Tuesday, April 17, 2007

If I was Fred Silverman, Dammit!

That's an "old school" TV reference that A. totally shows my age, and B. illustrates that I was a TV junkie when I probably should have been learning socialization skills with other kids.

Anyway, I do a lot of praising and bitching about the tube on this here blog, and it got me to thinking. What if I actually was the head of a network, and could program it exactly like I wanted to? What would it look like, night to night? In a way, with the Most Miraculous Thing Ever, Tivo, and the interwebs, you actually can be your own programmer and watch things when you want to watch them. However, just to satisfy my own curiosity, I went through that exercise, and it was much harder than I thought.

I gave myself a few rules to conform to reality:
  • I could only pick shows that are currently produced first run.
  • I couldn't pick shows that have already been officially cancelled (like Andy Barker, PI, the best comedy in ages), but I could pick shows that I know are going to end soon (The Sopranos) or are tracking poorly/on the renewal bubble (Drive, Veronica Mars, Raines).
  • Monday through Friday, I could only program 3 hours, 8 - 11 EST.
  • Saturday and Sunday, I could program 4 hours, 7 - 11 EST.
  • I cheated once, not giving American Idol a "results" show, as that's just 29 - 59 minutes worth of crap filler and I'll just pretend that we can get away with showing the "loser"/"winner" either in the first minute of the following week's show, or on the youtubes.
  • I didn't account for sporting shows (playoffs, Monday Night Football) because well, that would just be too damned hard.
  • Because some shows have a shorter run, or are seasonal in nature, I gave myself a "bullpen" of shows that rotate in and out as needed.

That said, here's the lineup for ShanTV:



Serialized, adrenalized, mysterious action shows with almost impenetrable plots and improbable thrills.

American Idol
How I Met Your Mother

My Name is Earl

30 Rock


Fun night, starting off with the watercooler fueler that is Idol, followed by a two hour block of comedy.

Veronica Mars


Mysteries built around enigmatic, central characters.


Criminal Minds

Gory, dark and entertaining procedurals, with great ensemble casts.

Rescue Me


Darkly entertaining dramas, with deft bits of comedy and lots of voracious (and appreciated) scenery chewing.

Big Love

The Sopranos


Starts off with quirky, appealing humor before transitioning into violent, thoughtful drama, all cemented around a theme of "family."

Doctor Who


Battlestar Galactica

Sci-Fi night, baby. Perfect capper to a great week. Live long and prosper.

Bullpen/Rotation Series
The Closer
Law and Order, Criminal Intent


The 4400

Dresden Files


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