Cocktail Party virtually live blog: Fourth Quarter

Fourth quarter. And it all comes down this.

Gators moving.

Great open field tackle on 2^nd down. 3^rd and 12.

Blitz, but didn’t get to precious Timmy Superman. Still short of the first down.

Gators are going for it. Moore is back on the field! Fumble, bitch, fumble!

Bizarre play call. We stop them. Not give it to Moore, obviously, but did Moore fuck up and bump into Percy? Can anyone have such a bad game? Why didn’t The Greatest Quarterback In The History of College Football not run in a short yardage situation?

I just talked to Freebird between quarters. He sounded like he might be slipping into “drunk, drunk, drunk” range. And there was much booing over the phone when I said something nice about Coach Willie. Yeah, the Jorts have scored 24, but I’m here to praise Willie, not bury him.

HUGE MOTHERFUCKING PASS. STAFFORD TO MIKEY. 53 YARDS FOR THE TD! Unlike Superman’s wobblers, that was a thing of beauty. And Mikey could have gone down with the catch, but he stayed on his feet and took it to the house.

Party at the Freebirds, watching DirecTV, which has a notorious few second delay. The phone rings there just as Mikey enters the end zone.

Despite the drunken jubilation, there is STILL a LOT of ball to play. 11 point lead, with 11 minutes left.

What the fuck? How much time could Tebow have? Dump pass, huge gain.

Jorts to the 1 and a half. Before we can catch a breath, these cockgobblers have come right back.

Tebow tries to run, tackled for a loss.

3^rd and 2.

I’m doing my bit for juju – alternating between copious amounts of whiskey in the “Lindsay” and “Appleby” Munson stadium cups.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, Tebow. TD for the Jorts. Okay, I’m going back to the Lindsay Scott cup.

They go for 2. Miss it! Dawgs by 5, 35-30. This cup appears to be working now.

Allen to the 32 on the kickoff return.

Danielson tells the “scorpion across the lake” story. It was much better on Star Trek Voyager. Mainly, because it didn’t involve Tebow. And featured Jeri Ryan in a skin tight costume.

3^rd and long for the Dawgs. We need this. Huge conversion to Bailey.

24 runs like a motherfucker for a first down. 160 yards rushing.

7:44 to go. Tick, bitch, tick.

7 to Figgins. First down.

Johnson with a nice run. I’m sorry, who was that? 2^nd and 3.

Moreno close to the first down. 3^rd and 1.

First and goal at the 5! What a run. Screw Babs and Judy Garland – THIS is “A Star Is Born.”

4:15. 2^nd and goal. Tick, tick.

Moreno! Touchdown Dawgs! 41-30.

Freebird calls to invoke the “best UGA back since Herschel” proclamation. I can’t argue. Hearst? Hampton? Worley? Who could it be?

Commercial break, with Knowshon dancing. Damn, this could be sweet.

3:30 left. First down, Jorts on the 24. 2 TOs left. Down by 12.

Complete to 11 again. Is he always fucking open? 2:44, on the 12.

Tebow almost sacked for the 7^th time. 2^nd down.

Fumble!!!! Dawgs recover!!!! This bitch is done! Pope Urban doesn’t have a visor to throw, so he tosses a headset! And Tebow takes a bonus hit! HOW MOTHERFUCKING SWEET IS THIS?

Tebow can reportedly raise the dead, but he can’t save this game. Suck on this, Timmy!

First down DAWGS! Kneel downs, and watch the celebration.

This was a total team effort. Stafford was awesome. Knowshon established himself as THE MAN (188 and 3 TDs). Bailey, Massaquoi – everyone came up big. Except for the coverage on 11, the D was solid. Richt and Bobo made all the right calls.

Book it – DAWGS OVER GATORS 42-30. Fuck you Tebow, Fuck you Urban, Fuck you Percy. Fuck you Spurrier, Fuck you Wuerffel, Fuck you Kearse. Fuck you Leak. Fuck you Billy Donovan (just for the hell of it), Fuck you everyone that’s ever worn blue and orange. Free at last, free at last.

MAN, IS THERE GONNA BE SOME PROPERTY DESTROYED TONIGHT.