Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Next Question

Super Bowl "media day" always elicits a few chuckles, with the profoundly inane questions hurled at the players and coaches. There's a good summary on SI.com. Two of the most famous – one to Jim Plunkett about his parents, and another to Doug Williams about being a black QB – are listed here (though the Williams question, while funny in a non-PC way, has been debunked as an urban legend).

Perhaps these will get asked today:

To QB "Sexy Rexy" Grossman: "Do you prefer your sexual partners to wear jorts, wifebeaters, or both?"

To QB Peyton Manning: "Have you considered doing any commercial endorsements?" Or "Are you glad Steve Spurrier isn't coaching the Bears?"

To LB Brian Urlacher: "When you were banging Paris Hilton, did you wear four or five condoms at one time?"

To Coach Lovie Smith: "How was it being married to Thurston Howell III?"

To QB Brian Griese: "Do you often feel like U2 opening for William Hung?"

To RB Adrian Petersen: "Aren't you tired from playing for both Oklahoma and Chicago the last few years?"

To P Brad Maynard: "With Rex Grossman directing your offense, do you worry about your leg falling off from overuse sometime during the 3rd quarter?"

To DT Tank Johnson: "If I was going to kill someone outside a nightclub, do you recommend using an AK-47 or an AR-10?" Or, "Have the Bengals tried to sign you yet?"

To RB Joseph Addai: "Does Nick Saban really have cloven hooves and bathe in the blood of innocent children?"

To DT Dan Klecko: "Did Mark Gastineau ever bring Brigitte Nielsen over to your dad's house for a three way?"

To LB Cato June: "Did it bother you playing sidekick to the Green Hornet, when you could easily kick his ass?"

To Offensive Coordinator Tom Moore: "When Peyton is calling the plays, what tunes are you listening to on your Ipod?"

To WR Reggie Wayne: "Do all receivers from 'The U' get an endorsement deal for crack pipes, or is that just Michael Irvin?"

To CB Tim Jennings: "If you were playing defense by yourself, 1 vs. 11, against Georgia Tech, how many times would you intercept Reggie Ball?"

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