Big Game my ass

The NFL is going a little overboard on controlling the "intellectual property" of the Super Bowl moniker. Yes, I realize that sponsors pay top dollar for a marketing link to the biggest event of the year. And I completely understand that they don't want every company under the sun using their logo and likenesses without having paid for the privilege. But now there's this?

They want to stop the use of the phrase "the big game?" They want to crack down on retailers that put out a sign that says "stock up on chips and dip for the big game?" I mean, if it was "Get your officially licensed NFL chips for The Super Bowl here, and Roger Goodell will come to your house and mix up some mean french onion dip in Petyon Manning's helmet" I might understand their point. How vigorously are they going to "police" this? Will we be seeing ads about "the huge pigskin contest on Sunday?" Or, as a helpful suggestion, here are some other marketing phrases to describe "the big game:"

The game with the overlong and relentlessly nauseating pre-game shows.

The game with the halftime show that is free from titties now.

The game with increasingly less interesting and creative commercials.

The house that Prince built.

The game with an endless parade of cavity-inducing "human interest" stories instead of real X's and O's.

The game that Marty Schottenheimer has heard about.

The game that turned into "let's slurp Peyton Manning" softcore pornography.

The game that in comparison, makes Studio 60 looked underhyped and overperforming.

The game that the lord god almighty stopped what he was doing, and made Tony Dungy win.

The game where Eugene Robinson goes for blowjobs.