I'm expecting locusts any second now.

Wow. What a shitty couple of days. Discover Thursday afternoon that my car has a flat. Have to drive it hobbled to the NTB for a new one. Find that the annual spring ritual of tiny ants making their way into the laundry room to dine on the kids' food has started again this year. Great. My 1 hour and 20 minute flight back to Atlanta last night winds up taking 6 hours, when we're late taking off, encounter "weather" in Atlanta, go into holding pattern, but run out of gas, land in Greenville to refuel (on the tarmac), but then wait 1 hour to get "our paperwork" and fly back to Atlanta. And of course, the return trip home is where I got stuck with a fucking window seat sitting beside someone very large. At least I had time to work 20 TV Guide crossword puzzles. And finally, come home at 2 AM last night to find that the AC on the main floor has stopped working.

I feel like a MasterCard Commercial:

New left rear tire? $175.
Pest control visit? $150.
AC service call? $180.
Six hours smashed up against a little window so I can see the spot on the ground where the flying cylindrical tube of death with wings will imminently crash, not able to find the left armrest under the sweaty tidal wave of flesh from Jabba the Hutt and her bottomless bag of Cheeto's? Priceless.

Still, there were interesting moments sandwiched in there yesterday. Plus, it's cocktail hour now. Hoo-Fucking-Ha.