Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Also, please make sure your nuclear reactor is properly shielded when you order a Frosty

Okay, I'm out running some errands last week, and I decide to swing through the Wendy's drive thru for a quick burger. I place my order, drive up to the window, and this is the huge sign I see plastered on it.

You're fucking kidding me, right?

I'm in my own car. That I paid for with my own money. Which is insured with my own money. Which is fueled by my own gas, which I also pay for. At a drive thru window, obtaining food, which I also pay for. And all these things are taxed out the ass as it is. (Not to mention the exorbitant taxes on the ciggies I might have been smoking in my car at the drive thru window where I was the fucking customer). I'm not sitting in the middle of the of the dining room, with other patrons in close proximity, who may or may not smoke, lighting up a huge fucking cubano or toking off a hooka. I'm in my own car, with the wind whistling around us, and the window only open to receive the burger that I was paying for, and I'm greeted with this shit?

Let me get this straight. The local politicos are so worried about second hand smoke from someone in their own car, wafting out of a car window, through the strong breeze, across a three foot expanse, and into the Star Trek Enterprise-esque auto sealing window of a fucking fast food drive thru, and harming the workers? The workers that spend 8 hour (or more) shifts in close quarters with griddles and deep fryers and probably go home covered in enough grease to lubricate all the engines in all the aircraft carriers in the US Navy? Because that poof of smoke that makes its way out of my car, through the wind and into the window which is open for a total of about 15 seconds might cause irreparable harm to their totally healthy, oh so vulnerable meat sack?

I was tempted to put the car in park, eat my burger at the window, and enjoy smoking an entire pack of Marlboros as a post-meal treat with all the windows (and the sun roof!) open, then write a "fuck you" check for $250.

1 comment:

  1. Are you sure those aren't exuberant taxes?

    Wait. This isn't a Dollhouse 1.2 review, is it?

    Wendy's has no right to act as though it's invested in health issues. Do you know how they make the chili? Blech.