Super Bowl LXII Ad Blog: First Quarter

Bud Light (Firebreathing): I’ve liked some of the “ability not contained in Bud Light” commercials before. This one didn’t do anything for me. C-

Audi R8: Great take on the classic scene from The Godfather. The brand message and the original scene aren’t a 100% match (to owners of other luxury cars need to be intimidated into giving Audi a “fair chance,” a la Johnny Fontaine?), but it’s funny enough to let that slide. Plus, the car looks badass. A-

Diet Pepsi Max (Nodding Off): Featuring Haddaway’s tune from the SNL “Butabi Brothers” skits, shows people nodding off from lack of energy, which the soft drink fixes with a pick me up. Eh. Only truly amusing moment is a cameo from Chris Kattan at the end. You know you don’t have a winner when a Chris Kattan appearance is the high point. C

SalesGenie.com (Acme cartoon): stylized cartoon, with a sales rep that sounds like Apu. Awful. D-

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Nothing we haven’t seen before, but this one is focused on scenes with Summer Glau’s terminator kicking ass and spouting deadpan lines. Love it. A

Bug Light (wine and cheese party): Similar to one from days gone by with men having Bud Light in hidden sections of the women’s clothing department of a store, except the beer is hidden in cheese and baguettes. C+

Under Armour: People training in a stylized urban environment. “The future is now!” I get what they’re trying to say – “hey, you fucks in Beaverton, we’ve arrived!” – but it left me flat. Solid strategy, boring execution. Not a good way to spend a ton of dough. Pay a college team to get a uniform endorsement. C

Bridgestone (Squirrel in road): Demonstrates product features, features always popular cute animals. Looks of terror and shrieks of horror from the woodland creatures was cute and well edited. A

Doritos: some online contest featuring voting for unknown artists. Snack chips and songs you’ve never heard before. Good time for a bathroom break. D

Unhitched: A new FOX comedy that looks awful just like every other sitcom they’ve attempted besides Arrested Development. When that didn’t garner ratings (just universal critical acclaim and Emmys), it seems they’ve gone out of their way to make every other offering as insipid as possible. Mission accomplished. F