B-

NFL.com (NFL Stories): I play the oboe. A tale well told. Cute, heartwarming. (I heard the “uncut version” featured a story about beating David Carr within an inch of his life with the oboe). A-