Thursday, September 3, 2009

Reasons not to be excited about college football starting tonight

I kid, of course. I mean it's fantastic that the most awesome thing ever invented by man (part of a short list that includes the TiVo, the interwebs, the blackberry, the grind n' brew coffee maker and whiskey) is starting the season again after what seems like an interminable hiatus. And it should, as always, be a wonderful season, full of twists and turns and drama.

Note: one of the many, many reasons I don't watch reality TV is that in essence, sports IS the ultimate reality TV, only far more entertaining and less manufactured (and with fewer Kardashians, Pratts and Partridges).

That said, there are things I'm absolutely dreading about the upcoming college football season, including (but not limited to):
  • Mark May.
  • Lou Holtz.
  • The hype Notre Dame will get for running through a schedule equivalent to what my single A high school played back in the 80s (surprised the Domers didn't pay Georgia School for the Deaf for one of Jesus-mandated required 7 home games).
  • FOX still covering several of the BCS games.
  • The unrelenting and unprecedented media felating of future UFL fullback and televangelist Tim Tebow.
  • Kenny Chesney and Dave Matthews Band doing music for ESPN college football coverage. (Really, it takes a special kind of douchebaggery to make you long wistfully for the days of Big & Rich).
  • No smoking in the stadium breezeways.
  • The ridiculous effort it takes inside Sanford to get a stadium cup full of ice water as a mixer (really, folks, don't ruin good whiskey or bourbon with sugary soft drinks).
  • The mainstream media's continued "grudge" or apathy toward Georgia. (Has a program from a top tier conference, with such a recent string of continued upper level performance, ever gotten so little ongoing respect from pundits and journalists?)
  • Conversely, the predictable media slurping of the usual suspects (USC, Penn State, Ohio State, Florida, Notre Dame).
  • Gameday traffic.
  • Television coverage issues. (Right now, my local ABC affiliate is scheduled to show Baylor / Wake Forest Saturday at 3:30, instead of UGA / OSU. Oh, how the viewing needle will move for that epic matchup).
  • Predetermined Heismanery.
  • Tedious, idiotic, insulting or unlistenable announcing (Pam Ward, Rod Gilmore, Bob Davie, Mike Patrick, among others).
Yeah, all that is truly annoying. But the good outweighs the bad by far, no? Time for some football.


  1. Speaking of Single A Georgia High Schools, I saw earlier today that one of Oklahoma State's D-Lineman is a product of Rossville.

    And, you may get UGA-Okie State on the Deuce, if Baylor/Wake is on ABC. I saw a secondary coverage map somewhere on the interwebs if want to look for it.

  2. wow, I grew up in Rossville (though I didn't go to school there). Interesting.

    I saw an early version of that map, which is what stupefied me (I'm in ACC country now). I think this is ABC's final version It doesn't look good for my location for either channel. However, I still have the old "ABC East" and "ABC West" channels grandfathered in from my very early DirecTV days, so I'm hoping the REAL game will show up on those. Or, it's GamePlan time.