If I was Fred Silverman, Dammit!

That's an "old school" TV reference that A. totally shows my age, and B. illustrates that I was a TV junkie when I probably should have been learning socialization skills with other kids.

Anyway, I do a lot of praising and bitching about the tube on this here blog, and it got me to thinking. What if I actually was the head of a network, and could program it exactly like I wanted to? What would it look like, night to night? In a way, with the Most Miraculous Thing Ever, Tivo, and the interwebs, you actually can be your own programmer and watch things when you want to watch them. However, just to satisfy my own curiosity, I went through that exercise, and it was much harder than I thought.

I gave myself a few rules to conform to reality:

• I could only pick shows that are currently produced first run.
• I couldn't pick shows that have already been officially cancelled (like Andy Barker, PI, the best comedy in ages), but I could pick shows that I know are going to end soon (The Sopranos) or are tracking poorly/on the renewal bubble (Drive, Veronica Mars, Raines).
• Monday through Friday, I could only program 3 hours, 8 - 11 EST.
• Saturday and Sunday, I could program 4 hours, 7 - 11 EST.
• I cheated once, not giving American Idol a "results" show, as that's just 29 - 59 minutes worth of crap filler and I'll just pretend that we can get away with showing the "loser"/"winner" either in the first minute of the following week's show, or on the youtubes.
• I didn't account for sporting shows (playoffs, Monday Night Football) because well, that would just be too damned hard.
• Because some shows have a shorter run, or are seasonal in nature, I gave myself a "bullpen" of shows that rotate in and out as needed.

That said, here's the lineup for ShanTV:

Monday
Drive
24
Lost

Serialized, adrenalized, mysterious action shows with almost impenetrable plots and improbable thrills.

Tuesday
American Idol
How I Met Your Mother
My Name is Earl
30 Rock
Entourage

Fun night, starting off with the watercooler fueler that is Idol, followed by a two hour block of comedy.

Wednesday
Veronica Mars
House
Raines

Mysteries built around enigmatic, central characters.

Thursday
Bones
CSI
Criminal Minds

Gory, dark and entertaining procedurals, with great ensemble casts.

Friday
Shark
Rescue Me
Nip/Tuck

Darkly entertaining dramas, with deft bits of comedy and lots of voracious (and appreciated) scenery chewing.

Saturday
Psych
Big Love
The Sopranos
Dexter

Starts off with quirky, appealing humor before transitioning into violent, thoughtful drama, all cemented around a theme of "family."

Sunday
Doctor Who
Eureka
Heroes
Battlestar Galactica

Sci-Fi night, baby. Perfect capper to a great week. Live long and prosper.

Bullpen/Rotation Series
The Closer
Law and Order, Criminal Intent
Monk
The 4400
Dresden Files
Weeds